Misery loves company: riding the mo fo out into Part II

[ElphabaTheGreen]

In our last exciting instalments:

Needles was at breaking point with a screaming 10 mo DD

Hear had experienced the magic of ONE unbroken night!

Dreaming was continuing to confound all with her ability to manage three children on four or five minutes a night, thanks to DT the Terrible.

Stitch was still having her sleep eaten by...erm...Stitch.

Poppy was pondering how the actual fark she was going to manage a newborn on top of BabyAmex's night time shenanigans.

And the desperate Elphaba had turned night duties entirely over to DH with mastitic results.

Join us with your stories of misery and woe in this, the most sleep-deprived corner of MN!

Yep, me too.

elph I get repeated blocked ducts and have had mastitis 4x feeding the boys. Sometimes with a blocked duct I still get a temp of up to 38.4 ish and feel grim but can feed and massage my way through it but its thoroughly miserable. So sympathies, and good on you for writing the letter.

DT the Angelic is no longer. Up minimum twice a night and won't self settle. I am beyond gutted. He's not really miserable or anything but is a bit dribbly so praying its teeth related.

24 degrees in bedrooms here, and I've got mine in vests and 1 tog bags. Hmm. Maybe I'm being an idiot and he's getting hot?! Doesn't feel hot and sweaty in the night though.

And yet I am misplaced to give any tips bald as I am no pinnacle of parenthood, clearly... dd never got frosties or cocopops at that age, now I'll whip 'em out all round if needed

Incidentally Dt The Terrible has proven to be a dairy intolerant, soya intolerant, awaiting egg challenge til I have the energy to do it refluxer. Puking, writhing, back arching and screaming after soya challenge. At least I know now how much arching and screaming is normal- and its not that much!!!! Stopped soya again, and only 'normal' protesting resumed. Sigh. And in this heat he keeps falling asleep bf at bedtime and i don't have the heart balls to wake him up to work on self settling...

I got just under five hours of sleep last night - 10:00 til 1am, then an hour and a half of screaming, then 2:30 til 4:15, after which he refused to sleep anywhere but on me. He cannot be hot if he's insisting on doing that. Furthermore he is half-Australian. The current weather is mildly warm to we Antipodeans.

Feeling fucked off that sleep training has failed yet again. Feeling vindicated that DH and his family surely, surely cannot continue to insinuate that DS's sleep is anything to do with my 'indulgent parenting'.

Mainly, I'm just feeling tired

indulgent parenting...

anybody up?3rd night when my little bugger darling wakes up with a screaming fit because he wants/doesn't want fuck knows what.

I'm very indulging booooring mother and just put him in his high chair with some water,no toys,switched the laptop on and absolutely refused to engage into any way.I can see his reflection in the window,he's grumpy and has this impression on his face -how-dare-you-ignore-me.

I'm in north Scotland so no heatwave here. Dreaming,last week we had temperature like that inside the house (upstairs in the bedroom)and DS was going bananas.I used to leave him for a nap in a buggy dowstairs-the house is built of stone so cooler there.Try to swap the vest for a sleep suit and ditch any covers-no sleeping bags or even cellular blankets.As for advice-anything for peace and quiet so feed your kids sausage rolls,fruitshoot and dogbiscuits for all I care

Off to swimming pool tomorrow-DS supposedly likes it probably not when he's with me Bought the swimming suit today,he had the screaming fit in the fitting rooms.So embarrasing.The assistants were sooo nice and declared him typical male-hates shopping...

DS has fallen asleep in his highchair so I took him upstairs.Screamed the house down as soon as I put him in his cot.Took him dowstairs again,he's fast asleep in his chair again with lights on.Honestly,what the fuck is wrong with this child.I'm going upstairs again but this time will leave the laptop on standby

and again...currently DS in the travelcot screaming like a banshee after another attempt to put him to his cot...

