Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

please help, doing cc now and it's awful

116 replies

Evita · 14/04/2004 20:59

Dd's been getting worse and worse about going to bed in her cot. It's been mostly in the day but tonight it's happened when I put her down at her usual time and she's just not going to sleep. She's standing up saying 'mamma' over and over in the most pathetic little voice and I'm only going in every 15 minutes to repeat it's time to sleep and lying her down and leaving very quickly.

Are there some kids that cc just doesn't work with?

OP posts:
Babyannabel · 14/04/2004 22:00

You poor poor thing. When you've cracked this, it will really work for daytime sleeps because they learn to be happy in their beds and secure enough to settle themselves to sleep. We all really feel for you, and only you know how much you both can take of this, but you've made a good start and THIS WILL WORK, it never takes more than a week (so I've been told!) and you will both be happier in the long run.

jodiemay · 14/04/2004 22:01

I had the same when I was trying to get Jack into a routine. I found that I was better at not giving in, than dh, so started when he was on a late shift at work. At first I started by putting all the toys away at 7pm, then letting him have his bottle of milk, then at 8, awake or not, it was time to go to bed, at first it was awful and he screamed so much that he was soaking wet with perspiration (my mw advised me to leave him for 10 mins to start), he had worked himself into a puddle, poor boy. So then I went in after 10 mins, kisses and cuddles and rocked him til he went to sleep. The next night I increased the time to 15 minutes, don't get me wrong, he cried just as much but nowhere near as bad as the first night, and gradually I increased the time that I left him to cry before I went in to him, and believe it or not, he actually gave up after 2 weeks! He now goes down at 8pm, and if he's awake he just lays there watching his fishy Tomy thing that lights up and plays the sounds of waves crashing against the shore. I am so glad that I persevered, although at the time, I didn't think that I could cope with much more.

twiglett · 14/04/2004 22:01

message withdrawn

gemilou · 14/04/2004 22:03

Well done Evita, get some sleep you sound like you need it (hugs)

Original poster
Evita · 14/04/2004 22:07

Thanks again everyone, your support's much appreciated. I am going to bed myself now. You know when you feel kind of bruised and battered and the only thing you can do is sleep?

Does anyone know why this sort of thing starts to happen? Is it an age thing? Dd's been going to sleep by herself day and night since about 9 months old. She always grumbled a bit but has only just started screaming etc.

I really hope it doesn't happen again tomorrow.

OP posts:
twiglett · 14/04/2004 22:09

message withdrawn

misty · 14/04/2004 22:28

Evita

To be honest the first time you do this is ALWAYS the worst IMO. We have had to do it with DS 1 and 2, in fact we did 'extinction' which sounds awful - and is! We tried the CC and it didn't work so the health visitor advised us to just leave them, don't go in at all and in fact this worked really well - they dont get upset again every time you leave, cause you just don't go in at all. Both were about the same age as your dd as well so it's def a stage a lot of them seem to go through.
The first night they screamed for 3 hrs, second night 1/2 hr, third night straight through so it is def worth perservering - just be aware it might take more than one night, but they wont be as bad as tonight has been and you will see progress being made.
I used to think to myself 'I've got this far, I can't give in now or all that screaming would have been for nothing'
You've done so well tonight, try and have a good nights sleep and you will both feel a hundred times better tomorrow. If you don't feel you can do it though, don't beat yourself up about it, you've just got to do what feels right. Good luck

aloha · 14/04/2004 22:38

Goodnight Evita. You wait, none of your fears will come true. Talk tomorrow?

frogs · 15/04/2004 09:24

Hope your night was OK.

I've only had to do this when they got in the habit of waking during an illness and carried on waking after they were better.

I agree with misty that going in repeatedly can make things worse I tended to just leave them to yell, as I felt going in just spurred them on to new heights of yelling. I've never heard it called extinction, though that sounds terrible!

I think with all of these things you have to believe it's the right thing to do and that it's going to work -- if you have mixed feelings they somehow sense it and make ten times more fuss.

Original poster
Evita · 15/04/2004 13:50

Thanks once more to you lovely supportive mums.

I've got mixed feelings about the going in and out. I agree that on one hand it makes dd worse, but she's so persistent and is just standing at the bars falling asleep with her head on her arms and at least I keep reminding her to lie down when I go in.

Anyway, she slept through last night but was totally knackered this morning as she's normally asleep at 7.30 so was 2.5 hours later than usual. This afternoon she's gone for her nap with me only having to go in once, but she really didn't have the energy to resist that much today!

You may see me all pathetic and weepy here again tonight ...

OP posts:
gothicmama · 15/04/2004 14:11

Well done - it is nice to have the support here so I 'll try to be on line tonight although you have done one night and know that it can be done

bloss · 15/04/2004 14:47

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 15/04/2004 14:59

I did CC with DD after Christmas when she was 20 months. I was really against it before hand and had just gotten to the point where I had to try something.

My diary

Despite being very sceptical it did work though. We are now 4 months down the road. DD has just turned 2. Her night time sleep is like a miracle now. She goes to bed at 7:30pm (ish) and has a story, then we go out leaving a night light on, and she goes off to sleep. Wakes again around 7am. Rarely wakes int he night anymore either.

It really can work, but you have to be persistent.

donnie · 15/04/2004 15:37

poor you evita...I have been there !it is awful but as other mums have said it pays off in the end. Keep going....good luck and have a big glass of red 2nite!

aloha · 15/04/2004 15:46

I bet that even though she's tired (don't let her sleep all day - being a little tiny bit more tired than usual will probably help tonight) she isn't any less loving or happy today. Good luck for tonight. It might well be much, much less hard than you think. Have a drink if you want and post/call a friend if you feel wobbly.

Original poster
Evita · 15/04/2004 19:56

Here we go again ... only 20 minutes in and already I feel awful.

bloss, we've never really had a problem with dd waking in the night except when ill or having bad teething problems. This is a new thing and it's entirely to do with being put to bed day or night. I don't know what's started it and I hope I'm not missing an illness or anything like that. Thanks for your warning about 3rd / 5th night 'relapse' I'll look out for that.

Thanks everyone else too for the advice. Hulababy I'll read your diary now to get me through this next block of crying!

OP posts:
gothicmama · 15/04/2004 20:03

Keep on going just bumping you up the list keep positive

Hulababy · 15/04/2004 20:05

Good luck Evita

Heathcliffscathy · 15/04/2004 20:06

don't give up now evita

popsycal · 15/04/2004 20:07

keep going evita
i was soooooo against it but did it when at the end of my tether after xmas - sooooo glad i did it!

Original poster
Evita · 15/04/2004 20:07

Miracle: she's gone to sleep. To be honest I think she was so absolutely exhausted tonight that she couldn't put up a struggle. So I'm not counting my chickens or anything. I imagine on a less sleepy night I may be in for a storm. But hey, what a relief!

OP posts:
collision · 15/04/2004 20:11

Well done for persevering! It is SO hard but when if finally works it is fantastic! It only took ds a couple of nights of us being strong and now he sleeps for about 12-13 hours a night and if he wakes up he goes back to sleep on his own.

gothicmama · 15/04/2004 20:15

EXCELLENT news

Toots · 15/04/2004 20:18

You're doing the right thing Evita. She needs her sleep and you need your peace.

Heathcliffscathy · 15/04/2004 20:19

hooray!

Swipe left for the next trending thread