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Sleep

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Original poster

Not sure what to do but have to try something

64 replies

Spod · 26/04/2004 10:48

Ok... I'm now sleep deprived enough! Our dd is 6.5 months and is leaving me exhausted. She goes down in her cot (in my room) at night around 8pm after a bf... that parts fine. I dream feed her around 11pm and she goes back in her cot...fine. Its the rest of the night thats the problem - ie when i need to sleep. Sometimes she wakes at 2, sometimes 3, or 4am.... normally just once as i then bring her in bed with me as i'm too tired to put her back in her cot. I know that shes only hungry when it gets to aboyut 3.30 at the earliest, not before. But when she in bed with me it feels as though shes snacking all the time, hence i get very little deep sleep. I think its now become a habit, she now rarely takes a milk feed in the day before 4pm (she has 2 solid meals a day now too). I havent minded too much till now as shes been teething, but her second tooth cut yesterday so i wanna get more sleep now. She also has a problem with daytime sleep... normally only managing 2 spells of around 40 mins..... but shes always been a poor daytime sleeper. what can i try ? i dont wanna do cc. When she was around 16 weeks she started to sleep for 7 hours without waking, but she was going to bed at midnight with me (but her in her cot iyswim) any suggestions would be great;ly appreciated. thanks.

OP posts:

bunnyrabbit · 19/05/2004 11:31

Hi Spod,
You poor thing.... you must be knackered!

I haven't read the whole thread, but are you breastfeeding her at 4am? Will she take a bottle? If so, have you thought of letting DH give her a bottle of either EBM/formula or water? If she is hungry/thirsty she'll take it, if not she'll realise she's not gonna get 'mummy' soon enough and if its just a comfort/habit thing hopefully this will break the habit.

Just a suggestion....

samwifewithkid · 19/05/2004 12:09

Don't think this will help, but we put our dd in her own bedroom at 5 months, I refused her a night bf after that, just popped in and out again to show her I was still around. Then she slept through from about 6 months. (once she got the message that night feeds had finished) This was fine for me to do as she was quite a big baby and I felt she didn't need a night feed, it was more for comfort.

elliott · 19/05/2004 13:28

Spod personally I wouldn't wake her to feed at 11pm - she's old enough now to be aiming for a full night's sleep, and waking her up is not going to help her learn that.
I also think she's demonstrated that she doesn't need feeding at night and therefore I think it would be better for you if you just stopped doing it - every time you do it it is reinforcing for her that its worth waking and crying until she gets the comfort of the boob (but I absolutely understand why you do it - when you're exhausted you'll do anything and boobs are just way too accessible!!)
My personal view is that cc would work for you and be much easier now than later.
For the record, I've also stopped feeding ds2 in the night. he has woken on occasion but I find that it works best if I don't go in to him - I've never found a way of 'settling' that doesn't just prolong the crying! - and he tends to get himself back to sleep within a few minutes (though we have had perhaps one or two occasions of more prolonged crying). So we are pretty much there with respect to sleeping through. I do believe though that consistency helps a lot, whatever strategy you adopt (e.g. pu/pd, cc or just crying it out).
Good luck and much sympathy to you.

Original poster

Spod · 19/05/2004 20:50

thanks for the continued support, it really does help... i reckon i have 2 choices...
first, go back to no feeding till 6am, with dh going in to her and offering comfort and water OR try cc. What EXACtLY would i do with cc? if i do try it i wanna get it dead right cos i am such a wuss i cant bear to hear her cry for long, especilly when she's crying 'mamamamamamama', its just awful. but at the end of the cc may work and me and dh are knackered. we always give her a few mins to re settle herself when she does cry, but some nights sh just cant. part of the problem is at the moment she just doesnt seem capable of farting by herself!!! dh calls himself the assistant farter.... so what do you think? The 'comfort her back to sleep' thing did seem to be working (before the teething bolloxed everything).....

OP posts:

elliott · 19/05/2004 21:30

hmmmm, well since I never did 'proper' cc I'm not the best person to advise - but I think it is a good idea to read about it first as I think understanding it helps you to see it through, if you decide to do that. I would recommend Ferber's book on sleep. Even if you decide against it will help you understand sleep better.
My own method is simply to shut the door and retreat....I can understand you not wanting to do that, but for me I find it easier not to be near them when they are crying. If I tried to cuddle ds2 to comfort him then within about 30seconds I would end up feeding him....
I noticed on another thread you think dd might be getting a bit hyper and overtired in the evening - this might be one reason she's unsettled through the night. Do you think she's napping enough in the day?
Anyway I think stopping the night feeds is the first step, and if once you've managed that consistently and she's still waking, you may need to think about some other strategy.

