Misery loves company: riding the mo fo out into Part II

[ElphabaTheGreen]

In our last exciting instalments:

Needles was at breaking point with a screaming 10 mo DD

Hear had experienced the magic of ONE unbroken night!

Dreaming was continuing to confound all with her ability to manage three children on four or five minutes a night, thanks to DT the Terrible.

Stitch was still having her sleep eaten by...erm...Stitch.

Poppy was pondering how the actual fark she was going to manage a newborn on top of BabyAmex's night time shenanigans.

And the desperate Elphaba had turned night duties entirely over to DH with mastitic results.

Join us with your stories of misery and woe in this, the most sleep-deprived corner of MN!

Don't worry Buck you are more then welcome to grump as much as you like here. We have all been there! :o

I may be judged for this but I am going against the general consensus to confess I actually have quite a bit of sympathy for your dh. When it is an ungodly hour in the morning and you have a baby who just cries and cries have we not all been driven to do things we wouldn't do if we were in our right minds. Around 10 months dd had a similar phase where she just would not settle and I remember watching Carl Sagan 'Cosmos' at around midnight with dd a few night running as I had literally lost the will to live and it was all that could keep me sane. To be honest I couldn't have given a shiny shit if it overstimulated her, at least she stopped crying!

I think your dh sounds like he was trying really hard to give you a break and let you get some rest and has just got shouted at for not doing it right. He could have just handed her over at the first sign of trouble but he did the best he could to help you out. Bless him.

Anyway, moving on from my defending of lost causes. We have had a couple of ok nights (trying not to break the 1st rule of no sleep club here). She has slept in her own bed until 3ish and then walked to our room and climbed in with no bother and gone straight back to sleep until gone 6. I am sort of feeling a bit human. Got loads of work done today :o

Still, I am expecting it to all go tits up tonight as she had her 1st full day in the toddler room at nursery so another big change just 3 weeks after we moved house. More little muffin, I'm not surprised she's all over the place.

Hope you feel better soon Dreaming!

Well, poor DS is sick, sick, sick with the lurgy that seems to be going around on here. He spent most of yesterday draped across my lap being hot and glazed-over, even when we went out for Mother's Day lunch. I think he slept on and off for about three hours during the day yesterday, wasn't too bad going to bed an hour later than usual (which was actually his 'regular' time had the bastard clocks not changed) but was then awake and moaning every one to two hours all night. Went back to sleep very quickly each time one of us went in and gave him a quick back rub, though. He stayed home with DH today and was a bit better by all accounts but had a very long, late nap which just made for a very prolonged and labour-intensive bed time. No upset or crying, just repEATed getting out of bed, resulting in a refusal to entertain the idea of getting back into his bed unless I was in it. Got there in the end and he fell asleep finally without me being on there with him. DH's excuse for the ridiculous nap was, 'Well he's ill and needed to sleep.' I quietly think it was DH taking advantage of the fact that DS will sleep on him on the sofa for hours, so he could watch back to back episodes of Blue Bloods Should've made him do bedtime tonight...

Spoke to Ann today who said that, while he's sick, stick with what I can of the programme without making any more changes, then I give her another call in a few days when he's better and we'll progress on from there (which I suspect will be going to sleep with me completely out of sight).

Fingers crossed for all for a disease-free, sleep-filled night...HA!

That sounds like what mine have got/ had and I've got. well, very high temperatures, lethergic, also coughing and runny noses all round. general aching and headache too I've found. Mine were all waking every hour or two as well. Maybe his regression has been the brewing of this bug? (optimistic) .

another bad night here. DD much better but dt the T terrible, guessing refluxy ( guess which prat gave him a teaspoon of yoghurt). I feel a lot better but knackered.

and it's terrible b to say but dt the TV is driving me mad already. he's so much harder to like than the others. Attention grabbing, won't let me do a single 1:1 thing with either other child without butting in, spoil s their games, snatches from them just because. he's hard work!!! anyway, he's kicking off some argument now, best go!

Oh but hear pretending not yo have read your good news in keeping with the no sleep club rules

Seems like everyone is sick!

Mine have conjunctivitis and one has ear infection, dh has ear infection and we think his shingles is returning, he had two stem cell transplants so has compromised immune system. I have the signs of mastitis. Great!

Babies up all night and eventually dh took them at 6 and I slept heavily til 7.45. Bliss! W have decided that once Easter is over and family visiting done we are going to have to DO SOMETHING. Dh is going to go in with the worst offender and only bring him to me every four hours for feeding regardless of the crying. I feel awful, but all other no cry methods apace had no effect. At least he will be comforted. Does this sound reasonable? I don't like the idea of night weaning and it might not help but worth a try and at least then we can both comfort them.

Hugs to all you other sick mummies and babies!

sounds very sensible bees. The worst offender isn't left alone. he's with a loving parent. he's not drinking milk all night. win/win I say. We failed miserably with that here as he woke the other up and even his sister sometimes. However to stop bf cold turkey which I did at 17.5 months (was bf 2 hourly at night then) DH just took him away for 3 nights. Each night they left at 7 and returned at 6:40/7 am. worked well.
Good luck!

