'Sleep is for the Weak' for anyone with August/Sep 06 DC's

[justJAM]

GM, Cruise and anyone else with LO's born around August/September 06' - this is a support thread for when you have no clue as to why your LO is doing the exact opposite to what they were doing last week and when you are thinking WTF????
Post on here and we shall all compare notes and comfort each other!!

pavlov - glad to see you joined us (though sad you felt the need iyswim!!!) off to bed now to get a few zzzzzz in. More tomorrow

Aimijee, hope you manage to get some zzzzz's. I am going to hit the hay soon too, for what its worth. I have the calpol, carvol, and baby orajel to hand for during the night, and possibly DP might sleep on sofa as he needs a good night too, working tomorrow, got important meeting.

Funny though, yesterday - I put DD in bed at 4am after feed, went to toilet, and in the meantime she woke and screamed the place down, very very very loud. So, me with croaky voice due to cold said, hey DP, why aren't you awake?' and he said 'bloody hell, what did you wake me for?' !!! slept right through her screaming, and now she was wide awake, for a long time, as were both of us!

Cruisemum, enjoy your zzzs. see you in an hour?!!!
night night everyone.

Amijee - we switched from bf to ff at nights. DD still woke up lots at first but only took snack feeds so after a while we decided not to feed her if she woke before 2am (she has a dreamfeed around 10.45). Instead I rocked and cuddled her back to sleep and gave her the dummy - all the things you're not supposed to do! - and only fed her before 2am if she got really desperate and wouldn't settle. I was surprised to find she rarely did actually want the feed so I pushed the time back to 3 then 4 - and after a few weeks was able to stop feeding her altogether at night. Didn't stop her waking up altogether but she did wake up less.

The only downside is that when she woke before 2am and I got her back to sleep without the feed, i knew I was condemning myself to getting up again fairly soon cos she'd get hungry but it was worth it for the (hopefully) longer term gain.

After that we worked on getting her to sleep without being cuddled and rocked - just gave dummy in the cot and stroked her or patted her until she dropped off again.

Takes time but we found it helped. Sometimes i still do have to cuddle her back to sleep as she really wants a bit of affection and not just to be given the dummy but she's only little so fair enough!

Has anyone else found the calm day = a calm night thing to be totally untrue? DD is getting better at nights now but daytime sleep has gone to pot - and if she has good daytime naps she doesn't sleep well at night. I thought maybe she was having too much sleep in the day but she's 4.5 months and has around 3-4 hours on a good day - don't think this is too much and she seems to need it?

I would love to stop BF night feed, so that I can start to ween off night feeds altogether, but my LO only just manages to take 5oz from a bottle twice a day, and will refuse a bottle at night (although I am wondering if this means perhaps she is not so hungry afterall?).
DD eats lots and lots and lots before sleep and this used to hold her but lo longer seems to.

Although good news... She went to sleep at 8:30pm and slept through to 1:45am. Then woke for feed, and again at 4 and again at 5 and again at 7am! (did not feed her each time and DP managed to get her back to sleep twice, yey!).

Fleecy - I dont know about calm day calm night thing but I find that if my LO has not done very much during the day, she is not v tired at night, and wants to do everything then! I just try to make sure she has a calm hour before bed, low lights, soft music or sing-song, toys and story books on bed, then her usual bedtime bedtime routine. Used to work a treat for the night, now it works for about 2-3 hours!

I've yet to be convinced about the sleep = more sleep thing either, but then, mine doesn't sleep at all so maybe there is some truth in it.
Pav, why do you think it isn't teeth? Sounds like all the usual symptoms.

My night was marginally better. She went 11 - 2.45 (fed) then 3-5 5-6 (fed) 6.15-7.30 Unfortunately I don't find it as easy to go back to sleep as she does.

I'll check in later.

Gingerminja, its not that I dont think its her teeth, rather I am sooo surprised it is just her teeth. She is wonderful during the day. Hasnever really been a napper, as soooo into everything, but does not appear to be in any discomfort or pain. However my very wise DP says that perhaps she just not think about the pain during the day.
Also on several occasions gave her calpol and Anbesol and done absolutely nothing.

Thats not to say it is not, it may well be, I just dont know!! She is an early crawler, and can stand up on her own, perhaps she can learn to talk early too and let me know what the prob is!!!

Ginger - so sorry you got less sleep than me. I feel like I had a full night compared to you!

ginger - sooo sooo sooo sorry about the typo, m and n close together...forgive me?

feel like I havent checked in lately but that could be becuase my days are so long I am losing track of time! well ds seems to be marginally better at nights. last night and night before he was asleep around 8 (harder to settle than before ) then woke at
10:45ish
3ish
and 6 - 7ish. Trouble was the 3am was till 4:30....
Which I guess is acceptable esp by recent standards.
had hv round today cos i got in such a tizz weaning and exhausted too. A bit teary
She was really reassuring and said it would be fine to give ds 3 'meals' a dy since he obviously enjoys his solids (she watched me feed him so she coudl see for herself. hope we areall well. gotta go - ds yelling

your hv comes round cruisemum1? I see my hv whenever I can get the surgery. If that is weeks, then great. If I dont go back at all I am sure she would not actually notice.

I have had little support really from her, told me my little one was close to failing to thrive because she was slow on the charts, although steady enough, she just dropped down a little but still hugher on the line than when she was born, told me I should not even consider weaning until 6 months, made to feel like a bad mother on both occasions. As far as sleep goes, she says its just one of those things. I am there to weigh the baby, thats her attitude really. Oh and to give me leaflets if I ask questions!

