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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Crying here, need help

72 replies

PebbleTTC · 02/02/2016 06:56

This is my 4 th day crying from lack of sleep and I need help.

Last week we went to a sleep consultant and paid a lot of money. She advised us how to settle etc and it's just not making a difference.

We are 7 nights in and last night he still woke 10 times for dummy and stayed awake for over an hour at 4 am.

Should we quit the dummy?

I don't want to bring him in to bed with me and I don't want to offer breast to sleep. He is 6 months old and has 1 feed over night (which I'm fine about). He used to be such a good sleeper but the last 2 months have just been awful. I'm back in work next week.

OP posts:

Report

GenevaMaybe · 02/02/2016 19:11

I can't say my settling techniques as I used a sleep consultant and I have signed an agreement that I will not share her methods. Fair enough, it is her intellectual property and she has to protect her business.

7 months old do not need feeding in the night provided they have sufficient calorie intake in the day.

fluffikins · 02/02/2016 19:53

Well that's the clincher isn't it, getting enough in them in the day is so hard! My dd is so busy she doesn't want to stop and gets very angry when I did try to feed her every 2 hrs to get more in her, she's also refusing solids. But it's very hard to tell if they are getting enough so the OP should consider that, particularly as 6 months is prime time for a growth spurt.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 02/02/2016 20:28

Geneva that is simply not true...

PebbleTTC · 03/02/2016 04:59

We did a dream feed at 12.15 and that went great, fed him and straight back to sleep but now we have been up since 4 can't seem settle him back to sleep

OP posts:

Pyjamaramadrama · 03/02/2016 07:31

Did he get back to sleep in the end? I suppose it will take a few days for him to get used to not having the dummy.

Well we put the dummy clip on his sleeping bag last night. He slept all the way through, he never does that. Although I suspect it was just a coincidence as he was really tired and had napped loads in the day too. I've never put the dummy clip on him in bed as I was concerned the plastic might dig in, if it works again I'll look at sewing something on.

Believeitornot · 03/02/2016 07:37

Have you ruled out reflux as per the consultants advice? My two were awful sleepers because of reflux and tongue tie. No sleep training would work to get them through the night.

My ds's first teeth also came through at 6 months as well. I was never sure if teething made a difference but I remember when dd was 2 and she told me about her hurty tooth lo and behold I looked in her mouth where she was pointing and you could see the gum swollen where the tooth was breaking through.

My DS did get marginally better after 6 months and dd took a bit longer. I ended up having to cope with the lack of sleep for work by going to bed early and getting dh to help. It did gradually improve.

Bisghetti · 03/02/2016 07:44

It so hard when they're constantly waking. I recently attended a four day residential sleep school (not in the UK) and their view was it was fairly normal for babies up to at least a year old to still need one night feed, so more than one at six months wouldn't be unusual. Regarding settling, you could try what they taught us (not a secret as they're a not for profit organisation): for us, we start with responsive settling, which means you do your usual routine, leave the room and give them a chance to self settle for a couple of minutes. If they become distressed (not just whingeing or shouting but distressed crying for more than a very brief period) you go back in, calm them and if you feel they are likely to be able to self settle you leave. If you feel they're not looking like settling you stay and can shush, pat or body rock them. We do a kind of body rocking hands-on settling if our ds (12 months old) doesn't settled within a few minutes. It can take quite a while to settle him now that he can stand but we always get there. It's hard in the middle of the night as it can take a long time but it has resulted in longer sleep stretches and some full nights of sleep.

PebbleTTC · 03/02/2016 07:47

How would you know if there is a reflux issue? He does get a tiny bit sick after each feed but not much I thought that was normal?

I fed him at 5 and he went back to sleep. I think like you Pyjamaramadrama his extra sleeping last night is a coincidence.

OP posts:

GenevaMaybe · 03/02/2016 07:51

Waitrose what evidence do you have to support your statement?

Pebble classic signs of reflux are baby arching away from the breast or bottle during a feed, frequently coming off the breast or bottle, screaming during or immediately after feeds, a strong dislike of lying flat on their backs. In the case of silent reflux you see all this with not much sick. In standard reflux, you get those symptoms plus copious amounts of sick. You might also see bubbles or clear fluid coming out of your baby's mouth which is acid.

PebbleTTC · 03/02/2016 08:12

He does pull off breast a bit during feed but he does go back on. I could ring GP for prescription for zantac we had it before when he was born but I thought it was sorted. He doesn't mind being on back but does get bored and starts crying then. No screaming though

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 03/02/2016 08:13

Geneva is right. There is no need for a 7-month-old to feed multiple times in the night. Habit is a different matter.

He is waking up hungry because those are now his meal times. Stop feeding in the night and you will see he will eat/feed more in the day to compensate and his metabolism will soon get used to the new meal times.

