High Needs baby support thread

[LittlePixieMa]

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club

We had the first poo in the bath tonight. Quite hilarious! Luckily it wasn't a big one!

Hey!
How is everyone? Well I was half way through teaching a yoga class and realised I'd not fastened my nursing bra and half my boob had popped out!! Lol!

We've had a fussy day here, whiny and moaning little chap, currently attached to boob, which feels like he's going to suck off!! The joys

Haha! Sorry about your escaping boob Pixie!

Crap night here, we have another cold. Up since 4am crying. I had to cancel his jabs today. I've given calpol and he's settled down. I hate giving it and not knowing what I'm giving it for. Poor baby.

How was everyone else's night? Much sleeping going on?!

Morning all

Oh no llama sorry to hear that. I don't like giving calpol either. Mainly cause it makes dd really pooey! Good news on the buggy!

We had a normal night, as in, I went to bed with dd at 7pm, she spent most of the night latched on, she had a bit of a squalk at 1ish, poo at 5.30am, followed by another one straight after nappy change, pjs back on etc... Got her to sleep again 6.50-7.50. Next week I've got to bite the bullet and try getting her back in the cot. Eeeeeeek! DP on nights this week so just doing the easy option of DD in with me.

How is baby pixie now?

Does anyone have a playpen? I'm thinking of getting one...

Llama. Oh no, poor baby llama, they get so many colds :-(

Db4d oooh trying the cot again..... I keep meaning to but can't be bothered! I don't want to have to get out of bed to sort him out!! I've a travel cot I use as a play pen, but mainly use the Jumperoo if I want to get something done!

Baby pixie is good today! Happy chappy!! He is a bit constipated though, keeps straining but only does little rabbit droppings. Think I've given him too much banana!!

Yeah DD goes in the jumperoo but seems to be getting a bit annoyed with it lately! Can't decide on the playpen...

Yep when DP is off work were trying the cot! I'm starting to get paranoid she's going to roll off the bed!

Anyone read the no cry sleep solution book? I'm not keen on sleep training but this seems like it might be ok?

No cry sleep solution is a really gentle book, I've not implemented any of it as it takes weeks and weeks to for it to work, but it's a great book. Also the gentle sleep book is good xx

I've got the gentle sleep book, really is good but I'm not sure if I want to co sleep anymore, I don't think any of us sleep that well! think I'll have a read of the no cry sleep solution. Which other books have people read?

How is everyone?

Do you get much support from family? Do people have them for you so that you get a break? I really really need some time out, I'm totally running on empty.

Dp would take him out but I'd quite like to spend some time with him too!

I also don't know what I'd do with some time to myself. I don't want to use it to do housework but that is the most pressing job right now!

Db4d haven't got any other book; the no cry sleep solution would be the best, as I think most other are more sleep training. Find a way to not co sleep and let us know!!! I ache sooo much from it!!

Nails I get no support at all from my parents, they live in the next village and have met DS a handful of times. The inlaws are great, but they don't get the high needs thing, so DS cries a lot with them, so I don't leave him with them for more info than 1/2 hr. What's me time?!! I've forgotten!!

God same here though, get soooo burnt out. Wish he'd settle with someone else so I could have a break. Would also be nice to know other mums in 'real' life with high needs babies, all the others I know have sleepy docile babies, so difficult not to compare. They sit there at lunch while the baby gurgles in the pram, and I'm stood up jiggle bobbing like a mad man!!

Haha pixie me too. I'm always the one eating my lunch standing up if I dare go out!

My mum is awesome and lives 5 mins up the road. She's so patient with him but she works full time so can only help at weekends really.

Where is everyone based? We are in Oxfordshire.

Llama that's great that your mum is fab! Can we all borrow her please?!

I'm in Cambridgeshire

I'm v lucky. She absolutely adores him. She says I was the same when I was little!

Hope everyone has an ok night. Last two here have been chaos! I'm exhausted. Off to bed now. Night all!

Can I borrow your mum too? I feel so bad leaving DS with people too because I don't think they'll cope with him.

We're in Kent

Oh and yes to the jiggly whilst at lunch. And trying to have a conversation between singing baa baa black sheep right in DS' face because that's how he likes it

Wheels on the bus (the baby on the bus goes waa waa waa) is the song of choice here!

Haha I'll have to work out a rate if I'm going to rent my mum out! She is the only person I can happily leave him with. DH is pretty good but can't really cope when he is grizzly. He just sort of ignores his cries and keeps doing whatever he was doing, it's almost like he can't hear ds protesting?! This morning I got out of the shower and could hear ds crying so I raced through getting dry and went downstairs and DH was making ds 'practice rolling over'. I actually had to point out that he wasn't entirely enjoying it and perhaps it was time to stop?!! As for MiL I don't like leaving him with her even for long enough to have a shower cos she thinks we need to leave him to cry because he is so demanding.

He just slept for 3 hours so quite chuffed. Also doesn't sound too snotty so fingers crossed for the rest of the night!

