the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

yesterday was 10 day log day!were filling in questions but nothing really changed but hes more often than not having better naps and going to bed without sucking his bottle and only having water in night so thats progress surely!
wow sweetkitty,sleeping till 6 whatever next!thats amazing!
in regards to last post sorry to any one else that took offence,i guess i felt too comfortable talking to others that share ncss view and forgot it was public forum.sorry.

Hello sleepy mummies. I've not been online for a few days so it was good to see how you're all doing.
I'm feeling shit today after a few days of optimism. I started weaning DD from bf during the night last night (offering formula and water instead) and although she did cry a bit I felt ok, she wasn't distressed, i was with her and its obvious she's not actually hungry just used to bf. I think I'm just totally exhausted again and full of dread about days and days of even less sleep as i try to stop night-time bf. I now think this is the key though but i just don't know if I've got the inner resources to keep going, its so tempting to just feed her myself because although its not enough sleep its definitely the way to the most sleep on offer (in the short term). DP is being great and is full of support and reassurance. I'm just sick of this whole thing!!!! Sorry to share all my murky thoughts, just needed a big moan. I am really impressed at the progress some of you have made, my DD just seems so set in a three hour schedule that is isn't shifting in spite of my efforts. Hope you are all faring better.

Well back to normal routine last night down at 7ish up at 9 back rub back to sleep then up at 1ish, 4.44am (remember that one exactly) and 6ish, up for day at jusy before 8.

Bottomlessburp - your DD is still little then re weaning am sure it will come back to her soon.

moljam - sounds like progress to me think it is longhaul with ncss even if it gets a little better every 10 days it's better than nothing (she says also trying to convince herself)

momomama - scary but I could have written your post, my DD2 too it's just the comfort of snuggling up to warm Mummy with a nice milky boob to suck on (and who can blame them really). I too think ban the boob at night is the only way to go and am also dreading it as I know it means less sleep than a quick 5 minute BF in the middle of the night. It's so hard isn't it?

sweetkity,lol at you reading it to them,ive been reading ncss to my ds for bedtime story,he doesnt seem to care though!

Thanks sweetkitty, just knowing I'm not alone really helps. My resolve is very weak tonight I'm so tired but I think you're right about stopping bf through the night. Fingers crossed its not hellish! Good nighty night all you sleepy mummies and babies.

I'm seriously thinking of waiting until after Christmas then going for the total ban on boob thing. DD2 will be coming up for her first birthday won't need the milk by then for sure don't think I can face it before that.

Well last night went as follows...started being put down around 6ish with bf then moved to cot but took a while to settle. Up at 9 and offered bottle of formula which she took a bit of initially but then refused. She was then awake and cried on and off for two hours but I held her and comforted her and she finally went off to sleep at 11 (with no bf for the first time ever!!!!!!!!). Up again at 2.41 and had a quick bf (i couldn't face more crying) and asleep again at 2.49. Then up again at 5.39 and again asleep less than 10 minutes later with bf. Slept through until after 7am. Believe it or not that is a massive improvement. I'm going to gradually remove one bf at a time through the night even though all lots of the guru's say this is confusing and prolongs the process. I'm feeling much more confidewnt about my own instincts and ability to move this forward. DD in great mood this morning and mummy much happier too. Sweetkitty my DD is over 1 now and to be honest that was abit of a milestone in my mind and I'm glad I've waited until now to start with the more full on approach, she just seems more robust and secure which made the decision less painful for me. I feel really sad too though because I know I'm now on the way (no matter how long it takes) to weaning from the breast totally and my wee baby is getting bigger and isn't going to need me in the same way as before . The thought of sleep some time soon is making me smile though

momomama - that sounds like a real improvement - congratulations!!

sweetkitty - I think I may have to knock the whole bf thing on the head after Christmas too. Although I hadn't been bf at night when DH was seeing to him, as soon as it was just me & DS it all fell apart. I need to make it so that it's just not an option any more (when, is the next question!!)

DS exploded with snot (and dribbly teething again)this afternoon. it came on all of a sudden & he's just been howling non stop. Initially he couldn't feed (as he couldn't breathe) then just didn't want to (which surprised me as it's No.1 comfort normally) He wouldn't sleep this afternoon so got totally overtired & ended up crying himself sleep over about 2 hours on DH then on me poor soul. Doesn't bode well for tonight.

iris your poor ds!hope hes well soon.
momomama,what a night!glad things seem to be improving.im going to tell you all something that i should probably keep to myself!(because i'll jinx it!)lastnight my ds went down at 7 no problem and only woke at 3 am ,had sip of water and rolled over back to sleep till 7am!!!!!!!!!!!wow!then he had 1 two hour nap just after lunch!and went bed at 7pm again no problems!im sure we'll be up all night but i feel so refreshed!you proberbly all hate me now but i have to tell you as i knew youd understand how amazing that is!

Great to hear the news moljam - it is always good to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope ds is feeling better soon iris66. Teething is nasty and with a cold on top - poor thing

I think your right momomama - we know our lo best and have to decide what to do even if it is not the same as what others say.

I loved your comment about reading parts of ncss to your lo sweetkitty. I like to show my ds other babies sleeping and tell him that that is what he should be doing. He just smiles at me! Just like he does when I try and get him to have a nap!

Well ds is asleep so I should be too. He is on 2 hourly wake ups at night and no interest in food in the day. My dh says about weaning him but I think he would be hungry through the day as well.

Hope the positive nights continue.....

lori how old is your lo?

He's only just 4 months.

