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Original poster

Every night feels likes a lifetime

341 replies

ThursdayLastWeek · 25/09/2016 04:09

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself Sad

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 02/10/2016 20:22

I've always done it this way: put them in the cot and leave them, sometimes shush them or pat for a while before leaving the first time. Go back when they cry, at first this could be every minute. Shush them or pick them up until they stop crying. Repeat ad infinitum.
Ds is currently downstairs, our tea is going cold, because he has just beaten us at round one tonight. After 30 minutes of crying, shushing, patting he got to the stage where he was too upset so he's come back down. We'll try tomorrow! (I'm telling you this so you don't think I'm some guru whose baby sleeps like a baby....!)
I will say though, sometimes its like a miracle. He goes to bed he coos for a bit, and he goes to sleep. Daytime or night time. Its enough to make me realise that the baby is not broken, he can do it. I can do it too (and I think we all on this thread need to feel that!) If he's crying like you mention above, then that's not going to work, its too distressing, so I would maybe try again when he's a bit older- my ds is nearly one remember so he's a bit older than some of the others on here.

ImSoVeryTired · 02/10/2016 20:30

Hmm, one of my problems is that if baby is tired enough to sleep, he's grouchy anyway, so the minute you put him in the cot he's crying. There is no quiet moment or settling him to start with. I must do some more reading up on it. Smile

thenewaveragebear1983 · 02/10/2016 20:39

I know it's a cliche, but could he be overtired? Have you tried white noise- I've never used it but I have friends who swear by it.
It's so hard, and tbh if my ds was getting so so distressed then I wouldn't do it. But that doesn't leave you any better off, Sorry.
I haven't done much reading about it but I'd imagine there's 1000s of threads on here about it so lots of advice
Ds in in his cot for round 2, he's not crying yet but I can hear him thrashing around. He's in a travel cot so he can't climb out!

thenewaveragebear1983 · 02/10/2016 20:45

Ok so he's gone very quiet.....think he's asleep. He didn't cry second time round so must have been tired.
I'm going to inch my way downstairs and finally have my now cold dinner!

ImSoVeryTired · 02/10/2016 21:58

Hope he stays asleep AverageBear and the dinner is ok. I'm on my first wake up.
He could be overtired but I don't think so. Hell im not really sure about anything anymore. He's my first and after a while I find myself second guessing everything, if I think about things too much. I've mostly been doing what felt right instinctually. I think one of the hardest things with babies, is that there is often no right or wrong way. How on earth are you supposed to know what will work for your child. It's all trial and error, which gets confusing for everyone .

user1474026214 · 02/10/2016 22:07

Good night and good luck all. We have had one wake up already too. Boo. Xx

Original poster
ThursdayLastWeek · 03/10/2016 04:58

Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh

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APocketfulOfStars · 03/10/2016 05:22

Just catching up after over an hour.of wakefulness where I've tried to pat/ignore/remove feet from between bars. Now given up. Oh Thursday. Goodmorning to you :(

Is it wet cloth nappy, is it teething, is it hunger, is it just time to wake up?

I'm So I'm with you on not knowing what to do. There's just so much information, which is usually contradictory. As you say, you do what feels right instinctively. But maybe that works for one baby but not for another.

Re dreams....you could be right that they're processing their daytime emotions/experiences and that.comes out at night. I might read more on that.

Original poster
ThursdayLastWeek · 03/10/2016 05:28

'Good' morning Stars I've given up also and come downstairs for a cup of tea since he's going to be rolling around like an idiot at this God forsaken hour Angry

I don't know about baby dreams, but my 3.6yo has recently been having night terrors - that's a bit freaky.

Arrraaararraraaggghhh! This baby is so frustrating, you never know what kind of night you're in for. After 6mo of only wanting me at night he now settles much better for my DH. I might start giving him a bottle too, the BF doesn't seem to knock him out in the same way anymore.

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user1471421772 · 03/10/2016 05:56

Morning. It appears last night's 1 get up was a fluke...and I did get my hopes up...
We've been up half an hour after getting up every 90 mins last night...why the fuck he is up this early after also being up between 1:45 and 3:30 I don't know.
Thursday my eldest used to get night terrors - they tend to occur in the same part of a sleep cycle so you can go in and gently rouse them just before so that they won't have the terror. Didn't work all the time, but helped a lot.

ImSoVeryTired · 03/10/2016 09:22

Up ever hour again last night. 1/2 hour to settle. Think we may have had 1 1/2 hours at one point but can't really remember.

