'Sleep is for the Weak' for anyone with August/Sep 06 DC's

[justJAM]

GM, Cruise and anyone else with LO's born around August/September 06' - this is a support thread for when you have no clue as to why your LO is doing the exact opposite to what they were doing last week and when you are thinking WTF????
Post on here and we shall all compare notes and comfort each other!!

22nd - he'd had a cold and didn't feed much that week (ended up expressing a few feeds) and dropped some weight so I assumed was just a growth spurt to make up for lost time. Then the "growth spurt" just never ended!

Kiera - ditto cruisemum's statement. I completely lost it yesterday and actually screamed at DS1 Have never, ever done that before. Ever. He was hysterically crying afterward; gave myself some time & then went back in, explained how I was sorry and wrong and it was because it had been a hard day and DS2 is sick, hugged on him, etc. but when DH returned late from business trip I was still mortified & broke down crying myself as I told him about it (he understood thank God).

Today DS1 was cleaning up his toys on his own & I said, "That's so great of you!" And DS1 repied, "It's so great of you too, Mommy! You're being so nice to me! You're not screaming! You're not yelling!" All with a smile and a frank sense of observation

Cruise, so sorry The American manual for the "crying thing" is Gary Ezzo's "On Becoming Babywise" and it is highly controversial. Still def. worth a read, IMHO just pick what you use & throw away what doesn't make sense. We did use his method - loosely - with DS1.

Can't help comparing DS1 as a baby to DS2. So far a few differences - all in DS1's favor. He was a much better baby. I know it sounds terrible to say but it's the truth. He's such an amazing little boy. Still can't believe that I screamed at him Had been three horrible days in a row and I just lost it.

Marls001 - ds1 has always been such a good boy too, he's so sweet and gentle. yes he has tantrums, tests the boundaries and all the rest of it but he's a pretty easy boy. magnifies the guilt when I got to screaming point yesterday...

well I fed lo at 6pm and left dh with a bottle of ebm while I had my first night out with the girls since he was born. got back at 11pm and you'll never believe this but he SLEPT THE WHOLE TIME but WOKE UP THE MINUTE I WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR - literally - I just couldn't believe it - he has never gone this long between feeds apart from once when we did pu/pd and he was exhausted from crying and once when he was ill. do they have a telepathic link to us or something?? anyway dh had put the bottle in the fridge and did the first night feed which was fantastic and I was amazed to find in the morning that he had actually taken the bottle which is the first time ever. only 2oz but he'd had a big feed at 11pm so wouldn't have expected him to take much at 1am anyway. so pleased. I did wake up when dh was shushing him to sleep but much better and was able to sleep 12 till 3 when he woke for the next feed. we're going to do it every night now : )

Hi Marls, sorry things are so hard. Don't make it worse by being hard on yourself. We all have moments like that. Remember that your DS2 is also an amazing little boy. He's not doing any of this to upset you and it won't help you to compare the two of them. They're two different people. You will welcome two different personalities when they're older so try and recognise that maybe DS2 is more spirited than DS1. It doesn't make him better or worse, just different. Hope this doesn't sound patronising they are meant as words of encouragement, sometimes it's difficult to express tone in writing.

Hello all, I've been absent for a couple of days due to computer malfunction, and have missed you all [send big virtual hug to fellow shattered mumms].

Things had been going ok, but last night went t*ts up.. She went to bed lovely at 7, then woke at 10, 11.30, 2, 3, 3.30 and then at 4.30 decided she wanted to play. Tried to let her cry a bit at this point as she wasn't very upset just really crying for a bit of attention. DH said I should feed her as she blatantly starving and we had a huge row at 4.30. He drives me potty and although is very good with DD he isn't overly good with her during the night as 'he needs his sleep, he's working'. I'm sure he thinks I sit on my arse watching Jeremy Kyle all day .

