Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

High Needs Baby Support Group (thread IV)

960 replies

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/08/2012 21:51

Yoohooo! Over here!

The last thread was filling up so I've started us a sparkling new one.

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

  1. Feeds frequently daytime
  2. Feeds frequently nighttime
  3. Needs to be constantly held
  4. Wont sleep alone
  5. Hates the car seat/pram
  6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

OP posts:
PeggyCarter · 26/10/2012 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TitaniaP · 26/10/2012 18:51

Feeling much better today thanks. Lots of pain killers, anti-bs, throat spray and most importantly sleep. Mum has come up and is having DS while I rest. I also slept all day yesterday and had a long bath this afternoon. I can recommend getting ill.

Softlysoftly · 27/10/2012 00:56

Ok now Joyful ty, I was having a moment.

Been at my mums nigh on 2 wks now time to go home I think, the sleep is lovely (she takes DDs in the morning) but I'm a bit isolated and just found out my close group of old mates are all out for one of their hens and even though they know I'm home I'm not invited :(.

Think they are pissed off I've let them down a few times recently but seriously, they all have 1 DC each (born same time as DD2), who seemingly sleep like angels and as they are ff and non clingy get babysat a lot. So my excuses of why I have t replied/gone out/visited even though they never make the effort to come to me sound a bit crap :(

Softlysoftly · 27/10/2012 08:09

Yey Monkey 2 clearly knew I was down and has cheered me up by sleeping from 1-6! She would then have gone back off I think but set her breathing monitor off by wiggling.

PeggyCarter · 27/10/2012 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 28/10/2012 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ticklemyboobsofsteel · 29/10/2012 09:03

Morning all, quiet around these parts! I'd love to think its because you're all getting so much sleep as your babies have seen the light and realised how kickass sleep is. Little man has a cold again, so have I. Ugh.

Joyful Hope you had a great time at the tea party :) Glad DD is feeling better.

Titania Hope you're feeling much better now.

Hilde How are you doing lady? Hope all is good.

Softly Hugs to you. It's horrible making those sorts of discoveries isn't it? Happens all the time with my so called best friends. They live quite close together and their husbands are good friends so they're always getting together without me. C'est la vie. Have given up being upset about it. I just look forward to the day when I make some better friends :)

Anyone I've missed I'm sorry - hope you all have a good day.

hildebrandisgettinghappier · 29/10/2012 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 29/10/2012 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 29/10/2012 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneDayIWillSleepAgain · 30/10/2012 11:08

Hello... I have been reading your threads like a stalker and I believe that my 7 month old DS is also a high need baby. Yes it's taken 7 months to realise his 'ways' have a name!

He is an absolute smiling, giggling, inquisitive, ray of sunshine, full of energy delight! He loves people and anything silly but the downside is he hates sleep, unless on me or in the sling...

The first few months were bliss as he just smiled and napped in the sling. He's always been ok sleeping in his cot at night but I bf on demand and he used to be up feeding a lot but thankfully would always settle quickly.

However he's a big boy and started getting heavy in the sling, plus friends and family kept telling me to put him into his cot... He will go down but has such short cat naps (10-30 minutes) I feel I spend the whole day trying to put him down for another sleep so I'm totally house bound..

He has never napped in the pram and very rarely in the car seat. He used to hate the car seat but will tolerate it now but not if tired...

He loves to be carried and touching things/doing things. All in allhe is great but v draining as I feel I never get a break from him. My parents say he is spoilt by me as I've bf'd and carried him a lot...
I am just interested to know how you all cope out there with your high needs babies? Does it get any easier?!
I long for the day when I can put him in the cot in the daytime and he will sleep for 1 hour + (this has happened twice in 7 months and was bliss) and actually have some time out. Then the other side of me says to go with it, ignore others, let him sleep in the sling as he's only small once, but then I'm so tired and worn out another side of me thinks I need to get tougher and get him into a routine ( I have tried to do this so many times but he really fights it and always goes wrong) and be a bit 'tougher' ie put him down more etc...

