Crying here, need help

[PebbleTTC]

This is my 4 th day crying from lack of sleep and I need help.

Last week we went to a sleep consultant and paid a lot of money. She advised us how to settle etc and it's just not making a difference.

We are 7 nights in and last night he still woke 10 times for dummy and stayed awake for over an hour at 4 am.

Should we quit the dummy?

I don't want to bring him in to bed with me and I don't want to offer breast to sleep. He is 6 months old and has 1 feed over night (which I'm fine about). He used to be such a good sleeper but the last 2 months have just been awful. I'm back in work next week.

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

Geneva if you are genuinely interested there is a wealth of evidence that it is very normal and indeed healthy for a baby to feed throughout the night. However, I suspect you are not in fact interested at all in any evidence that makes you feel better about starving a child. I am genuinely shocked by your statement!

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

*evidence other than that that makes you feel better.

[CoteDAzur]

"Starving a child"? Is that your understanding of our paediatrician's recommendation to stop night feeds because normally developing babies don't actually need to feed through the night at 4-5 months

May I ask what your claim to authority is on the subject, to so forcefully object to the professional opinion of a doctor who has specialised in the field of babies and children?

[CoteDAzur]

"Where is this proof that babies don't need feeding in the night?"

It's not usually possible to prove negatives (nor is it reasonable to demand such proof) but maybe you can try to prove the reverse: That a 7-month-old needs several feeds in the night to survive.

More practically, it's easy to see that a baby didn't actually need nighttime feeds when you stop them and after a few nights he starts sleeping through like a log for 12 hours every night.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Wow starving s child is a bit much but also nobody can make a blanket statement that NO child of X age needs night feeds.

Surely most parents can make their own judgement on whether their baby still needs night feeds and how regular they need feeding?

[CoteDAzur]

Does a 5-year-old physically need night feeds to survive? What about a one-year-old?

I don't find it incredible that a doctor who has studied infant physiology for many years and worked several decades as a specialist for children can say that babies don't physically need night feeds after a certain time.

Habit is another matter, of course, and it is not hard to break. After a few nights, you watch the baby who so recently was latched onto the breast for hours sleep peacefully through the night, and you realise that it was not a need.

[fluffikins]

My dd doesn't 'latch onto the breast for hours' she has a quick 5 min feed and actually gets in a mood of you don't take her off, then she goes back to sleep.

[CoteDAzur]

I was talking about my own baby, who was indeed latching on for hours. I was literally broken and had started hallucinating while driving.

She slept through on the third night of no night feeds and has been sleeping al night like a log ever since (10-years-old now).

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

Yep, that's my opinion. You have the advice of one specialist, I have read a lot of research by specialists that claim otherwise. You will believe what you want to. I will carry on waking with my 14 month old in the night because to me it doesn't matter whether he's crying because he's hungry or he simply needs to know I am still there. He's a baby, he didn't ask to be born! Same goes for my 3 and 8 year olds!

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

Here's one of hundreds...
www.swansea.ac.uk/media-centre/news-archive/2015/sleeplessnightsnewresearchfindsbabiesshouldwakeatnight.php

[PebbleTTC]

I think this thread is going off topic

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

Me too. Sorry. Will bow out now.

[PebbleTTC]

He went down for 2 long naps today and went off to sleep without me being there and doesn't seem to miss dummy at all. I'm really glad we got rid of it.

He is asleep now took about 20 mins, 10 of chatting to himself and 10 of whinging

[ThirtyNineWeeks]

To be honest, Waitrose, I think you'll find that mothers such as yourself who refuse to see that babies can indeed sleep through once their habit has been broken, are keen on any literature that confirms they have been 'right' all along. It's called confirmation bias.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

That's brilliant pebble, how you get a good night tonight.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Sorry hope you get a good night.

[PebbleTTC]

Success!! He was asleep at 7.20 last night, I gave a dream feed at 12.30 and he woke up at 6.20 this morning! He also had about 3.5 hours of naps yesterday.

I really feel giving up the dummy helped with this

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Well we've just got up after a full nights sleep, I can't believe it.

Really glad you had a good night pebble.

It's quite funny a bit of an experiment with two different approaches. I'm a bit jealous that we've now attached that dummy to the baby I think getting rid of it would have been better really.

[GenevaMaybe]

Yay for good sleeps in the Pebble and Pyjama households!

[PebbleTTC]

I think today isn't going to be the same! Yesterday morning nap was 1.5 hours, today only 45 min

[FATEdestiny]

Pebble - The odd shorter nap isn't a big problem, just put baby down to sleep earlier for the next nap. It might mean three short naps rather than two long naps - but that's not the end of the world.

Pyjama - Don't worry about that dummy, they are absolute God-sends if you don't like to listen to baby whinging and crying when going to sleep. As long as you limit to sleep time only, all will be fine.

You are both doing great

[PebbleTTC]

Nope today was def nothing like yesterday! 4 very short naps, took 40 min to go to sleep tonight and he has been awake for last 35 min!
Pity Geneva won't share her settling techniques!