Night time 'bad habits' ... the independent baby sleep - support thread for anyone trying to break baby sleep habits

[Millipede170]

This thread is for anyone who routinely 'helps' their LO to get back to sleep when they wake in the night, would like them to start being more independent, but doesn't relish the thought of CC or CIO. Or maybe you've been there and are out the other side and can share your journey/pearls of wisdom (you could be my new hero). What methods have you tried or come up with? Please share ...

DS now takes my old pregnancy/feeding pillow to bed with him. It's sausage-shaped and presumably smells of us/milk. He cuddles it, crocodile wrestles with it, and sucks one of the seams. It's probably an incubus of bacterial plague but he has made it part of his settling and sleeping ritual.

When he first took a shine to it, I was so worried that he'd suffocate I lay awake slept in his room for 2 nights listening to him breathing.

Good morning, please may I join in?

I have a 15mo DD who loves to wake between 4.45-5.15 for the day everyday. Most nights she wakes up once or twice and the only way she goes back down is with a feed. I've tried everything to night wean but I think she's in the habit of getting up for it rather than actually being hungry.

She doesn't feed to sleep before bed time, we do bottle, bath, book, bed and she's asleep between 6.30-7pm.

She also doesn't have a soft toy she's attached to either. I think that Would help but I can't seem to get her interested.

By no means the worse child but as DH has hurt his back I'm doing get up in the night and morning and I'm starting a new job tomorrow, I need some sleep!

Hi frogtime welcome. And good luck with your new job!

Tell us a bit more about your DD and someone might come up with a bright idea. Is she bottle or breast fed in the night? Is she in her own cot/room? Does she wake at the same time every night or is it random? Does she take a dummy? What is her daytime sleep looking like?

Have a good day tired mama

Thanks milli :)

She's bottle fed (cows milk/1 bottle of formula at bed time) and mostly actual food, In her own room for the last 10 months, no dummy (got rid around 10mo and sleep improved from then to where we are now). The night wakings are random, anywhere between 11pm-3.30am!
Day time sleeping is varied at the minute too, she's trying to drop a nap and if she sleeps for a couple of hours in the morning, waking just before lunch then she'll go through to bedtime but if that is disturbed or she wakes suddenly then she'll usually have an hour around 3-4pm.

She's both predictable and suprising everyday!

Ahhh pressed send too quickly!

Have a great day to a everyone here too

Littlemessymiss thanks for that article...really interesting read. I'll definitely be trying to get DS attached to a comforter in the future....but difficult at 4 months isn't it? Partly because of the SIDS risk but mostly for me I find DS is so unsettled if un-swaddled? Anyone else have that problem??
I've been using woombie....tried him last night in Love to Dream swaddle that a friend has lent me....oh my...big mistake! Arms flying everywhere last night and had the worst night to date! Wouldn't settle with dummy at all...required boob every hour 😱 I put him back in woombie at 3am and it did help him settle for 1.5hours 🤣
...we are off for 3rd vaccinations this morning too 🙈

Hello all!
Nice to have company in this voyage to better sleep. A big what Milli said to her comments way back about bad habits in commas, when things are really bad, get sleep in any way you can!

Will check back and do some personal replies but wanted to apologise for no comments yesterday, and let you know of ds new sleep habit....
I was quite happy with 2-3 wake ups and ready to bite the bullet with night weaning, but for the last 2 nights he's been put to bed as normal but then immediately rolls onto his tummy, up to all fours then throws himself at the bars or pulls to standing- then takes about 45 minutes to settle back down, and he does this at every wake up! It's so annoying!!!

Good luck with the new job frog

That article is interesting! Feel like I could manage that, and its with no upset hopefully. She got an abundance of bunny comforters when she was born so I'm going to try putting one of those between us when feeding her at night and see if I can hopefully pass her onto that.
Although, all went out the window last night because she's poorly.

Good luck with your new job frog Hope you got something sleep.

Hiya scottish, me old mucker. I have a perfect vision of your DS launching himself at the cotbars 😉 Hopefully things will settle a bit when the novelty of the new manoeuvre has worn off. We had some disruption here when DS first realised he could sit up in his cot unaided - but he's forgotten how to do that again now!!

