High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Oooh yes that FSOT page is addictive! I'm stalking a couple of wraps atm, and trying to persuade myself that I don't really need 4 woven wraps, (in addition to 1 ring sling, 1 mae tai, and a ssc... oh and a stretchy!)

For Sale or Trade ... www.naturalmamas.co.uk/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=28

It's where I feed my sling addiction!

I just say "thanks for the advice" now as well, and sometimes have to add "that's not my parenting style" if they get too pushy...

or www.facebook.com/groups/209783279077720/

I've dropped DD's name before as well - easily done!

Titania et al - a friend just sent me these links after I was saying similar things to you. I cant explain why it feels so wrong or defend my anti-CIO position coherently, possibly due to sleep deprivation admittedly . You might find them useful (although the second made me cry not hormonal at all)

archive.blisstree.com/live/why-sleep-training-makes-me-want-to-cry/

www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/

P.S. I love the name Connor, Joyful. You have good taste!

Oh wow, great links queen! The second one made me cry too!

LWL - persevere, they do get attached to it eventually. I am currently encouraging DS2 to form an attachment to this gorgeous striped elephant that belonged to DS1 (you pull it's tail and it plays "The Candyman Can" ) and while it's working it's a slow process. I did the same thing with DS1 & spent a lot of time with a stuffed rabbit shoved between my boobs. Which was fine until the day I forgot and answered the door to the postman...

Ladies! Hello! Sorry I've not been around for a while, back to work, OFSTED hovvering, DS poorly so it's all been a bit manic. How are you all?

Hi everyone, I've been busy with work so haven't had a chance to catch up.

DS is now waking hourly overnight then is awake for the day between 4 and 5am so I'm exhausted :( he's got yet another cold and seems to be teething again, but I think it's probably developmental as well. It doesn't help that I'm having some boob issues and am possibly going to have to stop feeding from one side due to longstanding problems for the last 6 weeks which I can't solve - I'm waiting for a lady from the la leche league phone line to get back to me but if they don't have any suggestions then I'll just have to stop :(

I've got the morning off tomorrow and am already looking forward to a nap - very sad!

Talk about emotional ambush...

And that's why I can't let my lovely little snuggly devil cry for too long. It hurts us both.

SpannerPants I'm LLL trained peer supporter. Anything I can help with? I can't promise anything but I'll do my best!

Queen - that second link had reduced me to a dribbling mess (well even more of one than usual!). I like it though. I showed it to DP as he asked "now what are you blubbing about". He didn't say much but I think he understands my reasoning a little bit more now.

SP sorry to hear that you're having feeding problems. Hope they're resolved soon

Truth - good luck with OFSTED.

Hey ladies, just quickly checking in, will catch up properly later. DS has been very poorly with a cough, cold and throat infection for the last week or so and has barely slept. Better night last night though he has a horrible cough. Kept him off nursery but think he might be well enough to go in tomorrow morning.

Found out some horrible things yesterday about DH's best friend and feeling a bit shell shocked. Long and short of it is he has a 2 year old and a brand new baby with his lovely wife, and (by a dumb error on his part) we now know he is a cheating bastard. Men truly are absolute shits sometimes.

That sounds rubbish tickle esp for your DH - to be so wrong about someone you think is great is hard. It can really skew your perception for a bit. I hope you're in contact with his wife, and can offer some sort of help if she wants it. Poor woman.

Our one night wonder was just that. Last night was dreadful. Will I ever have a decent sleep again for more than one night in a row?!

Ooh thanks LWL . Just what I need at this time of the morning as DS won't sleep. Argh!

Another shite night. Thought DS was feeling better yesterday, he seemed more himself. We took him to our GP for a second opinion (we took him to a walk in centre on Sunday). Apparently he's getting over a nasty virus that causes colds, coughs and conjunctivitis. No more fever though, and no swelling, ear trouble, or anything. But he was up every hour or less last night, coughing his head off and blocked nose, and this morning he was up at 5.30am. When we brought him downstairs we saw that his nose and top lip was absolutely covered in dried snot, and his eyes were almost glued shut with the amount of gunk in them :( Poor little guy.

I think DH might be annoyed with me. I'm usually fairly okay with the night wakings and don't huff and puff too much, but last night I just felt shattered, and I resented every single wake-up. It was like my body and mind were so tired that I just didn't want to deal with it any more, and DH did get up to settle him and rock him back to sleep more than me last night. I feel really shit about it, but it was almost like it wasn't me, if that makes sense? I never prioritise my sleep ahead of DH's as he does so much during the night, but last night I just couldn't help it. Even went to bed just before 9pm to try and get some sleep but DS woke up pretty much straight away. Sigh. DH is now hopefully napping while DS naps to get a bit more sleep. Don't think he'll be going to nursery today.

Sometimes I feel like I have to apologise for not being as perfect at this as he is. I wish I could be more like him. I feel guilty that I'm not.

Bloody awful weather here, rain rain rain. Matches my mood. Got a sore on my boob where DS's new top tooth is rubbing as well, which is agony. When is all this meant to get easier again?

Bella Welcome :)
Queen What lovely links!
Button It's a very bad situation :( Really disappointed with DH's friend.
Joyful Sorry you're having it rough at the moment as well. Enjoy your coat shopping!
Titania Feel your pain, lady!
LWL Ta for the biscuits!
Truth Hope OFSTED goes okay!
Spanner I hope you've managed to get help with the feeding issue.

Sigh. Better go get showered and ready for work :(

tickle I too am a bundle of resentment

DS slept well until 2.30 but then refused to settle until 4.30. I can't understand why he still needs milk at night (being ff, so less of a comfort thing) so I tried to give him water but it didn't help I don't think. It's the first time I've ever got annoyed with him at night. Even when I'm wishing he was asleep, I normsally stay calm etc and don't resent it too much as he's only a baby, but last night I kept thinking 'he's 9m for goodness sake, at this age the others were doing 12 hours straight'. Have always tried to avoid comparing as that way madness lies but last night I couldn't help it.

I'm also putting him on a wheat free diet as of today. He seemed ok with pasta and rich tea biscuits and the like but since I started giving him toast of a morning he's had explosive wind and poo. Just what we need. Another thing he can't eat...

Got a full day today too so I can't even catch up anywhere.

Morning gang, hope everyone is surviving. We've had a pathetically small breakthrough, in that DS now sometimes lets DH settle him back to sleep in the evening. So feels a bit less like I'm on permanent, 24 hour duty. DH got a bit hacked off with it last night after DS interrupted his dinner twice by waking. He got all huffy about having to resettle him. I pointed out that this had been my life for 10 months, which didn't go down well - got the response "yes and you moaned about it loads too". Fair point, I guess...

Now trying to wrestle DS down for a nap. He is crawling about everywhere and I'm laying on the bed MNetting and listening to the Mayo and Kermode podcast. For some reason I like listening to them chat about films I will now never see.

DS grizzled all the way to school and back giving me dirty looks as if to say 'how dare you - I'm tired, dontcha know?' and then grinned broadly when I popped him into the cot and was asleep within 30 seconds.

Toerag. I'm knackered and he's the one giving ME dirty looks!