What sort of lighting do you all have on at night? I've had a small low lamp on til recently but now he is bigger and more aware he just tries to nosey around at night when I'm feeding so tonight I've just got the gro clock and a night light to see if that works better. My eye sight is lousy so I need a fair bit of light to work by!

I'm in Gloucestershire.

Thankfully mum is great, helps out loads. They live 5 min drive away. I was 'the same' as a baby so mum gets it. Inlaws pretty good as they don't try inflicting ideas and opinions on us, however at times they seem a bit scared to hold DD which I'm a bit sad about as they are so close to their other grandchild. I haven't really left DD alone for long but could definitely do with a break!

I know what you mean llama I'm starting to think they really do hear them differently to us...I was talking to someone at baby group the other day about it. She was getting annoyed with her DH watching tv and staring at his phone whilst holding crying baby and vaguely jiggling her. Err..that isn't gona cut it!!

We have a grolight which is good for nappy changes but I'd say too bright for feeding. I feed DD in total darkness! Have previously put the shaving light on in the bathroom across the hallway to give just enough light. Could you put the lamp in hall/next room? Or swap your lightbulb in the next room for a really dim one?

pixie Haha we'll see how the cot works out... I'm toying with the idea of taking our bed frame out and having our mattress on the floor, with her mattress on the floor next to it. Seems quite extreme though!
I got the no cry sleep solution book so will hopefully get to read it while DD naps!

How was everyone's night? DD was awake quite a bit, think cause of weaning!

Ohhh Glos isn't that far...

Ha, yes DH does that too, gets in a techno trance with tv/ipad/phone/laptop and ignores DS. He does it to me too. Very annoying. Not sending a great message to DS either. Think its the inability to multitask...?!

I think I need to experiment with lighting, I couldn't cope with complete darkness, I'm impressed you manage to feed in darkness. DH always reckoned he needed pitch dark to sleep, and when I was heavily pregnant I fell over one night getting up go the loo cos it was frigging pitch black. I had a total meltdown (I wasn't well and had a kidney infection so it was the last straw really!). From that night on DH has slept no problem with a nightlight so I could see when I got out of bed for a wee 50 times a night. I don't plan on going back to pitch black as I can't handle it and he obviously doesn't need complete darkness in order to sleep!

Good luck with the cot. Currently I use ours as a playpen only! At least it is being used I guess.

Our night was ok. He went to bed at 6:30pm! He was exhausted. Then woke for feeds at 9pm and 11pm and 2am, then woke and did a massive poo at 3:30am, it took an hour to get him back off (I put the slumber buddy lights on and it did help to lull him off) but he then slept til 6:30am, so all in all pretty good after the previous few nights. I definitely feel better cos I went to bed at 8:30pm.

We made it to a baby group this morning, he enjoyed it and loved the songs at the end. While they were packing away I fed him and then put him in his car seat and while I was putting my coat on he fell asleep! In the car seat! WOW! The others Mums that I know were all amazed too cos they know what he's like! Ha!

Llama yep the men seem to not notice the grizzling. Too focused on what they're up to! I use a red plug night light, Ebay £4. Was using blue but blue is supposed to inhibit sleep.

What is it with men and phones / iPads etc! Jiggle baby on knee while looking on Facebook, then they wonder why the littles one cry, uh derrrr!

My DH is in the habit of tickling DS when he wakes up, and wonders why he cries..... Who on earth wants to be tickled when they've just woken up?!!!!

Llama he fell asleep in a non moving car seat.....?!!! Did you drug him?!!! Lol

Haha littlepixie, I'd punch someone if they tickled me when I'd just woken up.

I've got a cold too. I'm meant to be having a lie-in this morning but I'm very awake and need to pee so I'll be getting up in a mo.

And DS is shrieking downstairs which I'm guessing means he wants boobie.

My hips!!!! This can't go on! my whole body aches from carrying DD around all day. Sleeping on my side so she can snack all night doesn't appear to help either! Anyone else in pain??

I think DD's really overtired. I've been trying to make bed time a bit later the last few nights and she's been miserable. Last night put her (and me) to bed at 5.30pm She woke up at 6.30am 😮 obviously there were a few moments during the night but she didn't wake at 5.30 like she normally does. Probably a fluke!

Ooh I'm gona get one of those red night lights... The grolight is blue. You'd think they'd make them a warmer colour!

llama I bet you couldn't believe your eyes when he went to sleep in his car seat!

I too would physically hurt someone who tickled me upon waking!

Db4d yep, hips hurt, lower back and shoulders! All from co sleeping, then carrying makes it worse sleeping with a holster or thick pillow in between your legs helps to support the upper leg so can help.

What are we going to do with these babies?! My cot is set up as a side car so going to try to get him into that.........:. Think I'll read the no cry sleep solution again, and try to actually stick to it.........

Most nights I swap sides
A. Because the little monkey doesn't like to comfort suck from the same side twice.
B. To help alleviate the aching

I know you're not supposed to have them In between yourself and you man, but it's never been an issue. But last night I woke as 4am to find DS sideways with his head squashed up to DH's back, luckily he hasn't gone under the covers. Worried now about swapping sides.......