Sounds like a rough night bald :(

Stitch took a while to get to sleep, but did eventually. She woke around midnight and then again at 5am. Up for the day at 6.

For nap time she has been sleeping in a nappy covered with a muslin (28 degrees plus in the room). It gets slightly cooler at night (24 degrees) so short-sleeved vest and cotton sheet, she tends to kick off the sheet if too hot anyway.

I had a thought Elph and Dreaming have you had more incidences of mastitis or blocked ducts since your return to work? On your days off do you feed all day, therefore upping your supply? Could it be the switching from more to less feeds between work and non-work days causing increased milk supply and then blockages when the increased supply is not required on work days? Shot in the dark.

Hi everyone.

We're still having crap nights - this week DD has woken up at 2:30am for the day. She slept from 7:30pm to 2:30am and that was it.

At least she's still going down without a fight, which just feels like a massive victory at this stage. I am very tired though and don't think I'll be able to sustain this for much longer.

DH is travelling to Manchester for the Santana gig tonight, so won't be back home until early hours in the morning (I got him tickets for his birthday), but tomorrow he's definitely doing overnight duties.

Elph have you had any answer to your complaint letters? Hope you're feeling better!

Congratulations Stitch! You and Dreaming give me hope, if you proceeded to number #3 it must mean that having #2 is a piece of cake. Although Dreaming didn't have a choice on that front!

BaldLime I'm in the Forth Valley and it's 24 degrees here, so I envy you. I'm originally from Portugal and lived in Oz forever so supposedly I can take the heat, but DD did't get the memo that she's half Mediterranean! We're having our first "family holiday" up North in September and I'm looking forward to it, although I'll be 8 months pregnant so might regret it.

DD has been sleeping in Aden+Anais muslin bags which are very cool and comfortable, but rip really easily as she steps on them when she stands up in the cot.

Dd's room is 27-28 degrees even with a fan on (we are down south). She is sleeping with just a short sleeved vest on but still far too hot. Poor little mite. She came through to ours about 11 last night but then slept till 6:30 so rather good really. I knew she would be too hot and wake up so I couldn't sleep until she had come round anyway.

bald I never, ever even attempt to try anything on dd in the shops except shoes. I just sort of hold stuff up and hope for the best. She would just have a screaming fit if I tried it.

elph, I do think some people are just more inclined to getting mastitis then others. I am amazingly lucky so far and despite have some nasty blocked ducts that have taken days to get rid of I have never had anything worse then sore red lumpy breasts. I think its probably just bad luck on your part. I find it takes a long sustained change in feeding habits to have any effect on my supply these days as I think once you get to this stage you are sort of established at a certain level. Even if I had a few days of heavy feeding I don't think it would make a difference so I don't think the feeding difference between working and non-working days would be the problem. Though that might just be me.

Stitch I never had mastitis before I started back at work so there may be a connection but my understanding of the whole business is as Hear says - I would have thought supply is well-enough established by now that a couple of days of variation each week shouldn't make a difference. I have asked the HV for a referral to a BFing specialist after all as I feel like I'm at a cross-roads - either BFing has to go (which would NOT be easy as I'm not really ready to stop and DS definitely isn't) or working has to go (which it can't). I'm just achy and in pain today, despite a few days of antibiotics so I'm feeling particularly sorry for myself.

No response from my complaint yet, but I've been advised a response is in the post, so I will provide a summary

Hi Poppy - sounds grim. I was a hideous insomniac before DS, especially when pregnant, but I can't imagine being pg and being ripped continuously from slumber

elph and stitch I did have it before, I've had it from the early days. Dt2 has never had a great latch. Dt the terrible does have one good point then . Then a good period, now way worse going back to work 2 days. I definitely have engorgement issues on work days blocking ducts, the minimum I get is painful engorgement each week...

poppy I maintain everything is better when you're not pregnant. Dd was regularly up at midnight and not resettling til 5ish when i was pg with the dts. Horrifico. And we vaguely talk about #4 so can't be so bad! well, that's me, DH mostly refusing or doing manic cackle and walking away quickly I love having a little brood! Been asked twice this week if they're all mine or if I'm a childminder. Cue me looking round for any extras tagging along- I've only got 3!?!

