PUPD success stories/advice please!

[Huishnish]

My ds2 who is 5 months has suddenly started sleeping horribly, I mean waking every 1.5 hours, won't be put down in his cot, and usually is awake from 1:30am to 4:30. I'm trying to cope with him and his brother (just turned 2) on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night. So... Thought I would try pupd. He's ebf and has always fed to sleep which was working brilliantly until last week. Would love to hear any stories from people who've tried it and any golden nuggets of advice! He is a great character and v strong willed so I'm not expecting it to be easy... TIA

Oh no huish so sorry you are feeling like that. I can't remember how old he is. Perhaps teeth are the issue? Can't remember how old your DS is now but mine is just dropping a nap and I'm finding that problematic. What helped with my DS - he was poorly and didn't sleep over Christmas and therefore v overtired was to give him really good naps in the day, to build up his sleep (he napped on me which was lovely and a good excuse to do this!) and then he slept better at night. Maybe that'll help? Or can DH help? I really feel for you.

Ace news style - is it still going? Here for no reason we had an amazing night last night, and a great nap this morning. No idea why. Recently mornings have been getting earlier (4:10am my particular favourite!) but for some reason he's gone back to nearer to 6am. ODD!

huish I'm so sorry it's proving so tricky. Do you think it's coincided with a developmental leap? Was routine particularly disturbed over Christmas and New Year? Sometimes it can take a long time to recover from a change of routine like that.

I typed a long reply the other day and lost it. I spoke too soon of course and things have been dreadful since the night DD slept through. She's been up and down and we've had someone staying for a few nights so we've had to move the cot back into our room. She ended up in our bed a few nights ago as I couldn't get her to settle. Naps have gone to pieces too. Every time I put her down she screams the place down, if I do a bit of CC, she sometimes settles and then naps fitfully, crying every so often. It's really upsetting to hear and to go through. I'm exhausted and really really struggling. I desperately need her to sleep and I'm really thinking about whacking a sleep consultant on my credit card 💳

Hi both, thanks for the kind words. Style I'm really sorry you're having such a tough time. We are going through the same thing- so much crying, I can't bear it. Every time I put him down for a nap or at night, then have to resettle him half way through the nap- if I'm lucky, sometimes he can't be resettled. Then this 2 hour patch during the night. Last night I was so desperate I actually left him to cry for half an hour. Awful. I never ever thought I'd do that but nothing I do seems to help. Style I have been wondering the same about a sleep consultant. I just feel like I can't go on like this. I have to get something sorted out before the beginning of march when I have to go away for work... do you think it makes a big difference getting up at the same time every day? Sometimes when he's had a bad night he'll sleep in until 7:30 or 8 which makes a big difference but maybe I should be getting him up at 6:30 every day. Also, what about naps during the day? I'm starting to wonder if maybe a short nap on the morning is better 20-30 mins only then a long nap after lunch. I had been leaving him to nap as long as he liked in the morning. Argh don't know!! I certainly think it is a developmental thing. He is crazy for standing up, was sitting in his brothers cot this morning and pulled up on the bars to standing. He's also much more grumpy than normal, with a real temper when he doesn't get up so what he wants! I wish he'd just do some tummy time and get crawling but as soon as I put him down on his tummy he gets upset. Another thing that seemed to be helping when he was sleeping better was that he'd roll onto his front as soon as I put him down, which he's stopped doing. If I put him down on his front he sleeps much better but I still feel nervous doing that, even though he was rolling himself. And he's almost 9 months.. what do you think? Ok sorry for the long ramble... that's it for now! Good luck xx

Shit typos....

Oh you poor poor thing ☹️

I do think getting up the same time every day helps but don't think it would have to be at 6:30, unless that's got to be the getting up time for when you're at work?

I feel a fraud to offer opinions when I'm making such a mess myself but I do think he's big enough now to sleep on his front if he was better that way. He can turn himself back if he doesn't like it but he might and then you're into a winner!

Keep going is the only thing I can say, it will eventually improve you know that. It just stinks when you're going through it.

We were out for dinner tonight so I'm feeding now later than usual. We've been getting a wake up around 10pm and I can't manage jiggling her about til 2am as I have been doing so I've given a 10min feed and then she's slept until 3 or 4 but it's still 4 feeds if you count bed time and waking up feed. I have been trying to get DD to take a bottle or a sippy cup in an attempt to get dropping some feeds. I think it's the only way to cut ties to breastfeeding during the night and get the message that it's time to sleep.

Thanks style. So are you feeding her at 10 and 4? Think I'll try that tonight, feeding him as soon as he wakes rather than trying to settle him other ways. We had a terrible bedtime. That's the one time he's normally not too bad going down but tonight he cried for 45 mins before falling asleep. I had to get ds1 into bed so had to leave him while I did that (DH working tonight) then went in a couple of times to him and popped him onto his front. I also need to get him drinking from a bottle/sippy cup before I go away, will get onto that tomorrow I think. I've also started feeding him before his bath, also hoping to break the breastfeeding sleep thing. Ok off to bed now, hope you have a better night x

Yes, given up trying to settle without the feed, just too tired. Funnily enough it's sort of a better night except that she always wakes just as I'm going to bed so I'm still feeling wrecked. So it's somewhere between 9 and 11 that she wakes usually and then between 3 and 4am. The last three days I've given her formula from a sippy cup when she wakes in the morning, which she hardly drinks any of but I figure she will when she gets her head around it. It's the only thing I can think of to break the cycle. Now I'm worried she's not drinking enough!

