Every night feels likes a lifetime

[ThursdayLastWeek]

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

Oh hubble you poor thing? I suppose it's too late to call off the visit? Practise nodding and smiling and not giving any fucks. Remember that theyre the ones with the problem - no manners!

Also Youre not a failure, it's them (children), not us

We had an annoying night. DS took ages to settle after his 11pm feed. Then woke again at 3, fed and settled quickly. Then at 4.30am the shit hit the fan and he was screaming and screaming and screaming. Awful morning, sad little hot thing, didn't nap in the car or pushchair while out.

Has now been asleep oir approaching 3hrs though, can't say I'm surprised. Needed more calpol for his temp though

Horrific buggers

No can't be called off... I'll just end up cleaning till 3am like last time...

Ds annoyed all day... on my knees already and still hours to go before dh gets home :(

How nice to have a break user1471. Glad you managed to make the most of it. I did get some pruning done but it pushed bottle time back and meant I had a screaming baby. It's so hard to find the time to do things isn't it. I had a choice of vac or prepare nice dinner this morning and I chose dinner . I might vac tomorrow if the boy is equally well behaved.

Sorry the baby has been screaming and you are struggling with the housework Hubble. That sounds stressful. It doesn't sound like you are looking forward to your visitors. I hope it all goes better than you expect and baby calms down. We are on 3rd nap of the day. Much better timing than yesterday. The only reason he sleeps this well in the day is cos he sleeps on me. Going to start pupd with him for nap time next week so I'm sure i shall be pulling my hair out by then.

How do people Get Stuff Done with a baby in tow? I can't garden - I put him in his pushchair and bring him out and he's screaming in two minutes. I can't do housework because I can't put him down without him screaming/climbing my legs... how do people manage?

And good you had a break , user... must feel good

I use a variety of tricks with ds- high chair and snacks works well, but they have to be interesting ones! An almost empty yoghurt pot and spoon is his current decoy and it means I can do the dishwasher or quickly make food for the rest of us. If I need to do things outside, a bowl of water and some cups also keeps him busy. Kitchen pots and pans etc also good. He is a bit older than your babies though. Also, massively lowering domestic standards, batch cooking, or just accepting that you do things with a soundtrack of screaming . (I know this isn't helpful really). I think when you have a high needs baby and you're exhausted you need to cut yourself some slack. We are not wonder-woman

Have you got a jumparoo Hubble? I find the jumparoo can occupy him for short bursts. Or highchair and finger food.
Also I think guests have to be understanding or they can quite frankly piss off. They will surely see how tricky you have it this weekend. We have friends staying this weekend (on blow up bed in living room) but understand that I won't be able to keep baby upstairs past 6.

We do have a jumperoo (the 'chair of neglect') and he has loved it but he's a bit old for it now.
Highchair and food will only occupy him for a very short while - he's not a great eater and tends to fling most of it.
Will definitely try pots and pans he was diverted by a whisk today for a few minutes.

He's only had half an hour sleep today poor little chap... hoping he conks out now and sleeps. Just had a nice relaxing bath interrupted by an unexpected noise (nothing loud) leading to meltdown- he is so sensitive to sounds it's crazy.

Wishing everyone a good night

TBH hubble it really just depends in the child, especially at this young age. I can get on with stuff as DS is quite an amenable little chap in the daytime. He also naps fairly reliably now too. And when push cones to shove, my DH works from home and has to hold him if i have somethu g that needs to be done.

But i also have friends who literally can't do anything. If I was in their shoes I'd be looking at nursery!
There's no shame in taking a break from your kid.

We've been in the queue for nursery since the day he was born....he's one and we still don't have a place :(
They say they will let us know where we have been allocated in November but it could be miles away. Not in the uk (Stalinist Sweden...)
I'm dreading going back to work - driving miles twice a day through metres of snow to get to nursery is going to suck. There are two within walking distance but they have hundreds in the queue to get in.

Urgh. All I do these days is moan. Ds awake again, Dh is seeing to him.

It's only in the last few months I've been able to 'do stuff'. A second hand baby gym and jumperoo have been godsends but to be honest he's happier in the high chair with his music (thank god for YouTube) or an episode of 'hey Duggee ' plus snacks or a stack of chewable toys. I can't have him sitting in the push chair for any length of time or he yells. He likes to be on the move. Heaven help me when he's walking. Even so this only gives me about an hour a day to do chores because he will still only nap in the pram, on the move or on me.
They all have their quirks, don't they!

Oh Hubble you have my sympathy. My eldest was like that (now a wonderful 7 year old). I remember we tried a childminder thinking that he'd get more 1-1 time and after the first week she refused to have him back, stating that he didn't sleep, wouldn't be put down and seemed very grumpy most of the time (yup). He then went to nursery who said that he was 'high maintenance' and that they were sure that 'one say he will be so rewarding!'
DS2 isn't quite in the same league, but similar. The childminder asked me on pick up whether he is usually quite 'keen on attention and stimulation' (yup). Wee bugger slept for an hour with her though! He has had lots to eat today so hoping that tonight will be ok...