Tabitha 4 months is too young for him to become properly attached to a particular toy or comfort item unfortunately. But I think it's definitely worth laying the groundwork with something that you both cuddle when your LO feeds and then it gets popped into the cot. We had a muslin for ages. Then one of my pyjama tops with the sleeves knotted so he couldn't do himself any mischief. He'd literally pull one of those over his face when he was going to sleep (I also think he likes the dark). Now the pillow has taken over as he's a bit older and likes to cuddle something. But I'm sure it's no coincidence that it's the pillow we've used for feeding ever since he was born 😍

Also - what you say about her going nuts when you changed her swaddle is just so typical IME - this is how they instil The Fear into their parents about changing anything in their routine!!! I was terrified for months of switching anything up, became almost obsessed about it because what little sleep we had would instantly go out of the window! But sometimes you just have to switch stuff up. It's said it takes 3 days to make or break a habit...

Frog I hope someone with an older LO than ours comes along shortly to lend you their experience! But I take it when you say you've tried everything to night wean you've done the old water-in-the-bottle and decreasing the time allowed on the bottle tricks. I must admit I just got to the point a few weeks ago where I just decided he wasn't coming out of the cot during the night any more, but it wasn't a difficult transition in the end because he wasn't actually taking much milk any more anyway. It was just habit/routine. Nap transitions are the pits though. I hurried 3-to-2 along but starting a timed routine but you know your LO best, you might do better letting it happen more organically.

We are just aborting nap #2 at this end because of the hacking cough. If anybody has any magic tricks for settling coughs, I'm all ears. This one's a beast....

That's interesting millipede when u say it takes 3 days to make or break a habit....so maybe I should try Love to dream swaddle again tonight then? Was going to just revert back to woombie but it is getting so tight now...it's been tumble tried too many times I think lol!
...had 3rd jabs this morning and he's been sleepy since!...so not sure which way tonight is going to go anyway?!! X

I've heard Vicks vapour rub on soles of feet with socks on helps settle a cough??! Not tried it tho! X

Yeah tried all those milli, she doesn't drink nearly as much as before which is one plus, I took an ounce away every 4-5 days to try and make it like it wasnt worth waking up for. She screamed at water the few times we tried it too!

I've just tried to put her down for nap #2 but it's not happening, despite the tired eyes! She's excited about something and smiling away through the yawns.

Thanks for the job well wishes everyone, I'm really looking forward to it. Will report back tomorrow!

Tabitha I heard the Vicks thing too, not sure if/why it works but he's smothered in the stuff tonight! Thanks for the reminder!! And yes, I would say any changes you try, give them a few days before deciding whether it's working or not. The woombie sounds like it's going to have to go soon in any case! Good luck post-jabs.

Frog sorry I don't have any original suggestions. Sounds to me like you're doing everything right. Hopefully with the info you've given someone else will have a bright idea! Bugger all naps here today too so tonight could go one of 2 ways...

Hi everyone. May I join? Read through all your posts. What a lovely thread. Anyhoo, I think I have the oldest dd. She's 20 months. Thought I'd share my experience with naps and night feeds. Dd used to nap for 30 mins around 4 times a day. I started by keeping her awake at the end of the day. Not easy I know! Then cutting out the morning one and putting her down before lunch. In the last couple of months she has been having a nap after lunch and has been sleeping for up to 2 hours, which is amazing. However she hasn't ever really been a good sleeper at night. I've been single since dd was 3 months old so we are obviously very close. I never really did co sleeping. At around 10 months she refused to sleep in her cot so I turned it into a bed. She slept really well in it for a couple of months. Then she started nursery at 13 months. She's picked up every illness in the book since and her sleep has been terrible! So for an easy life and sleep I started putting her in my bed. She is finally sleeping through but now I don't know how to get her to sleep in her own bed again. I've tried and she wakes every 10 mins until I put her in my bed. Also with night feeds I reduced the amount of each feed (bottle fed) and she eventually just didn't want it even if she did wake. Sorry I've rambled a bit!

Also dd has an awful cough. I'll be trying the vicks as well!

Hi comealong

This is a lovely thread, thank you so much for sharing your story, I think your dd is the oldest at the moment!

I'm afraid I can't really offer any words of wisdom, I quite liked cosleeping but ds decided this meant he could feed all night, and that was not part of the deal!

