PUPD success stories/advice please!

[Huishnish]

My ds2 who is 5 months has suddenly started sleeping horribly, I mean waking every 1.5 hours, won't be put down in his cot, and usually is awake from 1:30am to 4:30. I'm trying to cope with him and his brother (just turned 2) on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night. So... Thought I would try pupd. He's ebf and has always fed to sleep which was working brilliantly until last week. Would love to hear any stories from people who've tried it and any golden nuggets of advice! He is a great character and v strong willed so I'm not expecting it to be easy... TIA

Hey guys. macca that sounds great, well done! Hope it continues well for you!

huish it's a tricky one with return to work and feeding for comfort at night. If it were me I'd be tempted to continue a bit longer until he knows you haven't left him and then fade them out over quite a short spell. But that's just me!

We have had an awful week, DD's cold has had huge impact on her sleep and DD3 has been in and out of our bed kicking me and coughing and sniffing and crying. I don't know how anyone co-sleeps as the norm. My back is killing me and I've had max 2hrs a night all week! Funnily enough, the cold is improving now for DD and she's done better the last 2 nights with only one wake up at round 3am. So I will be interested to see if when everyone is better we have an actual improvement.

Great news macca really so pleased for you! style sorry to hear your week's been rotten, but good news that dd is only waking once, that's brilliant. I would be overjoyed if I could get to that place...

I think you may be right about waiting a while. I've got my last day before Xmas on Tuesday so I'll wait until December to do anything radical. Might try to just delay feeding a bit with a cuddle each time he wakens. It really has got so bad, he's often up at 8 having only gone down at 7 so it can only get better. This is the kid who was sleeping through occasionally at 3 months!

style when you say fade out do you mean reducing the time on each side? macca could I ask you what you did for the controlled crying? if you've got the energy to write it down! Would be really interested to know how long it took to see an improvement too. I guess I could try pupd again... but unsure at what point I do feed him as opposed to just comforting him. Thanks all!

huish, yes a fairly quick reduction in the time per side. With DD3 I cut them really quickly down as she was 10m and huge! I had to set a timer on my phone so I didn't fall asleep and swap sides on the button. But it worked very quickly. I forget how old your DS is?

Our evenings have been bad with finishing bed time feed around 7 and DD waking up again half an hour later, then up and down all evening til I cave around 11 and feed. But tonight she must be feeling better as she's slept 'normally', whatever that is, not woken up anyway. See how long she goes...

And miracle of miracles, DD3 must be feeling a bit better as she is also still asleep...

Of course... although note the time I'm writing this (and it's not because I've been on a night out!).

Argh again posted too soon. Sorry.
I started on Wednesday eve so this is night five. The improvement was straight away.
Basically I did bedtime routine (tea, milk feed, bath) until the point I would normally sing to sleep. Then I cuddled him (for longer than I should have haha) put him down in the cot and said things along the lines of "you're going to sleep", "it's ok", etc. I also have to say "I love you".
I then left him. He didn't cry straight away, but it only took a few minutes for him to start. I left him for increasing intervals ( 1, 2, 4, 7 and 10 minutes). When I went in to see him I stroked his face, repeated what I said initially and left. I was with him for under a minute each time. It had little effect. The first night he took about an hour to get to sleep, the second (and subsequent) nights around half an hour. The improvement has been in the length of sleep - the first night he woke up twice, and since then it's just been once a night. I do the same pattern (starting at 1 minute) during the night too. That has been exhausting because it means you properly wake up, rather than staying in the dark but it's so worth it.
Last night I increased the intervals because my presence (or rather my leaving the room) wound him up and he wasn't able to calm down sufficiently within the next interval. That seemed to work well.
I'll be honest, it hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped for getting to sleep, but for staying asleep (he did an 8 hour stretch!) it's been amazing. He's so much happier (he was always happy but now he's a giggle monster) that to me it's worth it.
The first night was hard but since I've seen the improvement it's been a lot easier.
I thought I'd do it for naps too, to be consistent. I've given up on that - I thought it was too much crying after we had an hour for a 15 minute nap. I thought I'd try to help him sleep at night better and then daytimes would follow, and perhaps I'd be better at reading his sleep signals.
That said, he fell asleep in the car within seconds (v unusual for him) on a journey once and continued for 2 hours - even after I brought him into the house in the car seat. So a huge improvement there.

