Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

ImNotAnsweringIt - we've only been back 4 days, but I think the sleep deprivation over the past few weeks is taking its toll and we've been haphazardly trying everything, anything... The fact that he loves to sit up and does so in his crib, bashing his head against the bars, makes everything that much worse (but I guess is par for the course with developmental stages and thus sleep regression...)
Have come up with a more gentle plan for night-time sleep (including co-sleeping from a certain point of the night, in his room preferably), but naps are going to have to be CIO as I need to have some time for me in the day to maintain sanity - and shove some form of food in my mouth. Unfortunately I find it too frustrating to go in to him every 5, 10, 15 mins for naps as opposed to night sleep and think letting him cry at naptime is better for both of us (for the moment).
Trying to stick to these plans will be hard as not only are we all obviously knackered, but tomorrow we're going to DP's family for Thanksgiving (wish we could just not bother with trips until we go down to the US for Christmas).
Am driving myself insane worrying about what to do, what not to do, future habits may be creating, whether he (and we) will ever sleep again. And yes, it is hard because we know he used to sleep really well! However, at least we have had some sleep in the last 8 months...

Scottygirl had very similar experience with DS (cannot remember how old he was now), he'd thrash around and not really nurse so much as bash his head into my breast. It did get better, and I continued to EBF until 5.5 months. Hang in there, it will get better!

Tips for making it more bearable:
Keep telling yourself that this will pass, that at some point they (and you) will sleep better again, that you will survive.
Tell them you love them, because, bizarrely, despite the sleep regressions etc. you really really do.

Can I sneak in please? Am another nocturnal stresshead in need of (in)sane company!

MrsDobalina you will not know how your story of CC working fills me with some sort of hope! It is such a hard thing to do, and other than a few haphazard one-off attempts recently the last time we did it DS cried for no more than 10 mins before falling asleep. Longest I've let him cry in this recent sleep awfulness is 60 minutes, and it didn't do anything, but then as mentioned in my previous post we have not been consistent with any method really in recent weeks.

Does your DD also refuse to find her thumb (or however she self-soothed before)? This is the biggest mystery to us - DS finding thumb was the eureka moment for all three of us, probably the neighbourhood! He'd suck his thumb whenever he needed soothing, but some time in the last 4 weeks he has stopped. Thumb is NEVER there! How could he have forgotten the pleasures of thumb???!!!

Hope your DD starts settling back into her old routine and better sleep habits soon. I am thinking of setting up some kind of makeshift bed in DS's room so that when I do decide to lay down with him he is at least in there... have you tried anything similar?

My (shameful) top tip if you have older children has to be C beebies! Was up every few hours with baby, then toddler was up at 5.45. Have literally been counting down the minutes to 7, we are now watching postman pat with coffee (me) milk(toddler) and a plate of toast. Suddenly it's all a bit more bearable!

Last night was especially hard as we had friends over for DHs birthday, but baby was restless from 8.45 so I was up and down all evening and didn't really get to catch up with people. Now everyone else is having a nice lie in whilst I've been up for ages! Normally would expect DH to be sharing the pain but it is his birthday so.... anyone?

ams may I present you with award for least enviable Sunday morning? Well done you, sounds urgh. I went back to bed at 7 and now sat with cuppa listening to the chaos downstairs!

Everyone is now up looking happily hungover, reminiscing about fun evening... I am feeling grumpy and jealous. Does anyone else find themselves feeling really unfairly resentful of those that get sleep? One thing that really bothers me is that I don't have enough energy to be fun with toddler... Then I watch him playing happily with others and feel so guilty for not having those levels of energy a lot of the time. He must think I'm so boring and grumpy :(

Hi guys,thanks for the support and advice. Going to speak to a breastfeeding support worker. LO not quite as frantic last night and got a full 4 hour stretch of sleep followed by 2 and a half hours! Amazing how much better that can make you feel.Decided that my only tips so far are too keep as busy as possible after a bad night to try to block out the tiredness.

Just wondered if anyone has any tips on how they moved their babiesfrom their bed,on them, into the crib?

Hope you are all doing ok. I bought some iron supplements as dh pointed out that I feel just like I do when anaemic, so hoping they will help.

With regards moving baby into own crib, I think you just have to try it but prepared to be flexible and try to build up gradually. You will find he will get used to it but try to help him form positive associations, so if he is unhappy don't push it. Remember the most important thing at the mo is you getting sleep!

I've also been considering iron supplements so am interested to hear if that helps general fatigue level. At in-laws, DS dealt with 7 hr car journey really well (had 3 good naps), we to bed fine but only for 4 hrs before whole circus began. Right now am trying first nap of the day - he's so tired but just will not sleep! Am hoping putting him in his crib for naps at same time each day will eventually help him figure out that that is nap time...
Have tries to get rid of expectations but keep thinking that one night or one nap time he'll surprise the hell out of me by sleeping like he used to.
Hope you're all getting some rest one way or another!

titihood I'm not even trying to get back into a routine yet - its gone downhill in fact as DD and I are currently sleeping on a large cushion thing on the lounge floor and DH is on the floor in the kids bedroom with DS. Coping with jet lag seems easier when we separate them so they don't keep waking each other and DD is crawling around so much in the middle of the night and I just can't trust myself to keep her from stopping falling out of our bed while co-sleeping! Sadly she never wanted to suck her thumb re self soothing. I think she just decided it was more fun having a hug..