Would it be possible to sleep in her room with her for a bit? - spoken by a woman who slept on the floor of the nursery last night to lie ds down every time he started crawling in his cot! We don't have a spare mattress but if you did it might be more comfy. Then gradually move further away from her bed till you're not there at all? I don't know if this would help or just reinforce her view that she needs you to sleep!

Good luck Milli and the rest of the non-nappers, we had pretty ok naps here but just taken dh an hour to put ds down and actually stay down- like you Milli, ds has slept on his tummy for the first time for the last couple of nights- another reason I slept in the nursery

Hi everyone just joining in! My DD is almost one and used to sleep okay, she was night weaned at about 8 months (FF) but recently she has been waking up screaming and I sometimes feed her/co sleep do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep!

I also am yet to move her into her own room as I am too lazy to walk in there in the night. Not sure if this is making things worse or not haha!

comealong must be tough on your own - I would happily co sleep though and kick my OH out of bed but he won't move haha

Thanks scottish yes I've thought about sleeping in her room but it's not a very big room so my mattress won't fit! I've also thought about getting her a proper single bed so I can sleep with her and like u say gradually move away or limit the time I sleep in her bed. It doesn't really bother me her co sleeping but I want her to get used to having her own room as she gets older.

Great thread!

My dd, 8 mths, sleeps very well in bed with me/ me and DP but ever since I tried to move her to a cot to try and get a more time with DP/ a more comfortable sleep it has been really variable. We've had a couple of good nights (2 wakings) here and there, but it's been mostly bad (4 wakings) with some terrible (countless/ taking up to an hour to go back down).

It took aaaages to get her to sleep in the cot at all and now I'm trying to put her down awake and get her off to sleep by shush patting - last night worked like a dream but she still woke loads afterwards anyway.

Will follow everyone's progress with interest!

Hi snoopy, hi LaPharisienne great to have you both on board

snoopy many is the time I've regretted moving DS into his own room at 5 months! I must've trudged a million depressing steps during the night since then! But I just couldn't sleep with him in the room. We used to call him The Pig because he made a noise like a rattlesnake crossed with a warthog in the night - plus I'm a v light sleeper now anyway. Is your DD going through a leap atm do you think? Crawling, cruising, chatting or whatever? If she was doing ok before (lucky you!) she might find her stride again after a bit of a regression?

LaPhar good work with the shush/pat. How long is it since you first moved her across into her cot? Is she in your room still? You've prob thought of this but putting something in her cot that smells of you might help you to gradually withdraw your support when she's going to sleep. I used a worn pj top of mine. You can only imagine how weird it must be going from the family bed into a totally neutral space 🙃

Well all bets are off here as DS is proper sick. He's oozing yellow snot (sorry if TMI) and can't sleep more than 10 mins without hacking his lungs up which means naps are off. I took him out for a drive this afternoon thinking the upright position would help. It did a bit, but he still sounded like he was drowning back there...

So last night he slept til 1130pm but woke absolutely screaming his head off and wouldn't be calmed in his cot. So I hopped into the single daybed in his room with him and he fed and snuggled for the rest of the night. I'm exhausted (co sleeping = no sleeping IME) but needs must when they are poorly.

Hope you all have a good night x

Hi everyone, my LOs (twins) are 17mo and still not sleeping through :-( having spoken to friends with similar aged babies then I would say around 75% of babies do at this age but by no means all, sadly! TBH I don't mind the night feeds so much - kind of used to them now - but I am sooooo fed up with DS1 not settling for HOURS at night time, it makes me absolutely furious now after so many evenings of him gaffing around before he'll go to sleep. Our routine has always been bath, bottle on the big bed with myself and OH and transfer to cots when they're asleep - but recently he's become a real shocker, even when tired out he just won't settle himself, he has to wait till he's sobbing with tiredness before he'll give in.

OH is upstairs with him now trying to get him to sleep, it's already been over an hour. He is by far the harder baby to look after during the day too which doesn't help my temper in the evenings! And OH makes him smile and laugh which really doesn't help when I'm on my own, he sees bedtime as 'fun time' still.

Grrrrrr! Let's hope all our little sleep thieves calm down soon!!

By the way I did speak to my health visitor about the night feeds and she told me if they're genuinely hungry and go straight back to sleep after their milk, there isn't much I can do, as long as I make sure they eat all they can during the day; they are both big for their age so presumably can't eat enough to get themselves through the night too. Sigh!