High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Lol @ babyButton! Little scamp

Hugs to all those who had rubbish nights... ours actually wasn't too bad - loads of awakenings as usual, but only brief, I just had to get her latched on each time and Bang! she went back to sleep again!

She barely fed though so she really does need breast to resettle - I did at one point try patting/reassuring and she got majorly worked up and properly woken up. Had to bring her downstairs for a bit until she was sleepy again... Any suggestions on this? I'm tempted to just wait until she developmentally can self-settle...

Oh and "get well soon" vibes to babyTickle :)

Poor Puddlefamily :(

Well... we've had a few bits of prgress tonight!

Firstly... DP was holding DD while I bolted dinner down... (really didn't think we'd STILL have to be eating in shifts at 10 months, but there you go...), when she fell asleep in his arms! She NEVER does this in the evenings! Other times of day, in the sling on DP, yes, but evenings she just wants Mummy!

Secondly... he put her in her cot asleep. She stayed asleep for a good half an hour! When she woke, I fed her and put her back in her cot - she stayed asleep for another 20 mins! I actually had time downstairs!

I then felt so weird at not actually being with her, and felt so sorry for her being all alone in her cot, that the next time she woke, I got into bed and brought her in with me, and SHE'S STILL ASLEEP BESIDE ME NOW!

I almost feel like I've had a baby-swap....

Also, isn't it mad that I can't bear to leave her in her cot now, when that's all I used to want to do... and that leaving them all alone in their cots is normal for most UK babies - but now seems very unnatural to me!

I'm nuts, aren't I?

Sorry, overdose of "!"s there...

Well, ds is in his cot, and very happy there. I miss him. I love that he wakens at 3/4 and I can take him in beside me.

Never bloody happy...

Getting to the very end of my tether now...

tickle It will pass. You won't be doing this in 5 years time. I know you want to punch me because it's not 5 years time you're worried about it's now but I promise - it WILL pass.

Hugs.

Haha - I know what you mean about the baby swap LWL. I had a similar experience yesterday. Had a friend round for lunch and at 2pm I could hold off nap time no longer and said "just going to put him down for a nap - back in 20 minutes." In my head I was thinking "why on earth are you saying that? He is not going to sleep and you're going to have to drag everyone out for a walk in the rain to get him off." Well, I fed him off to sleep on his king sized mattress and slunk away and he stayed asleep for 2 hours!!!! I actually felt like a proper mother for once. My friend (who is pregnant with her first) said "so you get 2 hours a day to relax then". I didn't have the heart to break the reality to we so just said "hmmm, sometimes". But this has NEVER happened before!

Of course he was a total bugger at bedtime but there was no-one around to see that!

Tickle - you ok? Sorry, missed your pose with all my blathering.

Sorry for the melodramatic post last night ladies. I'm okay now, thank you both. Just one of those nights where I have just Had Enough. Little man has not been well, as you know, but is on the mend now and is getting back to his old self. But he's learned that he can get himself into a sitting position from his front (where he sleeps) and so every time we tried to put him down to sleep he'd end up sitting up crying, and I know it's not his fault, but it took about 2 frustrating hours to get him off to sleep, him getting more and more OT. Then he woke up and (being a cruel, heartless mum that I am, or at least feel like now) I refused to feed him for more than an hour, offering him water instead :( He wasn't hungry - in fact, we managed to get him settled back to sleep in his cot a few times only for him to cough awake or sit up in his sleep. I felt awful and so at 2am I caved and fed him, and he had a nice feed and went peacefully into his cot until 4.45, then had another feed and, where that would normally be him awake for the day, I managed to get him back to sleep until 6.45am - our longest lay in in months.

In my head I want to be this perfect mum who doesn't mind feeding every 2 hours and meeting all my baby's needs day or night. But it's becoming clear that DH and I are going to have to start meeting our needs too (for sleep, for some kind of physical relationship, to start enjoying parenthood again) or trouble could potentially be on the horizon :(

Sorry for the essay. I think it's hitting home harder because we'd made real progress with his self settling to sleep over the past month and he rarely needed resettling before 9/10pm. It just seems to be one step forward and then two steps back.

