the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

thanks.im putting travel cot in our room tonight,whether he gets put in there or noti dont know!webottle feed,were watering down the formula but not drastically enough i dont think.maybe i'll try water or cold turkey!scary stuff.ive just had long walk and nice cry so feel lots better!will read the chapter you both suggested in a minute.i feel like such a idiot wanting to give up so quickly.hes teething too so poor babys hurting.weve worked out the nappy situation,hes wearing about 100 pads!slight exageration!so waking dryer.

thanks. He has a soft book that he goes to bed with. He doesnt fall asleep with milk. He does it on his own as good as gold. Thats whats hard to understand???

please advise re CC??? I want to start tonight. HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

shatteredmumsrus - can't advise on CC I'm afraid. There may be another thread that can help.

The No Cry Sleep Solution book is really really good though. Though it isn't a quick fix, I can't recommend it enough for good tips to help your LO get to sleep without the all round trauma of CC

cot is up but were going to have couple of days of getting used to it in room first,so still in with us.i read chapter you adviced,excellant!going to do step 2,get serious!
as for pp about cc,ncss is total opposite so none of us would be any help if thats route you want to take.agree with iris,although ive been whinging,its great book.

Hi all, baby burp has been poorly, 5 nights of v.high temps (40.5 for 3 nights) and days so all sleeping and routine totally out of window and also DD in bed with us cos was worried wd not know if she was hot/cold.we've been sleeping in the day and playing in the night.she's also gone bakc a step with her weaning and only just having a little bit of apple puree but mostly booby only.have had to use loads of calpol and ibuprofen .anyway also having nightmares with outlaws which culminated in having to take poorly DD to their hols house with them for weekend.she was miserable all weekend and VERY snotty but when we got home this evening she was a new baby burper, really happy and crawling all over the place and had a whole weetabix - hurrah!so we start again with the sleeping!am going to try the hot water bottle warming the cot from tomorrow.
hope all babies sleeping x

Shatteredmum I know how you feel when you are so exhausted and at your wits end but personally I could have made some really bad decisions when I'm feeling sooo shattered. I can't remember if you have NCSS book but the otherts who suggest reading the last bit (when nothing is working) are right, a total break from trying/thinking about sleep is a good way to refocus. maybe CC is the right thing for you but my guess is you'll need to be really strong to carry it through so why don't you try and give yourself a couple of days off before making a decision. I spoke to my HV too and she is going to refer us to a sleep clinic. I think if I have to do anything 'cold turkey' I'll need lots of support, reassurance and help and i would want to be coming from a place of calmness rather than reacting through total frustration. Make sure you get all the help you can. I really feel for you ((hugs)).
Iris you're an inspiration, all your patience has paid off. Good luck this week but I think you sound well on your way and it will be fine.
Moljam I've read all about some of the other techniques suggested. This is bloody hard going. I'm still trying to implement NCSS stuff but I found knowing what a backup could be really helpful and reduced my feelings of panic and hopelessness. I'm releived is doesn't need to be NCSS or CC there are middle ways and the what to do when nothing is working is now the most thumbed part of my NCSS book!
Sweetkitty, I to am thinking cold turkey - aghhhhh! Feel sick thinking about it though, not a good sign.
Poor DWB's, our wee DD still has a cold too and it has made her sleeping even more sporadic. How much snot can one person create? it's phenomenal how it gets everywhere. I've turned into widow twanky washing clothes constantly.
I'd just like to say to you all that I felt crap this morning but hearing how you're all doing has brightened my day

Thanks m- we have seen a sleep counsellor and we tried several things including the NCSS and reducing the amount of milk but decided that i have a very strong willed boy who will not let up at these soft approaches. So CC is the only other option to try. I have been giving him the milk he wants in the night for the last three weeks and i was getting less sleep than i did last night with starting the CC. He was awake for 1 hr and 10 mins compared to 30 mins three times a night!!!So hopefully CC is the way for me???

