the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

moljam - DS is 9 months today. Keep yer chin up try to remember that this isn't going to last forever (though I know it feels like it!)

You do need to try to rest though even if it's just sitting with your feet up & eyes closed whilst he naps (even 10 minutes will help). Have you got anyone you could ask to have him for a couple of hours whilst you have some kip one afternoon (with strictly no catching up on housework!!!)?

iris,thanks.no dh gets in at about 5.30 so its mayhem,dinner,bath,bed etc for all 3 shortly after he gets in.best go thomas crying..

Hi, mine is 9 months 1 week I think he's developmenting so fast that it is disturbing his sleep!

Mine is 8 months 1 week. I know what you mean about growing fast... Did you know that 60% of total brain development occurs in the first year? No wonder they sleep so badly!

Last night was an improvement here. Only 5 wakings (whoopee). That's half the usual number and there was no sitting up, crawling etc. (I'm pretty convinced she sleep-crawls - anyone else had that?). Just wake, suckle, back to sleep.

Could be the gro-bag, could be the ejection of dh to the spare bed, could be that she's finally taking to solids better, could be that NCSS is working. It's probably just fluke and a one-off.

Good luck with the family Iris! I've got my mother tomorrow and that's bad enough. She just doesn't know when to go. On the other hand, if she knew when to go she wouldn't show up in the first place. God, I'm horrid when I'm tired.

Loads of sleepy vibes to all - especially Moljam.

Hello strangers! It's lovely to be able to come online and find out how you are all doing. My pc has been broken to top off a spectacularly crap week and I'm scared to go onto MN at work in case I get caught and have to add that to my stress.
I am sooooo delighted for all you lucky mums who are getting more sleep!!!! Well done for sticking with it and enjoy. As for the sleepless ones I understand, I'm still really struggling too. Moljam stick with it.
It's been marginally better but only because DP is on the couch. I feel worn out and quite tearful, just sooooo knackered and sick of living in a shit hole because I'm too tired to tidy up.
Also I'm sick to death of people telling me I should stop B/f. One supportive colleague said my 11 month old baby is 'playing me like a violin' after I said I hadn't much sleep... My thoughts are unrepeatable
Anyhow Difers success and Iris comments have cheered me up sooo much

Monomama - That's a ridiculous comment about bf. She's only 11 months old. It is so wrong with our culture that something as natural as bf should be made out to be abnormal or somehow manipulative, I suppose the formula companies have spent so much on marketing that people are brainwashed. Anyway, well done you for continuing to breastfeed and work, that's quite an achievement in itself, no wonder you are tired and welcome back online.

Had any of you that had slagged me and cc off actually read my thread fully?
I had said that cc was an absolute last resort because I, like yourselves, had tried everything!
I did the pu/pd, ncss, lying on her floor next to cot, standing over her bed for an hour with my hand on her etc etc - you name it I tried it.
I had to seriously consider the cc and did as much reading and research on it as i could. Finally I realized that I actually wasn't doing dd any good by not letting her go to sleep herself. After a few weeks of thinking about it i went ahead. I never left her for more than 8 minutes to cry. I know my dd has not been effected by it and infact is alot more confident ,happier and rested. It was also beneficial to her because I am now more rested.
Lastly, Iris - with regards to your comment - I feel there was actually no excuse for the extent of your comments. I am fuming at the moment but I won't belittle myself to such nasty remarks. Like I said, I've been there and I know that no amount of sleep deprivation would have made me be so rude to anyone - especially to someone who had taken the time to post a thread in hope of offering some help - Shame on you. Hope that ncss works for you but more so for your ds.

mads1 - thankyou for your comments and I can only offer my sincerest apologies for being so uncharacteristically offensive when, as you so rightly said, you were only trying to help. It may be that your positive story would have been better received on a CC thread though.

I don't intend to revisit this issue again, however I would like to point out that you did leave yourself wide open for the responses you got because those of us on this thread are a) on here for a reason; to adhere to the tenets of the NCSS not CC and b) suffering significant sleep depravation (as I'm sure you are aware and have experienced yourself).

We are trying to support one another in NCSS and welcome any posts of success with this method. Should any of us feel that it isn't working and decided to go down the CC route that will be fine by all concerned I'm sure, but it is generally understood that CC is (as you said) a last resort (and maybe not even that for some)so therefore not discussed on this thread. Thankyou

Dear Iris
Apology accepted! You also made some very good points and I wish you and all the other Mums every success in your chosen methods

No capol No sleep Well, he got his 10 hours of course, but was awake for 2 and half hours in between sleeps. Has now got a front tooth though - awwwwwhhhhh!!!!!

i put thomas down at 7pm and fell asleep with him!we were up every 2 -3 hours though.and he had 1 and half hour nap today but in sling!

I have spent the whole day fielding questions about the whereabouts of dd's cot (we don't have one), her pram/pushchair (we don't have one), why I'm still breastfeeding at 8 months (disgusting, should be on meat-and-two-veg three times a day by now) and "why isn't she sleeping all night? Leave her to cry - she'll learn". (My mother is famous for leaving me as a baby, to cry so long that I damaged my vocal chords and so hard that blood vessels in my eyes burst).

I am now comfort eating for England.

So Difers, no more gummy smiles! DD got her teeth quite early and I was really sad, but she looks so cute now. Just like a little rabbit.

We had 5 wakings again last night, but the biggest improvement is that instead of mega-suckathons she seems content just to snuggle sometimes, before going back to sleep. So long as she is touching me.

