Every night feels likes a lifetime

[ThursdayLastWeek]

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

[rebeccahazel]

Just adding to the 'you're not alone' posts!! My DS is nearly 9 months and hasn't slept for longer than 2.5 hours EVER. He wakes up screaming and inconsolable after about half an hour at bedtime, and I'm the only one who can calm him (with boob usually.)
It goes on all night, I co sleep to survive, and DH is pretty much permanently in the spare room now. I'm back to work in 6 weeks and feel sick with anxiety about how I'm going to cope.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Wake up #1
Good luck everyone

(As an aside, I'm not sure 5:2 would be a good diet choice for the sleep deprived - you genuinely need energy and I would worry that on the 2 days you'd feel really weak)

(I survive by eating good meals, but with shit in between. I exercise in the morning when I can still kid myself I have energy)

[StarSpotter]

Oh god rebecca that sounds awful. I feel your pain. I'm terrified about work return too.

[rebeccahazel]

DH is starting to talk about sleep training, but my gut says I don't want to do that, and I can't see it working anyway, I think a lot of it is separation anxiety. Any of you find that they sleep better in the evenings if you are there the whole time? I tend to just lie in bed with DS from 7 now. Not eating dinner is helping the waistline, if not the relationship with DH!

Anyone tried any gentle sleep training? I've read the books but not done anything TBH.

[Purplebluebird]

We had this hellish bedtime thing around that age. Eventually even boob stopped working, and the absolutely only way to get him to sleep was to have him upright resting on my shoulder, rocking and singing. He would sometimes cry, but eventually go to sleep being cuddled the whole time. BFing makes no difference to night wakes. Check out the gentle sleep solution, cheap on Amazon.

[user1474026214]

Hey ladies
Thought I'd join the conversation. My DD is appraoching 6 months. She never took a bottle as I could never express much so I have done all the night feeds. I have finally reached my limit though and hubby is now trying every day to give her a bottle of formula so I can share the burden. I may just mix feed for a while, but I will just bite the bullet and phase out the breastfeeding completely if the hourly night wakings continue for a long time. I am just not prepared to sacrifice my mental health (have just started taking ADs which was a tough decision given that I am breastfeeding) any more at the alter of breastfeeding. That sounds harsh but I want my life back!!!! We have had two wakings since half seven tonight already...

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Fed to sleep.
Now wake up #2 20 mins later.

How the fuck anyone is supposed to cope with this I simply do not know.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Gone in with medicine. The inconsistency is driving me nuts.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Wake ups 3&4

[ImSoVeryTired]

Hello fellow sufferers. My little boy (7 mths) is having a similar night to all yours. Awake every 1/2 hour till 1 when he managed to sleep for 2 hours. Since he last woke I've been trying to get him back down but he keeps waking . On 3rd attempt. After much jiggling he's currently dozing lightly on my shoulder but not ready to move yet. He woke himself up 10 mins ago with massive farts.
Oh and what am I lucky enough to dream about when I'm finally allowed some sleep..... grumpy, fussy baby and returning to work. Damn it.
Hope you are all fairing better than me.
Oh, kicked off again so back on the boob.
Does anyone else resent attaching a small person, they are really pissed off with onto their boob?

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Hello imsoverytired

I do indeed get very resentful of my baby - in fact I give him bottles if formula when I feel like I just have nothing left to give of myself IYSWIM.

So after finally getting him to sleep around 11.30, DS woke and had a bottle at 1.30, then another feed at 3.45. Then awake for the day at 6.

Motherfucker.

[AliceInHinterland]

It's so rough - it's the wriggling around getting frustrated that gets to me. I just want her to lie still and relax! She is all smiles now though and in the light of day it all feels a little bit better. Only 12 hours until bed time.
I've been here before and I know that at 6 months I can start to push back one or two of the feeds without too much guilt. Two months to go. It doesn't help that my eldest currently has no time for me and I think 'I gave everything for you and you're not even bothered about me!' Far from the clingy baby I was warned about

[thenewaveragebear1983]

for you all. I slept in the spare room last night. Dh and I call it 'the hotel'. It's both saving and killing our marriage simultaneously.,,,,
Few things I will add after reading the updates: sleep training does work. After 18 months of hell, we did 3 nights of controlled crying with ds1, he didn't even cry after the 2nd night. But he was 18 months and we were both so desperate we were determined to see it through. I think you have to be totally broken for it to work properly! We will no doubt be doing it with ds 2 eventually.
Also, please don't feel guilty about stopping breastfeeding. You have done marvellously to even be at this stage and your baby will forgive you, I promise. Ds if fully formula fed and still wakes round the clock by the way, but I can imagine feeling pretty resentful if I had to breastfeed him when he woke!

[thenewaveragebear1983]

for you all. I slept in the spare room last night. Dh and I call it 'the hotel'. It's both saving and killing our marriage simultaneously.,,,,
Few things I will add after reading the updates: sleep training does work. After 18 months of hell, we did 3 nights of controlled crying with ds1, he didn't even cry after the 2nd night. But he was 18 months and we were both so desperate we were determined to see it through. I think you have to be totally broken for it to work properly! We will no doubt be doing it with ds 2 eventually.
Also, please don't feel guilty about stopping breastfeeding. You have done marvellously to even be at this stage and your baby will forgive you, I promise. Ds if fully formula fed and still wakes round the clock by the way, but I can imagine feeling pretty resentful if I had to breastfeed him when he woke!

