Stopping night feeds. Say something helpful.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

This is partly a request for tips and experiences and partly a pledge.

DD is 1 yo. She bf to sleep at night.
Then wakes anywhere between 1 and three times, again bf back to sleep. I get that the feeding is a comfort.
I, of course am nearly dead from sleep deprivation/ disruption.
I am, from tonight going to stop night feeding. I'm going to initially drop any feeding before 1am, then move on to dropping any later feeds IYSWIM.
I'll be cuddling her, no CIO or cc, but no milk before 1 am.
Any tips?
I know I should like a wuss for doing it so gradually but she's only a baby after all.

Thank you AmandaClark, that's nice to hear.

She's waking anywhere between 1 and 4 times :( she goes to sleep after a feed in her own bed and then in the early hours ends up in bed with us. Once she's in our bed, it feels as though she is constantly on the boob which makes me quite fed up..

Fingers crossed we all have a better night!

gingersnap when I first night weaned DS in the autumn, I opted for the 'extend the time between feeds' approach. First feed, DS screamed for 2,5 hours - in the end he fell asleep but only to wake up as soon as I tried to move, I then fed him as there was no way I was listening to any more of that. He skipped that feed the next night! Sadly he got Ill just couple of days after and we were back to square one.

Some amazing progress here. We're still in recovery mode here - lots of sleep during the day and tired in the afternoons. But his appetite is back and for the last two nights he has been waking 3 times each night, sleeping regular 3 hours stretches. Now just need him to start extending those stretches again....

scrumptious. Sorry to hear about DS being I'll. It's so demoralising when you get a backwards step.

gingersnap co sleeping has been a mixed blessing PITA for us.
Some nights it's the only thing that I can manage. OMG anything just to be able to lie down!
But then I found that DD seems to wake more frequently when she's in with me. Or I wake more. Or both??
Some f my better nights are those nights when I manage to feed her in her room and get her into her own. OT.
But it's hard sometimes. The other night I just couldn't help it. I was so desecrate to lie down an I brought her in with me.
With DS (shocking sleeper) I took to using a matress on the floor in his room. I went to bed in my own bed, but as soon as he had his first wake-up I would go in hs room and co sleep on the matress with him. It made he whole thing more bearable somehow.

Tonight:
19:30 - Bf dd to sleep. Fell asleep.
22:30 - woke up. DD woke up.
BF dd to sleep.

I have now missed my half hour, Pre- dh coming into bedroom, lie down and self -selected tv enjoyment.

So glad l found this thread, thought it was just me...Ds is 14 months, bf to sleep and wakes up between 4-10 times every night. I know he uses me as a live dummy and he is capable of falling asleep without help (he does it at CM) just not when he knows l'm around . I don't know how to stop this madness, as l am so shuttered l just give in to get some sleep and l have to go to work in the morning. Dp tried to settle him on few occasions but he just gets hysterical and then wakes himself up. Following with interest for some tips and magic solution.

*shattered not shuttered! (Sigh) my brain is gone…

Also joining as I'm trying the same. Have just tried to shush DD2 in her cot for over an hour, including cuddles and water before giving in and feeding her to sleep. She is 10 months. We had a few good nights but I think she's wise to it now and has started putting up a major fight. Am so fed up and DH no help after bedtime, ugh.

Epic fail here.
I don't know what time DD woke up because I cba to look at a clock (yes, I am that tired)
I took her into bed with me (I know, I know) and bf her to sleep. Then at 4:30 I woke up and put her in her cot.
She woke again at 5:30. I'm feeding her now.
I know she's teething and the bf comforts her.
I can handle one feed but this is killing me. I have to get up for work in a minute and when I'm there if I mention the sleep someone will make a patronising comment about me being too soft (a colleague thinks I should let her CIO).
I know it would have been better to sit with her rather than co sleep.
But sitting up with her when I'm so insanely tired is impossible.
People who have had "good sleepers" have absolutely no idea about how this feels, or how lucky they are and their smugness makes me want to........

Anyone?