Well nope - only 2 get ups but was up between 1 and 2 and then 4 and 5:30. Got up at 6. Sick of this.

Slightly better night. Yay. 6 wake ups and fully awake (rather than wriggling on me and feeding every 20 mins) at 6. I feel very tired but not quite so Zombie like.
I was in the process of getting him to nap but he seems to have woken himself up. He's now in the cot with lullabies and mobile going, kicking, playing with his toy donkey and making excited noises.
I know he's tired, he was fussy and yawning a moment ago.

User1471, it's horrible isn't it when they take so long to get back to sleep isn't it. By the time you get back to bed you are shattered but wide awake. I had an hour of it last night. Ah well, I keep telling myself it has to get better at some point.

It will get better ... but that doesn't really help now does it? And everything looks worse through the lens of sleep deprivation. I find after a bad night I'm not as good at coping with minor irritants like four hours of solid screaming... it's very tough. the wriggling and feeding is exhausting

Ds is definitely going through one of those periods where their sleep patterns change. Hoping things will change for the better rather than to just another kind of awful like before.
The things that have helped us (although they are no magic bullets, it's all just been small helps) are:

Dh taking him when he wakes. If he sees or knows I'm in the room, he wants milk.
Dh taking him into the spare bed at night so he has comfort but no milk.

He went all night with no milk last night which is the first time ever. Really pleased with that. Hoping he will stop waking to be fed. We have of course tried for months to stop feeding him at night but he wouldn't settle without it.

It's difficult isn't it when comfort and food are so intertwined? It feels unrelenting. I know it's only sentiment, but they really really do grow out of it. I promise.
I am s terrible insomniac since having my two and I think I just need less sleep as I get older. I'm terribly affected by negative thinking so if I go up to bed thinking 'i'll never sleep because of x,y,z' then it's like a switch flicks in my head. I wish I felt as wide awake at 3pm as I do at 3am!! I find kalms tablets help me drift off back to sleep, nytol are too powerful and leave me groggy the next day but I find the kalms just enough for me to switch off when I'm feeling wired

That's a positive step Hubble, fingers crossed he stops waking for food.
Imso that night sounds awful. I can't imagine that many wake ups and prolonged wakefulness. I hate the uncertainty - I just want a pattern so I can get back to sleep rather than watch the clock getting closer and closer to morning.

Last night was odd in that it was playful wakefulness - he didn't seem to want anything. Didn't want bf and only took 4 ounces between both wake ups. He's just having his first nap now. I've been keeping a diary of sleep and he only has 11-12 hours sleep over 24 hours - apparently it should be more like 14-15

Hello all.. can I gatecrash?!

I have a 9mo DS with a hideous sleep allergy. He can sleep through, he has done a handful of times, but is generally awful. Last night for example he slept until 10.30pm then was up up up constantly - he needs rocking to sleep still but every time we put him down he woke within 10mins. He must have had a 1hr stretch but that was when DH took him downstairs & let him sleep on him.

It's the complete unpredictability that's driving me crazy. There's just no pattern to how often or when he wakes up. Sometimes he's up from 1-3am. Sometimes every 90mins all night. Sometimes once, occasionally not at all. And always up for the day before 6.

It's always been bad but I thought it'd be better by now. I'm so tired!

Mine wakes quickly too ...

None of this has helped us but for a quick waker you need to get physical stuff checked (ear infections, reflux etc.)

Is he breastfed? Does he feed at night?

Not breastfed any more (was until 6 mo) & doesn't feed at night any more either (eats loads in the day). He only woke quickly last night, usually he sleeps for longer stretches but still up multiple times. If this carries on I'll get his ears checked though, thanks!

Ok well as a one off maybe he just had a bad night :) definitely worth a good physical checkup though. From my extensive dealings with a short sleeper it seems that if they wake at every cycle it's a 'can't get back to sleep' issue and if it's half an hour or less it could be physical discomfort

I know telling yourself things will get better doesn't always help (that's where the swearing comes in ) but sometimes it helps me a bit.
I can cope with it, even if it makes me a grumpy cow but I do worry about when I go back to work.
Welcome Tangerine, we feel your pain. I can imagine the unpredictability must be very annoying. I can also imagine that even when you get a chance to sleep, it's tricky because you are expecting he may wake soon. Hard to relax then, isn't it?
Hubble, I totally understand the feeding at night to settle. I can sometimes jiggle him back to sleep but more often than not he wants boob, whether that's actually to feed or for comfort I'm not always sure.
I hope the not feeding at night continues for you.

Oh dear, I have a snotty baby! Tonight isn't going to go well, is it?

Oh bugger... we've had The Sniffles for a week now (absolutely astounding how much snot can come out of such a small creature.) he's been quite subdued and actually slept a little better if anything.

Hope you have an ok night!