Sorry I meant to say. I had a rule that after 2am I could feed. I haven't done a night feed since I started as he's swftrled back to sleep each time. The first couple of nights he woke just after 5am, which I thought would do. I fed but I made sure that was morning time, ie turned on all the lights, got him dressed etc. and since he's been waking at around 6/ half 6 with no nihhtnfeed. I have had to pump in the night too (but that milk is for the prem babies at our local hospital ).
The first couple of nights he was awake up to an hour at a time (start at the weekend) but tonight it was just 18 mins. The strength/hysterical-ness of crying has reduced too - the first night he made himself sick (eurgh that made it hard for me to continue) but hasn't done that since.
Naps are now a decent length (admittedly in the car or he carrier), but even on those they weren't long previously so there is definitely an improvement. Hope that helps!
Style - are things better now you're all well? Hope so

Finally from me. I just woke him up checking on him (idiot! ) but he went back to sleep in 10 minutes, not crying just making a creaky door noise. Amazing!

Thanks both. style glad you had a better night. My ds2 has been doing the waking up in the evening thing too, fingers crossed he is better this evening as I'm at work so there will be no boob forthcoming!

macca thank you so much for writing all your experience. Really useful and interesting. I'm so glad you've had such a improvement.

We are getting worse and worse, up every 2 hours last night. So... it's my last day of work today for a while so Thursday night I'm going to start taking some action. Will go for trying to settle without feeding I think. With ds1 we did this- 20 mins of trying then if he was still awake I'd feed. After 3 nights he slept through. I always wonder if ds2 will just think it's worth crying for 20 mins as he then gets fed! But I think it's worth a try. Will give it 3 nights and then will try something a bit more hard core if we don't have some improvement.

Just to really top everything off ds1 has developed a terrible stutter in the last couple of weeks. So worried about him...

Fingers crossed for some sleeping all round tonight x

Hi guys, how's it going for you both?

Just popping in to say that after the worst spell of health between all the kids for the last six weeks or so I am at the end of my coping abilities! I'm going to sleep train while the office is closed for Christmas and dh won't be too disturbed. DD Is up on average three times a night plus the bed time feed and the waking up feed IYSWIM, so I am wrecked all round. Her naps are great now which is something but as everyone else is awake I can't catch up when she sleeps and it's reached a point where I am so unpleasant I can't carry on 😳 I'm hoping 10 days is enough to make a difference.

We have people staying over this week so having to suck up the night feeds and DD also has three teeth pushing very hard to come out so I'm hoping if they appear in the next few weeks that might also help.

Hi style so sorry you're having a rotten time. You must be completely exhausted. I feel for you.

We were in exactly the same situation. Ds2 was getting up more and more often as time went on until he was up every 2 hours or so, plus not really settling back after feeds. It took us I think 6 nights to turn things round. DH really stepped up and spent hours trying to settle him during the night. We decided we weren't going to feed him before a certain time (can't remember- think it might have been 2am randomly), never left him to cry but really stuck to our guns with the feeding rules. First few nights he got through until 4 ish before I fed him but then settled into a pattern of waking about 2am for a feed then back to sleep until 6 ish. Not perfect but WAY better than he's been. Once I've recovered a bit I think I'll try to wean him off that last feed as he is so boob addicted I think more feeds will creep back in! He eats like a horse during the day but doesn't have as much milk as I'd like, 2 big feeds morning and evening and 2 half feeds mid morning and afternoon.