Poppy I come from the place that summers are average 30˚ C,so I'm pleased with this weather.DS is very fair and probably inherited most of DH genes (cold Scot ;)) because he goes bonkers.Muslin bags sound fabulous but DS would rip them in seconds.

How are you feeling?Is your bump already showing?What will be the age difference between your DC if you don't mind me asking?I'd love to give DS a sibling but I'm torn between theory(it will be alright) to practice (how to cope).Will start nudging DH around New Year.

Any chance you could go down with DD?I know 7:30 is not ideal but better get some sleep than not at all.

and i'm eating my words about no heatwave here

Hear I learnt my lesson re shopping.I don't blame DS though,he's just about to start walking and hates being strapped in a pushchair for too long.He just wants to go,go,go!

Elphaba keep pestering for BF consultant.Sounds like health services in your place are not so good.

Stitch DS starts his day at 6:30 when DH wakes up.Not too bad if he sleeps but if not then it's a nightmare(like the night before).How are you?Have you got rough idea when you're due?

Went to MIL yesterday,she chased me to her bed and took DS away after hearing what a night we've had.She's soooo lovely.
We left DS in his cot yesterday-he was screaming like mad again,eventually went to sleep.He's not even crying,just screaming.

Anyway,I'm off to work tonight (bounce up and down),some lovely chats with nice people and no DS scratching,pulling,poking and so on.

Have a good day ladies:)

number 4????Dreamig number 4????

i suppose you can let them all in 1 room and shut the door

Hello all, had booking in appt at hospital today, emergency referral as they think I may be at least 12 weeks already. Went really well, lovely midwife who gave me lots of tips on how to get my VBA2C (yes I am a glutton for punishment and want to try for a natural birth again after two EMCS!). I have the dating scan next Wednesday so I will know then when I am due.

I used to get really engorged at work when I went back after dd1, she always fed loads on my days off to make up for no boobs on work days. That is what made me think about your troubles Elph and Dreaming.

Right got to sort out the kids, been out all day. It took 3 hours at the hospital and then we went to the local park which has a paddling pool and sandpit, they are knackered.

Back later :)

Response #1 from Mastitisgate - this is from the doctor who told me I shouldn't feed off the affected side as it would be too painful:

'You are correct in stating that the advice is to continue breastfeeding even when you have mastitis buy.

I probably advised that you should not breastfeed at [sic] that side as you may have said it was uncomfortable. In that case, I should have advised that you should express the breast milk.

I see patients with mastitis quite frequently, especially as I also see mother's [sic] during their postnatal check and I never advise them breatfeeding [sic] is stopped. [Elph: well, bully for you. I appoint you honorary lactavist]

I am sorry that you feel the wrong advice was given on this occasion.'

Still awaiting the response from Dr Wear Tight Clothes and Dr Breast Feeding Past Six Months Is Only For Somalians.

In our regular broadcast, sleep continues to be problematic from about 2:30am onwards.

TTFN.

There's tips to try and have a VBAC...? Like what?

Sorry. Random 'buy' inserted by my phone in that earlier entry. I swear either my phone or the awful piece of shit MN App get possessed from 7pm.

More like tips to get the support you need and avoid unnecessary intervention Elph.

Tips were:

Speak to the supervisor of Midwives to get them to write all over you notes that they support your right to birth how you wish, so that on the day you won't have headless chicken midwives running around going "oh no we can't 'allow' that". Important if you don't want to have Continuous Foetal Monitoring and be restricted in your movement.

Optimal foetal positioning prior to labour (Spinning Babies website).

Best labour and birth positions.

