the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

Thanks thats very kind especially as I was such a twat. Its really brought it all up which is good as I need to deal with it. Its funny and ironic that she sleeps like an angel and I'm awake most of the night with insomnia!!! Doesn't life always have the last laugh!

Sleep! tell me about it Manuka. I used to be a 8.30pm till 7am sleeper, now I am lucky if I manage 6! boo hoo

Being a twat is what makes us human I do try and be a raised consciousness kind of girlie and it takes a "big person" to speak from your heart, like you did. Goes along way in the Paps camp

Right I am off to bed NOW!

Hope you sleep! I cant be bothered to try anymore! Have you heard of Amma? Reading about her selfless love is helping. Check her out on internet she's amazing! Amma.org

Manuka - aw bless you sweetheart. To post as you did was very brave - and humbling. Thank you. I think we're all guilty of lashing out when we feel hurt or offended/useless/a shit mother/incompetent/ knackered etc etc etc (note to self.... )

FWIW I certainly don't feel selfless or that I love my DS any more than anyone else. Maybe I'm doing NCSS because I feel a crap mother in other ways?? (food for thought but probably not for this thread) It's horses for courses isn't it. CC worked for you and was what you needed at that time. Perhaps it's time you forgave yourself for being human those first few months. I am pleased your LO sleeps though and hope your insomnia sorts itself out too (I know reflexology can help www.aor.org )

hey manuka, sorry I snapped at you - I was guilty of not trying to see things from your point of view, and I apologise. Thanks for coming back and keeping talking.

Momomama/Moljam - hope you're both ok & are already in bed.

Danceswithbaby/Difers - so pleased for your nap results & hope it's a good indicator of a better night.

Loads of sleepy vibes to all our babies.
Night night all

Hi Ladies. I've just spent over 2 hours trying to get DD to sleep (Manuka, til 9 months old she slept 12 hours every night without a single problem, I really hope your LO continues to be a great sleeper, but bear in mind that it can all change in a heartbeat). I wish my book would hurry up n get here! She was displaying all the signs of being tired between 7.30 and 8, so I took her upstairs and gave her her bottle in dim light in her room. She started to nod off on the bottle and so I cuddled her for a bit to be sure she was asleep. As soon as I tried to put her down in her cot she woke and started to screech. No amount of cuddles and reassurance would stop her. Took her into my bed and tried cuddling her there but she just seemed to have a new burst of energy and just wanted to climb all over me and pull my hair. What does the NCSS recommend in that case? Do you persist in trying to settle her or accept that she's now wide awake and take her back downstairs and wait for her to show signs of being tired again, even if that's hours later? I know my problem is miniscule in comparison to most of you, but I'm finding it really difficult not knowing what to do for her. DH left yesterday for 2 months overseas so am all she's got.

Hi all, not been on for a while and just had a nice time catching up on thread and getting cross and giggling on cc/ncss bits but hat off to manuka for explaining.dd just 7mths old tis wk and been crawling for last 3wks, now trying very hard to collect as many head injuries in one day as poss.we/ve had one fab night, last sat with a 12-7 sleep, all others rubbisho. last night tho was up pureeing my way thru annabel karmel so couldnt rush up tp dd when she woke at midnight for usual feed, she moaned a bit, didnt sry adn then within 4 mins went back to sleep!is now 1am and still not woken again tonight.fingers crossed. am finding that the better nights are then followed by better day naps, anyone else?

manuka,that was very brave to come back and say what you did.if you were really a bad parent you wouldnt have bothered as you wouldnt have had that understanding(am i making sense!).i had pnd with my first 2 ,i had test yesterday as we thought i had it again but i havent.i found bonding with my ds1 very hard so i know where your coming from.hope we didnt offend you,its just sometimes its a touchy subject,many people have the view you first had and feel they have right to say if you dont do it my way your bad and your children are growing up 'wrong' thats why i personally got cross.
anyway.
yesterday ds fell asleep at 5,i let him sleep half hour then he went to bed at 7.30 and up from 12pm onwardsafter 6 times i stopped counting!i think teeth are hurting again as i couldnt comfort him .then up and wide awake(him not me)at 5am!
have been reading ncss,loving it already,cant wait to start properly with logs etc but want to read through first.so much of it just makes sense.with other books i skim bits that dont suit us but so far this is all good!

bbwbl-my ds also slept wwell till a few months ago.i was in shock after 2 non sleepers!i keep thinking was i too relaxed about his sleeping so now he doesnt sleep?never mind.
bottom burp,how did it go?,do you want to come and cook aload for me?freezer is empty!