Sorry for the confused babble. It would be good to speak to some other mums with similar babies as feeling quite drained at present.
X'

PeggyCarter · 30/10/2012 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneDayIWillSleepAgain · 30/10/2012 15:05

Thank you for the kind reassurance. A Brew made me feel much better Smile
I just get asked all the time about his routine, is he a good baby (ie sleeping through the night, which really riles me!) and I get so confused whether I'm doing the right thing... I think it's just tiredness, I no longer know my own mind!

So tell me do you always let DS sleep in the sling? How do you get a break? DS is 7 months and 21 pounds so a big boy! I use the ergo and moby.

I just wonder when things will improve in terms of getting some time out... I probably sound awful as though I want to be apart from him, which isn't the case as I adore him. I just would love a teeny bit of me time so I gather thoughts and recouperate.

Maybe I feel worse as I'm constantly battling what I should and shouldn't be doing... Would just love to hear what you all do with your LOs and if you ever get anything else done?!

Just read books and they say 'babies need x sleep a day in a dark rooms' etc so I worry im doing things wrong!

He has slept in his cot during the day, never for long but he seems to be resisting it more and more...

PeggyCarter · 30/10/2012 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 30/10/2012 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitsouko · 30/10/2012 21:12

Welcome OneDay - love your name! I live in hope of that as well...

I have a high need DD, also 7 months. She's absolutely lovely but hard, hard work - has been since birth. She suffered from terrible colic until 3 months and still struggles with reflux. Has cow's milk protein allergy as well. Fortunately, breast feeding has gone well, and she's thriving despite all these gastric issues.

She's much improved since the early days - a giggly, vocal, social, happy and super inquisitive girl - a far cry from the howling, purple ball of distress she once was. She still likes a bit of time in the sling (I have an ergo and a babyhawk mei tai - both great) but at 17lbs she's getting too heavy for me to carry for long periods of time. She settles well for naps in her pushchair or nursing, but her night time sleep record is 3 hours. And that's on a good night! We often have hourly wake-ups, though she'll often settle with a cuddle and is going longer between her night feeds now. I survive by nursing in bed and co-sleeping for about half the night - that, and having a very, very helpful and loving DH.

You'll find lots of support here, it's a great thread with lovely ladies!

Have you read The Fussy Baby Book by Dr Sears? Very helpful and insightful, that one.

Joyful I will not kick you up the bum, but will send un-mn hugs your way. And some empathy...it's hard, isn't it? I have those feelings from time to time as I think DD will probably be my only child. I'm kind of half at peace with that, and half not. Is another definitely out of the question for you? Have you had your MRI? My uncle recently had fusion surgery and it was life-changing. You're early 30's if I remember, yes? Would you mind a larger age gap between your 2nd and 3rd, say if in a few years you were able to get some help for your back and were feeling stronger?

Hello to everyone else too! Sorry, I'm too tired to catch up. Hope you're all hanging in there!

PeggyCarter · 31/10/2012 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Softlysoftly · 01/11/2012 01:20

Helloooooo sorry I've been missing still at my mums with rubbish tinterweb, DH has yet to come and get us (he has my car) my mum is certain he has secretly left me and is waiting for me to figure it out Hmm I just think the lucky bugger is enjoying his sleep!

Anyway Monkey2 conned me with that sleeping trick and is back to her old ways again though she is a beauty in the daytime now even without naps which helps.

Hilde the clock change is a total bastard Angry

Joyful let us know about the scan am crossing everything they are wrong

Everyone!

PeggyCarter · 01/11/2012 03:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 01/11/2012 03:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Softlysoftly · 01/11/2012 12:54

Ah no she's only joking, think I've driven her to the edge with our mess Grin

That sick bug has been going on ages? :(

PeggyCarter · 01/11/2012 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 02/11/2012 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hildebrandisgettinghappier · 02/11/2012 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TitaniaP · 02/11/2012 22:59

Oh Joyful sorry to hear you're so low. I've got over my tonsillitis but DS has been throwing up all day and has been diagnosed with ear/throat infection and has penicillin.

He's also teething and has worn a large blistery, scabby hole in my boob (at base of nipple). It's agony and I can't feed from that side. He doesn't understand this and is getting distressed when he's done feeding from the good side. Argh!