He's on nights next week and I'm going to take the opportunity to try and get her to settle in night without a feed (not sure how yet). I just can't handle it anymore...I'm also suppossed to be going out tonight leaving DH to give betime bottle, and put her to bed. Should be entertaining as she was about 8 wks last time he had the time to put her to bed.

Hope some of you had a better night

Marls

don't beat yourself up about something we all do/will do.

My experiment was interesting. I gave ds the bottle before bed at 9pm and he only took a little longer to go to sleep. He stayed down until 01.15!! It's made me wonder whether my milk supply is getting low as i'm ommitting daytime feeds. After the first wake up however, we were back to the usual and he came in bed with us but at least i feel as if i've had a bit of sleep early on as i went to bed early cos dh was out.

Could all be a coincidence but will try it again tonight with dh doing it and see what happens!

well done kiera - you deserve it.

cc - partners can be really insensitive sometimes. I do all the nights AND I work - I still feel as if I should take over the child care as soon as I get home though. Go with your instincts - I think it's important to feel at one with your instincts and what you are doing. Sorry to hear you had a bad night - sounds familiar to us all though!

morning all - well ds finally settled @ 9pm after dh tried 3 times to put him down asleep. I just don't know how to get him to sleep on his own. he just screams until I have to rescue him. I feel so bad but he has to learn at some stage. Nothing works. Anyway our night:
10:30 bf
3:30 bf
5:15bf
6:00 he woke, grizzled, settled himself (see he can do it!)
I woke him at 7:10 for school run etc.
I guess it is gettng better but I feel so anxious/frustrated that he cannot settle himself and don't know how to rectify things without a lot of crying.
AMi - hope things were good for you last night after ff success!
Pavlov- do you have any idea how to get over the bf to sleep thing? it is a problem as he is getting so fullthat he is uncomfortable .
Kiera - my ds was fine until he got a cold too. So frustrating isn't it. Inkow my ds is capable of going 10 hrs as he was before his cold. grrrrrrrrrr. Great that your dh managed to settle him. I am thinking of sending my dh to settle in the night too.
Marls - hope your day is better today. I compare lo's to. dd was so much easier but I feel blessed to have ds and love him equally as I am sure you do. you are a good mum - that's why you're on here
cc21 - good luck with your no feed in night plan. I want to do that so i think dh will be on night duty for a week or so. haven't told him yet..... If you have any great ideas do pass them on!

cruise - we had to do pu/pd from the baby whisperer to get lo to go down for naps and bed-time. we still have to do pat/ssshh for naps and in the night although I feed him to sleep at bed-time and let him comfort suck for as long as he wants. it was hard as he did cry a lot but at least we (or rather dh) was there to comfort him rather than leaving him to cry by himself. but at least I can get him down for naps now even though they are short (30/45 mins) and we have our evenings back now as he sleeps in cot until we go to bed. I usually have to take him out in the afternoon to get him to sleep in buggy though but we have to take ds1 to pre-school and back so are usually out anyway. its amazing what miracles a warm snowsuit fresh air and motion do. sometimes he sleeps for a couple of hours but usually less than this. ds1 was a great napper so this has all come as a bit of a shock!

Hello all.....

My lo was born in July but it was suggested I visit this thread as well as my ds loves his hourly wake ups from 7pm to 7am!!!!

I have not had time to read all through the messages but it is reassuring that my lo is not the only one doing this...

Well the good news is that we have had a couple of good nights (for us that means not waking every hour and resettling easily)

As it has only been a couple of nights I'm not sure if it will continue and part of me thinks that some of the progress is down to maturity not anything I have done.

Anyway I decided that I would only feed my lo in the night every 3 hours or more, between times I would offer him water and a cuddle / hum / rock. The first night we had generally hourly wake ups except for one stretch of 3 hours, the second night we had hourly wake ups then a 5 hour stretch then a 3 hour stretch (WOW), last night was 3 hour stretches until 5 am.

He does not drink the water just coughs at it, then settles in my arms / on my shoulder. This is a huge improvement as he has only fell asleep in my arms without feeding 3 times since he was born.