What are you planing to do sleep training wise? We are still so hit and miss, I usually get into bed in trepidation, not knowing when I'm likely to be up again!

macca how are you going? Has your cc worked in the medium term?

Ps my ds2 has just started sleeping most of the time on his front which seems to have really helped. Like your dd his naps are mostly really good now although of course I worry now he's getting too much daytime sleep

He's also just got his first teeth through so hoping now we have a quieter period!

Hi huish, so glad things are improved for you! Great! It definitely takes both of you doesn't it. Even a few nights of doing it alone is just torture.

DH had been so busy that he's slept in with DD3 a few nights to get some kip as she has a single with a pull out to make it into a double. But we've agreed to tackle DD4 over Christmas.

In the lead up I'm limiting the bed time feed to half an hour and any night feeds to ten mins a side. That was the plan anyway but two nights ago DD woke a record nine times plus needed resettling after two of them. Last night she woke after two hours, then an hour later and wouldn't go back down. So I brought her in with me and sushed her back to sleep every time she cried. Managed like this until 2am when she wasn't happy so I fed her and then put her back in her cot. But she still woke another two times before getting up for the day. We've got people staying with us this week and they need to leave early for work so I haven't dared let her cry in the night, so guess I've made a rod for my own back. They've gone home tonight so hoping for a slightly better night.

Argh these kids are pushing us to the limit (just watching masterchef ). We had a horrible night again last night, he was awake 12:30-2:30 crying like mad, just could not settle him. I know the teeth are still coming, just don't know what to do to help him. Hard going. Shouted at his brother this morning as I'm so knackered Like you we have people here for the weekend so I'll be feeding right away tonight. Good luck, it's so tough. A few times I got into bed last night and just would have given anything to stay there...

DH has bowed out again as he's busy at work, I think the wee ones just want to be fed if we go in during the night. Omg hope things improve for us both very soon... to you x

Oh goodness, you sound like you're having a tough time! :o( CC really worked for us - DS will now sleep from around 7pm ish until 5am ish. He might wake for 10 mins once or twice during the night, but I listen to him, andd generally he just chatters to himself - no crying - and then goes back to sleep. Quite sweet really. So overall, I have absolutely reduced his crying. I'm so pleased because the CC was so so so brutal and upsetting, but it was totally worthwhile. He does still cry to sleep at night - but it only takes about 10 minutes and also is more of a whinge/chatter - definitelyl no tears and definitely not hysterical. I would love that to change to peacefully go to sleep, (I'd swap it for a night wakening!) but I guess you can't have everything. We had a wobble when he was poorly, and we have been away too but otherwise he's been fabulous. I'd totally recommend it, but you have to be pretty strong (or get your DH to do it ha). I'm with you though, I couldn't do it if we had people staying. It seems mean on them and also I'd be worried about being judged (I'm sure they wouldn't but you know!). Naps are v hit and miss. I have gone back to naps in the sling which is hard work! But he naps so well it's worth it - I couldn't do CC for naps too - that seemed too cruel. How was last night for you both? x

Ummmm that manic smiley face wasn't meant to be smiley - sorry!!!!!

Pheeeeew, started a bit of bedtime strictness as I've really really hurt my back and can't sit up to feed in the night. DD woke up around midnight two nights on the trot and then the rest of the night had some crying and whinging on and off for a while but I've had to leave her. She wasn't wailing just making noises and she eventually went back to sleep. So two nights of that now. I'm going to keep going with that and see if she will start sleeping through. Here's hoping!

Sorry to hear about your back style that's no good. Nighttimes are much better here but naps still only great if in a carrier. Hey ho.
How are night times for you?

You win some you lose some I guess macca 😂 We've had a dreadful week really, nights all over the place though I've definitely managed to feed less during the night. It's just not been the magical few nights I hoped it would take and that everyone else seems to manage to sleep train in! Oh well, just have to keep going even tho it's back to work on Tuesday and hope it starts to pay off soon.

