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Original poster

please help, doing cc now and it's awful

116 replies

Evita · 14/04/2004 20:59

Dd's been getting worse and worse about going to bed in her cot. It's been mostly in the day but tonight it's happened when I put her down at her usual time and she's just not going to sleep. She's standing up saying 'mamma' over and over in the most pathetic little voice and I'm only going in every 15 minutes to repeat it's time to sleep and lying her down and leaving very quickly.

Are there some kids that cc just doesn't work with?

OP posts:
hercules · 17/04/2004 20:14

Staying with her until she goes asleep in the cot seems a good idea. I think at this age we read to ds until he went to sleep.

maisystar · 17/04/2004 20:17

evita, could you put her to bed in your bed and stay while she goes to sleep then leave her in your bed? (rather than moving her).

Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:18

The thing is, she won't go to sleep in the cot if I'm there either. She'll go to sleep in my arms in her bedroom but as soon as she's in the cot she's bolt awake again. I've always longed to sit and read her to sleep, I wouldn't have the slightest problem with it but she just won't sleep like that. Too nosy by half!

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Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:20

maisystar, our bed's in the lounge (small flat) so not an option.

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Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:20

The thing is, she won't go to sleep in the cot if I'm there either. She'll go to sleep in my arms in her bedroom but as soon as she's in the cot she's bolt awake again. I've always longed to sit and read her to sleep, I wouldn't have the slightest problem with it but she just won't sleep like that. Too nosy by half!

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hercules · 17/04/2004 20:22

At first we spent a long time reading till he slept through tiredness. When he got olderwe limited the time. He has now a huge collection of books and is the best reader in his class!

Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:33

But would he have been standing up in the cot chatting to you while you read? And occasionally letting rip a wail to be in the cot at all?!

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maisystar · 17/04/2004 20:36

dont know how you feel about co sleeping but if your dd's bedrm is big enough maybe a dble bed in there then u can sleep with her if she needs the comfort of her mum. she will grow out of it. i live on my own with ds and sometimes get a bit spooked and put him in bed with me. quite often he will then bugger off back to his own bed!!!

Hulababy · 17/04/2004 20:36

Evita - have you seen my message for you? Just want to check.

hercules · 17/04/2004 20:39

we coslept so a bit different evita. I or dh would lie next to him and read to him, interacting with him and the book. Tbh it could take up to an hour at times of reading but he loved it and always fell asleep. We would then leave him on the bed and leave him there when we went to bed.

Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:39

No, Hulababy, where is it?

maisystar I can imagine that would work for middle of the night wakings but (at the moment!) they're not a real problem, it's just getting her off to sleep in the first place. Also have to say that dp is really v. noisy in the night and gets up and down quite a bit. We used to all share a room but in the end were keeping dd awake!

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Clayhead · 17/04/2004 20:41

hercules, we did the same until dd was 24 months, then did same routine but in her bed

Hulababy · 17/04/2004 20:41

Here

maisystar · 17/04/2004 20:44

evita, could your dp and dd sleep in the bdrm together and keep each other awake while u get a good nights sleep in the lounge....just a thought

Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 20:44

I'm taking all your points to heart, hercules, they're much appreciated. I think there needs to be a change in the room she sleeps in, a bit of light, a bit more time in it before she goes to sleep etc. I usually read her her story in the lounge on my knee as it's much more comfortable (no real space in her room) and then we say bye bye to all her things in the room and I carry her to her room, give her a long cuddle and cosy chat and pop her in the cot. But the room is really very dark and maybe the transition is too rapid for her now she's getting so much more conscious of herself / us. This has all coincided with her becoming much more affectionate and demanding in the daytime too so she's obviously changing in character and I think I have to change the way I'm doing things. It's not as if I have to 'teach her to go to sleep on her own' as she's been doing that for so long now. I think she needs to teach me how she likes to be put to bed!

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hercules · 17/04/2004 20:45

The light sounds a good idea Evita.

Hulababy · 17/04/2004 20:48

Evita - my DD doesn't like a dark room at all. WE bought a normal lamp and have a night light bulb on in it all night. Makes a huge difference for her. Tried just leaving hall light on and door ajar but that didn't work for us in the same way.

We also bought a little beanbag cushion for her room which we sit on to read the bed time story (DD has toddler bed so easier than with cot). We then have a cuddle and kiss and DD always says our bedtime rhyme "Nighty night, watch the bugs don't bite" which I remember from my childhood. It makes her laugh and is just part of the bedtime routine!

Oh and she always has to have Baby Annabel to cuddle up to on one side, and her soft toys on the other!

Hulababy · 17/04/2004 20:49

Forget other bit. We got one of her little dol's a bed too which is next too her and ealier in evening she puts her baby to bed.

Original poster
Evita · 17/04/2004 21:10

Those are great ideas Hulababy. I've been sitting here thinking about how I can try to shift things round in her room a bit to make it more cosy and maybe get a chair in there that I can sit in to read to her, cuddle etc. with a low light on. She'd absolutely love the idea of putting her toys to bed next to her, she's very into them. Is a night light bulb like an ordinary bulb but just lower level?

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Clayhead · 17/04/2004 21:15

We use these from Argos . Totally unexciting but do the trick. 7W bulbs.

Hulababy · 17/04/2004 22:58

Normal bulb just lower wattage. Bulb is a different colour too - looks reddish, but not when light. Or at least the ones in Asda were! Really low wattage. Just got DD a normal lamp - pretty, grily one - again cheap from Asda, I let her choose it which again helped.

karen99 · 18/04/2004 20:14

These are all really good ideas.

Fingers crossed for you tonight Evita.

littlerach · 18/04/2004 20:42

Not sure if this is any help to you, with my stepson, DH was told to break the cycle at night time: He used to cuddle him to sleep. It took a couple of wks, basically, DH went from cuddling him to stroking hair, then holding hand, then sitting by bed, then by the dr, then outside the dr, then on the stairs, but not making eye contact etc, just sitting. We did a similar thoing with DD when she was about a yr old as she stopped sleeping on her own and wanted us.
At the end of the day, it is a personal choice, if you do CC it can take a whoile and make you feel lousy, but generally it does work.
Your ideas about her room sound good, try it!!
How has she been tonight?

Ixel · 18/04/2004 20:46

Sorry to butt in, but can someone tell me ...what is the right age to do the 'leaving him to cry' thing? what is still too young? I don't want to be responsible for permanemt emotional scarring. How do I know when it's changed from crying because he really can't put himself to sleep?

Original poster
Evita · 18/04/2004 20:49

Ok, how about this? It may be a fluke as dd isn't too well today, v. tired and off her food so may have just decided to go down without a struggle ... but ... today dp and I changed her room around and made it MUCH nicer, including a little 'story reading' chair next to her cot and a nice low light and some choice toys around and a doll put to sleep in a cardboard box bed on the floor! So after usual bathtime, pajama routine I took her in, shut the door and gave her some milk and we looked at her favourite book. I told her 'I'm going to turn the light out in a minute so you can have a lovely sleep' and gave her lots of hair stroking and cuddles. Turned the light out, popped her in, left the room. Not a peep! She just rolled over and crashed out.

As I say, it may be a fluke and I may be back pulling my hair out in a day or two, but well, if it worked it's such a relief. I could have really battled with cc when in this case it wasn't what was needed. I think she just needed a more grown up approach to her bedtime on my part. I got stuck in a rut of how I've done things for ages and didn't notice she needed something different.

Can't tell you how glad I am to have had all your responses.

And here's hoping!

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