Hello Cheese, 3.5 years?! Wow, that sounds a tough one! Have you tried making a bed for you on her floor and saying you will stay there the night (and doing so)? At least that would get you out of her bed and that's the first step! Maybe give her something special of yours for her to look after? Don't know if she is a bit old for it but both my girls love their star projectors and DD1 turns her on if she wakes up in the night. Is there anything going on in the day that might be making her anxious? I think it is all of those sort of things that Ann looks at (from reading her website and comments) - i.e. so that she is more settled and comfortable at bedtime before you start making any changes to how she goes to sleep.
Elph, have you tried crio bru? Its hard to get here but its a bit like chocolate in coffee form iyswim - you brew it in a cafetiere or expresso maker and its somewhere between coffee and hot chocolate - but caffeine free (or virtually). Probably still a poor substitute for a giant mocha with whipped cream and sprinkles but every little helps?! I had some banana/coconut/raspberry "ice-cream" the other day which was actually quite nice - whizz frozen bananas and frozen raspberries then add coconut cream and blend again. Either eat "soft scoop" or stick in the freezer until firm.
Dreaming, I completely understand your frustration. DD1 has been through so many "good" phases and then reverted to bad ones again and its so bloody annoying!
Currently she has decided that the potty is potentially not the root of all evil - provided it is during the hours of darkness that is. Her latest trick is getting out of bed, taking off her pjs and nappy and calling me. When I get upstairs, there she is, sat on the potty, looking all innocent. Bah, she just knows I can't tell her off if she is on the potty!
Then the last three nights, she has got up at 4 am, switched on her bedside light, got undressed and sat herself on the potty again before calling me! WTF? Most of the time she doesn't actually produce anything (there was a tiny wee the night before last but that was it). What the hell is she doing (wide) awake at that time anyway?
DD2 is showing no signs of wanting to STTN. Sigh. Might have to think about Doing Something About It at some point. The health visitor helpfully suggested at her 8 month check that I stop feeding her at night and then she would sleep through (just like that!). I respectfully pointed out that that turned out be a pile of stinking, steaming bullshit with her big sister.
We're off to Turkey tomorrow….10 hours of travelling with a toddler and a baby…yippee!