the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

Thanks for the sympathy/encouragement it is good to know your not the only one with a poor sleeper. DD2 just up from an hours nap DD1 hasn't been for one today though.

The log is probably about the same as when we first did it I think the failure is more to do with me falling asleep whilst she is feeding in the night and not pulling her off tbh the night waking doesn't bother me as much as the waking before midnight as it's horrid when you put them down to sleep at 7pm then you are just waiting for them to wake up again. It affects our evening quite a bit for eg we know we cannot watch a film as she will wake at least once through it and I will have to go up to settle her which could be 5 mins to 30 mins. If she would sleep 7-1am even that would help a great deal as the actual night wakenings aren't that bad as it's only 5 mins on the boob back to sleep if that makes any sense.

Sorry am rambling a bit. I'm sure I wouldn't find it as much as a struggle if I only had one I could snuggle up in bed with her in the afternoon and do the quick get them back to sleep routine before she awakes fully to sort out daytime naps. Oh well such is life.

sweetkitty, I just logged on and read your last message, and wanted to offer hope! Evenings were getting to me as well - I used to miss out all the times ds woke before we went to bed because the number sounded stupid ('oh, he was good last night, only woke 7 times' etc). I can totally relate to the bit about not watching a film because you know you'll be up and down all evening. Anyway, where I'm heading (slowly) is that the NCSS has really worked for us there. Touch wood. Ds now sleeps from 7.30 ish to about 11.30-12.00. Maybe he'll wake up once, but he's got so much easier to resettle that it is literally dash upstairs, stroke/pat/shush and back down again. He still wakes up all through the night, with very few exceptions - he was screaming lots last night poor little beastie, I've no idea what the matter was - but evenings are good. And it does make a difference. Like you, I have been saying if only I could have evenings off I could cope with the night shift. I think the key for us has been routine, routine, routine. That or the whole thing is fluke and all this NCSS is just keeping us parents busy while our infants get on with working their way through their own sleep issues (heritic! Burn me!). Much sympathy anyway, I really recognise your situation.

I'll catch up with the rest of the posts soon, but did notice Iris's achievements on the sleeping front so yippee!! Lovely to hear that it's going well .

Sweetkitty - I really sympathise with the evening thing (a notsolongago rant to DH was along the lines of "I just want one bloody evening where I can catch up with something!!")
FWIW (and you may not want to hear this) DS started sleeping longer almost as soon as DH started going to him at night with just water. He generally takes longer to settle initially now (bf more - can be up to an hour) but once he's down I'm pretty confident I have the entire evening free now.

Bikebug - I agree - it's routine that's worked here too (much to my annoyance - I hate being told what to do )

Seems like there's definately some progress in the air - in fits & starts anyway

Well, last night wasn't quite the repeat performance I'd hoped for but, all in all, it wasn't bad. DS woke at 1 and wouldn't be consoled by water/cuddles with me so I ended up taking him in with me & bf to sleep. He woke again at 3ish & 5ish then finally 7.15. He had only slept for about 40 mins during the day though so I think that had an effect - it took me 1 1/2 hours to get him to go to sleep at bedtime he was so overtired. (note to self...routine, routine, routine )

Hope everyone is keeping positive - we are all going to get there soon. x

What age did you start with the water at night? I know part of my problem is that I had a bit of a nightmare in hospital when DS was born and one night he slept through because he had not had enough food (and then was drowsy all day, stopped pooing, midwife was horrible to me, I was not allowed home, I cried all day) so in the back of my mind is the need to feed him during the night. I know he is still young (only 4 months) but want to prepare myself mentally for when he does not need feeds at night.

Thanks

Thanks bikebug and Iris well fingers crossed she went down at 7.50pm and haven't heard anything yet.

I have been following the night routine as closely as possible it's the one thing I can do.

lori - I think it's quite a individual thing when you feel they don't need a night feed any longer. My DD2 is a big girl and I think she does sometimes still need a top up especially towards 6am. Don't think she needs 6 top ups though. She eats a lot of food during the day now as well so I know she doesn't need the milk. DD1 slept 11-6am at 6 weeks and 8-8 at 12 weeks so she didn't need a night feed after 3 months. Personally I think after 9 months they shouldn't need night feeds for food alone if that makes any sense, I don't know about the offering water thing will they expect it all the time or do they think it's not worth the hassle and go back to sleep?

Iris - sounds promising though still keeping everything crossed

Lori, hugs, your hospital experience sounds awful. Don't know if this helps but I didn't drop night feeds until I started weaning DS and stopping bf altogether. The night feed was the last bf I dropped. Up until then I was fairly sure he did actually need the food in the night.