This too shall pass. Hoping I don't have to wait 5 years though Button

Queen That's so great, don't you just love it when that happens! :)

Joyful I'm so sorry your DD is poorly again. Sending get well vibes.

LWL Thank you for the get well vibes for BabyTickle - they're working I think. Seen some smiles this morning for the first time in ages :)

Sigh. Now he's just sat up during his morning nap...

Poor tickle and poor babyTickle :(

I know what you mean about wanting to be the perfect mum, but it's just not possible... and your baby needs a family so you do what you need to do....

I go through phases where I just can't cope and feel like I'm getting zero sleep, and phases where I feel I've slept great - like now - but nothing was different in the amount of wakeups etc. She still woke with a very full double boosted nappy and woke probably 10 times... maybe you are just having a bad phase and tomorrow it will start feeling better?

Glad you got some smiles :)

hey everyone...

how are you all....not able to fully catch up with the thread but nice to see the progress some of the HN babies are making and sorry for those who are struggling to cope right now.

Reason why i haven't been in here as much is because I have spent all my time discussing ranting about dh on another thread as ive had it, and we practically split up due to him disrespecting me. anyway, following our counselling on wednesday, he has made more promises to change andme being a sucker is waiting to see and trying to get a lot of support in the meantime.

dd has had heavy cold and ive sore throat and ears, dh has chest infection - but dd is a little joy to be around now. she is mostly very happy now, needs entertained constantly still and giggles a lot and its keeping me going. my family came over with their baby, there is 2 weeks difference between them. theirs was a placid baby, beautiful - she sat in the car seat, gazed around her, cried when hungry, then gobbled spoon feeds down and went to sleep. repeat. dd on the other hand, was dd. full of beans, full of mischief, only wanting the boob, not sleeping! they said, their dd is like a baby, but my dd is like a little girl!

thinking of u all im a bit all over the place these days

Oh jan, sorry to hear you're having troubles... hope he gets his act together.

5 years was just a pick out of the air time tickle!

Jan I'm sorry you're going through that.

Feeling a bit down today myself. Found out that a good friend of our who has just got through prostate cancer about 18m ago now has a huge inoperable tumour on his pancreas. He's not young (mid 60s) but he's had a hard life as a car crash in his teens left him with permanent ongoing memory problems. Seems a bit unfair really. When I was a kid, cancer happened, but I only remember it happening to someone I knew once or twice. In that last 12m I've lost 2 family members and 2 friends as well as knowing of at least 7/8 others who have been diagnosed. Seems so common and so indiscriminate

button really sorry to hear about your friend....it is very sad about cancer now. i think they say one in every 3 people will get it now at some stage in their life

Button :( So sorry to hear that lady. Cancer is an evil disease. Thinking of you and your friend.

Jan So sorry you're going through relationship troubles, I hope he sorts himself out and realises what a lucky man he is to have you and DD. We're all here to hold your hand and offer support where we can.

thank you tickleme thats very kind.

hoping all of your nights go ok... :)

Grump grump grump.

He will not go to sleep. I have been feeding him for over an hour. I have a huge crack on one side which is agony and am physically & mentally exhausted. DS1 was similar at the same age but I wasn't working then and could at least put him down during the day without him screaming. He is 9 months old, on 3 meals plus a million snacks a day and yet I feel like I have a newborn. he naps for no more than 30 mins twice a day if I'm lucky and usually only when held. I'm on my knees, I don't know what more I can do.

Jan- I'm do sorry- hope things improve soon, one way or another

Bella. I really feel for you- been there too. Reached my tethers end, I ended up in tears to dh, who stepped in at night time, he saw to all the wakenings. I fed once- around 3/4. After a couple of weeks the wakenings reduced. A month on ds wakens at 3/4, for feed, then sleeps- we co-sleep from that point. It might help if u try something like that? Of nothing else, you'll get more rest for a time anyway