How did it go last night?

Hi style, that's funny my ds does the same, he has a way of sensing when I've been asleep for about 15 mins and wakes up then

Last night was brilliant compared to normal, he woke about 11:30, had a feed, then up for the day at 5:45. I feel amazing today having had 5 hours sleep in a row. The most for months. He's just been screaming having woken up after half an hour from his nap and I just couldn't settle him. Feel sure by this age ds1 was having fairly reliable naps but ds2 is all over the place. Yesterday I had to wake him after 2 1/2 hours! Are you doing 2 naps in the day?

I;m so sorry you guys are having a hard time. I have no idea how I'd cope with another one. It's crazy. DS was up at 10pm last night and I snuggled him back to sleep (I know, I know, but it's a guilty pleasure!) and then awake at 4am for an hour, and then up at 6am. I'm just about to wake him from a 2 hour nap - started in the car and then transferred into thehouse. So odd. I have no idea why he napped for literally 10 minutes this morning and then an epic one now, and now I'm worried he won't be sleepy for bed time! ARGH.
What's your nap plan like?
Good luck tonight ladies xx

These babies! They sort one thing and then something else changes!

I was just thinking whether mine sleeps better at night when she's had less day time sleep and is just plain old exhausted. But I don't think it's rational to expect an 8 month old to have one nap, she can't keep her eyes open by 9am and to go from then until 7pm ish on one short nap doesn't seem right. Mine have all kept two naps up until 18 months or so and then dropped to one, losing both naps just as the next baby arrives and you'd poke your eyes out to get both napping at the same time 😂

I stayed up late tonight to watch Sherlock and now I've gone to bed and DD has been remarkably good this evening, no wake ups or little crying patches but I just know she's going to wake up as I drift off, she keeeps stirring. Haven't moved the cot back into her room yet now the guests have left. MUST do it tomorrow!!

Aaaand she's awake...

Oh man, style how was the rest of the night? You did jinx it! Another happy evening for me but again an early morning, and two rubbishy naps. One 20 minutes in the morning and then an hour this afternoon. I think two naps is right and the timing seems to be right, I just need to lengthen them. And then get him to wake up an hour later in the morning. Then life would be perfect haha. Any ideas on how to lengthen naps? He goes off nicely now in the cot or the car. Not in the pushchair though. Hahaha I live for nap time, short as they are! Seriously, I have no idea how anyone has the energy to make another baby!!!!

Hi both, just wondered how you're going? Hope you're getting a bit more sleep style. Macca any luck with the naps? I wonder if that is a developmental thing? I can remember with ds1 reaching an age (can't remember when exactly) when naps started being a reliable length. Heaven!

We have had the worst couple of weeks sleeping was. Ds2 has had a horrible cough, have been using an inhaler to help but he really has been v poorly. So of course sleep went completely out the window. I wS down to 3-4 broken hours a night, having to feed then cuddle to sleep many times a night. Very tough and I was starting to reach breaking point. Naps also became nonexistent. So.. we tried controlled crying and even a bit of cry it out but I just couldn't see it through. He just cries for so long So I decided to try gradual retreat. Do you guys know that thread 'what worked for us'?? Started 2 nights ago. The first night I sat beside his cot trying to se him for 2 hours 20 minutes. Awful. But.. he then slept until 8am. Last night was amazing, he didn't wake up until 3am, then fed him and comforted him until 4:15 when he fell asleep again then had to waked him at 8am! Unbelievable. And today he went down for his nap without a squeak and I had to wakenhim after 2 hours. I can't believe how well it's worked probably jinxing tonight by writing this The other thing I've been doing is putting him down on his front right away which seems to make a huge difference. I have my fingers fully crossed that we carry on like this. That technique does seem to be like magic though. I guess it is a bit like cry it out in that you don't take them out of the cot, but I've been able to see it through because I didn't have to leave his side. There's no way I'd have managed to leave him for more than 2 hours otherwise!

Well, sending big hopes that sleeping is happening in the macca and style houses and that it carries on in the huish house

Omg sorry for my typos

Yep, jinxed it as expected... cutrently in his room trying to settle him after he woke up at 9:45...

Oh no huish. How did the rest of the night going? We are ok for nights now, we had a few iffy nights as he was rolling onto his front and then not liking that (!). Now he's wedged in with towels so he doesn't roll as easily.
Naps aren't great. They are max 30 minutes each in the cot - but he does need is as if I take him out and cuddle him after that, he sleeps for another hour. So I thought about doing cc to extend the nap, but he gets so worked up.

Any other ideas? I haven't really read much about gradual retreat. How does it work? It sounds like it's working for you - I really hope so!

xx