I'm still ill, but just tired, sinusy etc. Dd still hot and bothered and coughing. dt the T still a cantankerous nightmare. dt the angelic is super sweet why couldn't they have been identical?

elph ?? missing your updates? ? is this because you're too busy sleeping all night? I really hope so. not because you're battling a horrible bug and very limited sleep....

Watch this space, Dreaming. DT the T will turn into a saintly teenager, while DT the A will never get to leave his room because of permanent grounding.

Monday and Tuesday night DS went off the rails a little at bedtime and we were reluctant to be too harsh with him because he's been unwell. He's also been 'waking early'. I use the quotation marks because we're talking about the child who generally considered 4:30 to be a reasonable waking up time before all this. He was up at 5:30 Tuesday and Wednesday morning and couldn't have given two shits whether the GroClock was still blue or not, he wanted OUT, so we had to just sit with him in his room until 6am.

We got back on the wagon at bedtime last night after a pep-talk (via email) from Ann. Put him in his bed, turned the light out and went outside the stair gate. He leapt up, but wouldn't let me take him back to bed so I stepped outside the room again and let him rage at me over the gate. This carried on for about three minutes before he reached out his arms to be picked up. I carried him back into his bed and went back out again. He started bellowing again, but stayed in bed with his face buried in his pillow, screaming about the gross injustice of having an abusive mother, then fell asleep after about two minutes.

Then he slept right through until 6:10am. Bliss!

I spoke to Ann again this afternoon who said that, due to the blip with illness, we'll stick with staying on the other side of the stair gate where he can see us until I speak to her again on Monday. Then we'll probably progress to getting out of sight after we put him to bed.

I am also in the lergy camp. Yucky tummy and can't eat a thing. Urgh.

I have also be catapulted into the land of 'something must be done' after agreeing to go away with my mum for 3 nights at the end of may. Poor dh will be left at home holding the screaming toddler. So for everyone's sack I need to sort out bedtimes so dh can have some chance of getting some sleep.

So for the last couple of nights I have tried sitting up next to dd while she goes to sleep rather then snuggling up with her. So far both nights have been exactly the same with her climbing on top of me and me putting her back down a trillion billion times until she finally passes out with her leg over mine and her hand reaching up toward my cleavage.

elph please tell me it will get better! Or is there some sort of magical thing I am missing?

Sake not sack. Though maybe putting her in a sack is the solution... :o

DS seemed to have read the script with that bit and only needed putting down a handful of times on the first couple of nights. I'll wager it was luck, but maybe it was also because we'd been doing some pretty concentrated bedroom and bedtime routine stuff for a couple of weeks by then, including lots of rough and tumble, lots of laughs, high-contact play in the half hour before bath time, almost so he got his 'quota' of really good quality hands-on mummy time, and didn't need the physical support as much to go to sleep as he felt more secure (all Ann's recommendation). We were also doing the modelling of using his bear going to sleep in his bed by that stage, so maybe he was cottoning on at some level that he could try to go to sleep like that as well, maybe?

It has been very noticeable during this process that he has become much cuddlier during the day, almost like he's making up for the cuddles he's not getting at night anymore. I'm convinced now after several weeks of this that no step of this process is mutually exclusive, so taking bits in isolation are probably not going to work as effectively as working through the whole programme.

my boys are two today by the way. TWO! so go the fuck to sleep and stay asleep

Happy birthday DT the t and the a :o

Could point about the contact before bed. I will try doing more cuddles and play with her and see if that helps. We have had a pretty standard bedtime routine for yonks, which works really well. I think it is just breaking the cuddle to sleep habit. Last night was much better. Lots of wriggling and rolling about but not nearly so much climbing up.

We are still letting her come through to our room in the night though. I suspect this might make things harder and I might need to look at that. The problem is I think we rather like a bit of cosleeping for part of the night really

Why is it that as soon as I decide that Something must Be Done dd immediately gets ill. She now has a stinking cold and was up most of the night last night. Coughing, runny nose, temperature, the works :(

Oh no hear your poor dd. I think the getting ill as soon as you turn your back for half a second is a big reason I've put off Doing Something.

Your lady is £295 for 6 weeks and £225 for 3 weeks elph according to her website. did she do you a deal? !

couldn't get Dr th The to sleep last till 9:15pm. dire. probably worth paying just for the bloody fucking bedtime. Our nanny babysat at extortionate rates on sat while we went to a wedding. He went to bed beautifully for her. wtaf? !

It looks like she's had a price-hike, Dreaming. Probably an influx of requests from Mumsnet...

She's probably wondering where all the extra business is coming from. elph you should ask for commission. :o

dreaming 9.15! That is bad. How is his sickiness? Do you think you could try 3 weeks and then upgrade?

