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High Needs baby support thread

834 replies

LittlePixieMa · 07/12/2015 17:49

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club Smile

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deathb4decaf · 16/01/2016 16:43

I do the night time side swap too. Will try the pillow between legs!

I've set up DD's cot like that too, I didn't have the energy to put her in there last night, but I think I'll try tonight! You gona try pixie? I had to lower it today actually, she's getting quite active but can't crawl yet, sort of 'dives' head first. Bit alarming!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 16/01/2016 17:19

Db4d yes going to start tonight!! Let's do it together and see how we go!!! Have you lowered it as a sidecar? Can't your LO then roll off your bed into it?!

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deathb4decaf · 16/01/2016 17:30

Yeah lowered it but it's not much lower than the bed. Like hardly anything! Also have the sleepyhead in there which stops her rolling!

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 17/01/2016 02:50

Hope it's going ok with the cots. We have a chicco next to me crib and he does start the night in it which gives me hope!

The cold has really taken a hold now though and I think he has ear ache though no temperature. He's woken in the night for an explosive poo for the last few nights. Guessing snot contributes to that?

Ditto re the Co sleeping making me ache. I cracked a few ribs a few years ago and have never felt them since they healed, until now!

Yarpyarp · 17/01/2016 03:03

Evening/morning!

llama yes re snot and poo. Hope the worst is over soon.

YY to pain.. in the night, I'll feed lying down (also swap sides) and then my whole body seems to seize up, it's agony!

Anyway with all this constant boob action through the night, does anyone have any trouble with wind? I find my LO will feed/suckle for ages and then won't settle because she needs to burp and then that's a real struggle to get one.

I then seem to end up with her back on the boob whether she's burped or not as sometimes it's all that will calm her. Feels the wrong thing to do though, as in, more food is surely the last thing she needs.

She does totally relax when back on boob but then will squirm if I knock her off.. Surely if she didn't want to drink, or it was painful for her, she wouldn't?

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 17/01/2016 06:57

How old is she yarp? My ds definitely had the same problem but since he was about 16 weeks it's not been so bad and since then he's not seemed to need burping in the daytime either. Burping at night has always been an issue cos it woke him up. It's a tricky one. I think they want to comfort suck when they have tummy pain thought which just makes it worse.

We got up at 5:30am Sad

Yarpyarp · 17/01/2016 07:18

She's 20 weeks so would have hoped it would have been improving by now.

If I'm on my own at night I haven't got the strength to rock to her sleep and so just have to resort to 'feeding her to sleep' which then seems to have to opposite effect at the moment. It's a bad thing when even the boob doesn't work!

deathb4decaf · 17/01/2016 07:29

Failed miserably with the cot, I got her to sleep, put her in, she stayed there a few minutes, then woke up...I was tired so got her into bed and we went to sleep. 😳 I'm rubbish. How did you get on pixie?

I do find DD (6mo) does get a bit windy with all the boob action, I guess it comforts them but they don't know it's also causing tummy pain?

Going to inlaws for lunch today. Fingers crossed for no meltdowns!

Yarpyarp · 17/01/2016 08:00

At least you got her to sleep and got her in Db4d - that's a start!
It's so hard to persevere with things in the middle of the night when you just want to sleep.

Good luck at in laws!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 08:19

OMG can someone make me a strong coffee please............

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Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 08:23

BAD night!! Got him to sleep at 9.45pm, little monkey was wired! Plopped him in the side car, woohoo.... Lasted 5 mins, the he woke and screamed. Boobed him, transferred again, and he sobbed his heart out, wouldn't latch. Finally got him to sleep and kept him tucked close to me. Ho woke at 2pm and sobbed again, think he's getting a cold, all bunged up.
Then woke a trillion times after than. Sigh.......

Yarp yep we had the wind issue too, milk works as an antacid so helps them when they've wind, but I think the lying down feeding makes it worse. I had to give up dairy and eggs, which stopped the problem. Where are you from Yarp?

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deathb4decaf · 17/01/2016 08:24

True yarp! It wasn't that long ago she would go in there for an hour or more on her own, I feel like we're going backwards! I'll keep going and hopefully extend the times!

llama I feel your pain with the 5.30am wake ups!

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LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 08:38

Db4d we'll get there, one day they'll be happily sleeping through!

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Yarpyarp · 17/01/2016 09:17

Ha pixie I thought exactly that about 4.30 this morning....I was like, 'you're gonna miss this one day!' Lol Yours does sound like a rough night. Big coffee for you.