Sorry for the long post but thought it might give some ideas / hope

Hope you all had some sleep

Funny enough, my LO was fine until she had a cold!!! Wonder why that is, however two days later we went to USA and its never been the same since, coupled with endless journeys to and from London to visit family (a sad time right now) so I blamed it all on that...

Cruisemum1, I have not yet found a way to avoid the bf before sleep thing...not really. She took a bottle last night before sleep, first time ever, drank 4 oz, less boob, however, she did not go to sleep until 10pm, and when she finally did, it was on the bed, on daddy's side so that he could not go to bed!!! Aw. She slept until 3am though which is great, then woke at 5am and then 6:45am, so much better than before. She is asleep now, and has been for ONE WHOLE HOUR!, she is very very tired, and snotty. We gave her a shower with DP, think it helped. When/If I ever figure it out I will let you know!!

It just feels like I have lost any routine/control and she is calling the shots, but I know she does not want to be doing it, its almost like she is saying, FGS mum get it together and give me routine will you? Oh fine will do it myself!

Hey Lori21, my LO born in July also, you are welcome here. What date? mine was 1st July...
[hugs]

OMG I might have found the answer.
My LO went to sleep at 11:00am, like the routine that I have in my head. She is still alseep. One hour and 19 mins later.
The only thing I did differently is that after brekky, she had a shower with DP, which she absolutely loved, then had bottle and bf, she fell asleep on bottle and suckled on boob, zonked, out like a light (oh, well she is in her car seat as we took DP to work at 11:10am, she usually sleeps better in car seat but never this long).

YEY! Perhaps I should be doing stuff, rather than talking on here! Best go pack some stuff for trip to London/Kent before she wakes.

Will make a coffee first...(not obsessed by caffeine honest!)

pavlov - a reminder please --- how old is your lo?

7 months and 1 day...

still asleep. one hour and 38 mins...and I am out of milk for my coffee

pavlov - if you are anything like me, you will now be worrying that he is getting too much sleep and won't settle at nighttime . re: the milk for coffee - have a glass of wine instead!

sorry - 'she'

yes, I have checked on her twice as she is quiet and given blocked nose, has been snoring. Am considering waking her up!! I wont though!

However, going to London tonight when DP finishes work at 7:00pm, she sleeps great in the car so thought we would do the run there at night, done it before and worked great, means it probably wont today!

I wish I could drink wine - am driving in a bit, however just found some Cola in fridge.

Oh an one hour 50 mins. I now have a dazed awake baby girl in my arms. She did the most enormous stretch, like it was the best sleep ever, thanks LO!!

Does anyone ever pick their LO up after a nap and think they feel heavier than before they went to sleep? She is definitely heavier.

And still yawning. Think she is rubbing it in now!

Ooohh wine, I am looking forward to a glass or two tonight. Have therefore decided that DD is to have a bottle of ff in night. Tis the end of b/f for me & DD. I think the fact she is failing to settle after waking in night is that she is barely getting any milk from me and is probably starving

How is your boob weaning/food weaning going cruise?? I'm thinking of giving her breakfast soon as her nighttime feasts means she never wants a bottle in the morning and then she is all out of sync during the day

My god why is parenting so bloody confusing????

CC21 - I think it has a lot to do with our brains shrimking somewhat as our LOs leached all our Omega Oils whilst in our tummies. Thats what I claim when it all becomes too much anyway!!

You're right Pavlov

My mind is like a sieve these days! Which reminds me where did I put my dd.......

you have a dd?! what dd?!

hi girls

my ds sleeps well in the car - sometimes 1.5 hrs. Not sure if it makes his night sleep better.

i'm so happy he took the bottle and went to sleep last night - dh's turn tonight and if all goes well - i'll be able to have a night out ( haven't been out in an evening on my own in over 6 mths)

Weaning is a different story - he likes his sweet!! Tried mashed potato and parsnips - turns his nose up! They do try you don't they!