The dreaded SLEEP REGRESSION support and solidarity thread!

[Tiredemma]

Here we are. Sleep deprived, emotional and craving all things sugary just to survive the day.

bah.

Alex...type in 4 month sleep regression to google & force him to read it! Didnt work for my dp as he hates me reading books & researching on internet anything baby related.

He is just trying to fix things as men do & making a cock up of it! Im sure he doesnt think its you. Both my mum & dp insist its time for my dd to be on formula in her own room. Pffft.

Having said that, if what u read on sleep regression doesnt ring true to u or YOU dont feel somethings right, go to Dr.

Tiredemma you reminded me. I wanted to say to newbies theres bad nights and bad bad nights. You will occasionally get an ok night to help you survive.

But emma hoping this is good sign for you!

Alex we'll hold you hand ;)

Thank-you Cindyrella, that means a lot to have a friendly voice of support. I will make him read again, he already has read up but I don't think he believed it got this bad!

Is there any truth formula helps? I caved to pressure and have started giving 1 formula bottle before bed but it hasn't made a jot of difference. I really don't want to stop breastfeeding, he doesn't even seem hungry a lot of the times he wakes in the night so it can't just be a food thing.

Morning ladies. Well after only 1 wake up for food the previous night, we were up 3 times last night for food, wind, then a massive poo so not as good but not too bad.

Can I ask whether you all still have baby in the same room as you and are they in Moses basket/crib rather than cot?

We seem to be coming out of our regression now, and on reflection i think it probably was just a product of being in hospital and getting disturbed regularly throughout the night.

But before this, DS started getting a bit restless in his crib as he was getting a bit big for it, and also seemed to stir/jump when we went to bed/turned over/coughed etc at night. So at 4 months we moved him to a big cotbed and put him in his own room. First we moved crib to other side of room (so not right next to me), then his own room on the other side of the wall, then into big cot. I have a monitor, even though i hear him before the monitor picks him up, and he is still only about 6 steps away from us, but he was much more settled in a bed that he cannot touch the sides of and doesn't get disturbed by us moving around now. So maybe worth a try?

I know official advice is 6 months in same room, but i think we are all capable of making a decision about when baby is ready for this step and i think DS was definitely at that point.

I'm not trying to give advice as im in no way qualified to do that, and im not breast feeding so probably totally different to most of you but sometimes we get so bogged down with what the books say etc that we don't think of the more basic or obvious things to try.

Most of the things we've done that have had a positive impact on DS (not just sleeping) have been suggestions from DH who has read nothing and has zero experience with babies at all.

alex no, there is no truth that formula at night = better sleeping baby, but i guess all babies are different and it may work for some?

I remember reading somewhere though that a bottle at night may help break the dependence on boob for bedtime. I imagine that establishing that would be a nightmare though (failed breast feeder here so no idea!) could try breast milk in a bottle though and see if that helps? And if it does maybe it DP started to give the bottle it might break dependence on you for sleep too?

DD has been in her own room since she was 7 days old. I just couldnt sleep with her in the room- every movement I was bolting up to see what she was doing- every grizzle woke me.

Maybe the reverse might be worth a try then tiredemma? Would she sleep better in your room? Now she is older you might not jump up at every grizzle?

It might seem like a step back rather than forwards but if you all manage to get some sleep it might be worth it until she settles?

IMO anything that gets us through the day or night is worth doing. I had so many ideas about how i was going to get into a routine from the start, not give a dummy, not formula feed etc etc, but the reality is that we've done whatever works on that particular day just to make sure I get out of the house or get some sleep.

But the upshot of this is we have no routine, DS more often than not goes to bed when we do and we do have what others deem to be bad habits such as sleeping in pram during the day. But it works for us so i don't care what the books say!

Ideally we would have a couple of hours to ourselves in the evening and the house would be cleaner and tidier but at the moment id rather spend those couple of hours in the evening with an awake but grizzly tired baby, than running up and down the stairs to a screaming baby.

Ive just read that back and i sound like a right know-all! But im not. I'm just saying that if doing it 'right' isn't working, then it might be worth trying to go with the flow for now? Whatever that means for you and baby.

I dont know what to do anymore! Will see what she is like tonight.

He is in his big cot in our room. I would try him in his own room but its 1 floor up from our room in loft conversion and the thought of doing it while he's in sleep regression fills me with dread. Bad enough waking up 16 times in a night let alone running up&down a flight of stairs every time!!

Thanks for the feeding advise, it seems babies can get this whatever way they are fed really. I will continue the formula before bed mainly as my body is so knackered by that time of day I can only express about 2 oz of milk then anyway!

Tiredemma the randomness of it kills me!
Every time we have a relatively good night I over analyze everything and wonder whether we did something differently, but no, it's completely random...
I'm afraid to say that DD is almost 5.5 mo and it's been the worst she's ever been sleeping...