WARNING POSITIVE PROGRESS ALERT !!!
< whispers...DS slept 8.30 - 6 last night in his cot. Small 30 sec grizzle at 11 and again at 1 but I didn't even shush him or get out of bed once! >
DH was back in our bed last night (yay!!)as he had to leave the house at 3 but even his fairy elephant stomping around didn't wake him!!!!! Brought him in for a snuggly bf & we dozed until 7.15 !!!!!!! (and he's such a happy chappie today too)

I think what worked for us was going cold turkey on the night bf & DH going to him with just water. He's also dropped his morning nap. I struggled to get him to sleep & he would always wake up grumpy so I've encouraged him to wait until after lunch as I know he'll sleep longer then (he's asleep now and has already had 1 3/4 hrs) and have 1/2 hour at around 4.30. I'm still bf 2 or 3 times during the day.

Ooooh I hope I'm the first to leave the thread! - if he keeps this up I'll be clippety clopping off into the sunset with a big

moljam - though DS doesn't sleep in his cot during the day still, I plonk him in to play quite regularly when I'm doing stuff upstairs & he doesn't immediately cry in there anymore. May work for you?

bottomlessburp - poor DD. That must have been an awful weekend for you all! So pleased that she's full of beans again

momomama - it's hideous when you get so down isn't it. I think the best bit about NCSS is that it "allows you" to take a break and the method recognises that we're only human. I'm really glad you're finding the positive stuff inspiring. I must admit that the "one step forward" makes me instantly forget the two or three steps back - I must be turning into an optimist in my old age

shatteredmumsrus - Your last sentence sounds as if you are asking for someone to validate your decision and say "yes, go for CC". I don't think that's likely on this thread. Trust your instincts as only you & your DP know the best way for your DS. Good luck with whichever method you choose (though I still hope it's NCSS) .

well i have tried everything else so it has to be. You have to be cruel to be kind and keep reminding yourself that it is for their own good at the end of the day. He is a happy boy today and im a happy mommy!

iris,wow!what a night!come and help me in cornwall!congratulations!even if your lo is sleeping dont leave thread we need you so we can be reminded that it can be done!
we had bad night again!suprise!bed at 7,up at 10,12 and every half hour from 3 am till 5.30 when we got up!but has had hour nap this morning and has been asleep almost an hour now!lastnight i only gave water but he didnt mind still drunk 8 oz!not what i wanted but we'll see,maybe he'll realise!

oh and fogot to say-firstly all those poorly babies hope youre well soon!i dont do snot!

yes Iris I hope the good nights continue for you (fingers and everything crossed) so you have had success with the no boob in the night technique, this is the way I'm thinking of going, going to be very hard though, I will stop offering her the boob to get to sleep but still be there for her with loads of cuddles. I think I will also put the fourth side of her cot up as well in some ways I don't feel ready for her to sleep alone but in others I know it has to be done as none of us is getting a particularly good nights sleep.

shattered mum - I won't condone you for trying CC I think only you can decide whats right for you and your baby, each one is so unique theres not one technique that fits all, good luck with whatever you decide and keep us informed of your progress.

momomama - I too am dreading the cold turkey approach but I reason that I will still be there I just won't be giving her the boob to get her off to sleep. I had a rare night out 2 weeks ago and DP had her she woke at 1am and cried solidly until I came home at 2.10am (problems getting a cab) it's so difficult though to see her crying for over and hour knowing that 5 minutes of boob and she'll be sleeping so soundly.

I hope everyone else is doing OK with the sleep deprivation too. I'm supposed to be doing a 10 day log tonight but I forget in the wee small hours

sweetkitty,let us know outcome of log,how it compares to your last one as ive only done 1 so far.

so good to read about some positive progress. jabs went fine and he hasn't reacted like before.

my lo is a nightmare napper. how do people get their lo to fall asleep for a nap. i feel such a failure as it in't me who gets my lo off to sleep in the day but the hoover or car.

ive heard of lots of weird and wonderful ways people get their little ones to sleep so done punish yourself, you are not the only one driving around aimlessly! With my first son he didnt have a routine either, he just slept when and where, usually in the car.He always fell asleep with a boob or a bottle too. So with my second i was determined to change things. I bought him a soft book and associated it with bed, always had it for sleep times. Taught him how to fall asleep but i cant remember exactly how to be honest but it was the best thing i ever did. Now he just doesnt stay asleep. Whatever works for you but dont beat yourself up about it though your doing great!

iris - great news, fabtastic, your progress is buoying me up .we've been dancing to lloyd cole and the commotions last 45 mins, just having a nappy break, dd smiling and i am so cheery.Dh wont recognise cheery wife when he gets home!

someone told me wayne rooney can only get to sleep with the hoover on!!

