Every night feels likes a lifetime

[ThursdayLastWeek]

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

I think I'm at breaking point. He had his usual 2x40 min naps, 1x30 min nap and finally went to bed late at 8:15. Was then up 10:30-12:15, 1-1:45, 4-4:30 then up for the day at 6. So less than 9 hours sleep in the last 24...
He's got a bit of a cold now. I'm hoping it's that. Please be that. I can't do this much longer.

Oh user 1471. So sorry you had such a rough night. Mine wasn't much better but I have to admit that was at least half my fault as for some reason I just couldn't get to sleep quick enough. So by the time I was dozing off, baby was waking up. He then decided to wake for the day at 4.30. Think I got about 3 hours sleep. Not a happy bunny. Plus I have his cold.
He's going to need a nap soon.

Oh that's awful, both of you :(

How does your dh support you? He really needs to be making sure you have a block of sleep each night - could you go to bed early and do the after 1am shift and he takes him till then? It's made a huge difference to us. I just was on the verge of breaking after months of trying to do it all. We decided that we couldn't make him sleep so we just had to figure out coping mechanisms.

We do turn about but it's just so stressful anyway. I am an incredibly light sleeper so wake up all the time he's up regardless. Plus it's so unrelenting, I just can't relax, even when it's my night off. I hate it when my husband is away for conferences. We give each other a lie in each at the weekend but I just remember doing this until aged 3 with our eldest and it's just horrendous. I can't do another 2.5 years, I really can't.

I am a really light sleeper too - he has to take him downstairs, all doors shut and earplugs in or I'm just lying there stressed and tense. Can you escape to another part of the house? It's the only way I can rest. We are lucky to have quite thick walls.
I really identify with that constant feeling of 'unrelentingness' - to me that is the worst thing - just the inability to switch off. I'm quite introverted and I need that alone quiet time or I suffer.
No easy answers (or I'd be a millionaire...)

Also a light sleeper and I have trouble sleeping because a part of me is on alert just waiting for him to wake up.
My OH has offered to help but when I tried to move back in our bedroom and we did exactly as you suggest Hubble, baby just cried and he struggled to settle him (plus OH decided it would be a good idea to change his nappy when it didn't really need doing, woke him right up) so I had to take over anyway. Well maybe I didn't have to but our cottage is small and I couldn't just lay there listening to the yelling.
OH will be helping more with the sleep training (if he can stick to it and do it right, he's a softy and will hate to hear him cry). I think we are going to try pick up, put down as OH won't do controlled crying. All once we get over our colds.
I did get another broken hour with baby napping on me at 7. At least it was something.
I was hoping to have another baby at some point but heaven only knows how I would manage with more than 1.

Oh I know ... how I'd cope with two I have no idea. I bet i get twins next time

With us, I basically had a breakdown one night and was in such a state that dh said he was taking ds for the rest of the night no matter what. And ds howled and I cried and it was just horrendous. But after a couple of nights ds actually started falling asleep on him (lie down, put baby on dh's chest) - not at first but if I'd fed him and he wasn't hungry etc.
nothing we have done has worked fast :( any improvements have been tiny and slow and probably more down to ds just growing and developing anyway.
For the last three days he's had no milk overnight - that's a massive deal for us and I'm hoping it's the start of him sleeping better. But it may just be another blip. He still wakes a dozen times a night.

Good luck for tonight. Having a cold as well is rotten

Thanks Hubble. It's always good to hear other people's experiences.
OH kept saying it would be nice if it were twins, when I was pregnant with this one. My response was ' no it bloody wouldn't '! A girl I worked with had twins and I've no idea how she didn't have a nervous breakdown before she even gave birth.
Hope everyone has a better night tonight (crosses fingers and touches wood).

Good luck tonight everyone!

I survived last night by co-sleeping and feeding every two hours. Not ideal but much less stressful all round.

DS went from being on all fours to sitting up today (though I didn't not witness the actual event) so I'm hoping some sort of movement breakthrough is imminent. Maybe...just maybe...he'll wear himself out then???

Hopeful emoticon.

Shit again. A half hour nap and 45 min one during the day clearly not tired after 6 hours broken sleep! Fell asleep 6:15, then up at 10, half 12, 2 and 4 for between 30 - 90 mins each time (still trying to settle from up at 4). Each time just happily awake -WTAF is happening?! How is he not tired??? He has a cold but that doesn't really seem to be bothering him - he's shrieking with excitement and babbling away, crying when no one comes...
I wish he was waking for something - that I could deal with...not just because after a 4 hour block he's awake enough to want to get up every 30 mins - 1 hour later for about an hour...