You're all very kind and have given me much to work on. If she becomes a bad sleeper I'l check out this book you're all reading. Should try it for myself! Thankyou for the reflexology tip I'll give that a try.
The fact that you can be so giving is what broke my heart you're what real mothers should be. I had to force myself to 'give'. Its becoming more of a joy now.
Anyway thankyou and good luck and if it doesn't work as my friend said There's plenty of time to sleep when we're dead. He's a great dad even though his son never sleeps!

Hi - have been skimming through this thread as am bleary-eyed and grumpy after another bad night with dd. I'm not even pushing for her to sleep through although the general advice seems to be that at 7 months she should be able to. What I am desperate for is for her to be able to settle at bedtime. Last night it was 11pm before she finally crashed. I did usual routine and she fell asleep at 6-50, only to wake up at 7-35 ready to play. She has become incapable of ever falling asleep without bf and rages into a fury if I so much as put her in her cot awake.

Never got into these difficulties with ds, who was also bf to sleep when young, but learned to self soothe and after 4 months, we never had a problem with bedtimes. dh is getting fed up at lack of evenings together, I'm getting fed up simply at lack of time to myself.

Soo....what it what are easy, painless tips for a successful bedtime which don't involve disturbing ds who is also trying to get to sleep and is currently an angel.

BBWBabeLisa - DS went through a phase of waking as soon as his head touched the cot mattress too.
The two things I did were:
holding him until he went into a really deep sleep (ie very floppy) (but that didn't really help in getting him to self settle), or feeding him whilst lying on a bed (so not being cuddled) then transferring quickly from bed to cot as soon as he was asleep. HTH

tiredandgrumpy - it's such a shock when you've had one child that slept so well isn't it And I don't know what it is about that first 40 minutes or so that makes them so unsettleable after!. Have you tried music on a loop or doing a shortened bedtime routine again? Interaction is what gets DS going. If I avoid eye contact & talking it seems to be easier (though that didn't work during last nights kick boxing demo!! - my ribs are so bruised this morning)

bottomburp - result!!! better nights = better naps?.... definately (DS just coming up to 45 mins blasting the zeds)

moljam - so pleased for you about the pnd (or rather the lack of it )

sweetkitty - you ok lovely?

a restless night in irisville. 3 naps yesterday totalling 1hr 40. started trying to put him down at 7.15, he finally dropped off at 8.45 then in with me from 10.30 kicking & roaming the bed until 5.30 with 2/3 bf.

I'm definately going to read more of the book today as I realise I really really need to have him off the night bf by mid nov as DH wants to organise a birthday party for me(it's a biggie) & I won't be able to enjoy myself (or even go!!) otherwise!!!

Oh yes you need a big night on your big four0ty Iris

I just put ds down for a nap with some rice milk rather than boob and once offered water when he woke last night, to get him used to the idea. He is abit weary, as am I with this cold.

Manuka, I am using a Edward Bach remedy atm to help me sleep will write it up in another post once ds wakes (its in the bedroom SSHHH)! Actually I have found that Motherhood and its sleeplessness is a reason for sleep training for myself. I have various techniques for creating sleep. Just feeling abit knackered right now, but will post about that later too

Hello,

You've all been so busy...I've really enjoyed reading the posts since I last posted...you are such a supportive & inspiring bunch!! If Ds does start to sleep fine, what I'm I gonna do then? I might still be on this thread when he's 18.

Moljam - Good news re: PND

Manuka - It's a big change for us when we have a baby and often in our culture we just do not have enough support and practical help so don't feel you have done anything wrong in the way you parented or felt about your child at first. In the Book there is a whole chapter (11) called Baby's sleeping but Mommy's Not...there's too much to precis but the headings are

1. stop worrying about sleep.
2. Pay off your sleep debt.
3. Set your body clock
4. Get organised.
5. Avoid Caffine last in the Day
6. watch out for effects of Alcohol (if only)
7. Excercise
8. make environment favourable for sleep
9. Have your own routine 10)Eat light before sleep
10. Relaxation (Yoga, breathing, progressive relaxation)

There, I hope I haven't breached copyright, I'm sure Mrs. Pantley would understand not like some of those other CC type authours.

And there was I thinking everyone would think I was only going to be 30 Paps - suppose the 66 in my name is a bit of a giveaway

Difers - you'll be on the thread when he's 18 because you wont be able to sleep until he's safely home!!(like I am with DD)

Not got the book will read through thread later but thought I would introduce myself.