Hahaha how true. I feel horrible persevering with the naps - it's literally 1hr of crying for a 15 minute nap. I once started again to lengthen the nap but it was so awful I haven't done it since.
How's the back? Hope it's better!
Also - cc hasn't been the dream solution for me. DS now sleeps from around 7pm until around 5:30am (ok so that is a dream solution!!!) unless there's good reason, but really I was doing it so that he would go to sleep initially without crying, but except for a few occasions, that isn't the case. Can still take up to 20 minutes. I'd take one night time wakening for that easily!
Happy new year!!

I wonder if the evening crying will start to shorten macca, the night sounds great really compared to before so well done with that! He must be getting used to the idea.

We've moved DD into her own room and booted poor DD3 into the big two's room, which means evenings are fun and games with them for an extra hour at least. But we thought it was a step toward getting DD to settle overnight.

Last night was a bit of a battle, she woke at 10pm just as I was ready to drift off and DH went to cuddle her. She wasn't happy and really wailed until I swapped with him. Every time I went to put her down asleep she woke up and screamed the place down! Eventually I caved in and fed her and when she went down she cried again for a good 20mins but settled by midnight and woke up at 7:30. So a long evening but I actually felt pretty refreshed for my first 7hr block of sleep for approx 4 months

Thanks style he is doing 10+hrs a night so I can't complain. Sometimes he does go down without crying so I know he can do it!
Sounds like a bit of progress though. It's a good stretch - 7hrs and although not perfect, it's getting there. How are the others doing? I wonder whether xmas had an impact- they are too young to get it but I think maybe the change in routine puts them out of sorts a bit. What do you think?

We had friends staying over before the Christmas holidays and had to put them all on together and it's been chaos ever since! Doesn't help that DD2 and DD3 are topping and tailing and kicking each other. I'm loathe to put one back in with the baby though because if I do the odd bit of controlled crying I don't want to disturb the older one that's in with her, so it's all a bit tortuous at the moment! Last night not so brill ☹️ Hopefully tonight will be better. I've really noticed the lack of sleep today. I went to the pharmacy to see about some multivitamins and every single thing was see the doc, not safe while breastfeeding (got loads of mouth ulcers and generally feeling really really low). So the pharmacist suggested I do go see the doc to get some advice. Will ask about sleep training while I'm there!

Ten hour stretches sound bliss macca! If he does settle easily some nights it's definitely getting there. One week you'll suddenly go hey, he hasn't cried for a full week at bed time. It just suddenly slots into place and you get this blissful patch of gorgeous unbroken sleep until theu start climbing out of the cot and you have to take the side off so they don't kill themselves and then a whole new set of painful bedtimes begins 😂😂😂

Sorry that was a very ungrammatical last sentence! I'm so tired I can't punctuate!

Woohoooo!! DD slept all night until 6:45 last night! We've had a better few nights with odd times but only a single waking. So if we get another night like that tonight we may be heading for improvement!!

Hi all, so glad you guys are having successful times, great stuff. It gives me hope!

Couldn't be worse here right now. We'd been having some great nights, did a little bit of gentle cc and managed to get down to 1 waking- quick feed and back to sleep until 6 ish, and I was starting to feel human again. Well, since new year he's been up every night, about 1am, and won't go back to sleep for 2-3 hours. It's unbelievable. Nothing works. Feeding, comforting, leaving, absolutely nothing. He's got a terrible cough (I don't think it's related as this was going on before he got ill) so the past few nights I've been up at 11, 1-3:30, 5 then up for the day at 6 ish. I feel like I'm falling apart. Just cannot cope with the two ds on this much broken sleep and I have no idea what to do to sort it out. Poor wee guy, I feel for him, hes completely exhausted during the day, and so upset during the night.

Oh well, grin and bear it I suppose....