If we could just get it down to 3 wakings a night, then quickly back to sleep I think I could take that for years probably. (How sad is that?....)

danceswithbaby, for being left to cry so long as an infant - my parents left me crying till I threw up (and it didn't get me sleeping anyway ), but as far as I know I never damaged myself. Sympathy vibes over the fielding of questions - had similar on Sunday when they visited their one and only grandson... He has me 'wrapped around his finger', he 'certainly has me trained' etc etc. At least they're not fussed that I'm still bf & co-sleeping, but even so, it's hard work defending yourself. Have some chocolate and breath deeply, it's your child, your choices...

Difers, congrats on the tooth! Also a good reason for lo waking up at night, and moljam hope your ds is feeling better very soon and sleeping very much more. ds's only nap yesterday was in the sling, and he's 21lbs, so I feel it! But... what is it with these babies at the minute? all my antenatal group friends in RL (that's 5 people, I don't have many friends ) and lots more babies I read about on bbs at the moment are waking up so much, and with no 'good' reasons. I guess at least it makes me feel like it's not just me (ie doing it all wrong and making a complete hash of motherhood already), but it is very strange how many sleepless babies there are around at the moment. Anyway, just rambling, off to cook interesting finger foods in my continuing quest to do BLW without ds choking on my lovingly prepared offerings.

I've been recommended the ncss on another thread but wanted to check that it is for me. My DS1 is 15weeks. Once he gets to sleep he sleeps OK but it is the getting to sleep that is the problem, especially in the day. He really needs his naps but is very hard to settle. Currently using the hoover and rocking him but even then he cries. I feel like a complete failure as he is even worse if I try and hold him. What I need to know is whether there is any useful advice for helping babies with the transition from awake to asleep in the book. He has a special teddy as a sleep cue, a darkened room, I wait until I see the sleep cues, but still he cries.

Sorry for hijacking the thread but I really need to know before buying the book!

Thanks

Dances with Baby - My older sister was also left to cry as my other sister who is much older is mentally ill and had a a bit of a breakdown when she was born and mum felt she had to do it to give older sister her attention. She comfort eats too, I don't and was never left to cry - I think you might have a theory.

Lori1, Welcome to the thread, the NCSS has loads of suggestions regarding getting baby to sleep whether you bf or bottle feed and it is well worth getting. I got mine on Ebay for £5.

As to why are all babies waking up at the moment..I don't know about babies but I live in the country and everyones noting how many mushrooms there are and there is also a bumper Acorn harvest!!!!!

can i recommend this website to everyone here?. I am a disciple of it and go back from time to time to read bits when i find the time. it has great links to great websites which supports the ncss sleeping method.

thats excellant!i saved it to my favorites!i was beginning to feel a little lost but that link gave me a big confidence boost,i ordered baby whisperer from ebay but have feeling i wont be using it but looking for ncss instead!.i have good news!yesterday ds had 2 good naps,1 in sling on my back and 1 in pushchair,about 1 and half hours each,then slept 7-3 am!feed then slept 3.30-6.30am!and hes just gone for a nap in bed!even if it lasts 10 minutes ,hes having a nap!i think hes over worst of cold too,just teething now.it may be a fluke but i could dance!

Moljam, dd & i just sang & danced "Animal Fair" round the living room to celebrate with you! That's brilliant news

We had a normal 5-wakings kind of night, but dd slept on from 6.30am untl 8.40am which is unheard of. She was probably just making sure that grandma wasn't going to show up again.

Sorry to blow the theory Difers, but I only comfort eat after a visit from mother. DH usually joins in. That's after we've run around like 5 year olds punching the air and shouting "she's finally gone! Yess!".

Dunno about all those waking babies either Bikebug. All my friends' babies (all 2 of them)seem to bf for 15 mins then sleep for 4 hours. In their cots .

Great site Somethingunderthebedisdrooling (!!). Thanks.

nap lasted 1 hour!sorry boasting,but it probably wont happen again soon so im making the most of it!

I've just seen ur post re mads post Iris! Didn't half make me giggle!
DD woke within 20 minutes of going down last night and was awake til well past midnight. Screamed blue murder whenever her bum touched the cot mattress. Only thing that stopped the crying was snuggling on the couch with us watching telly! I tried just giving her cuddles in the armchair in her room with the lights dimmed etc but she still squawked. Tried a wee bit of CC but that just confirmed to me that I'm not up to that, couldn't bear it.
Think it was about 00:45 when she finally went to sleep, and only then after another full 8oz feed, and being taken into our bed and cuddled til she got into a deep enough sleep to move her without her waking. Once I got her into her own cot then she was fine, and would happily have slept til lunchtime today if I'd let her, but I woke her at about 9.20. It's meant she's been a grumpy little madam all morning but is now happily napping in her cot cuddling the t-shirt I slept in last night!
I reckon this is payback for the 9 months of sleep I've had. I was really surprised to have a baby who slept so well, and kinda got complacent about it, suddenly getting problems at 9 months has been a real shock to the system. I thought it was just while she was ill (croup/cold) as she slept 9 til 9 the previous two nights when the cold had got better, but I guess last night knocks that theory out.
Loved that website you linked to somethingunderthebed.
Have just ordered my copy of NCSS from amazon. FYI, cheaper than ebay. One about to end on ebay today bidding is already at £6.50 plus £2 p&p. Got mine (used) on amazon marketplace for £7 all-in.

amazon dont accept paypal though.i dont have cards or cheque book.i'll keep looking on ebay!even if paying a bit more ,it sounds worth it.

Why don't you check whether your library has a copy that you can borrow, our library has an online site that you can check availability of titles and order a title to be sent from a different library branch if the local one hasn't got it, try googleing your council's libraries. Alot cheaper then if you don't like the book

great idea humfrey!im sure our local library does online too,good job some ones thinking!