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Original poster

High Needs baby support thread

834 replies

LittlePixieMa · 07/12/2015 17:49

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club Smile

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duckyisback · 12/04/2016 18:52

Liberty drooling, red bumpy gums, rosy cheeks, off food, grumpy. She happy in herself?

Zaurak welcome! Sounds exactly like my ds from around that age. Hope it's just a phase for you and it improves. How is he with your dp? I know how you feel with not having a moment to yourself, it really is awful.

Well ds fell asleep at 6, he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer, I was sure it would be a good night tonight. He woke after half an hour. Just settled him but I'm still in his room too scared to move and he is literally sleeping with his eyes open

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 12/04/2016 21:52

Welcome all you newbies! Fun and games isn't with these little high needs monsters babies.

Same old here! Still co sleeping, waking lots at night etc! He decided that bedtime is now 10pm! Rather late, but at least I'm not stuck in bed with him from 7pm!!

OP posts:
deathb4decaf · 13/04/2016 11:05

Morning! Hello to all newbies!

DD did quite well last night, initially she woke 5 min after putting her down in cot (fed to sleep) but after repeating the process she stayed there from 7pm-11pm! Shock (maybe this was down to the calpol she had before bed- teething) I'm going to have another go at continuous white noise after hearing turtle's success! I didn't really give it enough of a chance before. Ewan doesn't seem to be enough!

We've found she wakes when we go up to bed so I'm considering putting the cot back in her room Confused and getting a single mattress to go on the floor in there, I might aswell try it to see if it helps!

DD is also a tummy sleeper. I sense a theme!

duckyisback · 13/04/2016 12:43

Death sounds like a good start! How was it after 11?

We had an amazing night ShockShock he woke around every 20 mins for the first two hours, then slept from 8-6.10 ShockShockShockShock and I think he would have had a lie in but his nappy had leaked and he was soaking wet. I'm really hoping a short nap in the day is the answer and this isn't one of his very very rare good nights.

Zaurak · 13/04/2016 12:50

Dh is wonderful (I truly hit the jackpot with him) and spent several hours pacing the floor with him in the middle of the night when I had a bit of a meltdown due to tiredness. Poor guy then was up at six for work, he's pretty tired too. He works long hours and often only boob will settle ds so I do end up with the brunt of the night wakings. We've decided on keeping him up a bit longer in the evening so dh can see him after work and I get a bit of time to myself.

Ds is teething - his first is just poking through and he's had a bug on top of a cold. So he's probably feeling a bit crap anyway then he seems to have suddenly developed separation anxiety. All fun and games.
We've gone back to co sleeping and I'll ease him back into his cot again once he feels better.

deathb4decaf we have an app called womb sounds - it's very good. Rain sounds are good too.

He's an adorable little thing - just very very hard work. I live abroad so no friends or family nearby to help.

Catmuffin · 13/04/2016 12:53

Only read the op but dd2 was like that. Someone said to me at the time that the payback is that they grow up very affectionate and cuddly. Dd is now 9 and it has proved to be the case. Smile Bloody hard work at the time though!

deathb4decaf · 13/04/2016 14:07

ducky we co sleep after the first wake up as it is always harder to get her back down that second time, plus I'm always knackered and take the easy option. I don't really know what happens after that, I know she feeds but I couldn't tell you how much!

catmuffin that is reassuring! Did you have any more dc's? I always wanted two but I'm not sure now!

We've got DD's 9-12 month check soon, I may have to lie to the hv about co-sleeping etc. ridiculous eh?

Catmuffin · 13/04/2016 15:24

Hi, I only had two as didn't want more anyway. Dd1 was an easy going baby so dd2 was a shock to the system! They are 9 and 11 now and dd2 gradually mellowed over the years so is now quite an easy child. I think two is easier when they get older as they entertain each other, but one is good too of course. Dd1 would have had a more relaxed toddlerhood and more attention if i hadn't been struggling with dd2 i guess, so good and bad points.

Catmuffin · 13/04/2016 15:26

Don't think you need to lie about co sleeping though as it's your choice.

fluffikins · 13/04/2016 20:57

My hv gave me a big lecture about cosleeping and how I "must get her to self settle" but surely "getting" her to self settle isn't self settling and as a family we've decided cc/cio isn't an option so I just lie to the hv now and say she's sleeping through.

Having huge problems here at bedtime with boob not making her drowsy but her demanding it for ages until it does. Quite stressful and she screams if I don't let her have it. She's in a leap and I keep on telling myself it will all resolve when she's out of it. I hope it does!!

duckyisback · 13/04/2016 21:27

My hv was very rude to me about ds sleep issues and tried to force cc/cio on me. She just kept repeating it over and over. I kept saying no Hmm

deathb4decaf · 13/04/2016 22:19

Agreed fluff 'getting' a baby to self settle isn't really settling imo, they get there in their own time!

I don't know what this hv i'm seeing is like (different one to usual) i'm probably just going to lie tbh, I don't have the energy to argue about it with her. Maybe she'll be lovely and understanding, but going what by everyone's said here I'll assume the worst! I don't need a lecture.

Purpleboa · 13/04/2016 23:28

Yeah my HV is of the 'co sleeping is baaaad' brigade!