Lori, hugs, your hospital experience sounds awful. Don't know if this helps but I didn't drop night feeds until I started weaning DS and stopping bf altogether. The night feed was the last bf I dropped. Up until then I was fairly sure he did actually need the food in the night.

lori,sounds awful,nasty midwifes!ive only stopped giving my lo a milky bottle 2 or 3 days ago and hes 10 months.i proberbly could have stopped it sooner.hes been quite happy with just water,but if he wakes at 5 i give him milk.
lastnight he slept 7-1am!but from then it was every half hour!i gave him bit of water,sshhed,stroked head etc and he was ok till 30 mins later!got him down for morning nap at 9am and stupid impatient postman woke him half hour later!hes now napping again,earlier than id like but poor thing must be tired out!

thanks for your advice. i did the night log last night and made me realise that it is not the amount of times ds is waking but the length of time he takes to go back to sleep (over an hour each time) and the early morning waking. he seems to have lost interest in daytime feeds and then is catching up at night. i'm going to really feed him up in the day - any other ideas gratefully received.

a fantastic success today - my lo went to sleep just by rocking him in my arms. this is the first time and meant i could keep him asleep for longer and i feel like a proper mum.

Well it's 8.32pm both my DDs are awake and show no signs of going to sleep.

DD2 was tired over dinner so after a quick bath and jammies we settled down at 7pm for a nice BF in front of Emmerdale (DP out this evening another story) so I cannot take her upstairs and lie in the dim room with her. DD1 snuggles down beside us and lo nad behold both are fast asleep at 7.20pm I think great so at 7.30pm I take DD2 then DD1 upstairs and put them in their cots. DD2 wakes up 5 minutes later then she must have woken DD1 as she starts howling so I've got one in each room howling so I feed DD2 back to sleep and take DD1 downstairs as she's got her nappy off. DD2 then wakes back up again 5 minutes later I can't nurse her back to sleep so I have to bring her back downstairs. Right now I am ready to cry. How do single parents do this?

DD2 has had a 30 minute sleep all day in the pram when I took them for a walk, that was it both are so overtired right now too.

Sorry to be so down feel like I'm the most depressing person in the world right now.

Hope everyone else is having a good night so far.

sweetkitty,sounds terrible!what are their ages?dont apologise for being down,ive been same today,i missed our babygroup because i knew i was likely to burst into tears for no reason!
im chatting to someone on msn at the moment whos been recommended cc by their hv im trying not to say anything!but its so hard!
my lo went to bed fine but didnt have much of feed so night time will be a joy!

oh sweetkitty hope your night has improved, i've had a mostly bad day apart from some lovely dancing to abba which dd loved and even the dog joined in. DD still poorly and has been a limpet all day, overtired for morning nap as went to doctors and finally succumbed to antibiotics, then put her down and 20 mins later postman arrived and woke her up.usually tho if v.tired will go bk to sleep in 2 mins or can pat her back however phone went at exact same time and my dad went and picked her up out of cot and brought her downstairs.

aaarrrgghh felt like running outside screaming cos just knew she wd be a grumpy pumpy pants all day.was so overtired going to bed that didnt even have any milk just got ver cross with me and had to rock her to sleep, has woken up twice since and has just woke now .poor dd though is poorly and just sounds fed up.gnight all and good luck!

bottomlessburp,big hug to you!hope your lo is better soon.
were on day 10,time to do our log,but ds wont have nap!hes only done this once in 10 days!even if hes only slept for half an hour hes been getting good at the morning nap,just not today!
lastnight i made dh sleep on sofa,ds only woke twice!then up for morning at 6am!i think dh might be on sofa more often!LOL

bottomlessburp,big hug to you!hope your lo is better soon.
were on day 10,time to do our log,but ds wont have nap!hes only done this once in 10 days!even if hes only slept for half an hour hes been getting good at the morning nap,just not today!
lastnight i made dh sleep on sofa,ds only woke twice!then up for morning at 6am!i think dh might be on sofa more often!LOL

whoops!sorry.the person i said i was chatting to on msn lastnight that was doing cc as adviced by hv now proudly has night 1 of cc! displayed on her thing!i thought she knew i was anti cc so why share it with me!sorry little rant.

Sounds like everyone is feeling rather down today. I tried 'the pantley pull off' last night which worked in itself but instead ds was awake every 2 hours for a short feed instead of every 3/4 hours for a long feed. I think I will go back to the longer feeds and tackle night times when I am a little less tired. Have had a little success though - ds is still sleeping and has been since 10.15am. He awoke after 40minutes so I rocked him on and off for 20 minutes and he went off again. Here's hoping some good day time naps mean a good night time sleep. Big hugs to everyone struggling out there. As Mrs P says - it will get better!!

Hi all

Sweetkitty - you poor love. I don't know what to say to cheer you up except it will get better.

