High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Hi button, so sorry to hear you are having a rubbish night. Have you managed some sleep now? Have you got friends or relatives nearby who could help you a bit this week?

Please don't feel guilty for feeling like you do. I have moments like that too where I think longingly of my old life prior to dd!! I feel jealous of baby-less friends & their freedom! But then one of my friends lost her baby at 22 weeks and whenever I feel like I miss my old life thoughts of her pop into my headand I feel unbelievably selfish & awful!! But sleep deprivation is a terrible thing and our babies know we love them - we wouldn't be sitting up all bloody night with them otherwise!

Oh Button Sending you hugs lady. Sleep deprivation is awful and we've all pretty much had it since before our bubs were born (I'm looking at you, stupid bladder needing me to get out of bed to pee 10 times per night during pregnancy - gawd, if I only realised how easy that was in comparison to this!)

This too shall pass, lady. I know what you mean about rethinking things. It's only really ever in the middle of the night and in the early morning when DS is awake for the day that I wonder if I haven't made a mistake. But then I know that I love him and, apart from his sleep, wouldn't change him for the world.

Speaking of which, our night time separation lasted until 1am this morning. Then I slept up in his room for the night as he was a bit unsettled

Thanks guys. Feeling a bit more rational this morning. All the friends I have round here are great to go out with etc but I'd feel really awkward asking them to have ds for me. Both parents are out of the equation - ds's mum has his g'ma living with them, she still works full time and his g'ma has just had a bad angina attack. My mum is on high alert as my sister's due with her 2nd on Wednesday so she's ready to help her and I couldn't ask her to help me instead. Besides which they all live 1.5hrs+ away.

I also get the feeling that whenever I say how bad he's sleeping or how challenging he is I always get the distinct impression that they're thinking 'well, why have a fourth then?' which is a valid comment expect I want to shout at them 'because the others were are obviously unnaturally amazing at sleeping etc'. Which wouldn't really help.

Have an appointment on Thursday to see the GP. I could have got one sooner but I wanted to see the 'nice' one (they're all reptty nice really, he's just nicer than the rest).

Right. Off to deal with Sir Stinky Bum.

Hi everyone. Gah this weather - it is making everything such hard work with the DTs. When we are at home they really notice more just how neglected they are as DD saps all the attention available

Button sorry to hear you've reached a low ebb. Our family are all too far away also - mine 4 hours away & inlaws 3 hours away but they're useless anyway

My back is breaking from carrying DD all day, anyone got a good sling to recommend for a bigger baby? I loved the Kari Me up until now but at 6m she is too heavy I think for the stretchy fabric. I'm hoping one day I'll be able to actually put her down - maybe when she can sit up or crawl it'll be easier..?

thank you for all the welcome messages

Hi all, I agree on the weather front untamed - we've been bored today!! Went to see my next door neighbour who told me she is pregnant again (she has a 2 yr old and an 8 month old) - can't quite imagine that!

I'm noticing that dd really needs to do stuff everyday - I was struggling to keep her entertained today. It's hard to know what to do though. She is 5.5months, is almost sitting - can sit but only for v short periods. Where can you take them at that age? Any ideas welcome!

My family are also quite far away, 1.5hrs but dp's mum is only 2mibs away. She is nearly 70 though but she had dd for me this afternoon so I could do a quick v wet dog walk. Dd hates the rain cover so walking in the rain is a bit painful as I'm accompanied by endless whinging!

We start baby sensory tomorrow which should be good. Hopefully she will enjoy it. We are going to the harry potter studio tour on Thursday - I'm a bit concerned that dd will be moany as she refuses to sleep if we are anywhere remotely interesting. I hope she will be ok as I'm really looking forward to it.

Well I'm in bed already anticipating another fun filled night - i've got my fingers crossed for everyone to have a good night!

Joyful - does anyone have a spare key? Can you ring a neighbour or something? I know they couldn't really do much if your house is flooded but at least you would know what was happening.

Glad you got to London ok - I hope there isn't any bad news from home & that you have a good time.

Oh Joyful :( I hope it doesn't come to that lady. Maybe try one more night to see if theyre a bit more used to it tonight?

I usually get a tendency to punch stuff (inanimate things) or scream into a pillow when things get really bad. Normal, I'd say. A way of controlling something, when so much else is out of our control? No idea really. Does make me feel better though!

Had a good night last night, DS up as usual at 10pm, then 1.30am and then woke for the day at 5.40am. Never thought I'd live in a reality where two times getting out of bed is a dream and 5.40am is a lie in...

It's DH's turn to take him down so I can sleep on, but I'm wide awake - those heady 4 hours straight sleep are messing with me!

What a shame Joyful - hope you get a chance for some rest today. Our 'holiday' was a bit disastrous too but that was down to the MIL and not the DC at least!! .

