Every night feels likes a lifetime

[ThursdayLastWeek]

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

[ThinkOfTheMice]

No one up? Ds still bloody awake and still bloody screaming.

I can't cope with this. I feel utterly desperate

[TheWildOnes]

My DS is coming up to 18 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. I can just about cope with the constant waking but it's the waking by screaming I can't deal with. It seems so much louder in the night. DS sleeps in his bed until about half 10 and then he's in with us, I won't let him cry in his bed as he shares a room with his brother and it's not fair to keep everyone else awake so we mostly Co-sleep.
DH has to be up at 2.45am for work. This woke DS up today so we have been awake since then.
Thinkofthemice I hope the screaming has stopped, I still get that desperate feeling in the middle of the night sometimes, I remember being so sleep deprived when he was younger that in the middle if the night I wanted to walk out and leave my whole family behind, sleep deprivation is the worst!

[Thehubbleswindscreenwipers]

Last night he finally fell asleep at about 5am. Then woke at 5:45.

I am absolutely exhausted. There's no way out :( I feel like I just can't cope any more

[BathshebaDarkstone]

to all of you.

[TheWildOnes]

DS finally fell asleep at 6.30 when it was time to get the other DC up for school. DH has to leave for work at 3am so he cant even help out.
DS has never needed much sleep. now at 18 months he naps 30 minutes a day and probably gets about 6 hours at night. He still managed to be full of energy every day.

[Thehubbleswindscreenwipers]

Ds has just napped for eight minutes. It took me an hour to get him to sleep.
Still no help from the docs, despite me requesting an appointment and basically telling them I'm suicidal. Their next spots are in the new year. What do you have to do to get help? Just reading about some poor woman who walked into train lines due to sleep deprivation. I wonder how much she'd asked for help and been palmed off?

[Purpleboa]

Hey everyone. for you all going through this sufeeing. It is truly bloody awful.
We're struggling (or rather, I'm struggling, not to worry, DH is sleeping fine!) Bad week of teething or who knows. Waking up for a party from 1 or 2 till 4am. This morning she full on headbutted me at 4am. I have the beginnings of a black eye. Ashamed to say I shouted at her - the pain and shock on top of the exhaustion just felt like the last straw.

We are still co sleeping but have set her bed up without cot bars. Hoping this might help but I just don't know. Fingers crossed tightly for improvements for us all. Hubble that's not good. I got counselling and whilst it didn't really help with the main problem- non sleeping baby - it was good to have a listening ear. Is there anywhere else you can approach?

[Choccyhobnob]

I’ve just read this entire thread - I have finally found my people! Everything you are saying was/is me. I can’t get anything done ever as he is always on me in the evenings and clinging to my leg during the day. Nobody IRL life understands, they think it’s ridiculous that I used to hold DS from 7pm-7am between the ages of 3-5 months as he just wouldn’t be put down when he was asleep. Now at 14 months they also think it’s ridiculous that DH sleeps in the spare room as he just can’t sleep at all with DS in with me. And I’ve had enough of the advice! Yes thank you I’ve tried formula, cows milk, porridge before bed, banana before bed, CC, nothing fucking works.
DS still wakes and feeds 3 times on a good night, 8-10 on a bad night but mercifully will now sleep next to me in bed in between rather than in my arms all night. The worst part is the fidgeting, he crawls round, flops, headbutts me, latches on and off and scrabbles at me with his hands all fucking night. He finally settled at 6am just as my alarm went off for work.
Those of you thinking you don’t know how you’ll return to work, I thought the same but I’ve actually found it so much easier than being at home full time. I get the commute to myself, get to eat lunch and have a hot drink in peace and it gives me much more patience with DS than I have when I’m at home all the time.
I also seem to have gotten used to the sleep deprivation. For the first 6 months I thought I was going to die but now weirdly I seem to cope fine on only 2-3 hours sleep. I called a sleep consultant in at 5 months as I just couldn’t cope any more but then refused to let him cry like she wanted me to so that was a waste of £200!! The only good thing is that DS wakes frequently but for short periods. The few occasions he has been awake for 1hr plus are the nights that nearly break me so those that do it all the time I really really feel for you.
I think he’s getting a bit better but mainly I’ve just accepted this is who he is and he WILL grow out of it one day. I’ve given up putting him in his cot in the evening; we had managed to get him sleeping in there for 3 or 4 hours at a time after succumbing to CIO when he was 10 months old. He started laying down and going to sleep really easily but then when he woke he was inconsolable and wouldn’t go back in there. The first sleep went from 3-4 hours to 30mins and I couldn’t be fucking bothered anymore. He now falls asleep in my arms and sleeps on the sofa next to me in the evenings.
Sorry this was long I just wanted to let people know you are not alone and if some of you are really really struggling I would look more into counselling or AD’s as it really is the worst form of torture. There is no shame in it. Have some tired hugs xx

[Choccyhobnob]

Oh dear God the paragraphs didn't work, I'm sorry!

[Thehubbleswindscreenwipers]

God yes the head butting and scratching.

He was pulling chunks of my hair out today and scratching my eyes and I just lost it. Just burst into tears and had to put him in the playpen while I cried. I can't stand him hitting/scratching my face. I hate it being touched, or my hair pulled. he smashed his head into my face for hours at night. It's hell. I hate it. I just want to walk out the door and keep going.

[Choccyhobnob]

I've had 2 split lips in the last few weeks because of the headbutting

[Thehubbleswindscreenwipers]

Is there a reason do you think? I'm sure there is something wrong in our case but nothing found ...

[Choccyhobnob]

Nope, I don't think so. He's just a terrible sleeper. He wants to be asleep, he rarely opens his eyes and wants to play, he just doesn't know how to go to sleep, my DH and MIL are the bloody same!

[Thehubbleswindscreenwipers]

My thread got pulled - so I'm going to bow out of this one in case it is too. Apologies if it is, I thought this was somewhere I could turn to for help. Apparently not.
Good luck op and all, I hope your little ones sleep soon.

[Choccyhobnob]

Please keep talking, it helps to know you're not alone xx

[rebeccahazel]

Hubbles are you ok? What thread got pulled? Worried about you.