Hang in there! Our days were horrific a couple of months ago. From 6-13 weeks DS would scream all day, sometimes for 8-9 hours with only the occasional 10 min nap where id run to the loo and scoff some biscuits or toast, and then he would wake and start again. From 7-10 every night it would be constant literally every day until he would fall asleep exhausted. We took turns holding and rocking in 30 min shifts and just told ourselves it would get better eventually, even though we were all crying at some points. Weekdays when DH was at work id have a splitting headache most days and had to wear ear plugs to make it slightly more bearable. I was broken. But then a switch must have flipped one day and he started getting better. It was nothing we did, it just got better, albeit gradually.

Just think that once you DO get through this bit, the rest will seem so easy! (that's what I'm telling myself anyway, i don't want to know if I'm wrong!)

I agree JR, its whatever gets us though now!! I'm considering bed sharing but then I really might be making a rod for my own back I guess. Hard to go back from that one.

JRmumma We put DS in cotbed in our room at two weeks as he was getting too big for basket and thrashing against sides (98th centile since birth). He's still in our room but we used to go to bed early and watch tv in there as we wanted to be in same room while he was sleeping. As we relaxed a bit we started staying downstairs with the monitor on and it made a big difference. Not sure if we're brave enough to move him to his own room but hopefully we'll all sleep a bit better when we do... I also wake at every grizzle.

Just read your last post JR, well done for getting through that. It's the misery of the baby that really gets you feeling that horrible failure feeling. Like 'I should be able to fix this, I'm mummy!' I find it hard to keep reminding myself its not my fault. But it's not our fault. Xx

alex could you put him on the landing outside your room instead for a trial? Although i guess not if he is in a big cot. But even if it blocks the stairs to his room, just bring everything down that you need for a day or 2 so you don't need to get up there?

I am probably talking bollocks but if one of the reasons baby is waking is that you are disturbing him, then you might find its the solution?

Well im sitting in tears & pissed off at the whole bkoody business. Wont nap even in sling. I just fed her to sleep and soon as I put her on my shoulder to burp she woke up. Then i ahouted at her out of fruatration. Shes only 16 weejs & i shouted at her :(
Feel like walking out. Dp fuck all help. Works & doesnt care about her naps when hes here but first to complain when shes cranky.
I feel so alone.

Don't feel bad about shouting, we've all done that if we're honest. She doesn't understand and don't remember.

Will she sleep in the car? I know bad habits and all that, but when DS wouldn't nap id drive round for a bit, use it as an excuse to go to the shop or just drive to settle him. Over time i didn't need to get in the car anymore, but he naps in the car seat clipped onto the pram and i take him for a walk or just rock the pram to get him off. Next step is sleeping in the actual pram rather than the car seat, then without walking or rocking, then hopefully straight into bed.

Thanks. Yes will sleep in car but dp got it at work. Started to sleep in car seat in pram this week but is raining sideways outside. Shes so beyond tired. Got her back in sling with ipod turned up so cant hear crying.
Hoping now that she sleeps in carseat/pram we can progress like you say above.

Thabk God shes just fallen asleep. Time for tea & cake!

Oh Cindy hold on there! My DH's answer to all my concerns is 'I don't know' or 'She's just a baby'. He won't read any books or God forbid check anything online so I'm left with all the decisions. We're probably start weaning soon, but again, I'm going to be the one reading about how/when etc.
DD cranky today, I'm convinced it's teething.. cranky grizzly baby is the last thing I need for next week when I'm flying with her to see my parents... Yikes.

*going to start weaning
Melty brain, sorry!

Feel for you cindy..no advice as we all know these babies are strange things and no one thing works for all of them..but cake, choc and all things nice to eat are needed.
Feel your dp pain as well as they are bloody useless!

marushka if you are going to start weaning, Tesco are having a baby event arm and those ellas kitchen pouches are half price. Ive bought a few of the pure single fruit ones so ive only got to bother making the veggie ones to save myself some time in the first few weeks. They have long life so have bought in advance and each pouch will probably do 3 days.

Also, if you don't have it, i was sent a free cow and gate weaning book which is fab to take you through from start to 3 meals per day.

Obviously no good if you are going to blw though.

Thank you ladies. New day tomorrow. I wont give in.
marushka dd been teething since xmas...have found grizzly comes in short bouts. Take calpol with u if you can! Does she have teeth yet? If not, pop yr knuckle in her mouth & see if she bites down on it for relief!

JR yup, planning to do blw (hoorray for more cleaning!) but thanks anyway. Maybe will get these pouches for myself lol. Too tired to make nutritious lunches so I had lots of McDonalds (and will never get rid of the poochy stomach if I keep doinv that) :)
Cindy I'm giving dd calpol pretty much every night and bought pouches to take on the plane:) she loves gnawing on my knuckles, hehe. No teeth yet!

Oooh feel bad about my comment re dh. Thought he was disappointed I wasn't following dr's advice but it must of been tiredness as after he left for work I got up and found a surprise card [embarassed].

Peadeatrician has told us to wean dd early too, starting with baby rice this week. Dd is 19 weeks x