High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Bella Sending you strength, lady. They really are challenging at this age, and I naively believed everyone who said it gets easier at 3 months, then 6 months, etc. it's never been easy for lots of our quiche!

We've decided to move DS's bedtime forward as it seems that he is starting to want to drop his 3rd nap, so he went to bed at 6pm last night and, despite a million wake-ups for feeds and from his cough, he woke for the day at 5.45am, so no different to when he was going to bed at 7/7.30. So we'll keep that up for a few days and see how it goes.

I just don't know what we'll do on nursery days as he refuses his morning nap there, sometimes having half an hour after lunch, and then a long nap at about 1/2pm when he gets home. Am hoping that's not going to mess with him too much...

Had a scary moment last night. Apparently at some point in the morning I decided to bring DS into our bed. I don't remember doing this. It was only when DH woke up and asked if he'd finished feeding so he could resettle him that I realised he was there... DS must have been confused to say the least! Sleep deprivation does some weird things. I'd prefer not to be picking up DS in a stupor of tiredness though, what if I'd dropped him, or not moved the pillows away enough :(

tickle try not to worry too much - your ds is now of an age where he'll have some survival instinct of his own so wouldn't just suffocate passively like a newborn, he'd let you know he was in trouble I'm sure! (not sure how much comfort that is...)

Bella I'm with you there. We've cracked the self settling thing 90% of the time, which is fabulous, but I can't get him to stay asleep. I know that for many babies this is entirely normal, but in my experience with the others it ain't so I think I've been spoiled! He's started cutting back hard on his day time sleeps too - managed 1.5 hours total yesterday which is not enough for me him as he's too grumpy by 4pm to make anything easy until bed time. Sigh. It will pass. It will. Perhaps I'll believe that myself if I say it often enough...

I hear you, Puddle - DH and I think like that about DS. Every night we say things like 'oh it's the sleep regression' or 'it's his teeth' or 'he's been quite windy today' as if he is usually such a brilliant sleeper!

Ha! We do that too! And every night we think 'tonight could be the night he finally sleeps through!' Never is, though. Never been close!

Puddle - when DD was that age she wouldn't feed lying down either. I was on my knees as she fed every hour/2 hours... However at about 4/5 months she suddenly clicked with feeding lying down. Still feeds every hour/2 hours mind!

I look back at photos of her as a tiny baby - and she always looks knackered! Huge bags, dark circles... so she wasn't getting enough sleep either, so something must have been stopping her from sleeping.,...

Well we had a rubbish nights sleep. I swear she was on/off/on/off every 10 minutes... even she woke up grumpy and tired!

Oh and she's trying to drop her morning 30min nao - leaving her with just her afternoon 30min nap! That can't be right for a 10 month odl surely?!!

I've just been looking at the wake to sleep thread wondering if it would be any good for ds? He generally sleeps ok for the first part of the night but wakes at 3 (give or take 30mins either way) almost as if woken by an alarm. I wonder if rousing him at 1.30-2 would help him to sleep longer?

Which thread Button? I've heard about doing that but don't know enough about it

It's ok- have googled the technique- cant do any harm to try it

That's what I'm wondering. It seems a proactive way of tackling the problem without any of the CIO/CC associations the other proactive methods seem to have. It's on this sleep page - a long title, something about early risers etc.

I haven't googled it though. Might have a gander to check on the details before I try it properly!

puddlie sorry youre so knackered 30 mins nap really doesn't sound enough. my 7m dd is struggling to nap too unless while feeding and its frustrating when you see how exhausted they get. im sorry youre so worn out at the minute, your an amazing mum.

button i couldn't find the wake to sleep thread, but if it means waking them to feed them at a certain time, we started to do that. about a couple of months ago dh started waking her at around 12.30 (well not fully waking her but enough to feed her) and giving her a bottle. as a result she doesn't wake as often so it is worth it for us.

im so knackered at the minute too....

Sending you strength Joyful :( No advice just lots of sympathy, it is the hardest job in the world at the best of times, let alone when you're holding onto your sanity by a thread.

