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Original poster

Crying here, need help

72 replies

PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 06:56

This is my 4 th day crying from lack of sleep and I need help.

Last week we went to a sleep consultant and paid a lot of money. She advised us how to settle etc and it's just not making a difference.

We are 7 nights in and last night he still woke 10 times for dummy and stayed awake for over an hour at 4 am.

Should we quit the dummy?

I don't want to bring him in to bed with me and I don't want to offer breast to sleep. He is 6 months old and has 1 feed over night (which I'm fine about). He used to be such a good sleeper but the last 2 months have just been awful. I'm back in work next week.

OP posts:
rrra · 02/02/2016 09:52

I'm so sorry, I'm exactly the same in terms of crying about lack of sleep.

I'd be going straight back to the sleep consultant as they haven't provided you with the service you've paid for. Hopefully they'd be happy to help.

My non sleeping 5mo doesn't take a dummy. But my DD did and I remember 5/6 months being hard with her. But when she was a bit older I tethered a dummy to her sleeping bag and she learnt to put it back in herself. Depends if you want to wait another month or two.

BugPlaster · 02/02/2016 09:54

Yes, go back to sleep consultant. My DS has dummy clip but he is older - not sure how much it would help at 6 months.
Thanks

Pyjamaramadrama · 02/02/2016 11:17

So sorry no help but I'm in exactly the same situation.

Ds 7.5 months woke every hour for his dummy last night and was awake crying for an hour at 5am before finally settling in my bed for 30 minutes.

What did the sleep consultant say?

Could he be teething? Have you tried offering him water? Sometimes that works here.

You could try a dummy clip and he may be able to find his own dummy.

To be honest though there are times when nothing at all will settle my ds Sad

GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 11:22

Most decent sleep consultants will advise you to get rid of the dummy. It's a huge issue because the baby will wake at the end of every sleep cycle looking for it.
Who was this sleep consultant? She should be offering you a refund or additional support

Pyjamaramadrama · 02/02/2016 11:25

Geneva how can you get rid of the dummy, any tips?

I think ds would just cry and cry without it.

GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 11:40

Mostly it is cold turkey and then advanced techniques to manage the crying. You can't do a halfway house and you definitely can't give in. It's all about being 100% consistent

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 12:31

Thanks, went back to her. She agreed about getting rid of dummy and said do that and settling techniques she gave us. She said should see an improvement within a week if not go to doctor to see if there is reflux issue or something.

I'm so tired

We gave up dummy this morning, took almost 3 hours to get him to nap without it.

OP posts:
GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 12:40

Well done. It will take shorter and shorter every time to get him to nap without the dummy. Then after around 3 days of improvement he'll probably throw a complete hissy fit then be fine, so long as you are 100% consistent.
Does he have any other symptoms of reflux?

mouldycheesefan · 02/02/2016 12:41

I used to put loads of dummies in my dds cot so if they woke up for a dummy they could feel around and find one. If baby isn't settling I fail to see how removing dummy could help! Did the sleep consultant come to your house and do the nights with you like a night nanny wpuld do or did they just give you advice?

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 13:09

I tried the loads of dummies but he isn't able to put them in his mouth he just wakes and cries.

We are just after starting our second nap now without dummy, took only 15 min to fall asleep which isn't bad but he is very tired so that was prob it.

I really hope the night time sleep gets better soon

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 02/02/2016 13:36

Glad he has gone to sleep pebble I hope you all get some sleep tonight.

Can you update how he gets on? I'd love to know if it works out as I'm so fed up of getting up 10+ times.

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 13:53

He just woke up there now so naps have been very short today. Will post updates

OP posts:
StrawberryLeaf · 02/02/2016 13:58

My 7mo doesn't have s dummy (apart from me Wink) but my 4yo did. It was at about 6 months we introduced a sleepytot (look on Amazon) which holds dummies and was great. I think it seems sensible to carry on getting rid of the dummy as you've started but incase anyone else is looking for something the sleepytot is fab.

My 7mo went through lots of waking between 4-6 months, she's still waking once usually but that's much better.

Pyjamaramadrama · 02/02/2016 14:00

I've got the sleepytot for ds, as recommended by someone on here. It's great for me to find the dummy in the dark but unfortunately it's not made a scrap of difference to ds.