How to speak to the consultant and asking for special midwife 1-2-1 care for my case, VBA2C not advised generally so they don't do many of them.

Getting a VBAC is easier as they advise VBAC over ELCS if only 1 prior CS.

Elph that reply would make me angrier (in fact, it's making me angry right now). He manages to come across as illiterate, patronising and unprofessional at the same time. Bastard.

Dreaming thanks, that's a comfort. Having said that, I don't think I could aspire to that level of comfort around 3 children, let alone think of a 4th! Are you super fit and take really good vitamins?

BaldLime I'm 21 weeks, huge bump (excess fluid and big baby) and there will be a 20 months' gap between them
We definitely wanted a second child, but the timing decision might've been taken out of our hands a litte bit
New Year is a good time to TTC, loads of booze and happy feelings from Christmas' induced calorie comas.

Stitch I cant try VBAC, as I don't really have a choice but I think it's a really brave decision, so best of luck! When will you be able to date your pregnancy?

P.S: We just found out IT'S A BOY

Ah lovely Poppy :)

Dating scan is on Wednesday.

The patronising "I am sorry that you feel" always gets me too. I don't feel it, I bloody know it was wrong, you just don't want to admit it and give a true apology grrrr.

Exactly Poppy! Unfortunately, it was a female GP.

Ah, right. See my EMCS was because I had a monster baby and a small pelvis and I thought it was tips to get around the things which lead to needing the EMCS in the first place. I envisioned a list of suggestions such as exercising furiously, smoking and dieting to bring birthweight down

dreaming my parents had 4 between them. My mum told me that the transition from 3-4 was OK as once you have 4 they just form a small tribe and are pretty self sufficient. We were quite feral as children though :o

Now dd is sleeping I am starting to think that maybe if I fell pregnant again I wouldn't fling myself off a bridge right away. Haven't told dp this though. Besides, I want to buy somewhere before we have another so at least a year or 2 I think.

I just remembered that when I went back to work dd was only 4.5 months and was a terrible bottle refuser so dp brought her in at lunchtime for 6 weeks so I could give her a feed. I guess this gave me a less abrupt change between feeding all day and not, which probably explains why engorgement wasn't too bad for me. It was so long ago now I had completely forgotten about it

We had our first holiday! Well, 2 nights by the sea so not full on holiday. It was lovely :)

Congrats Poppy,boys are awesome even more when they are asleep

Elphaba,seriously,WTF is wrong with this doctors.When I went to GP in February with DS who had vomiting bug and hasn't kept anything in for 36 hours,I was told by the doctors that "babies here don't dehydrate so quickly,you know,the ones in Africa do" .I was speechless.

Hear even 2 days would do...

Stitch I'm soooo curious when are you going to have another bundle of joy

DS asleep now in his pushchair-either this or cot.Cot was met with very loud protests (as usual waaahwaaahwaaaah) so took him out for a stroll.My elderly neighbour asked me the other day "what are you doing to this child that I can hear him so often".I restrained myself from answering as I had just 2 words at the top of my tongue.Starting and ending with the same letter.

DS is teething-upper premolars are on the way as gums are quite swollen ,he's dribbling again and has his finger constantly in his mouth.He starts walking!!!

Oh, and stitch I was reading the other thread somewhere,one of those"how did you know when your family is complete".One lady said than anything more than 3 kids is easy as then they tend to form a "small tribe".I was laughing so hard that nearly fell off the chair.Imagine all this pow-wows and there's me thinking how to approach DH about DC2

Ha, small tribe indeed hedgehog! Do they all do their own laundry, homework etc as a little tribe too?!

stitch, I am also so excited to hear how far along you are- imagine, you could have missed the whole first trimester worries :) . Another little stitch to eat your sleep

poppy Hooray, boys are lovely. As are girls. Having both I can confirm this :) When is your due date again?

I am rapidly going off the idea of a fourth as sleep is still crap, bickering incessantly with DH and generally feeling knackered