DS almost decided that 4.30am was awake time this morning... Luckily, for my sanity, he eventually fed and went back to sleep him my arms and we snuggled up until he woke at 7.15. Much better. Hubs is still in bed though, he's done his back in bless him!

Bloody rain again :( Hope you all have good days.

Bah. First period in 19 months. Arrived this morning. Forgot how horrid they are...

Joyful Was just thinking how I feel during those times, like I'm losing my mind . Hope your fair goes well.

Queen Oh nooooo! I was talking to DH yesterday about how weird it will be when I finally get mine back. I used to think it would be odd not having them, but now it will be even odder to have them back! Hope you don't feel too rough with them lady.

Oh my god... living the dream right now. Just put pickle down for his lunch time nap, awake, with his cuddly elephant, and left the room. Little moan as I left, but he just Fell Asleep. With no fuss.

He
Slept
From
9.30
Til
7.15.

That's all. I'm still in shock. And not expecting a repeat performance ever tonight.

Weirdly after a rubbish evening and a day where he ate not a lot too

This is the thread It's about waking them very slightly a little earlier than their habitual waking time in order to restart their sleep cycle and hopefully break the habit. I've been wondering whether the v early morning wake up (usually 3.15 but can vary slightly) might be helped by it.

Wow Button that's amazing. I can't imagine DS ever sleeping like that. Sounds massively over dramatic but I'm surprised when he goes three hours, let alone 9! So depressing but I just can't see it.

Had a nightmare getting DS down this evening. Guessing a bit of separation anxiety kicking in, screamed his head off if I so much as walked out of his sight.

Another tiff with hubs tonight. Sigh. We're both just so tired and DH's back is really sore. My mum has offered to have DS overnight for us for one night so we can get some sleep. Thing is, her and my dad don't get on so we'd have to take him to her house on the south coast and it isn't too familiar to DS. Would worry about him getting upset without us (or more likely the Boob) but I have to say I'm so very, very tempted.

wow tickle and button that is great i really hope these are not one off occurances!

Joyful thanks for asking, dh and me are ok at the minute -since we had all those serious talks, things seem a bit better. he is working on coursework round the clock too which means we aren't in each others hair all the time. he's got a big scary impossible sounding essay coming up which im hoping won't cause stress problems for us!

took dd to church this morning and she was unsettled the whole way through, i came home completely exhausted and have been since - cannot WAIT to go to bed tonight and im hoping she sleeps

ah sorry tickle just got your next post...sorry your getting it rough it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the minute. the offer of help does sound good and you really do deserve it and need it

It's as I thought - the one baby 'good cop, bad cop' show was in force last night. I can imagine his thought processes... 'I'll give 'em one good night - that should be enough to see them through the hell I've got in mind...'

No feeding - but awake lots. Sigh.

Hugs to those in need. tickle I'd be very tempted too. The irony is he'd probably sleep like that mythical baby everyone talks about!

joyful splitting yourself into pieces , or rather, not being able to is one of the age old mum dilemmas. It's hard

jan soun ds like baby steps forward. I always say with dh that it's not necessarily that everything changes for the better, but that if we're both pullling in the same direction that's a good start. And the fact that he's making an effort is encouraging.

Right then ladies - expect lots of grumpiness from me. I'm on a diet. Tipped the scales at a not very good number (not my heaviest ever but nearly!) and I want to lose a lot. I'm aiming for Christmas - I'd love to wear a lovely size 12 dress for Christmas this year, which I've never done before. DH was lovely the other night, as I was saying if I do lose all that weight (50 odd lb) and tone up I'll still have my kanga pouch. He spent ages trying to say in the nicest possible way without getting himself into trouble that if it would make me happy he'd find the cash for a tummy tuck. He was so funny - trying not to insinuate that he'd like me to have one or make me feel there was anything wrong with my tummy - he almost tied himself in Knots! TBH I'm not sure how I feel about it - I'd love a tummy which didn't swing in the breeze, but the thought of all that money, pain, recovery time etc - it's not appealing.