Hello everyone! Iris, great to hear you are getting somewhere. Welcome new folk, and Lori, don't worry, I can only get my DS to sleep with him sucking my finger. So Fluffybaby continues to have a totally random sleep pattern. A couple of nights of sleeping through, a couple of nights of waking 3 times. Wish I could predict it. I'm rather crap at doing the logs, must keep up with that. Not much else new to report. I know I must try to knock the finger-sucking on the head and create better sleep associations, but it's very hard when there's a pair of little hands wafting around searching for my hand and dragging it up to his mouth. Tugs at my heart strings it does.

Hi all, just wondering how all the mums with very young bubs are faring. My 5 weeks DD seems to be turning her days and nights around, for the better! Hint for you all, have found that if I get her to sleep in the afternoon, she sleeps through the evening, wakes for a feed and goes back to bed with little fuss and so on throughout the night. She had been awake in the afternoon and grumpy, then we had an almighty fight on our hands to get her to sleep. It seems a good solid sleep breeds more sleep.That's where we are at the moment, a welcome releif from being awake with a shouting baby all night. Feeling almost half human today. Wishing you all the best out there!

lori,glad jabs went ok.
bottomlessburp-sounds like youre having a fab time!
we had a fantastic night,ssshhh dont tell anyone!i put ds to bed at 7 and i went to bed at 9.he woke at 1 had a sip of water and we said our 'magic' words as dd and ds1 calls it(!) and rolled over again,then same at 3.woke at 5.30 had milk and went down to have breakfast at 6!this morning went for nap at 9am still there!lastnight i think may have been helped by fact i used a really dim nightlight i forgot i had,it was enough to see outline of us but nothing else.im scared of dark and found it quite calming!also before he went to bed he had calpol,bonjela and teething powder(i checked with doc that he could have all!)because hes got loads of teeth coming at once!or maybe just luck!

MAZinoz,sounds like things are going well for you too.totally agree about sleep breeds sleep.my friend has dd same age as my ds,10 months.she wont let her nap at all in day as she believes she might get to much and not sleep at night.i really enjoy nap time!thats when i get to have 2 hands!

Glad to hear everyone is in a positive mood. Sleep deprivation can really drag you down. I'm doing the nap log today and my lo is currently asleep. We're trying to break the hoover - sleep association by turning it off just as he is going into the really dozy state. It did not work for his early morning nap but worked for this one! Hooray. Like you say though fluffyanimal it would make life easier if they were more consistent. I keep trying to work out what I do different when he goes to sleep easily but I think it is just luck.

I like the idea of sleep breeding sleep. I am hoping that this will be the case for us. I do agree with you moljam I love the day time naps and the early bedtimes. My lo is so much happier and I can enjoy the time I have with him.

Happy sleeping

Our log for yesterday

45 mins nap in pram
7pm BF and bed as she was utterly shattered
8.05pm woke up but patted back to sleep
9.15pm briefly woke up but patted back to sleep
10.35pm woke tried to pat to sleep until 11.05 when gave up and gave her a BF
3.10 woke BF back to sleep
6.20 woke BF back to sleep
7.50am up for the day

not a good night still fairly typical though. I also agree sleep breeds sleep unfortunately I cannot devote the daytime to getting DD2 off to sleep and staying there as I have DD1 to contend with. Feel a bit disheartened with it all right now. Feel the disruption to my sleep makes me irritable in the day I certainly have less patience with DD1

fluffyanimal - your LO sucking your finger sounds adorable though

I really feel for you sweetkitty. I can not imagine how hard it must be when your have more than one lo to contend with. I have to put so much effort into getting my ds to sleep in the day. I'm afraid I have no advice as I am struggling too. Big hugs though....

sweetkitty!poor you.how different was it to last log?i agree its harder to get baby to sleep with older ones.during week naps are good but when the older 2 are here its impossible!ive tried putting on video for them ,setting up activitys such as colouring ,bribing!!!but no!mine are at school all week so must be hard with younger child at home.