Hi eveylikesv and justletmesleep

Sorry for the bad example and miserable post

Oh RealAmanda, sorry about your rubbish night. I keep telling myself it's an ongoing process, it's not going to happen quickly, so there will be bad nights. If she's teething maybe a feed and cuddle is what she really needed, not a fail. Mine's teething too and I think yesterday she maybe just couldn't manage sleeping. Hard to remember that at 1.30am, just had the massive red rage hate everyone type brain state going on!

I was one of those smug bastards with DD1. She slept through reliably from 4-5 months (thumb sucking) and I was probably horribly pitying and uncomprehending with friends who had wakey babies. Karma eh!

RealAmanda so sorry to hear that! I co-sleep with DS to get any rest, he is not in our bed but in his own room on the futon on the floor. Had a dreadful night as well as couldn't sleep till about 1am, then DS woke up and was a bit unsettled for the rest of the night (he is teething at the moment). I am traveling without him for a few days in couple of weeks time and hoping he will just learn to sleep during this time and wean himself off the boob. DP is in for a shock for sure...

Amanda- so sorry to hear about your rubbish night it's so draining.
Sumptuous- I hope bubba is feeling better soon.

My daughter is messing with me. Last night she slept through until 5.30am and then was up for the day. Wtf?!

I'm expecting tonight to be bedlam

Thanks everyone. Fingers crossed for a better night.

gingersnap great news that dd sept through, although the early strts are a struggle.

Teething is horrid isn't it justletmesleep

eveylikes I like co sleeping when it's at floor level and just me and the dc.
I just need to persuade dh to go the sure bed.

Wishing you all a good night.
I am aiming for a one-feed limit and to have dd sleep in her cot.

FX for a better night amanda. Like others have said, maybe just as a result of teething - if only they could talk and tell us!!

DS slept from 6.45pm to 2.30am last night, gave a quick 2 min feed (confess, I bring him to bed when he wakes after midnight) and he tried to settle himself for 15min, got frustrated and I decided to give another quick 1min feed (be a dummy!) and he settled within 5min. Another quick wake up at 5, with a 1-2min dummy/feed and up at 7. He's only had one nap today, but it lasted 2 hrs. Let's see what tonight brings. I'm going to try and keep all feeds to 1min.

ginger let's hope sleeping through is the new thing!!

Welcome to everyone else

Hi ladies, I'm in a similar position but don't feel ready to tackle it yet! DS is 17 months, we cosleep (in a different room to DH), bf to sleep and to resettle in the night - all less than ideal but it gets me the most sleep! So, I'm reading with interest....

So far not so good, am feeding her back to sleep now after an unsettled hour or so drained...

Hello. May I join you please.

Dc2 is proving to be a bit of a nighttime nightmare. He is only 7 months. Last week he moved into a cor in dc1's room (prior to that he had been in a crib in my room, but he is now to big). Now he is waking every 1-2 hours for a feed. Sometimes he feeds, then gone back to sleep. Sometimes he feeds, then stays awake for a couple of hours [exhausted emoticon]. He is bf.

For comparison, at this age dc1 was still waking 1-3:times but always settled straight after a feed. I started reducing her feed durations when she was about 11 months, and she started sleeping through at 12.

So I'm not looking to eliminate night feeds yet, just significantly reduce them. Because I'm going back to work in a month, and will be a zombie if things don't change.

Welcome hawkeye and npattz I think weve met before NPattz. Was it on a night feed thread?
Hi gingersnap and scrumptious
scumptious I think you're doing really well to have shortened those feeds. That's really impressive.

hawkeye it's so hard going back to work, well it was for me. But I'm in a routine now and just hoping to get. Better night's sleep.

ginger sorry you've had a tiring night.

I dearly, I think I would co sleep in a different room from dh tbh.
But that's not really practical ATM for us.

Last night DS woke up after a bad dream. So that woke DD up. It was around 11pm and she managed to settle with water in a bottle and cuddles. Then it was around 1 ish when I fed her. I sat with her and put her back in who cot. Not sure what time that was but she subsequently woke just after 6.
So, progress? A bit.
I think it has been useful for us to offer water at times when it's unlikely she's hungry.
Also, I gave her some nurofen before bed to help with her teeth.