I have a 13 month old ds who won't sleep and i think i am going insane.

iris66 - you know, I haven't tried music with dd. ds always slept with it in the background. May help.

Plus, have just ordered ncss book after everyone's glowing reviews. How good to know that other people have ended up in the same trap as me.

Hi Guys...welcome to Mummyscaryhouseonthehill!!!

Iris, yep, I'll be up when he's 18, waiting..worrying....Good for you doing baby and young adult at the same time, that must be really hard!!

Good news about naps Bottomburp!

Here's the daily report,

DS cold/cough is better, his teeth are still bothering him a bit.Last night he woke up a few times 12,2,3am.

This mornings nap lasted 1 hour 45mins with feeding him back to sleep after 40mins. I think this has lead to a breakthrough as this afternoon he slept for another 1hour 45mins WITHOUT needing to be fed back to sleep. In his buggy in the garden. It was great, I sat there with my steaming cup of tea in the sun & wind as he opened his eyes and then went back to sleep. I feel much better for more of a break in the day as he needs watching every minute, he loves the stove, wires, sharp surfaces and the compost bin!

He went to bed at 8pm. I wonder what tonight will bring now, he's never napped for more than 3 hours before during the day.

Hi Guys...welcome to Mummyscaryhouseonthehill!!!

Iris, yep, I'll be up when he's 18, waiting..worrying....Good for you doing baby and young adult at the same time, that must be really hard!!

Good news about naps Bottomburp!

Here's the daily report,

DS cold/cough is better, his teeth are still bothering him a bit.Last night he woke up a few times 12,2,3am.

This mornings nap lasted 1 hour 45mins with feeding him back to sleep after 40mins. I think this has lead to a breakthrough as this afternoon he slept for another 1hour 45mins WITHOUT needing to be fed back to sleep. In his buggy in the garden. It was great, I sat there with my steaming cup of tea in the sun & wind as he opened his eyes and then went back to sleep. I feel much better for more of a break in the day as he needs watching every minute, he loves the stove, wires, sharp surfaces and the compost bin!

He went to bed at 8pm. I wonder what tonight will bring now, he's never napped for more than 3 hours before during the day.

Hi y'all, major bummer last night as DD woke up as i logged off mumsnet at 1am, i REALLY must sleep train myself as am insomnialc but too broke for alc at mo.all todays threads have a real optimistic feel i think, i love the 'plenty of time to sleep when i'm dead', wish i was brave enought to have it tattooed in chinese letters on my arm a la david yum beckham.my driving is too shocking for words at the mo and wish i cd buy a warning sign that said my baby believes sleep is for the weak, that wd scare the tailgaters. am feeling optimistic now, am so glad logged on as was feeling tad despondent, DD had good 90 min nap morning, only woken by the little brown dog barking at the audacity of our next door neighbour to walk up his own drive.then another 45 mins nap this afternoon when walking the mutt. have been running into real trouble last couple of wks with afternoon nap getting 5=6ish time and then manic bedtime. hoping todays naps were better timed so poss better night [rolling eyes].i've added a massage into DDs bedtime routine so after bath and before milk, shesnot lying still at all for it and am spilling oil all over her bedroom carpet but am hoping she might eventually lie still and chill out a bit more for it.sleepy vibes to all children, has anyone tried the Lush ickle baby bath bomb?supposed to be sleep inducing but not sure if i can use it on an under 1yr old.also cant remember who was thinking about music but the putumayo music 'dreamland:lullabies' is amazing.
moljam, have humungous amt of organic local cauliflower, courgette and broccoli ice cubes that dd HATES in freezer!night after cauliflower i cd hear her bottomburps on the baby monitor and they were waking her up!
iris i thought it was your 21st hope you are going to get gorg new outfit too.

bottomburp - snap for the bad night last night I made the Annabel Karmel butternut squash risotto for DS last night (went down a storm) but put too much onion in it for him as I was making it for all of us. Mucho wind & wakings hourly from 1.30am. Cauliflower has the same effect poor lamb.

hope everyone else had a better night[hopeful emoticon}

welcome new non sleepers!
im here to boost im afraid!!!!ds went to bed at 7.30 and woke at 6.30am!no night wakings what so ever!im trying to remember everything i did yesterday and do same again!i feel great!sorry to boost,got to tell people that will understand how amazing it is!

moljam - WOW!!!! I'm soooo pleased for you!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

i cannot believe my luck!!!!!!!!hes just gone down for nap,in bed!sleeping peacefully!whats going on?he probably wont sleep long but hes in bed!!!!!!!maybe that book is magic,just having it in house makes them sleep!