Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

Hi ImNotAnsweringIt.

I'd be happy to join you

My ds2 is a very poor sleeper. We co sleep, which makes it almost bearable as at least I can stay cosy.

Good coffee is a help in the morning. Also, a nap or lie in at the weekend helps, if your partner/dh/passing stranger can help out with childcare.

Getting out in the fresh air helps me too, as does choosing who I talk about with it to. Soomeone who hasn't been through it won't undersatnad. I was a smug bastard with ds1 who was a good sleeper. Not smug now!

One day lasted about 6 years to me when i was getting no sleep so i wrote down a plan for the day and ticked them off as i went along.
Even just small things like
8am wash up
8.30 hoover living room
9am coffee...2 t spoons in cup!!
10am washer on
10.10 ds sleep in cot
11am ds up, in pram, out for a walk..make ds walk to tire out for tonight
etc etc,
it broke the day up for me.

Also every day, without fail, wind or shine, i would get ds out for a walk, even just around the block, he was able to run off some energy, and it killed up to an hour.

We went to the library, to visit friends, to soft play anything to get out for a few hours.

Have "lazy days" where you slob about in the house in tracky bottoms and sweater, i used to put water in the bath and a load of toys and chuck ds in to play for an hour..he loved it and it killed an hour!

When ds went to bed at 7pm, by 7.15pm,i too would be in bed, not every night but at least two nights a week.

If people offer to take your precious one off your hands for a few hours or even just an hour..snatch their hands off..then lie on the sofa for an hour, close your eyes and sleeeeeep.

HTH x

[yawns] hello [waves]

Zzzz zzzz

I'm with you. I just can't seem to get it together.

Oh dear poppy, hello!

Good ideas, definitely nap/lie in. Even 20 minutes can make me feel normal again. I too was a smug bastard with ds1 and regret it now! A friend has just had first child and is horribly smug about amount she sleeps. I have twice excused myself from seeing her as can't bear it, will fall out with her!

Like idea of making a list too. I have dogs so they get us out daily which always helps.

Anyone able to afford a cleaner? I would like to as feel overwhelmed with house being a state.

Please may I join?! I thought I had it bad with DS who woke up every 45 mins until he was 7 months but DD is still at it at 11 months, sigh.

I drink a lot of coffee. DH makes me one before i even get up (he knows I will actually weep if i try and do anything without caffeine). And when I'm too tired to make it I invite myself to a friend's house with similar age children, lie on their sofa, drink their coffee and eat cake (have very sweet neighbours and friends thank god!)

Hi can I join in - sleep deprived with a 7.5mo! Mornings are best for my DD, she'll happily play in the playpen unsupervised so I get the most done between 7 and 8am. I make packed lunch for DH and do an extra one for me, so I don't have to find time at lunchtime. I make two cups of tea or coffee at a time and keep one hot with a saucer on top or zap it in the microwave later. I give DD her bath in the morning and get in with her, saves me having to rush about showering during her nap and frees that time up for other things.

I take DD to gymboree 2 or 3 days a week now she's crawling so I don't have to chase her around the living room saying "no". Soft play is a blessing - at least I can collapse in one place and know she won't hurt herself! Also it normally exhausts her so I can grab a cheeky starbucks or do some shopping on the way home while she naps in the pram.

I also try to avoid speaking to those that are smug with perfect sleeping babies, I'm definitely past the newborn pity stage and into the "what are you doing wrong" stage.

Hello everyone.
Emsmaman I bloody hate that "what are you doing wrong" comment, I am currently being asked that on a daily basis or the other is "it's because your breast feeding" (despite the fact that DD eats more than I do) because DD (nearly 11 months) is such an inconsistent sleeper. She has in the past slept through the night but this is very rare and is usually followed with hourly waking the next night. She currently has a cold and has her 2 back teeth coming through so I havent actually being to bed for 2 nights (that is not an exaggeration, I really havent) as the only way she would stop screaming was if I walked round with her in my arms. I have no advice, as I actually wonder how on earth we manage, I go back to work in 3 weeks so that may be interesting!!!! Hope you all have a better night tonight x

Oh that sounds awful mrs dobalina.

I know what you mean re. Being at stage where you are no longer expected to be tired all the time. I was advised today that a sign ds2 was ready for solids was when he started waking in the night.

