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Original poster

High Needs baby support thread

834 replies

LittlePixieMa · 07/12/2015 17:49

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club Smile

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Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 07:47

Raaaaaaaa. Lost count of how many times I had to whip a boob out last night, sigh. One day I'll miss all these night wakings

Db4d apparently I was a 'good baby' slept through from day one. Which I guess means my mum thinks I have a 'bad baby'! Might explain why she's only seen him a handful of times in the last 7 months not feeling bitter at all

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deathb4decaf · 06/01/2016 08:04

pixie DD was latched on all night too. Boob never went back into vest! To think I wanted to stop breastfeeding at 6 months LOL.

Sometimes I think people gloss over the bad challenging bits. It reflects better on them then!

nailsathome · 06/01/2016 10:50

Dp was like this as a baby. His mother apologises every time we see her

Yarpyarp · 06/01/2016 10:53

Not a great night here either. Must have been a full moon or something?! Grin

Pram nap lasted 10 minutes and I'm now pushing her back and forth toward a blank wall to try and bore her to sleep!

Yarpyarp · 06/01/2016 10:59

It's not working by the way.

How long do you all 'persevere' for before you give up/they become hungry again?

Db4d are you still pacing?

I've been stood for an hour now and it's coming up to feed time so probably pointless carrying on.

deathb4decaf · 06/01/2016 11:47

yarp I have probably done up to an hour before giving in. Drove me mad so stopped doing that and just decided to be led by DD. What works for us is distraction. When she is wound up I stand with her by the open back door, talk to her etc and she calms down a bit usually. Then I try again when she shows tired signs. Sorry if any of this sounds obvious or annoying! I'm pacing at the moment but have thankfully had a break in between! Not a break exactly but y'know.
nails dp and I were both assholes challenging babies, there was no chance for our offspring!

Yarpyarp · 06/01/2016 12:24

Joining you Db4d for a virtual 'pace'!

We've fed, pooed, changed, played and yawned. MUST be tired now!

I was a dream baby, could be taken anywhere and I'd just sit there quietly/fall asleep. If only!!

Yarpyarp · 06/01/2016 12:29

Joining you Db4d for a virtual 'pace'!

We've fed, pooed, changed, played and yawned. MUST be tired now!

I was a dream baby, could be taken anywhere and I'd just sit there quietly/fall asleep. If only!!

nailsathome · 06/01/2016 13:07

He's asleep in the car. We're parked around the back of the house. Do I move him or do I lay back the chair and have a nap?

deathb4decaf · 06/01/2016 13:54

nails what did you do? I hope you chose nap. Always choose nap!

yarp once again I'm pacing! She's pretty much asleep (in sling, on boob) I thought I'd be 'daring' and attempt a nice afternoon nap in bed with her. No. Bedcovers too exciting. Water bottle is fascinating! Haha... Back in the sling we go.

DD's cousin is a 'dream baby' who sends herself to sleep in any situation. Lights on, tv blaring, room full of strangers! I am always amazed.

Does anyone see glimmers of self soothing developing? DD scratches her ears and the back of her neck (quite hard) I have to cut her nails constantly.

Yarpyarp · 06/01/2016 15:25

Good that you can still laugh Db4d!

No signs of self settling whatsoever here! Sleep has escaped us in general today. Will see what tonight brings.....

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 18:21

Lol, seems like everyone is getting fit pacing around today! I've done laying on bed with boob in mouth naps today!

Db4d your LO scratches ears to self settle?!

No signs of self settling here, not a dot or glimmer on the horizon :-(

I thought that with him being mobile he'd sleep better, wishful thinking! Has made him happier though which is good!!

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deathb4decaf · 06/01/2016 18:41

Yeah, when she's feeding she sort of squeezes me with her fingers. It's the same action but on her ears? a few times she's drawn blood. 😔 I thought she had an ear infection the first time I saw it. She does this constant grizzle sound when she's going to sleep too. She's done these things for ages but still needs me to help! I'd love to do bed naps, we used to do them..how do you manage it?

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 19:12

My DS squeezes his ears when a tooth is coming. How do I do a bed nap? Lie down get boob out and plug him in ;-) then lay there for an hour or two!

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deathb4decaf · 06/01/2016 19:53

I know, silly question! DD won't do it anymore! She's far too distracted. I think I'll just have to keep trying.

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 06/01/2016 21:03

DH and I were both nightmare high needs babies by all accounts!

Baby llama sort of hums when he's going off to sleep. He also rubs his eyes when he's feeding and tries to suck his thumb when he's on the boob! Not helpful!

I can't do bed naps cos he won't feed to sleep in the day. Until about a week ago he woyld only feed to sleep during night wake ups but for the last week I've been able to feed him to sleep at bedtime which is exciting and an improvement on slinging him at bedtime!

Hope everyone has a half decent night. My car is being moted in the morning. Fingers crossed it passes!

nailsathome · 06/01/2016 21:57

I sat in the car for 40mins until he woke up.

I'm trying to wean DS off boobs but he's not having it. I'm so fed up with all the "advice" I'm getting! People saying "just be strong and don't give in to him". It's comforting to read that he is behaving like all of your babies so at least he does fit some pattern and isn't a complete random!

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 06/01/2016 22:08

Tell me about it nails. I saw a friend today who was aghast when I told her he has never had a day nap anywhere other than on me, car seat or more recently in pram. She couldn't believe he won't go in cot! Haha! I actually don't even mind. He's particular. Good for him. Hopefully he won't grow up to be a doormat! Grin

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 06/01/2016 22:09

Ps I though I'd only bf til 6 months max. Can now see I'll be doing it somewhat longer than that.

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 22:12

Aww humming baby llama, that's so cute! Haha my DS also sneaks a thumb in while feeding!! Can't help but laugh!! Hope your car passes!!

Nails do give in to him!! He knows what he needs. I think we can learn so much from our little a ones. They respond to what they're bodies need, and I feel that if we provide that then they're more likely to be confident well adjusted little people. Remind me how old yours is?

Finally got my monkey to sleep!! He's sooo full of beans in the evenings!! Arghhhh!!

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Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 22:13

Llama feels like we'll be breast feeding forever and ever and ever...................

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Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 06/01/2016 22:15

I read that only about 15% of babies are born 'high needs', so most people don't get it, or think we've created it. Then we get hounded with shit well meaning advice from all

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nailsathome · 07/01/2016 07:39

Littlepixie is is 8 months tomorrow.

I wanted to stop feeding at 6 months (fed DD for a year) because he's on it so frequently but he's not having any of it. Refuses bottles no matter how hungry he is and works himself into a frenzy until he gets a boob. He starts nursery in 4 weeks so he'll have to deal with it!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 07/01/2016 08:28

Nails these high needs ones are major boob fans aren't they! Mines also a bottle refuser. He'll adjust at nursery, you going back to work?

Not too bad a night here, still asleep now actually! Woken only 4 times!! Yayeeeee! How was everyone else's night?

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Yarpyarp · 07/01/2016 09:03

Morning all. Dare I say it, not too bad here! Asleep by 7.30 after some vigorous shh-ing from daddy. A bit more shh-ing at 8. Then woke 1.30 to feed then slept til 6.30.

We debated waking her at 10 but I'm glad we didn't and she had a good block of sleep.

Now for the naps..... have a good day all!