You know you're tired when...

[onetiredmummy]

Daddy Pig's voice starts sounding sexy lol

Hi there, we've moved this into Sleep. Thanks.

Someone walks into the office and says good morning, you reply with Happy Birthday (I did this this morning )

I have done that Giant

I left three doors wide open as I wondered round the park.

I was sooo tired with newborn. Quite something to walk off and not close any doors.

A lovely person was waiting for me when I got back to see if all was ok. I was quite eek at my general out of it ness.

When you go to the self checkout at the supermarket, reply snippily to the machine things like "I have placed the item in the bagging area", finish, pay then walk off and leave your shopping in the bloody bagging area!

When you find yourself lying being 'accidentally' mistaken about the start times of appointments (at the GP/physio etc) just in order to enjoy a bit of extra quiet-time in the waiting room beforehand, childless, with a stack of women's magazines, whilst your mum's kindly looking after the baby back at home. When you get home and claim the appointment was a really long one. I've done this on many an occasion . I'm not a bad person, just a very tiiiiiired one!

When you take newborn in car seat into Boots for some essentials...fill a basket full of stuff but then hand the baby in the car seat to the checkout assistant rather than the shopping. You then stand there waiting for your baby to be scanned in gently rocking the basket. It isn't until you have been stared at for about a minute before you realise

Marking my place. This thread had me almost exploding with laughter tears trying not to wake my hubby in the early hours. Done most of them

When you wake up in the night to the sound of a crying baby, DH turns to you with his arms "craddled" but empty and you panic that he's lost the baby. He can't work out wjhat he's doin wrong. DS was still in his moses basket...

A friend of mine fell asleep whilst in John Lewis's trying out the sofas, her husband wandered off to look at the TV's and came back 30 mins later and she was sound asleep on the sofa, gently snoring.

Thank you everyone, you've all made me cry with laughter and I REALLY need that right now as I've just hit the wall, finally at six months!

I've lost track of the amount of times I've said thingey in the week. "Get the thingey, oh you know, so we can do the thingey at the thingeywadjamacallit."

Step 1: fill the kettle
Step 2: flick the switch
Step 3: walk away and promptly forget the kettle
Step 4: after 1/2 hr or so remember the kettle and return to the kitchen
Step 5: turn the socket on at the wall - which seems to be instrumental in making the water boil :)

Or
Steps 1 to 4 as above
Step 5: put coffee milk and sugar in cup
Step 6: fill cup with cold water from the kettle
Step 7: stare at cup trying to work out why the coffee is not dissolving

I wouldn't mind but our kettle lights up when it is plugged in and changes colour when it is hot.

Remembered a few more of my "classic's"

While on the bus going to work, to your horror you remember last nights bedroom antics with DP and frantically search for a mirror any god damn mirror to make sure your hair doesn't resemble Mary's ( from there's something about mary)

While in the office, your chatting to a co-worker while drinking a coffee and trying to leave notes on an account.....at the same time reaching into your bag to pull out some painkillers....however, you find cigarettes and a lighter and proceed to light one up !! very quickly extinguished before the fire alarms go off and manager see's and marches you off the premises Phew nobody knows it was me....except around 10 members of my own team who have never let me live it down :( and I've probably just outed myself by writing that lol

I'm crying with laughter reading these because I've done at least half of them :)

I've run a bath before...sat on the toilet seat whilst it was running only to fall asleep there...woke up to OH shaking me awake (he'd turned the taps off) to tell me the bath water had gone cold so I grabbed a glass off the side, scooped some bath water into it and started walking downstairs...

OH "where are you going with that?"

Me "am gonna warm it up in the microwave"

I fell asleep today whilst reading to DD, think she let me sleep for about 10 mins before asking me to finish the book.

Getting back from school run, I sat on the stairs in the hall to take off my shoes, leaned my head against the wall, closed my eyes just for a second .... Was woken 20 mins later by 6 year old DS who, bored with cartoons, had decided to find out where the juice and snack provider had got to ......

(me today)

You have desperate trouble counting seven spoons of formula into the pot

"one, two, three, four, wait was that fourth spoon out of the tub or the fourth one into the pot, five, what was I up to, four or five, hmm think it was five, oh god have I still been putting spoons in while I think, shit is that seven already, did I miss out six....." And continue.

If you wake up later than 7am naturally, you immediately panic and assume they must be ill and charge into their room to check they are still breathing ...

You're sitting there and notice your DH looking at you expectantly... when he says: 'And...?' you realise that you must have trailed off in the middle of a sentence and no longer have any idea what you were saying. Again.