Is anyone who wanted more dc put off by the dreadful current sleep situation?

yepI'm put off wanting more dc, I'm sure we still will but I think at least three years gap is needed. I can't imagine being pregnancy tired on top of this. Last week DH was away with work and DD was sick, I remember thinking about 3am "I can never do this again"

Ah! I must join. DD1 is 2.8 and has only slept through a couple of times. DD2 has now joined the conspiracy to deprive us of sleep and times her night-wakings around DD1.
Last night was a good night with wake ups at 22.30 DD2, 01.30 DD1, 02.30 DD2, 04.30 DD2, 05.30 DD1 (when she came into our bed and disturbed everyone). I feel decidedly human today!
No survival tips other than co sleeping! Just a way of life now!

I have 3 years between mine. It works well as ds1 is at pre school 15 hours a week and (generally) sleeps ok. He is also independent enough not to need me to run around after him if I am exhausted!

I think we forget how hard it is. I have always wanted 3 and every night I urge myself to write a stern letter to my future self, urging myself not to and reminding myself how it feels! Trouble is, though you can't believe it now, the memories of this dreadful time will fade.

I had such a bad night last night. Feeling dizzy and sick today, and very resentful of snory dh...

Welcome minicorrect, that sound tough! Mine seem to have stopped this for now, thank god. How are you feeling?

Morning all. Sorry others are feeling my pain, but it is good to have the company.

We had a hellish night last night as ds2 has the cold and basically spent the night gurning and clambering around the bed. I got 1hrs sleep and am totally f-ed! Hoping for a nap later. I'm having a not-functioning day.

Oh shavings feel a bit of a fraud as it's not the kids that are keeping me awake. Just insomniac. Can I join in, though, as somebody who is suffering through lack of sleep?

Getting out in fresh air helps.
Drinking lots and lots of water.
If possible, do things slowly.
Making a to-do list.

If you can-as lack of sleep makes us all tetchy and it is so, so bloody difficult to bear this in mind, I know but: try to remember millions worse off for whatever reasons.

Wamster, as a fellow insomniac, I sympathise. Had the chance to sleep between 4 and 7 this morning, (a lie in!) and laid awake fuming instead. Then ds1 woke so pleased that his gro clock was telling him it was ok to get up and could he have a sticker etc. Had to act thrilled through the dizzy haze of inside my head.

Insomnia is as bad in a different way. You are very welcome here!

Can I join? DS is 18 weeks tomorrow and we're currently in 4 month sleep regression hell. I could cope when he would feed back to sleep but now he wants to talk and play between 2 and 5am. I'm cosleeping with him in the spare room, but now DP is complaining that he's not sleeping well because he's lonely by himself... he's still getting 8hrs+ a night so I'm not feeling very sympathetic towards him!

Ta. I guess for whatever reason a person gets no rest, the results are the same. It's all so stressful and horrible.

Rubbish, got him to bed at 10 now up again at 12,30. Seems to be teething pain but sat feeding anyway as that is what I do to ensure quickest route back to sleep-land. Rod for own back, anyone?

Another thing which keeps me going in the night is my iPhone, so I can look up interesting things MN. I know I am very lucky and it was an extravagance but really felt I needed something to help make things less grim when I felt like the only person awake in the world.

hello.another insomniac looking for company.can i join in?

Hi, of course. You poor thing. I am just off to bed to lie awake so good luck to you. Screen time is bad for sleep but too tempting isn't it? Hope you get some rest and are not still here on my next visit tonight!

thanks!if its any consilation none my kids slept through til 8mnths plus.all woke ev 2hrs in nite for feeds.i was a zombie..ev hallucinated was that tired[saw dwarfs waving and running round tesco and fush swimming up thev curtains].didnt stop me having more kids.once you get half decent sleep you forget[like childbirth]how hard it can be.making lists.fresh air and lots chocolate got me through it.ironic bloody kids sleep now and i cant!

Dd2 has cried solidly for past two hours- as is normal most nights :( she is 13mths and I have no idea how to make this stop :( sleep deprivation is awful.

thats why they use it as torture tactic.my biggest fear when one was homling was theyd wake others and had,on a number of occasions,bloody duet/trio howlers at silly oclock.neighbours mustve hated me

whats homling.ment howling!

[sad at the crying babies. It is horrid. Poor thngs and Mummies too.

Welcome insomniacs!

We had a slightly less bad night, but poor ds has a really heavy cold and a temperature, so we are laying low again.