Scotty nice one with the 4 hour stretch! Do you feel like you could climb a mountain today or something . Also watching for tips as will have to try and move DD back soon.

Imnotansweringit I hadn't thought of iron supplements, that's a really good idea. Do you use those spatone ones?

Yes, bought spa tone today, and berroca vitamins as they had been recommended to me. Spatone is the only iron supplement I can tolerate and works really quickly too.

scottygirl When DS was younger I'd feed him while sitting up in bed, then try to keep him at the same angle while moving him, so he wouldn't be tilted. Some days it worked, all seemed to depend how fast asleep he was. In the end we started putting him down while drowsy. Doesn't work now however! Hope your little one repeats the same great sleep for you all.

MrsDobalina We've set up a floor sleeping area in DS room here at his grandparents...so if (how hopeful I try to remain!) we have a repeat of the last awful month then I'll lie down with him there and get up once he's asleep instead of taking him into the bed. Are you lying down with your DD for her naps too?

Hope everyone had a good night. Am just back from a trip to the inlaws. They think we should see a doctor about DD's sleep?! Anyway thankfully DH was supportive and DD was not too noisy during her night wakings so PIL's don't realise quite how often she woke up during the nights we were there.

Sadly last night was not as good, DD woke every one and a half to two and half hours, its so depressing when you wake up and see how little time you've been asleep! I'm not sure whether I should push ahead with trying to get her to sleep off me now or wait until she sleeps better on me...

titihood - will try your putting down down at the same angle thing, though i tend to have to burp her after feeding so not sure how it'll work, willing to give anything a go though!

Scottygirl - I shouldn't give this advice as it's against the SIDS rules but DD was becoming really bad at wanting to sleep on me, then I realised that she wanted to be on her tummy, not necessarily on me. Once I started putting her in the cot on her stomach it was much better. I should point out that she was able to move her head quite well at that point and I agonised over whether I was being selfish and it was unsafe for her, but I decided a sleep deprived mummy is also unsafe during the daytime so I went for it. First night DD slept 9 hours. Hasn't happened since but I'm convinced she's just so much more comfy on her tummy.

Emsmaman - how old was your DD when you did that? Have considered it though she can also nap on her back if lying on our knees.

DD was around 4.5/5 mo when I started putting her to sleep on her stomach.

My ds also sleeps on hisfront for the same reason. Ds1 was happy on his back but ds2 wouldn't tolerate it at all. It is a really personal decision I am happy with it as he is very low risk in all other respects, and sleeping is so important developmentally.

Side sleeping may be an option you are more comfortable with?

Caffine, sugar, protein at breakfast. Fruit and yoghurt dont cut it.
Walk ds1 to school with baby in buggy even in the rain.
Mid morning snack. More caffine.
Yoga in the evening.
I delude myself I sleep less but sleep more deeply when I do.
Remembering regardless of how little sleep Ive had, what I went through to conceive, ds2 is a total miracle

Please can I join you? I am going slowly mad from sleep deprivation. It's snuck up in me-dc have been poorly and dd2 is teething. She has just gone to sleep after six hours of feeding, moaning and dozing. I feel insanely of anyone who is sleeping-even my depressed mother who has been prescribed big fat sleeping pills. I know-unreasonable in the extreme but I just want some sleep. Dh is understanding, even gets my irrational response to his snoring. Aargh! Dd has just dropped off-hopefully for a bit now.

Have gone mad. Am starting to hallucinate. Am tortured by the constant interruptions every time I start to fall asleep. Two children with colds. Husband is fast asleep beside me snoring away. Would it be wrong to push him off the bed and pretend he fell off?

Succubi both mine are ill too, older one with chest infection, younger one a cold that is making him sound like a baby warthog.. Last night DS2 woke up EVERY HOUR. I know exactly what you mean about sleep deprivation making you hallucinate. I can see wispy shadows at the corners of my vision which I am fairly sure aren't really there. I am starting to fantasise about sleep in the way I used to fantasise about boys when I was a teenager... You know, obsessively.

Dreadful night for me too last night. Ds2 teething and I ended up having him in bed with me. He didnt sleep there either but at least I was laying down resting. Totally get the hallucinating thing. I also have a constant headache.

A sunny day here so about to take dogs and children out for a walk which may help my head. I wish whoever is blowing on my eyeballs would stop.

Sucubi, I hope things got better?

seaside makes an excellent final point. A close relative of mine has been trying for a baby since before I had ds1 and I remind myself of that when I am losing the will to live.

I remember being on the postnatal ward and talking to a midwife who only had one eye. It was only the next day I realised she had both eyes, mine were just not functioning at the time and I couldn't see. Scary!

Hmm...just went to docs and struggled to answer the receptionist's question-"what is dd2's name?" only for a split second but...