High Needs Baby Support Group (thread IV)

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Yoohooo! Over here!

The last thread was filling up so I've started us a sparkling new one.

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

Thank you Joyful.

I have spent the last hour emailing childminders (had to venture onto netmums )and putting adverts on free sites for nanny shares...

I think that's all I can do for one night!

I've not been around for a while again (bloody work. Tut. How dare they take up so much time?!) How is everyone?

Glad you've seen the doc Joyful - How are you feeling?

LWL - Sorry you're in this predicament. The start of term is tough enough without worrying about DD too. Do you mind me asking how she is with other children? Would you consider a nursery? I've probably been really lucky with the one DS goes to, but I really would recommend it to anyone. The other children really seem to distract him from missing me or getting upset and the staff are amazing. It might be worth visiting a couple to see what you think.

Thanks for the replies :)

We had a really rough night (well I did - she didn't seem at all tired today) but we've had a lovely day today so I'm feeling a lot calmer. Thank you for letting me vent...

Re nurseries - we looked round the 2 closest to us be we had to cut the tours short as she found them too loud/busy! She like being with small numbers of other children for small amounts of time - after a bit she just wants me, and to be slinged...

I think the not drinking milk is part of the problem. But I don't think it's the whole thing. Today she has just wanted to be on/near me and ventured away to do things for short periods - but always come back to be picked up quite quickly. I think she just wants me! I think she'll accept DP and his parents as she knows them so well, but even they have to work quite hard for the last few hours...

I mighgt ask the childminder if I can observe - she did offer to video her a while back as I think I looked sceptical when she said DD was actually happy for most of the day and it was only the last hour she got upset! I think I'll take her up on her offer!

Hm... this is perhaps extreme, but how far is the childminder from school? Could you go cuddle her for half an hour on your lunch break? Or would that make the afternoons worse for both of you?

On another tack, have you had a good look at your department timetable? Is there any possibility at all of you doing any swaps so that you only work mornings? Or smiliar? Alternatively, would you consider taking parental leave? I had never heard of it before seeing it on another thread (and still don't quite understand) but it looks like you could take up to 13 weeks unpaid leave, which may buy you enough time for DD to grow up a bit and become a bit more independent.

I empathise. I only have the one, but DH is determined that he will be the last. It breaks my heart. Still, never say never eh?

Sleeping babies though? I think you've got the wrong thread...

I also empathise. I always always wanted a big family. XH couldn't have kids (and never told me that he knew this), and I think I've met DP too late to have any more now.

Never say never though.....

Sleep! Hah!
DD has been HOURLY waking up the last few nights.... this afternoon I had to go for a nap as I was starting to see things out of the corners of my eyes again.... needless to say DD didn't nap

Does he have a reason for not wanting more?

DS

I think DH has found parenthood much harder and much more exhausting than he expected. He's adamant that this is it. I'm adamant I want more. We're at an impass. Part of the reason I applied for this new job is to give me something else to focus on.

I'm very nearly 40 and yes we cosleep! I really would not be functioning on any level without it....

Still waiting for DD to get tired. Have tried to put her to bed twice now but she just starts crawling around and burbling happily....

That's the plan joyful

Oh, lwl, I thought nights had got easier for you What happens when DP tries tp settle her?

*Just answering Truth before I go back to toddler wrangling - we don't even try DP resettling her anymore - I go to bed when she does, we share a king sized mattress on the floor. DP is in the spare room in his old double bed....

I'm so bloody stressed I might have to buy yet another sling. I'm thinking of Azure ring sling.... I';ve only got the one ring sling!

So I dropped her off today at 9am - tears from both of us. I had to stay at school for a meeting so couldn't pick her up til 5.30ish so DP went in early and picked her up at 4pm. She was very upset and now understands what I was on about. She hasn't been right all evening now... :(

He's talking about getting me pregant ASAP so I can go on maternity leave - kind of ignoring the fact that
A: I'm too bloody tired to DTD with her hourly wakings and
B: I haven't got my cycles back yet (15 months) so there would be no hope....

Gah!