Ugh another sodding cold hers for poor DD. Feels like we're only just over the last one?? Going to be a bad night, first night of the cold always equals no sleep. And I'm so tired as well. Gah!

fluffikins · 14/04/2016 08:20

Have you tried a humidifier purple, works well here for colds.

I think hvs do have to give official guidance which is not to cosleep, but you'd think they should be able to say "officially my advice is not to co sleep but if you must here's how to do it more safely"

Dd came in with me at 11. Another drawn out bedtime with the boob not making her sleepy by her demanding it nonetheless. Tried to just rock her but it resulted in a huge meltdown that was only solved by boobs. I think I need to just trust that she knows what she needs

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 15/04/2016 21:24

Good evening everyone!!

Well DS has had the vomiting bug, yay! And now DH has it. Arghh!!!

Not baby related but went to see a house last week (spur of the moment) and soooo want it! So we've put ours up for sale, eeeeshk!!

Not much to report, same old same old.

DB4D we had the 9-12 month check and I lied about his sleep, said he's great at it! Lol!! Saved getting a load of shit advice and being made to feel crap!! Also lied about weaning and said its going great, lol, boob is still the best!

OP posts:
duckyisback · 15/04/2016 21:37

After a good 2/3 nights of only a few wake ups ds is back on form and is hating sleep again.

He keeps waking up and not settling and his head feels boiling hot to the touch, he doesn't have a temp or anything. Anyone have any idea what this could be?

deathb4decaf · 15/04/2016 21:46

No idea ducky, have you tried him with his feet out, no socks or anything? I read somewhere It's supposed to regulate their temperature?

Good luck with the house pixie!

I didn't lie to the hv in the end just conveniently didn't mention some things. Smile

TurtleEclipseofTheHeart · 16/04/2016 03:37

One week of super sleeping and tonight I've been up every 1.5 hours. Grrrrr. DS learned to roll around today (he could roll before but never multiple rolls to get places) so could this be why do you think? I'm now even more determined not to have him back co-sleeping, but this sitting up nursing is really hard!

duckyisback · 16/04/2016 07:22

Death he doesn't wear socks but he wriggles about so much he has to have a sleeping bag. It's very strange.

Turtle, so frustrating when you think they have 'got it' then it all goes wrong again isn't it! I know when ds learnt to roll his sleep went really really bad again.

fluffikins · 17/04/2016 10:23

When dd learns anything it's always after a week of 'playtime' at night, where she'll just be awake for about an hour and just cooing and climbing about.

Think we're teething here, but no sign of any more teeth so it's quite frustrating! Starting to worry that I do need to do something soon about her wakings, she'll be one in 2 months so if things haven't improved I think I'll need to night wean, which is going to be traumatic!

Purpleboa · 19/04/2016 23:28

How are we all doing? Stumbled on here for a moan. It's been a week of illness, both me and DD have caught the same nasty cold. Normally I recover fairly quick but this cold isn't shifting, feel so rotten! And DD's slerp has gone to shit because of it.

Tonight I am literally dying for sleep but she keeps waking herself up coughing. I've been trying to keep it together, but am at the end of my rope tonight. This is the second cold DD has had over the past month! So much for the rubbish about breastfeeding being best for them.

Ten months of this. I'm losing hope it will ever improve. Right now I honestly feel that it's going to kill me. I've not had more than 3 hours straight of sleep (and that's a good night) since before she was born. It just seems so unfair that others have babies that slerp and we don't, why is that??

Sorry for the mega rant! Just beyond fed up, need to know I'm not alone! Feel like the only person out there with a 10 month baby who still can't sleep through the night...

Purpleboa · 20/04/2016 22:32

Guessing everyone's babies are sleeping better! Feel like I must be the only one left whose DC still isn't sleeping :( anyone at all? Just really could use some hand holding right now...

Coconut0il · 20/04/2016 23:05

Hi Purple could I join.. I'll hold your hand. DS2 is 8 months and is still not sleeping through. Sometimes we have good nights where the awake time will be quick and I can feed him back to sleep. We've had a few nights with him up for an hour or two, wide awake. I've been so tired I propped the iPad up with nursery rhyme videos playing just so I could doze. DP has spent almost all of the last 8 months on the settee so he can sleep, no point us both being awake. The only way I've survived is by going to bed at 7pm a lot and by DP taking DS2 in the morning whenever he's not at work and me sleeping in.
You're not alone and they will sleep through eventually. I can't really remember when DS1 slept through, we co slept for a long time but he's 12 now and loves his bed and sleep. It will come.

Purpleboa · 21/04/2016 01:54

It is hell isn't it? Thank you for your post and support Coconut. I just feel like there's no hope. Her sleep is getting worse, not better. I think she's too old now to learn any good habits now.

I blame myself for choosing to breastfeed, for nor being tough enough. It's a nightmare.

Tonight I haven't slept yet. She keeps waking and coughing. I just want to die.

duckyisback · 21/04/2016 02:17

Purple you aren't alone at all. My ds still isn't sleeping. We're 17 months now and not sleeping through Sad his new thing is waking up having a tantrum to get up at 1am every morning. Still trying to settle him now Sad

Sending you plenty of BrewBrewBrew and WineWineWineWine