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Original poster

please help, doing cc now and it's awful

116 replies

Evita · 14/04/2004 20:59

Dd's been getting worse and worse about going to bed in her cot. It's been mostly in the day but tonight it's happened when I put her down at her usual time and she's just not going to sleep. She's standing up saying 'mamma' over and over in the most pathetic little voice and I'm only going in every 15 minutes to repeat it's time to sleep and lying her down and leaving very quickly.

Are there some kids that cc just doesn't work with?

OP posts:
gothicmama · 14/04/2004 21:06

Did not work with mine but you are doing everything right i think has something happened differently today that may be worrying her, Just adding this to bump you up Keep trying thinking of you

popsycal · 14/04/2004 21:08

keep going evita
i was so against it but did it at 17 months and was really glad i did

Original poster
Evita · 14/04/2004 21:16

It's truly awful. In a way I would mind it less if she was screaming. But that calling for me is almost unbearable. I've given in with her daytime naps and taken her out in the pram the last few days but obviously I can't do that at night time. I've been a bit spoilt with her up until now, she's been a really good sleeper, this is the first time I've had to do this. I don't know what's changed, she just doesn't want to be left on her own. She's become more clingy and more affectionate lately which is lovely but it also makes me more clingy and affectionate and I can't bear to leave her.

OP posts:
gothicmama · 14/04/2004 21:21

Keep strong - advice I was given included put stereo on , tv etc. Is your DP or DH there at the moment to give you support. It is harder I think for mums to do this

aloha · 14/04/2004 21:23

Evita, how long has it been? Keep posting. Do sympathise. How old is she now?

insanidee · 14/04/2004 21:25

been doing CC with dd2 as well. she settled down within 15mins last night, and went straight to sleep tonight. took about a week but have got there in the end. i know she just does it for attention because as soon as she hears me on the steps she stops screaming and climbs back to her bed. my dad was gonna go up and tell her to get to bed last night but i had to tell him to leave her for 5mins before i went up to deal with her.

hope it gets better soon.

Original poster
Evita · 14/04/2004 21:29

She's 18 months. Is that a typical age?

I'm so exhausted and tearful about it I can hardly type, just been sitting here staring at the screen with my head in my hands.

2 hours now.

OP posts:
Flip · 14/04/2004 21:32

It worked with my ds1 but we did have to lock his bedroom door which was heart breaking. I used to go out in the garden and talk to one of the neighbours just so I couldn't hear him. He screamed none stop for three hours one night and I actually fell asleep listening to him. Since then I don't hear him in the night anymore so dh always get's up.

crystaltips · 14/04/2004 21:32

Keep Going ......

DD did this at 18 months ... but she was between 2am and 5 am

GOD it's awful ..... BUT - so is sleepless nights for you .... It DOES get worse before it get's better ....

But there is nothing worse with you trying to look after a child when you are tired and knackered ....

Keep Posting {{{ HUGS {}}}}

tabitha · 14/04/2004 21:37

I have vivid memories of doing this with my dd2 when she was about 18 months - she's now 13! I remember sitting at the bottom of the stairs listening to her screaming for about 1 1/2 hours. Every time I went to her she just stood there in her cot, smiling and holding her hands out for me to lift her out, and every time I went away she started screaming again.
Can't remember how long it took but don't think it was too long and there were no lasting psychological effects. Well, not for her anyway, I still have the mental scars

gemilou · 14/04/2004 21:39

if you can send someone else up it might help, my ds2 used to call for me and it would take hours somenites, Dh used to go up and was really firm with him and kept telling him no its time for sleep. It used to break my heart listening to him. He has grown out of it though and goes to sleep like a little darling now. She will get better

Original poster
Evita · 14/04/2004 21:42

There's only me here. I'm weakening to be honest, thinking of turning in early and letting her go to sleep on me. It's been going on for ages, she sounds wretched.

OP posts:
aloha · 14/04/2004 21:42

Oh, Evita. How hard for you. Tell all. What's it like. How often are you going in? What happens when you do? how often does she normally wake? What would be your ideal? Did you feed her in the night?

Babyannabel · 14/04/2004 21:43

If you can then definately send someone else up - I am sure they see Mummy as a soft touch! We tried saying in a soothing way "schhhh" not SCHUUCCHH but really gently to let her know we hadn't abandoned her, but were not going to come into her room for a party! Keep going, it will be worth all this pain I promise.

crystaltips · 14/04/2004 21:44

Don't Go!!

It sounds hard ... but otherwise you are making a rod for your own back ...

CHAT TO US INSTEAD

We'll go on for longer !!!

gemilou · 14/04/2004 21:44

You can always try agian tomorrow, sleep is important for you too (Hugs)

gemilou · 14/04/2004 21:45

My ds2 definatly saw me as a soft touch

goosey · 14/04/2004 21:45

Evita, do what your heart tells you to do. Your own instinct is stronger and wiser than anything else. (((hugs)))

aloha · 14/04/2004 21:47

Is your partner there Evita? It helps to share the burden - on the other hand, if it really isn't working, you may need another approach. What's happening now?

allatsea · 14/04/2004 21:49

hang on Evita big hugs (()), whenever we've done this I keep saying to myself if i give in now the last hours/days/week has been wasted, try to stick with it now you've started

twiglett · 14/04/2004 21:49

message withdrawn

aloha · 14/04/2004 21:54

Evita???

Original poster
Evita · 14/04/2004 21:55

Thanks SO much for your support. I don't think I'm cut out for this.

She's now become basically totally exhausted, standing with her head resolutely on her arm leaning against the cot bars saying my name over and over pretty much in her sleep. I've been going in every 15 minutes to lie her down and leave quickly. This time she was too exhausted to stand up again and I think she'll go to sleep but it's been 2.5 hours of absolute misery for both of us and she's only going to sleep out of utter exhaustion. I feel awful, really awful. And what if something's wrong with her or she was scared of the dark and I've just abandoned her. This will definitely not work for daytime sleeps.

OP posts:
jojobingo · 14/04/2004 21:57

I have been doing CC for 2 days - it is something I am totally against but I got to the end of my tether with the sleep thing. My dd is 17 months and it seems to be really working - am so pleasantly surprised. She cried for 2 hours on night 1 and 5 minutes on night 2. I told myself that she was safe, to keep at it and see it as an experiment - if it does not work in a week then go back - you cannot do any harm in the meantime - the day after we did cc my dd was on the best form! Good luck.

aloha · 14/04/2004 22:00

Darling, don't worry about daytime sleeps right now. I NEVER used it in the daytime - couldn't bear it - and don't stress over how she will be in the morning. HOnestly, we did this with ds (one hidous failed attempt - more than three hours of screaming - ghasty - and the easy version - just grizzing and cross crying at 8months - and he honestly was no less loving and happy towards us afterwards. if anything, more so, because he was so happy to have a good night's sleep. I've been doing research into circadian rythms, and really a good night's sleep is SO vital for your health and for your daughter's health. Proper sleep stops you getting cancer, improves your metabolism, stimulates growth hormone and all sorts. Think of her as if she is asking for chocolate or to put her fingers in the electricity socket. She is too young to know how important sleep is to her health, but you can do it for her. I do understand - totally - how hard it is though. I really think you deserve a drink.

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