[user1474026214]

Another one here who feels resentful having to feed every hour. I feel relieved. I thought it was just me and thought I was supposed to be happy about giving my baby her every need through the night . Anyway, we had 6 wake ups last night but hubby was able to settle her quickly without a feed for the first 4 and then I fed at half one and 5, up for the day at 6.15. A good night for us. I have totally gone against advice from la leche league and will not offer the breast first, unless i know it is hunger. Instead hubby will offer cuddles and rocking. We will try this for a week and see if the wake ups reduce. Hubby likes it as he feel he has bonded with her more, she increasingly responds to cuddles with daddy and I don't have to resent attaching her every hour, so it works for us! This thread is really helping me x

[StarSpotter]

sotired Yes to feeling resentful latching a baby in for the millionth time. It reminds my of the bad old early days when you are completely over touched. I've had a year of my baby not taking a bottle so I'm completely over the b/f thing now!

[tangledg]

I sympathise completely. My two are 12 months apart (did not find out I was pregnant with DS2 until 5 months due to a contraception failure).

DS1 is 18 months and has only just started sleeping through. When he was 13 months sometimes he was waking 6 times a night. This on top of DS2 who wakes frequently was exhausting.

DS2 is still waking around 3 times a night (he's nearly 6 months), sometimes he will go back, other times it takes an hour to settle him off again. He will only take an ounce or two by bottle and wakes frequently for milk, he also only has 2 20 minute naps in the day.


I know how hard it is! Does your DS go down okay at night? DS1 has always gone down fine but woke frequently.

[tangledg]

I also second ibuprofen for teeth!

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Since we've started putting DS2 down on his front he actually goes to sleep really easily - he still protests, but for less than 10 minutes, often even less than that.

It's getting him to stay asleep! And trying to not to create terrible habits in keeping him there!

I'm really glad this thread is giving us all an outlet.

[StarSpotter]

Again, yes for ibuprofen for teeth. I double dose with Calpol before tea and then ibu just before bed. But I think if teeth are at the just coming through stage nothing really works properly. This thread is helping me too!

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Also there's a liquid you can get from the pharmacy called Anbesol- excellent for teething. I sort of let him chew on my finger while it gets working so it doesn't all wash away. It numbs my finger so must help with sore gums too!

[ImSoVeryTired]

I'm not trying to hijack this thread but I need to vent (again). After I last posted I got so frustrated I shouted and swore loudly at baby (he thought it was funny and grinned at me). This was after I'd tried to put him in cot 3 times and he was still wriggling and waking himself. Must have been louder than I thought as OH came in and said he'd take over. I said that wouldn't work as baby wanted boob for comfort. His solution was to get him up for the day at 4.30. I said no (prob rather snappy).
So I had baby in bed with me from 5 (when he refused to be put down again) till 6.45. He slept.
I got up and gave baby to OH so I could get more sleep. When I got downstairs a couple of hours ago OH has got all times he says baby should be eating and sleeping written on blackboard. He's writing down how long he's sleeping for. Reckons he shouldn't nap for too long in the day, no more than an hour in a go. Also told me I'm clearly not coping at nights and would I like to go to mums for a couple of days. When I questioned why his blackboard stuff is going to help, I was told to stop making it about me.
I have done just fine without all that till now, while he's been at work. In fact I get more done when he's not here.
Now he thinks I'm a terrible mother for admitting to shouting sometimes on the really bad nights. I feel like he doesn't trust me with my son. I've taken baby back upstairs for one of his 'allotted' naps and am sitting here, feeling like shit and crying. Pathetic.

[tangledg]

ImSoVery- you're not pathetic. On many a time with my youngest I have had to leave him safe in a room screaming whilst I go into a different room, count to 10 and compose myself. He's a very high needs baby. Screams pretty much constantly, never sleeps, needs attention/feeding every 10 minutes & there are times I've been at my wits end and just wanted to walk out. I'm glad I'm not the only one

[StarSpotter]

VeryTired All my mum friends say they feel like this sometimes. Being tired makes it so much worse. Be careful on cutting naps unless necessary as sleep does breed sleep I think. Maybe your DH was just trying to take control to make your feel better. Mine looked at me like I was nuts once after six solid hours of night-time feeding. They don't understand because they're not living it like us and have a break at work etc. I cry frequently with frustration and tiredness. Be kind to yourself.

[tangledg]

Oh I would also like to add that as supportive as my partner is he just doesn't get it. I'm with my kids all day every day. Sometimes if DS2 crashes at about 8pm and I'm telling him how much of a nightmare he's been that day, he will say 'well he seems fine now' as though he doesn't believe me . Even though he has witnessed episodes himself, on one instance DS2 was screaming all day long, he would not be settled at all and he wouldn't sleep, DP actually threw his dummy across the room and said 'I don't know what you want' and walked out of the room. He has broke him a few times, yet he breaks me the majority of the time and then I get told he seems ok!