Good to hear a few success stories I think even if it's one less wakening feed a night it's a start. I will say that DD2 is getting better at going down at 7pm and not doing the wakening at 8,9,10, 11pm thing she was doing which is a start I suppose. I think last night was 11pm quick BF, 1pm feed, 5pm feed which isn't too horrendous really, I would say I'm actually awake for less than 5 minutes each time probably less, I think that's why I'm so hesitant to withdraw boob completely as I know it will mean a lot less sleep in the short run.

Sleepy vibes to us all for this evening.

Glad to hear some others are having improvements too.
Iris your poor wee baba, hope the cold lifts soon.
Last night no as good with wakenings at 9,11, 1 and 4 but we'll get there. Feeling more positive definitely makes the tiredness more bearable. Hope there were good nights all round.
sweetkitty, I think you'll know when the time is right, I just feel its the right time and was way too ambivalent before now to carry it through. trust your instincts.
Moljam I am DELIGHTED for you honestly, not a smidgeon of envy . That really sounds like a breakthrough and you shouldn't feel bad about coming on to share your good news, if there is one thing I feel I need its hope!
Lori, you sound like you're managing well on 2 hour sleeps but its hard. All I can say is I've been there and its awful. Look after yourself and sleep when you can.
Going out for a walk now to try and exhaust DD.

Hello all, i was just revisiting my copy of NCSS and was particularly comforted by the bit near the end where it says that even if you are only managing to follow part of your plan, you are doing some good and will see some improvement. That is where fluffybaby and I are now. Last two nights in a row he has gone to bed without sucking my finger and has slept all night! He still needs finger for daytime naps, and actually is fighting sleep during the day much more now, which makes him very grizzly at nap time, but we are getting there. Glad to hear others are getting there too. Iris, I hope your lo feels better soon!

They're funny little munchkins aren't they! Last night we could not do the usual bedtime routine as the bathroom was out of action and lo was overtired cos he had refused one of his naps BUT he had a better nights sleep. Went from 8pm til 1pm (WOW!!) then up at 3am refused to go back to sleep after hour or so so I put him down 'talking to himself' next thing I know is that it is 6am and I am checking that ds is OK as he must have put himself to sleep (double WOW!) This means I had about 6 hours of sleep on and off. I was getting to the point that I was dropping things and nearly cut my fingers off cos I was soooo tired. After 6 hours of sleep I feel so refreshed!!!

I wander what tonight will bring......

Sleepy thoughts to everyone

moljam/lori - it's amazing what just one stint of continuous sleep does for you isn't it. I'm so please for you both.

as predicted - hideous night here last night. I walked DS to sleep this morning & he had an hour and DH has just got him down again this afternoon so (please, please) I hope that'll help for tonight.

1st night of 'No Cry..' tonight. Wish me luck! Managed to get 20wk DS to have 2 decent naps today, and we're getting him attached to a safe teddy for bed. Need sleep!

Hi all and welcome to detentionG.hurrah hurrah have some good news but am only posting it because this evening is going v.badly so will not be being at all smug just rather wistful.both saturday and sunday DD had a TWO HOUR nap in morning and a one hour in afternoon, then both nights went to sleep fine and woke up at 5am for 30 minn bf and burp then asleep til 9am!before you think what a lot of sleep, both nights we had friends round so didnt sleep till 1am!what a flipping waste.
anyway after a shocking friday i have decided to do a family burp weekly planner.usually i spend my days rushing from one ting to another and always late, on friday we had a chilled day and so baby burp got her naps in and i noticed big difference. now tonight i went to burp family house for afternoon and dins as dh on boys weekend (he so deserves one apparently) and so baby burps evening routine all messed up and got home late and had to wake her out of car seat slumber then took 1hr15mins of empty boob sucking to get her to sleep and she has woken a million times since.i am the exact opposite type of person to a routine type but this seems to work so well with dd.
iris when is your party, is it soon?
sleepy vibes to all

aarrgghh shld say fri and sat nights were good ones, doh!

Are any of you trying to introduce a lovey? I now have 'sleepy donkey' which I hold between us whenever putting ds down to sleep, so that it is getting to smell of me, but if I give it to him directly, he starts to play with it and this keeps him awake. I still think it helps him in the night as it must smell familiar, but for going to sleep it doesn't seem to help much yet. I really want him to get an attachment soon, as he will be starting nursery after Christmas when I go back to work.

Fluffyanimal - I hope your sleepy donkey works! I've just made a snoedel (with thanks to Humphrey who told us about them a couple of weeks ago). Ds is napping with it laid on his chest at the moment. We're in just the same situation as you - I'm back to work in January and DS is off to nursery 3 days a week. At the moment, doing the washing up is a challengingly complex task for me, so I think I need to be getting a lot more sleep before going back to work.

hello detention.g.,hows it going?
my ds has a little checked cow with long arms,leg and tail(safe though!)he twiddles it as he goes sleep,we call it sleepy moo.after excellant night we had 1 not good/not bad night then lastnight was bad!we are all getting colds though!

Well, he woke just as much but at one point i put him back down without boob! Knew he wasn't hungry, so rocked and shh'd him...took 50mins but he slept for nearly 2 more hours then without boob.

He had a couple of proper naps yesterday (he usually refuses) so was less grumpy towards bedtime too. Not bad considering he's teething.

He seemed ok having teddy tucked in with him too, and i've cuddled the teddy with us when i've been feeding him to try and aid attachment.

Slow and steady!

for me i think its been great at helping me understand sleep and although i know it wont happen right away ,eventually he'll sleep(he will be 16!)and realising its ok to cosleep,im not 'making it worse!' as lots of other books told me.
no nap yet today!