Bad night here - 10pm, 1.30, 2.30, 4, and then the day starts at 5.50. We have a busy day planned too with the DT's friend here for lunch and play date.

Oh no joyful - I 2nd maybe giving it 1 more night to see if they settle a bit. I hope you manage to have a fun day today.

Untamed - that sounds like our nights. Although it's pretty much constant from 4 so I usually let dd in our bed from then till 6. Last night was bad though - she woke at 12 and had only just gone back at 1, then woke again at 1.30 so I gave up and let her in our bed which is much better but not really what I want to get into!

My night wasn't great. He slept 7-9, 9.45-12 and 3-6.30 but not between 12&3. I'm sure his version of events went like this:

Muuuum I'm on my tummy I don't want to be on my tummy I want to sleep on my back turn me over!
Muuuum I'm on my back I don't want to be on my back I want to sleep on my tummy turn me over!
Muuuum I'm on my tummy I don't want to be on my tummy I want to sleep on my back turn me over!
Muuuum I'm on my back I don't want to be on my back I want to sleep on my tummy turn me over!

And so on. For 3 solid hours! I mean - he's 11m, crawling, standing etc but at night he can't turn himself over AT ALL

By 3am I was making a promise to myself that I was going to research cc today but now it's light I'm not so sure!

Joyful I hope something good happens and you get to stay for your holiday. And yes - throwing things, punching things - they're all things I want to do and somethimes do

Yes joyful - last Tuesday I completely lost it (had 2hrs sleep the previous night) and threw a plastic beaker and the plastic laundry basket across the room whilst crying rather hysterically! I felt completely mad for doing that so kind of glad others have felt the same!

:( Joyful So sorry lady. Is he just not settling at all? Sending hugs.

Oh no joyful that is so rubbish! Maybe you could leave after taking dd out today so at least you would get today together?

We had a terrible night - feel like we've taken a massive step backwards. She wouldn't settle and was taking a good 20 mins to get back to sleep every time she woke which was about every hour! She's been awake since 5 so has now gone down for a nap, at 7! Ridiculously early. She wouldn't even sleep in my bed which has been working recently!

I've got a keeping in touch day at work as well today so a friend is looking after her - she would do this today! I thought things were improving slightly!

I hope everyone else had good nights xx

DS failed his apple challenge today. I thought we were free and clear as he had all of the apple he was required to and then before they took his last obs I noticed that he had hives forming on his arms and then legs. They took his obs saying that at least it wasn't a dangerous reaction but then all that cjhanged when his sats had gone down to 89%. We gave him a dollop of piriton and took them again in 15mins with the warning that if they hadn't gone up enough he'd have to be admitted overnight to receive oxygen. Thankfully they'd gone up to 95% so they let us go with the warning that if I was unhappy in any way I was to take him immediately to the children's AEU.

Although it was the most delayed reaction he's had during the challenges it was def the worst and shook me up a bit.

Joyful I'm so sorry you're not enjoying your holiday. Is it worth checking out hotels locally? Travelodges often do very good deals and even if you only stayed a couple of extra nights it might help? Even if I'm too late to stop you going home, look into it for the last couple of nights of the holiday - seriously, sometimes you can get deals for ~£30ish.

Oh Puddle. I'd be inclined to just keep an eye on him and if he's sick or more sleepy than normal I'd take him. Otherwise I wouldn't. Babies are remarkably resilient. That's what I'd do though obviously if you feel you want to take him go for it.

I've not been around much recently as its been pretty hectic IRL.

It's DS' 1st birthday today (and I'm still breastfeeding!) he decided to celebrate this by waking up at 5.30. Argh!

Button I'm sorry lady, hope the little man is okay? And yourself, how are you doing now?

Titania Massive congratulations on BF for a year! And happy birthday babyTitania!

Joyful Glad you're still there lady, and having a good time (aside from sleep, but isn't that always the way?!) I agree with Titania - keep a close eye on him. Sending hugs lady, what a nasty shock for you both.

Happy birthday BabyT - it's mine too and so far is turning out to be one of the worst. Can't seem to get a grip. Need to ring the eczema specialist about ds as we've heard nothing about his referral in 5 weeks. I know it's worse because of the apple, but it's pretty awful at the mo. Which means loads of whinging and bad sleep - poor boy.

Joyful I'm sure he'll be fine. DS has done that once or twice before. Like the others, I'd keep an eye on him and whip him up to A&E if you're at all worried.

The reason we've not heard anything is that the gp has not done the sodding referral. I've been waiting for that and the fuckers haven't done it. I told him I was getting no sleep because poor ds is so damn itchy. I've just had to hang up on the receptionist because I was crying so hard that I couldn't speak.

Why is it when you ask for help you get none? He even said he knew how I felt as his own dcs had eczema. Not enough to do anything about it though eh? I bet his poor wife has to deal with all the nights like I do so he doesn't really know how I feel at all.