Well got him to sleep at 5:15...guess who's up for the day!!!! So that's 6 hours overnight sleep at 1hr 15 of naps in the last 24...fanfuckingtastic.

And that was meant to be posted after a half hour nap - so really he got up at 4. Was too busy crying my fucking eyes out to post properly.

Oh 1471 I've nothing but sympathy - it's so so exhausting and draining. you poor thing. I wish I could take him off your hands for an hour so you could get some kip (alas I'm not in the uk.)
It kind of sounds like he's got his days and nights mixed up doesn't it?

Unfortunately with a 30 min morning nap and 45 min afternoon nap I don't think that's it. I've been in tears most of today. My health visitor suggested controlled crying. I need to change something - I can't teach in this state. My head hurts, my eyes hurt.

Aww user1471. It makes me think mine isn't quite so bad when I read your posts. I'm not surprised you were crying, I would be too. If you were near Cornwall I'd gladly take him for a bit and let you sleep. Our babies could be snotty together.
Mine is currently asleep on me. I was an evil, evil mother and dared to clean the dried snot blocking his nose with a baby wipe. 25 mins of screaming later and he finally conked out.
He slept the same as usual last night. Awake at around 4.45 up for the day at 5.30. Must have got around 5 hrs sleep though. Bonus! Better than Sunday night.
I wish there was more we could do for each other. A lot of us seem to lack those family support networks that people had years ago. My sister would gladly help me (as I would her) but she lives miles away. My mum is the only family down here and she is lovely but not really up to taking the baby for any length of time.
for you all.

Imso your evil mother trope made me laugh, thanks for that. I feel so lost. The shit has also really hit the fan as 7 year old is off for half term, has caught baby's cold and it's triggered his viral induced asthma. I've just had to give him his 4th lot of salbutamol since midnight so now we have triggered his asthma plan (meaning trip to hospital for monitoring and O2 along with liquid steroids). I'm just downing some coffee in the hope I can drive safely to hospital. DH is conference so has phone off. So off to the children's ward I go with poorly cuddly DS1 and out-the-fucking-box DS2.

Oh no. I hope it went ok at the hospital User1471 and that you managed to get hold of your DH. I hope he takes/took over at the hospital so you could get home with DS2. I'm just about to put the small snotty one in his cot. He slept for a couple of hours earlier, after his yelling. I should have just woken him sooner I guess. It meant he didn't have an afternoon nap and was grumpy. I shall know better next time.

OH no ... hope they get him stabilised poor little thing. This time of year is bad for athsma - weather cooling and colds starting to go around

Hope everyone has a good night. We are on wakeup no. 3 already so not looking good.

Also our neighbour has decided to do something noisy with floodlights - I am justified in going and accidentally knocking him into the trench he's dug, right?

You are Hubble. I hope he stopped at a reasonable time.
I've just had a bit over 2 hrs sleep in a row. Feels like a small miracle. I don't expect it to be repeated tonight but I'm still grateful for it. I never thought I'd be saying that, before I had a baby.

Oh Hubble, no court would convict you if you did...hope the night got better.
Imso hopefully things start improving.
Thanks for the well wishes, we were only in hospital 1 hour! His sat levels were above the magical 92 for once and so we got to go home with good 'ole prednisolone and some amoxicilin. Prednisolone makes him starving, so although he didn't eat much yesterday I expect him to eat like a horse today. DH and I also realised he's not been hospitalised since last summer - great progress. Hopefully also as DS2 has already shaken off the cold it would seem (touching every wooden surface) he doesn't have it. Which would be fantastic, DS1 regularly needed an ambulance as a baby and the nights we would spend holding him in shifts watching for his wheeze to call an ambulance is an experience I would never want to repeat.

Well in terms of sleep DS2 only got up twice! And only half an hour a piece! Went to bed at 6:30, up at 8, then 1 then up for the day at 5:45! Long may it continue!

Yay. So pleased for you User1471. We had a slightly better night too. Yes he still woke a lot but it was still a hell of a lot better than he has been.
Long may it continue indeed.
Good news about DS2 not having asthma.

I'm still here friends! My iPad is mucking me about when I try to write longer messages, I'm sorry if it seems I e disappeared.

I'll try to catch up properly!

Glad you both had better nights. Ours was not good... constant wailing. Hoping today is better.

I did wonder where you went Thursday.
Hope is what keeps us going Hubble. Sorry to hear you had to deal with screaming.

Tonight turns out not to be better... he's awake. Again.

Damn, I was really getting my hopes up after he had three good nights in a row