Ibu1986 · 02/02/2016 14:55

You must be so tired and so upset. You spend a lot of money on a sleep consultant and end up pinning all your hopes on them. We used a sleep consultant for my son when he was seven months and it made a massive difference to his night sleep though naps are still not perfect.

I agree with the others about getting rid of the dummy. I'd also be getting in touch with your SC as much as you need- keeping her updated with your days and nights and asking for advice, adjustments or just reassurance that things will improve.

Hope you have a better night tonight.

FATEdestiny · 02/02/2016 15:14

I sew a ribbon onto all of my sleeping bags, with a press stud at the end for the dummy.

  • No bulky clip to lie on
  • Easy for parent to find lost dummy, sweep of the hand across baby's chest
  • Easy for baby to learn to find own dummy by doing the same, from about 7 or 8 months old.
  • Established the dummy as only for sleep time (because we have the dummy permanent attached to the sleeping bag and not available anywhere else)

I would not give up on the dummy unless you have a simple, effective and easy alternate to get baby to fall asleep without you.

The dummy does not make any difference whatsoever to a baby reaching the developmental stage of being able to link sleep cycles.

The dummy is the simplest of no crying sleep solutions. If you have a baby waking between sleep cycles that is entirely a different issue.

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 15:17

Thanks so much Ibu, how long did it take for you to notice a difference? I found naps went great in the last week with sleep consultant recommendations but night time is a disaster. Just put him down again to nap he is just so tired. Took about 6 mins this time but Iv recorded myself singing a song and have it on repeat until he closes his eyes and then I keep lowering the volume. I only started that this morning and don't know if I'm creating another bad habit

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 02/02/2016 15:44

FATE do you have any tips for us? Sorry to hijack the thread.

My ds is 7.5 months. Has a dummy, just for sleep, he generally naps great during the day, managed 3 hours today! He self settle at night after a bath with his dummy. He's bottle fed and I've weaned him off the night feeds, it's been 6 weeks now. He eats lots of solids and plenty of milk during the day.

He improved a bit and even slept through some nights but it's all gone downhill again now. Waking several times and then just not going back to sleep.

I've done all the things I can thinks of, having his cot right next to my bed.

Sometimes a cuddle and drink of water works.

He's definitely tired. I try to shush pat but at times he just throws himself around and won't even take the dummy (in the middle of the night).

It's different every night, some nights he sleeps through until 5am then just a quick resettle, other nights it's every hour.

fluffikins · 02/02/2016 16:46

Are you sure he's not just hungry? My 7 month old still has 3-4 feeds a night and they're not just for settling, they're proper big feeds.

GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 17:32

There's no need for a 7 month old to be having 3-4 feeds a night.

Pyjamadrama, your multiple night wake ups might be due to what you are doing when your DS wakes up. I would put his cot in a different room (as you are past the recommended 6 months) and then you won't be so conscious of his grumblings. I would leave for a grumble and only go in for a proper cry, then resettle as quickly as possible.

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 17:53

Hi Geneva, what are your settling techniques?

OP posts:
BifsWif · 02/02/2016 17:55

My DD did exactly the same. She was having a growth spurt and hungry. She would literally wake up every hour and cry until I put the dummy in, resettle for a little while and start again.

It stopped as soon as it started, I'd say after around 3 weeks. Could he be hungry, or could his teeth be upsetting him too?

Original poster
PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 18:11

Hi Bif, that's reassuring that it does stop! I have visions of this lasting months! I think for us this has been going on 2-3 weeks so maybe end is in sight

OP posts:
Ibu1986 · 02/02/2016 18:19

It took a few days to see any difference and he did a couple of weeks of early wakings. However after three-ish weeks or so he was reliably sleeping 11+ plus hours a night with 2-3 hours of daytime sleep. Even with setbacks (teething, illness, holidays, developmental leaps) he returns to good sleeping. I honestly never thought this would happen.

The SC did say it could take up to three weeks to see changes. What kind of plan are you implementing I.e. gradual retreat, controlled crying etc?

fluffikins · 02/02/2016 18:24

Sorry, but I disagree with GenevaMaybe in that you can't make a blanket statement about what any baby will need at any age. Your DS may well be hungry, I know if I was hungry at night I'd wake frequently. It may be that, at 6 months, he still needs to top up a bit.

Once you're back at work it's worth realising that he might start reverse cycling too.

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