If you got up and ate a full meal every night at 2 AM for a week, you would continue to wake up with a grumbling tummy at the same time thereafter. This is exactly what happens to Muslims who fast during Ramadan, incidentally. The only cure is to ignore the hunger & go back to sleep, and wait for the body to readjust its expected meal times.

CoteDAzur · 03/02/2016 08:15

OP - If you suspect reflux, put him to sleep on a baby bouncer or reclined pram and see if that makes a difference to how quickly he falls asleep and how long he stays asleep.

Muskateersmummy · 03/02/2016 08:20

Have you tried white noise? That really made a difference for us with our dd. There are apps on your phone you can try to see if it works, and if it does invest in a Ewan the dream sheep.

Also, make sure you are putting down for naps/bed early enough. If he is too tired it will be harder for him to get off to sleep. Sleep begets sleep, so encourage the naps to be as long as you can.

Good luck xx

Believeitornot · 03/02/2016 11:25

The reflux could last for months. My ds still suffered all the way through til toddlerhood. We went for tummy sleeping from 6 months old.

ThirtyNineWeeks · 03/02/2016 16:37

Cotedazur has it absolutely spot-on.
..as does Geneva.

Geneva, just tell the OP what your bloody tips are. You're anonymous ...aren't you!

PebbleTTC · 04/02/2016 04:21

He woke at 00.50 and I fed him but took 30 min to fall asleep and now back awake since 3.50 and no sign of going back to sleep whinging etc

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 04/02/2016 07:01

Where is this proof that babies don't need feeding in the night? I would like to see this quite frankly.

OP could your baby be teething? Also is he warm enough?

GenevaMaybe · 04/02/2016 08:23

Once babies reach 11 pounds in weight, they can go 6 hours or more between feeds in metabolic terms.
I am assuming a 7 month old weighs more than 11 pounds, yes?

fluffikins · 04/02/2016 08:24

My dd has what I call 'party time' episodes where she randomly decides to just be awake and doesn't want to go back to sleep. They always seem to coincide with leaps in her development (crawling, standing etc) so I think it's just something you need to ride out. IMO you feed a baby who seems hungry and bring him in with you if it gets annoying trying to resettle. That's what I do snd it reduces nighttime stress immensely

Pyjamaramadrama · 04/02/2016 09:30

The hunger thing is a tough one.

I started to find if I fed ds during the night he wasn't hungry until late morning. I also found that milk often wasn't settling him anyway but he would sleep through in my bed, so I cut out the night feeds completely. But he's ff so I can see how much he's had during the day, plus he's having two good sized meals.

I think he was on a growth spurt last week as he was eating like crazy and waking up loads. Then he started pulling himself up to standing so I suspect a growth spurt/developmental leap.

PebbleTTC · 04/02/2016 09:46

Hi Pyjamaramadrama, how is the dummy clip going for you? We are on our 3 rd day without dummy and it's actually going well. I don't know if it's a coincidence but he is sleeping for longer - still waking twice a night but when he woke this morning at 4 I didn't feed him, he went back to sleep after 40 min.

I think he is teething so have been giving calpol and rubbing gums with bonjella so that might also be helping him to back to sleep without dummy as it distracts him

OP posts:

Pyjamaramadrama · 04/02/2016 10:03

Well last night he slept all the way through again. He's slept through maybe 6-7 times ever so not usual for him at all.

I am almost certain it's a coincidence though. He'd been really fussy for the past week, sleeping terribly, then he suddenly started pulling himself up on the furniture. The next day he was completely zonked and I've had to wake him from his daytime naps to do the school run, so I think he's just catching up, as he has done this before after he started crawling and after he got his first tooth.

I will keep updating.

It does sounds as though you've cracked it without the dummy, it definitely doesn't sound as though it's got any worse? It must be lovely to see that he can sleep without it.

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PebbleTTC · 04/02/2016 10:11

Oh I'm so jealous that your fella is sleeping through! Hasn't got worse yet but could still happen tonight

OP posts:

Pyjamaramadrama · 04/02/2016 10:23

Honestly though he's gone from waking up every hour and crying from 5-6am to doing this. If it carries on then I will know it's as simple as him being able to find his dummy, if not I'll have to rethink.

I think dummies are a blessing and a curse.

It might get a bit worse before it gets better but I've read somewhere that babies get more dependant on the dummy as they get older so now is probably the best time to do it.

I'm kind of waiting to hear how it goes for you as I'm still considering ditching the dummy.

FATEdestiny · 04/02/2016 10:32

My DC4 was 11lb and 1oz at 19 days old. GenevaMaybe should I have been expecting four daily breastfeeds at 6am, 12pm, 6pm, 12am and no further feeds from my not-yet 3 week old exclusively breastfed child?

Goodness me.

PebbleTTC and Pyjamaramadrama - great your babies are sleeping better. Long may it continue

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