I'm right there with you all

Terrible! She was up at 2.30, 3.30 and 4.40 before getting up at 6.30. She ended up in bed with us at 4.30.
Amanda- like you, I find co sleeping much better when it's just me and DD in the bed. Maybe we need a bigger bed?! Much be so hard when you've got the two DC to worry about. I think it's brilliant your DD is settling with water and a cuddle.

Scrumptious ( sorry I spelt it wrongly, it's the lack of sleep) sounds like you're doing really well shortening the feeds!

Hi, we night weaned about 3 months ago now when DS was 15mo. I thought it was going to be horrendous as he was a real milk monster at night, we'd already weaned during the day. I decided to go cold turkey as I thought he'd be confused otherwise and I knew I'd cave on the timings.

I continued to cosleep as I figured I could only sort one problem at a time! We had about 3 bad nights where I offered him water but after that he stopped asking. He still wakes in the night but resettling him takes a matter of minutes now and I'm getting much more sleep.

So the reason I wrote all that was just say that you'll get there! If even my terrible sleeper,constant feeder can do it then yours definitely can.

Well I was hoping to report good news as dd decided to sleep from 8-7 on Sunday without any wakings but no we were back to hourly last night!! Only fed her once at 1am so I suppose that's something even if it meant rocking for bloody hours instead

ginger so sorry about your bad night. That's how our rubbish nights look. I just wish I could kick dh out and put the matress on the floor tbh.

madame wow! At that Sunday night sleep. But last night- not fair. Its amazingly impressive that ou only fed her once. That has to be good progress.
Some nights I feel I'm up with dd for hours rocking her. And it's exhausting and I ache. But it's got to be a good thing to have reduced the feeds.... Softly, softly catchy monkey?

mrsreacher thank you. Well done. It really helps to hear good news.

Ok. Water at the ready. Dd almost asleep.
Good luck!

So envious of your 8-7 madame. Hope you start getting more like that.

Ds was up pretty well hourly again last night. I'm off to find my copy of NCSS for inspiration because I can't go on like this.

Oh hawkeye you poor thing.
I like NCSS. I find it comforting at least
Not a good night last night. DS woke DD up around 11 and in desperation I fed her. Then coslept in the spare room after she woke again around 1am.
She did at least manage to go off again after 5 until 7 but that means three feeds last night when I was hoping to get down to one.
I'm now working on the technique in NCSS to stop feeding to sleep. The "pantley pull-off"
So on again for trying to limit night feeds to one.
Good luck with all your ventures.

Am still reading but struggling to type sensible post!
I feel like a wimp compared to some of you veterans on here.
My DS is 8 months.
He currently settles to sleep at bedtime ok - goes down awake.
Good night =bed at 8 wake at 11/12 then 3/4 then 6.30 ish for the day.
Last week he did two amazing sleeps - one night with just an 11 wake up, next night did 10 hours straight.
Can you imagine how excited I was ??
Since then back to 1-2 and occasional 3 hour stretches... Aargh !
He is constantly unwell as has started nursery - which doesn't help..
It honestly was so hard realising we haven't cracked it.
I am back at work and am struggling tbh.
I know it may not sound so bad to you all - but we don't co sleep and so bad nights are brutal.
Good luck all

for you livinginthepresent
That sounds exhausting.
But I think you're selling yourself short. To have got to the stage where your DS goes down awake is fantastic. This (among many others) is the area I have completely failed as a parent
Also, I would have thought that over time your DS will drop those night feeds naturally because he's still ny 8mo and you have brilliantly managed to avoid him needing to feed to sleep.
You should immediately come to my house to share the secret of this
.
It is so much more tiring when I am "good" and sit up with dd rather than lie down with her, I know what you mean there.

I coslept last night. at 1 dd woke for a feed and I couldn't ear to not lie down. She slept after that and has just had another feed. I'd like to put her in her cot but I am scared of transfer fail.
DD is asleep, albeit lightly, DS is asleep. DH is asleep.