I'm in Lancashire

Db4d I know exactly what you mean about going backwards. Pram naps have all gone wrong and it takes so long to get her to sleep and then the sleep is so short, I've given in and got her in the sling just to try and stop her being over tired. And admittedly when I am this tired I just can't be arsed fighting with it. Oh well, won't be forever...

CaptainWarbeck · 17/01/2016 11:16

Hello everyone, can I join you? DS is 8 months and we're not getting much sleep. He's been cutting a couple of teeth the last few days so has been extra clingy and in the sling a lot.

Also, when we've been round at people's houses lately he's started just crying when we get there and everyone's saying hello to him, I have to retreat to a quiet room with him til he feels less overwhelmed. Won't be held by anyone else for a good while after we arrive. Does anyone else's do this? It's a new thing for him!

We were cosleeping (and sometimes still do) but I found it so uncomfortable being on my side all the time we've now got an Ikea toddler bed pushed up against ours. I end up falling asleep feeding in it with him half the time though.

nailsathome · 17/01/2016 11:27

Sorry to hear about the bad nights.

Dp has taken the kids out this morning so I am all alone GrinI'm still full of snot so I've just got a duvet on the sofa but it's so nice to be able to do that! I've got a million things I should be doing instead of laying here though.

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 11:30

Welcome captain! Yes do join in the banter!!! Yeah my DS go through phases of not letting anyone else hold him, or even look at him sometimes perhaps he's a good judge of character!

Nails sending healing hugs to you, glad ounce got some time out, enjoy doing nothing! My OH has its taken DS to the inlaws for an hour. I'm planning to do a yoga practise ......... But found myself on mumsnet instead! Oooops!!

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CaptainWarbeck · 17/01/2016 12:44

Haha pixie I wonder that too sometimes! He is particular with who he likes Grin

deathb4decaf · 17/01/2016 18:21

Hi captain! Yes my DD (6mo) has always had a bit a lot of stranger anxiety. I feel bad having to explain to people all the time she's a bit sensitive and not to take it personally!

There were meltdowns today at the inlaws when people looked at her/spoke to her! Might be paranoid but I'm sure people judge me a bit and think I've 'spoilt' her!

It's awful but I kind of have to push myself to say yes to invites out because I know it'll be so difficult!

nails glad you got some rest, hope you feel better! The other stuff can wait!

Do everyone's dc's get livelier in the evening? DD has exhausted, can't-get-to-sleep-through-over-tiredness meltdowns every night. Disheartening when you spend every moment trying to get them to sleep!!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 20:44

Db4d - yep, evenings seem to be getting longer!! I can see he's tired but he won't give in! I thought evening milk was supposed to aid sleep?!! Mine seems to do the opposite...........

Now do I transfer him into the side car cot or not..............

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LittlePixieMa · 17/01/2016 21:53

Well I transferred and he lasted about 10 mins again, he gets so upset when he realises he's not squished up next to me Confused
Going to just try once each night to pop him in there to avoid him becoming too unsettled. Hope you all have great nights......!! X

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CaptainWarbeck · 18/01/2016 01:41

Yep db4d I think I need to start telling people not to take it personally. MIL was busy explaining to me last time I was over that the best way to get over stranger anxiety is to just leave him with lots of different people... er I don't think I'll be doing that!

Had an average night here (on Australian time). DS sleeps better the first half of the night, then seems to wake, roll about looking for me, gets stuck on his tummy and starts wailing Sad I scooped him up into my bed about 4am and cuddled him up close and he slept til 6am which was a huge win.

CaptainWarbeck · 18/01/2016 01:44

Pixie transferring is the hardest bit isn't it? They've got a sixth sense for their cot! This is why we went for our toddler bed, so I can feed him to sleep in it with both of us lying down and then escape like a ninja once he comes off the boob.

nailsathome · 18/01/2016 08:17

Pixie how annoying. DS wakes on transfer too but if he's very asleep it's ok.

He only woke up at 12:30 last night!!!!!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 18/01/2016 08:34

Captain. Oooh where in Australia are you? Lol, leaving him with different people will make him worse, they just don't get it do they?! My MIL is forever saying 'he'll just have to get used to it' urm, no!!!
I've a co sleeper cot, I feed him to sleep in it, ninja roll and PING! Eyes open as soon as I roll!!

Nails show off!!! Haha! We had a good night too! Only woke twice I'm only counting the times when I too was asleep

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