High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Oh Button what a load of absolute shit! :( I'm so on your behalf. Your poor little man, and you - suffering because of someone's incompetence. I hope you've managed to get some rest lady.

After a string of maybe two or three quite good nights (by our standards - not really saying that much to be honest but we'll celebrate the small victories) last night was a return to shiteness. He's got ANOTHER bloody cold. He's been off nursery for a week with hand, foot and mouth, he went back on Tuesday, was sent home because they thought he had more blisters on his hands, GP cleared him, he went back on Thursday, and now he's got ANOTHER bloody illness.

We're pretty much decided on taking him out to be honest. It's too much. The last few days, he's just been well and himself, and he's been amazing fun and such a joy. But he just picks up bug after bug and it's making us all miserable. DH is at home with him at the moment anyway, so the nursery days are pretty frivalous to be fair. I really like the nursery but I can't help thinking that he is far too young for all these bugs, one after the other, and DH and I just can't cope with even worse sleep.

Tickle- the only consolation is that you will have a very healthy child by the end, cos every bug builds resilience and immunity- that's all I can console u with
Button, what can I say???!!!!!

Hi,
tickle I'm a teacher & in my 1st year I caught everything and was I'll for pretty much the whole year! Since then I've been a lot better so I'm seconding the opinion... He will have an excellent immune system!!

button that is truly shit!!! They better rush it through for you now.

Well here I'm not sure what is going on tonight... Dd had 1/2hr nap from 3.30-4 as usual then we went out to eat. She was acting a bit tired in the restaurant and was yawning etc. so got home did usual bath, bottle, bed... But she would NOT go to sleep so she's been downstairs with us again and dp is trying to get her off now. She is only ever awake for 2hrs at a time without major grumps so now she's been awake for 4hrs and been happy.

Am I crazy to be feeling hopeful for a good night?

Keeping fingers crossed for you Zambo!

Ta ladies, we've decided to take him out though. Till he's older. Will save us a big chunk of money a month that we can use to boost our house fund so I think it'll be okay.

Things not so good with DH and I at the moment. I don't know if it's tiredness, frustration or what. But we don't seem to like each other very much at the moment. I can't believe we are at this point to be honest. I can't believe this is my life. I'm just so bloody tired and want my warm loving husband back and I want to be his warm, loving wife. Not two people who are hanging by a thread and doing and giving everything for DS and having nothing left for each other. Sigh...

tickle I think you've made a good choice in taking him out. Poorly babies put a lot of strain on the mum and dad. You may find that once he has been out of nursery for a while & well that you & dh are less stressed and therefore happier! I'm hoping you've had a good day today.

I tried going with 2 naps today rather than 3 - I just moved them a bit later but she did really well & was happy all day. Asleep at 7.30 which is quite late for her. She was awake from 3.30 so that's ages.

However tomorrow I'll have to do 1st nap early again as we have baby sensory at 10. So she will prob need 3 naps but we can hopefully get back on track after that.

Hope everyone else is ok & getting some sleep!

I wrote a long response earlier and MN ate it so I went off and stropped. However, a little while and a glass of wine later I?m back! (having typed this on word first!)

Thanks for all your lovely thoughts. I am feeling a lot better. I did go to the GP on Monday but due to being bumped to another dr I chickened out. The one I saw is the one who makes me feel ever so slightly as if I?m there too much (with 4dcs it?s never going to be any different but even so?). I?m making another appointment with Dr Nice though as although I?m feeling better I think I?ve finally realised that this is a cyclical thing and therefore will happen again.

DS is fully recovered but we?re still dealing with the fallout in terms of eczema. He?s sleeping appallingly badly. The good news though is that his referral has finally been done and is marked as asap. When I rang first thing this morning it hadn?t been done so I got very politely stroppy and within 5 mins had a call back saying they?d faxed it over and marked it as urgent. I?m really hoping I hear soon as I?m pinning my hopes on the specialist really being able to help.

Joyful I?m really pleased that you managed to stay and enjoy your holiday. Even if some things stay the same, a change of scenery is a wonderful pick me up.

tickle hang in there. I know that if ds had been dc1 he?d have been an only as it?s been so tough and I think that dh and I would have been in real trouble. The thing is, he?s not ? he?s dc4 so I know that however horrible this is, it will end. With your first, whether you?re a week, a month or a year in, if things are bad, there?s a very real fear that this is the way it will always be. I know that I?m living in a tunnel ? I can?t see the end right now but I know it?s there. You don?t. But it is, I promise.