Original poster

Spod · 19/05/2004 22:25

thanks... her daytime naps have always been a problem as she just cant seem to stay asleep long enough... some days she will have a 2 hour nap in morning. but most days its around an hour in morning and an hour in afternoon.... she's never seemed to need longer. if i were to walk her in her buggy for hours i'm sure she would sleep longer, but that wouldnt help her learnt to sleep. have tried daytime naps in cot and she refuses, and on the occaisions she does relent, its only a short nap. feel like i'm getting it all wrong.

OP posts:

two · 21/05/2004 17:45

Hello there

Haven't read full extent of this thread, so am maybe repeating someone else but have been highly recommeded Elizabeth Pantley No-Sleep Solution (was asking around on behalf of my sister) and having taken a look, it seems really fantastic. The person who recommended it didn't want to cc but had real trouble with sleepless nights, and she said it worked wonders.

Jxx

two · 21/05/2004 17:47

Sorry!

It's No-Cry Sleep Solution!!! And it's a gently gently approach which apparently shapes a schedule around your individual baby's needs and does not involve leaving your baby to cry.

Original poster

Spod · 22/05/2004 10:25

sounds good two..... whats involved? we had a great night, the night before last when she slept through again, but last night was awful again.... am so tired, I'll try anything

OP posts:

two · 26/05/2004 11:35

Hi Spod

Sorry to be a while but only do this from part-time job!!! There has to be one benefit to having to work and not be with children!

It's basically a slow but sure approach to sleep which I think involves writing down what your child is doing, what you yourself are doing and gradually trying to identify what is contributing to child's sleeplessness.

I read afew reviews on the internet and it seemed in theory a really nice approach with all types of family in mind.

I asked for recommendation on babycentre cos my sister b/f and has much more erratic sleep patterns than my chidlren (sadly I had to bottlefeed). Her son is 8 months (same age as my daughter).The woman who had used it and recommended it said it was popular with her and her friends but beyond that I don't know much more. My sister has started reading it and is going to give it a go. My sister's situation sounds very very much like yours.

re the daytime sleep tho. If you sort out nightime, I think the daytime sounds normal. My dd1 used to sleep for about 2-3hrs in day but my dd2 has never needed much - at the moment her max is 1.5 hrs in half hour intervals (8mnths). As long as she's happy then I am not worried. Tho, obv cos you don't get a rest at night, I'm sure it feels very gruelling!!!!

Have a look at the reviews on the net - just type in the title. I think you'll find them really helpful.

Good luck

Jxxxx

two · 26/05/2004 18:01

ps away til next wed, but if u pick this up, let me know how you get on

eclaire · 27/05/2004 08:36

Hi
I found out just recently as I was feeding my ds a dream feed (5 1/2months) and he was waking restless all the time in the night. Sometimes he would wake and go back to sleep after leaving him for 1-3 mins, sometimes he would wake up and I would BF to get him back to sleep. This all happened after previously sleeping through from 11pm-7pm without having him wake up at all at about 4 months.
One night I couldn't be bothered waking him for a dream feed as I was knackered and I just left him thinking I would feed him when he woke and he slept all night from 7.30pm till 7pm. Boy what a surprise that was for me!! Anyway he continued to do that! I don't know wether that coinsided with me also starting him on breakfast as well as he was previously on 2 meals a day. Maybe up the solids also and try to cut the milk feeds at night slowly so that dd is eating and drinking more in the day and less milk at night.
Also I can recommend a routine as he really does work. Even if it is feed>play>sleep. Sleep begets sleep and if they sleep well also in the day then they will sleep better at night.

Original poster

Spod · 27/05/2004 20:46

hi eclaire.... sounds like nights are great at your house!! i'm envious! i have cut out all night feeds for over a week now... and she eats loads of solids in the day too (except when teething... but she has more milk those days) she has no problem going down at night, ie theres no resistence to bedtime, and we do have a routine... with 30 mins or so most days... bedtime is alsways at the same time, wake time is variable though. i dont know what to do about her daytime sleeping, she wakes up 40 mins on the dot, everytime... she demands naps too!! so i know shes tired, but when she wakes she is full of beans... just dont think she needs more sleep in te day. think also part of her nighttime waking at the moment is just for reassurance, as often when dh goes in, he holds her hand and she drops off again! but i think wind is her big sleep problem... need to try something else for it! fennel tea aint working!

OP posts:

eclaire · 27/05/2004 21:22

Hi
I also had a problem with wind sometimes especially early on and found that if I winded him before putting down for a nap or to bed it helped heaps. Somedays still when I don't think that he has wind he will burp a couple of burps just before I put him into bed. I have incorprated this into his bed/nap routine now and it has helped heaps. Still though he will wake from a nap after a hour and not have wind as he is also not a huge day sleeper. Usually a 1hr nap x2 a day and that is all he needs. Sounds that things are going better for you and getting dh to get up is a great idea so that they don't need you or a bf to get back to sleep.

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