We've had a hideous few nights here. DS has been taking at least an hour each night to settle then waking again after an hour .Though I've been able to resettle him a few times using just water & rocking he's still ended up in with me every night DH has been away. He's back tonight so I'm going too ask him to do another week of nights with him. (my birthday's looming & I know DH has something planned - I think it's a surprise party but unless we get this sorted I'll not be going anywhere!!)

Moljam - can use tell me which thread you were on when you were talking to someone re CC please?I have gathered that you wouldnt use this method yourself but you shouldn't dismiss it for other people. I don't think that is fair, we should support each other whatever we choose to do.We are all tired and therefore vunerable and easily upset.I have tried all methods for 2 years and only now has CC worked for me, even though we have tried it before. As much as we'd like to go softly, softly sometimes this just doesnt work and depends on the child and circumstances.

No good to hear everyone having waking babies still! I have glimmers of once a night more now, but still waking twice a night like a clock! I hate to stuff ds to make him stay asleep but am giving him a bottle of milk with abit of barley powder to fatten him up for the night. Am working on him going to sleep with no bf at night 3 out of 4 so far so good. I do go out of the room sometimes. Tonight I had to put the kids to bed and I did not want dd watching a dvd.

A rule I made for myself with dd was no bf to go to sleep day or night alot earlier on and worked on her learning to go to sleep. DS is older and more stubborn!

Shattered mum, you are right that different things work for diff mums and babies but i think it is important to be able to have a forum where everyone can vent their feelings without upsetting RL friends.i get a lot of support from this thread whereas in RL all my friends are CCers so i stay very quiet.I have chosen NCSS for my dd, that does not mean i am critical of the method you have chosen and you should not take it personally that i have not chosen CC. It helps a lot to have a place where i can say how i feel amongst other parents who share my viewpoint.we're not a militant anti CC army just a group of mums who have chosen NCSS instead.
good luck with your LO's sleeping.

hi all, feeling a bit better now last night was v rough, 2 screaming babies in 2 rooms and one mummy doesn't go.

They both eventually went to sleep at 10pm last night (moljam - DD1 is 2.4yo, DD2 nearly 10 months). On the positive side DD2 slept until 6 this morning straight had a BF and went back to sleep until 8am. DP had them this afternoon and DD2 fell asleep in his arms and slept for 40 minutes. 40 minute nap all day no good really is it?

moljam - your poor DH relegated to the sofa, rant away if it makes you feel better, I haven't told anyone in RL about NCSS they think I'm odd that I a)BF b)cosleep as it is, I'm fed up of being told to give her a bottle that will make her sleep or let her cry it out she'll learn

Iris - shame I thought you were getting somewhere (and the hope for the rest of us) hopefully DH can have more success, I'm sure they smell the milk of us. I try to cuddle DD2 and she sucks and bites my top.

bottomlessburp - how is your DD today? Hope she is feeling better

sleepy vibes to everyone else

sweetkitty thats fabtastic news about your DD2s sleep til 6am - hurrah!
baby burp had a lot of diarrhoea this morning cos allergic to antibiotics, bubbled out everywhere so had 4th change of clothes by 11am.now have new abs, on the plus side DD was very well behaved when went into town on tram with her great granny to get MIL birthday present, had a good nap in pushchair on way home.think she must have very sore throat though as not eating anything apart from cold apple puree.went to the unicorn shop yesterday and bought 4 diff types of apples so at least is not too boring!
i dont know how to get the daytime naps right, the absolute worst thing though is that if DD doesnt have her 10ish nap for an hour i already know will be a bad night ahead!at least morning nap is between 10ans 11am,i have absolutely no idea when afternoon nap is sometimes, can be anytime right up to 5pm.what time does everyone elses LO's nap?
dont forget 'plenty of time to sleep when we're dead'!!

nap nap what is this stange thing you all talk of? I have read NCSS out to DD2 TWO naps I tell her 2-3 hours a day I tell her! An hour on a good day if we are lucky, would love to stay in bed with her all afternoon but as I've said DD1 won't oblige.

bottomlessburp - what age are your DDs I have forgotten if you have said? I got off the purees as soon as I could, DD2 was shovelling in homemade chicken nuggets, chips, broccoli and peas tonight, this girl can eat it's not hunger that wakes her.

baby burp is 7mths old, before this last cold/chest infection shw was eating fab, had started spag bol with little shapes and she loved it but wont eat at all this week.even made fave banana and blueberries whizzed togeth for breakfast and mouth tightly shut until apple puree.dog is fat,fat,fat with all these leftovers plus only one walk a day whilst DD poorly as quite cold for her, shes in a backpack as easier to manage dog rather than pushchair.

shattered mum it wasnt a thread it was someone i know on msn.i wouldnt say dont do it id just say nothing each to there own etc,i was saying i wouldnt so why was she telling me about it?it would be like coming on a thread titled no cry sleep solution ans asking for tips on cc.totally agree were all to support each other and sorry you took offence but either i typed wrong or you missunderstood.sorry