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Original poster

please please help me

146 replies

popsycalindisguise · 31/01/2006 13:37

here

I have an ongoing thread in breast and bottle feeding topic.

To summarise:
ds2 is 11 months. breastfed
never slept
wakes at least 3 times a night. usually more

tried everything possible that i can think of/have read
including:
elizabeth pantley
tracy hogg
shortening night feeds by a minute a night....cant get down past 5 minutes
classical music (yes i am desperate)
more blankets
less blankets
selective ignoring
shushing and patting
co-sleeping

you get the jist
not done CC as I really dont feel emotionally able
it is making me ill - off work sick with this as a contributing factor
help

OP posts:
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rummum · 01/02/2006 15:54

Hi popsycalindisguise... I how did it go...
I hear you found him in your bed at 3.30...

was DS1 in his own room when he slept though at 4 - 5 months??

freshstart · 01/02/2006 18:15

send vibes for popsy - ds2 has developed a big lump on his neck. she has taken him to docs to be checked and has been sent up to the hospital for it to be checked over.

popsy already under lot of pressure could do without hospital dash

hope your back soon and its nothing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

rummum · 01/02/2006 19:03

Hope everythings OK

Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 01/02/2006 20:05

CC is off
I have spent the last three hours scaring myself witless that ds2 has cancer of thenext
gp agreed it was odd so sent us to hospital
after an hour and a half of faffing they said yes it is big but is probably the start of a bad ear infection and only a tiny miniscule chance at all of it being anything dreadful
going back next week for a check up

ds2 can wake as much as he likes in the night

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 01/02/2006 20:06

they did give me a big pat on the back for breast feeding though

OP posts:
busywizzy · 01/02/2006 20:29

Popsy, so glad he is OK

BonyM · 01/02/2006 20:49

Glad he is ok popsy.

lua · 01/02/2006 20:54

Hi Popsy!
Just saw this thread...
Just wanted to send my sympathies. I am very glad DS is Ok!

I have spent the last two weeks at home for the same reason as you.... It does seem that you are under an enormous amount of stress. Do remember to take of yourself too!!!
Happy mummy = hapy baby!!!

rummum · 01/02/2006 22:41

your right.. in the grand scheme of things waking up in the night is nothing...

Glad he's ok...

Look after yourself

busywizzy · 02/02/2006 10:18

Popsy, how is DS this morning and how are you ?

Aloha · 02/02/2006 10:27

Can you afford a sleep lady?
What mine did was say 'OK, from now on dd stays in her cot between 10.30 and 6am and no feeds' - and she stayed with her when she woke, lying on the floor, just patting her when she cried. Took hour and a half first night - yes, there was crying, but she was doing it not me (!) and dd was never alone. She fed well at 7am and was very happy and cheerful and absolutely loved the sleep lady! And she has improved so much. It's really incredible. And if it wasn't for the fact that ds woke at 5.30am I would be very happy indeed!

Aloha · 02/02/2006 10:28

Obviously wait until you get the all clear that the ear infection has cleared up before you try anything though!

KVG · 02/02/2006 21:02

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KVG · 02/02/2006 21:03

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Tipex · 03/02/2006 11:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aloha · 03/02/2006 11:14

well it isn't nice, exactly, and i did get a bit stressed and sweaty, but i knew the sleep lady was kind, was there with her and i also felt if i didn't let her do this it would be a waste of my time, her time and several hundred pounds! also yes, it wasn't pleasant to hear her cry, but i didn't have that 'omg, i have to get into bed NOW urge - I was drifting in and out of sleep and i wasn't getting angry and frustrated with dd either, which ime you do with a howling baby in the small hours and is the real killer. And of course she did stop crying and went to sleep! And was v happy in the morning.

Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 04/02/2006 10:27

right
i think i am ready to try this again......not controlled crying as such but something like aloha's sleep lady did....

we could not really afford the sleep lady right now - although if things dont improve i will be finding the moeny from somewhere!
he ended up in bed with me again last night from about 1:30 and was just dreadful (though he did have a horrible fall yesterday evening - lots of blood in his mouth and i thought he had lost a tooth....his gum is all cut )

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 04/02/2006 19:50

ok tonight is the night i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in i must not cave in

OP posts:
KVG · 04/02/2006 20:14

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sunshinebaby · 04/02/2006 21:18

I wish you all the best. We had to share our baby's room too but 2 months ago we gave up and while looking for a 2 bed/flat, we have been sleeping in the sitting room... I breastfed our baby at 18.30pm(then put her in bed) and she usually screamed for more food around 21h30(she did it for 3 weeks) but always gave her an other dream feed at 22h30pm. Then when she was waking up during the night, we ignored her (we left her cry for 20mns maxi.), I used to put earplugs on so then I would hear her only if she was distressed(but realised that actually she wasn't distressed or hungry, only was used to be hold when she was crying...) after one week, she stopped waking up at night... She now still has milk at 18h30, dreamfeed at 22h30 and then wakes up very hungry between 06h45 & 07h30. So try to ignore your little one tonight for at least 20mns and he might go back to sleep without the need of being fed. And by the way, we are still sleeping in the sitting room, our baby has our bedroom but who cares, we are getting our sleep!

BibBabBob · 05/02/2006 09:28

Hi Popsy. Hope last night went well. I've been reading your posts regularly as a similar sufferer. We are starting to have some success with pick up put down method. We decided that I would feed at 11 and 3 only (didn't want to drop all in one go as felt too big a jump). after 3 nights and a few hysterical sessions (longest one 45 mins) we can see an improvement. I couldn't do CC either and although the hysteria is horrible at least I'm with him through it. It hasn't solved the problem yet but now when he wakes up we can usually get him back to sleep very quickly by patting him on the back. i intend to give it another week then try dropping the 11 feed.
don't want to count all my chickens just yet but if nothing else, having a clear strategy helps me get through the night (and not looking at the clock too much as that always gets me stressed.)

Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 05/02/2006 16:09

well then.........

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 05/02/2006 16:18

ok
so....bed at 7ish....woke briefly at 9 ish..pat and shush
good feed at 10:00 is then!!!!!!
he didnt come out of cot
woke at 12:00 til 12:20.....lots of crying but patted and shushed
woke again at 2:00 till 2:15 then woke AGAIn ten mins later but went off wuick
then i had a major bout of insomnia...

then he woke at 3:40 until 4:50 argh....shushed and patted etc

then he woke at 5:10 () I had 5 in miy mind as 'he will not get out of the cot and feed until then
so I fed him then and he went back to sleep til 6:50 - would have slept longer if I could have kept ds1 quiet

so I got no sleep....but he got the idea!

Tonight the deadline is 5:30

OP posts:
Original poster
popsycalindisguise · 05/02/2006 18:43

he's in bed...
same plan as last night but aiming for 5:30am this time....

OP posts:
nutcracker · 05/02/2006 18:44

Keep at it Popsy, it will all be worth it in the end