Oh I wish I still had my midwife here, she was marvelous!

hi

wish I had time to read all your posts, yes lo is a sept baby and he is driving me insane! I posted on a separate thread before I saw this one...I thought I would be able to ride this out (with co-sleeping etc) (he has been waking 2-hourly every night since 22nd Dec and won't settle without a feed) but it seems I'm just not strong enough. am close to cracking up. cried all day yesterday, in the street, in the park, screamed in the house today with the front door open. no-one seemed to notice or maybe they're just keeping well clear. is affecting my mental health and can't function looking after 2 small children by myself with no support on such fragmented sleep. how do you all do it?????

we don't do it. we are like you. at the end of our tether. my ds is currently screaming upstairs in his beautiful cot in his beautiful comfortable room. my dd is downstairs by herself doing her homework. we all cry, none of us know what to do. you will fit in perfectly.

Fuck this for a game of soldiers. ds never here as works long hours. ds screaming don't know what to do - really at end of tether. he cannot fall asleep without my boob but he is so full up that he is thrashing around on it. dd is alone watching tv again. i am fucked off

fuck this

hi all

just checkin in. Fleecy - thanks for your input - very good ideas there.

Kiera - we all feel for you as we all feel like this most of the time.

I had another bad night - hrly wake ups ending in me bringing him into bed again at 3am. I know i'm making things worse by doin so but when i have to get up 4 work at 6.30 i just take the easy route.

Dh is out tonight so will probably bring ds into bed even earlier. I may try the calpol tonight as someone saw him today and said he was looking like he was teething ( he doesn't look like there's any there)

I'm still considering the crying way at some stage - need some very quick changes!

hey cruise

we are here for you x x x

ami- thanks. I had to bring him down in the end as dd had been on her own the entire evening. He just does not know how to fall asleep by himsefl unless he is on the move. I am really tempted by the crying route every time this happens until I hear him cry for 10 mins and then I feel dreadful, just dreadful. I think it will come to that though as he approaches 6 mths as I have fucking well had enough. scuse the language. Just feel so desparately frustrated that I cannot get a 5 mth old baby to to to sleep.

kiera - what happened around dec 22nd?

Cruise, so sorry you're feeling so shitty. If DS will only sleep on the move have you looked into those amby hammocks? There was a thread on them on here a few weeks ago. Might be worth a look. Also, I know you mentioned that he didn't take the dummy but have you tried all the different types to see if there is one that he might take? Do you talk to DD about what you're trying to do with him, sorry you're not spending time with her etc etc? Maybe she could help you in some way, perhaps sing him a lullaby help to bath him then you would be spending time with her too. Perhaps you could both do a bit of baby massage, her with a dolly and you with DS. Ask her advice on what she'd do with her dolly if she wouldn't sleep. It's probably stuff you're already doing, I'm just thinking that if she helps then maybe you won't feel like you're neglecting her (which by the way you're not, you are doing your best under very very difficult circumstances)

Kiera, also sorry for you and your situation. Sounds like you're suffering the same problem. Like Cruise, what happened on the 22nd to change things? I also cry at the drop of a hat, am bad tempered and generally not a particularly nice person to live with. I get frustrated with DD and then feel guilty for shouting. I'm really not that kind of person but lack of sleep drives me to friggin' distraction.

Amijee, just do what's right for you. We have to do what we can to get through these difficult times. I'm certain you won't create any long term problems.

I'm finding this thread a great support so thanks guys. It helps to know you're all there listening to my moaning.

Pav, LOL at spelling. I'm not telling

ginger - thank you so much for that. dd is pretty chilled about things but she does get fed up about the amount of time ds takes at bedtime. i make sure that once he has settled we play cards or do something together. I just feel guilty (and fed up!) Ditto the thread being a fantastic support ginger. It really is a lifesaver for me at times
Pavlov - even my dd pointed out that hv is a bit of a misnomer being that they don't actually visit (of course she didn't use those terms even though she is very bright!). Anyway, the only reason shd did visit was that I had been in tears on teh phone this morning in a tizz about every possible aspect of parenting a 21week old boy and I guess they felt Ineeded hands on support. I was grateful I must say.
well dh came home, rocked ds off to sleep and hopefully that is it.... mor etomorrow. I wish you all a restful night.

Night everyone

I've just put ds down and tried an experiment - gave him a bottle before bed ( formula) He took 5 oz but had a rather big breast feed 3 hrs earlier. It wasn't that much more difficult getting him down but the big question is - will he stay down??

The good thing is he wasn't rooting around for my breast like he normally does whilst falling asleep - prob cos he was full.

Cruise - I don't know how you do it with two. One is bad enough. Just be content in the knowledge that these spirited little babies tht don't sleep will end up as the next einstein!

Sending sleepy thoughts to all your babies!

Cruise, so sorry its so awful for you today. I wish I could say some thing wise and profound to sort it out, but well, currently my LO is on daddy's lap watching tele because we have given up!!! So, I guess the only thing I can say is, do you take sugar in your coffee?

OMW she is laughing at Hugh Grant, thats not a good sign.

Not that I am pleased your health visitor does not normally visit, but I would hate to be left out...! My midwife was great, she came round for every visit rather than me go to surgery, I had some personal stuff to deal with, and she called me regularly to help, came to visit me in hospital and afterwards came for longer than necessary to offer support. She even saw me in town near xmas and came running up to me to see how we were doing. Unfortunately, although doing fine, my hair was a mess, I looked awful, had food all over my clothes (baby's not my own)!

I really really really hope you get some sleep tonight.

On the subject of Calpol - Every time LO wakes now or does not go off to sleep, Dp says 'shall we give her calpol' like its some kind of sedative, I wonder if thats why so many people put it all down to teething? A reason to get the Calpol out!!

5 oz?! Wow, my Lo wont take more than 3 before bed, 4 at a push, but she has bf too. She wont sleep without bf. She hates the bottle. Although she prefers her awkward pink MAM more than any other...!
Good luck Amijee