I'm going to give it one last try on our own just because we really don't have any cash going spare at the moment, but if this fails and we aren't getting somewhere by the start of may I think we will sell something (maybe a kidney) and invest in a 3 week emergency course before I go away.

Dd went to sleep with me sitting next to her tonight without climbing up once and was asleep by 7.05pm! Amazing! Of course she still had her little hand reaching up to grab a boob but it is baby steps. Tomorrow we shall try sitting next to the bed with no boob access. Gosh

Good thinking hear . I was trying to get away from hand holding or head massaging to sleep. clearly, it didn't work.
yes, vomiting totally over. All hail omeprazole. he's only been sick maybe two or three times from starting it. hence why I think he's now ready for a sleep campaign :)

Dreaming belated Happy Birthday to your twins! Two already?
9:15 pm is a standard bedtime here-might be slightly earlier but forget it before 8:30. Glad you got puking sorted.

Elphaba you bad,bad mother how dare you put your son to sleep! stay there and be quiet you little devil .How are you keeping?

Hear your daughter is a mind reader but is very selective

Sorry to hear everybody's got some bug or the other-is there any chance that teething is still to blame for that?Only asking as DS was quiet for a few days after all his canines made an appearance,now he's got the molars on the go and is a nightmare again.There are some days he's got full allowance of painkillers as he's going bonkers.

He doesn't want to go to his bed.

4 weeks to go at work (8 working nights) and that's me done-holidays and ml starts at 38 weeks.I know I'm goig to miss it-nice people I work with and rest from my lovely offspring.Going to work tomorrow so that's my weekend!

Take care ladies,will catch up when I can :)

Bloody he'll bald can't believe you're so close!!!

wonder how stitch is getting on?!

I can't believe it either?
Stitch and Poppy please let us know if you're lurking...

How's your reformed character elph? Just seen another personal recommendation for Ann on a gentle parenting site .

bedtime hell continues here. Dare I say though that he's sleeping pretty well in with me from about 12-6?! still a bit of a pain with a couple of evening wakings. I'm just being greedy now with wanting this to be in his own bed so he's lot constantly flipping kicking at me with his sharp toenailed feet (won't let me cut them of course)

Been a bit stressed here. Mum's gone into hospital so I've been there all day every day for the past week. She's coming good now (I hope) but I'm a bit worried about having to go back to work next week, plus looking after DS, plus keeping her stocked up in clean nighties, plus keeping up with what the consultants are doing...gah.

I had another sleep chat with Ann on Monday. Since Tuesday, DS has been going to sleep in his room by himself as we are now waiting outside his door. We also don't carry him back to bed anymore if he comes to the gate to have a moan at us about not being in the room with him. We have to get him to walk back and climb in himself. The latter is a bit trickier, as DS doesn't quite seem to 'get' that bit yet. It's been a few nights of nudging him slightly unwillingly towards his bed (if it turns into a battle, we have to walk out of the room again and let him resume ranting at us through the gate, which he does) then sort of giving him a push under his bum and 'tipping' him gently into his bed. He most certainly can climb in, but he won't. Ann wants us to take his hand and lead him back and stand with him until he climbs in, but that's nowhere near happening so I'll have to review that with her on Monday (which I think will be our last or second-last chat ). He'd fall asleep in a heap at the gate before he'd do that, which means we'd have to carry him into his bed, which is exactly what we're trying to stop. He's not entirely happy with this new-fangled turn of events, but he's still asleep within 15 minutes each night. And he's been sleeping right through until 5:55am, so I'm happy Ann agreed to let me re-set the GroClock from 6am to 5:50 as he had several consecutive mornings of 5:55-5:58 wakings, and still seems to be sticking to that general time bracket. Letting him sit there and rage at me for making him stay in his bed for an extra two minutes was totally pointless.

Dreaming - DS won't let me cut his toenails either so I do it while he's asleep. About half an hour after he's first gone to sleep is pretty reliable as he's too deeply asleep to wake up. Try that maybe?

Sorry to hear about your mum elph sounds like a lot on your plate. I'm impressed you are keeping to the sleep plan! :)

I confess I've been a bit lax with my Something Must Be Done (smbd?) Plan as both me and dd have been suffering with awful colds. Really proper yuck ones, and as I feel horrid I can only assume dd feels just as terrible. Poor little thing.

However, I do feel we are getting small improvements. Dh managed to settle her the other evening when she woke up and he has managed a reasonable nap on Friday (she had been refusing to nap for him got a while). So I am feeling encouraged. I'll see how she is this afternoon and maybe get back to sitting next to the bed while she goes to sleep tonight.

I'm cruel and heartless. Dd gets Kipper on the laptop and then pinned down if she still refuses nail cutting. I can't be doing with being scratched all night.

elph I've been meaning to ask you what you are doing with naps these days? I seem to remember talk of 2 hour naps...?

Also do you follow the same putting too need routine as you do at bed time?