I know it?s hard but even having a chat at home if you can?t get out with your fella would do you good. Just so you can both realise that you?re still a team, still wanting the same things even if you can?t see how to get there right now. I?m so sorry you?re feeling so low. It will get better. I just can?t tell you when.

Two good nights. I'm not stupid enough to think it's a corner - just enjoying the extra sleep...

DD2 has maintained her weight this month. But she's also grown a cm which means her BMI has dropped. I don't know whether to be pleased or not!

Hi everyone, I've not had much time for mumsnet recently. DS is still not sleeping well at night, still has a permanent cold (thanks nursery!) and still doesn't eat much so wants to bf constantly whenever he's with me, but somehow we're coping.

He seems to enjoy nursery, I'm enjoying work (although I'm knackered) and DP and I are getting on better.

We have made the decision to start nightweaning/sleep training after his birthday though, mainly because I'm going back to working nights and weekends in August so DP needs to be able to settle him. Plus DP has never looked after him by himself for longer than 6hrs before!

Will try and catch up with the thread later but hope you're all ok

What books do you make/ write joyful ?

My 8 weeks old baby refuses to nurse when alert ? have to rock him to sleep and then to feed him AFTER naps. He does not want breast before naps ( occasionally will nurse before the nap, but it is very rare). Before each nap he CRIES and CRIES to show that he is ready for nap and I will intuitively offer breast ? he will refuse and then I have to rock him to sleep. Do not know whether it is nursing strike and whether I can change it to nurse him before nap so that he does not cry?please help with ideas.

Oh, but we've paid for the two good nights. Have been up for an hour already. Having been up at 12, 12.30, 1.30, 2.30, 3.30. He slept beautifully all evening which means I could have got a few hours then except we'd invited friends round. They didn't go til gone 11 so by the time I'd got to bed I hadn't even gone to sleep before he started.

I've got that horrible dry scratchy eye feeling. Bleurgh.

Poor little man though. The reason he was awake is he was so very itchy. He was trying to be asleep the whole time and failing miserably

Feeling the same way Joyful I can't imagine having had to go through this already and I think you're doing amazing, for what my opinion is worth. I'm getting to the end of my tether once again. He's just learned to pull himself up to standing, which is fantastic, but I'm getting really bored with blaming his bad sleep on development, teeth, etc when really it is because he wakes and wants reassurance via the medium of milk/boob. And I'd be totally ok with that if we hadn't for the last 11 months, given him every comfort and reassurance. But we have. Maybe that's the problem. Sigh. I've got a horrible feeling that this is going to end badly, I.e there will be a lot of crying even using gentle methods. But mummy and daddy are tired and have really had enough now. Getting in touch with Millpond today to see what they suggest.

Sorry for the uberwhine, hope you ladies have a good day.

Right completely self-indulgent sorry for myself post coming up...

Dd is WIDE awake - its 3.20 and she's been awake since 2.30. She also woke every hour prior to that. What the f-ing Nora is going on?

I make sure she naps well, not too early, not too late & not for too long... Nothing makes any difference she is just a rubbish sleeper! I'm approaching end of tether fast here!

Dp made redundant so I'm going back to work full time in 2 weeks & working 2 days/ week this week & next.... What the hell am I going to do then? I can't just sit up all night then???

Oh bollocks... I'm in a right old strop!!

Zambo Don't worry about the moany post, that's what we're here for! No advice lady, but total sympathy. Sending hugs.

Joyful Thanks for that lady. Last night he really did not want to be put down in his cot for bedtime, I ended up sitting next to his cot on the nursing chair that I've never once used for nursing, holding his hand till he was asleep. Separation anxiety it is, then. Poor fella.

So tired this morning. My turn to get up with him too, sigh.

Hope your little man gets full soon Joyful, happy half-birthday to him!

Stunning. I have tonsilitis. Was inevitable as I'm so run down but not nice all the same. Going to try to get a gp appointment later and talk them into giving me some lovely drugs which will then give me thrush