Original poster
ThursdayLastWeek · 03/10/2016 09:29

Bad nights all round then? How delightful

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TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 03/10/2016 09:50

Same here (although he has a cold so he gets a free pass.) slept for twenty mins after going to bed, then an hour (yippee!) then was up all night. dh ended up taking him from 3-6 so I could sleep. And then I couldn't sleep. Aaarrrrggghhhh!!!

Does anyone else feel like they are on duty 24 hours a day? I feel like I've lost the distinction between day and night (oh fuck it, it's 2am but he will be awake soon, might as well do the laundry...)

Original poster
ThursdayLastWeek · 03/10/2016 10:32

Oh yes Hubble. I'm often to be found folding drying out the tumble dryer (usually weeping at the same time) in the middle of the bloody night.

I force fed DS some calpol and stuck him back in his cot and of course he's napping like a dream. I would be too, but I just had to sign for something from the post lady, and now I have exciting post to look At!

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user1474026214 · 03/10/2016 10:49

Bad night here also. 5 wake ups...how the hell was it only one wake up just a couple of nights ago? I feel today like we have tried everything (not cc...but not ready for that and not sure will ever be) and that I am in some sort of acceptance phase now that this is jus the way it is for now. Although we have discussed getting a sleepy head grand! It's so frustrating and tiring and I am longing for my life back...

ImSoVeryTired · 03/10/2016 10:54

I can't 'do' anything in the night. If he's not sleeping, I'm holding him, trying to get him to sleep (thank god for free ebooks, I'd go mad without them). Also we live in a small cottage and I'd wake OH up if I tried to do anything. I used to hate housework but after my clingy little boy I actually look forward to doing it. I never thought I'd ever say that. I'm dying to have the time to bake a cake. Grin
Aww Hubble, it's awful when you have the opportunity to sleep but can't.
Hope the items in the post really are exciting Thursday. At least it might brighten up your day a bit. Smile

ImSoVeryTired · 03/10/2016 10:57

Aww User1474, it's awful isn't it. Especially when they have slept through, so you know they can do it!

rebeccahazel · 03/10/2016 12:17

Hubbles I'm with you in the 24 hour duty thing! It never seems to end! I feel like I spend my whole life trying to get DS to either go to sleep or stay asleep. Feels like there's very little of anything else in between.

Going for a free sleep counselling session on Friday... really hoping they don't just tell me to start some controlled crying. I think separation anxiety is a major part of our problem so that would just make it worse.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 03/10/2016 12:58

There is a difference between controlled crying and sleep training though. Not all sleep training is controlled crying, there are lots of methods so hopefully they will be able to help you. I don't know if any professionals would enforce cc just offer it as a possibility.
In context, my ds cried (howled) for at least 5 minutes today because I wouldn't let him open the dishwasher. Every time I said no and moved him he started up again. I thought nothing of walking away and letting him cry for a bit. No one died. Crying techniques for sleep training aren't any different really to any other kind of behaviour modification that baby wouldn't choose if left to his own devices.
It's so hard, I 've had three non sleepers now over 12 years and I feel like I haven't had a decent sleep in months. When you're truly desperate and at rock bottom it gives you the motivation to get it sorted.
Fingers crossed for better nights all round Flowers

rebeccahazel · 03/10/2016 13:47

Definitely happy to do some gentle sleep training!

ImSoVeryTired · 04/10/2016 10:59

Anyone else had a pm from a user1475518508 about a sleep sound track you can buy? I think someone thinks I'm desperate enough to be suckered in.
It's sposed to be some sort of magic solution.
Bah, if it really worked every parent would be using it and we would all know about it.

ImSoVeryTired · 04/10/2016 10:59

Anyone else had a pm from a user1475518508 about a sleep sound track you can buy? I think someone thinks I'm desperate enough to be suckered in.
It's sposed to be some sort of magic solution.
Bah, if it really worked every parent would be using it and we would all know about it.

ImSoVeryTired · 04/10/2016 11:00

Anyone else had a pm from a user1475518508 about a sleep sound track you can buy? I think someone thinks I'm desperate enough to be suckered in.
It's sposed to be some sort of magic solution.
Bah, if it really worked every parent would be using it and we would all know about it.

ImSoVeryTired · 04/10/2016 11:02

Anyone else had a pm from a user1475518508 about a sleep sound track you can buy? I think someone thinks I'm desperate enough to be suckered in.
It's sposed to be some sort of magic solution.
Bah, if it really worked every parent would be using it and we would all know about it.

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 04/10/2016 12:05

Yes I did too. It seemed dodgy so I haven't opened the link. I don't open/respond to any pms from 'user' usernames