4 month sleep regression- light at the end of the tunnel

[nearlymumofone]

I posted here a while back about the hell i was goig through with the 4 month sleep regression. And it really was hell. However I've been meaning to post here to let anyone going through it know there is light at the end of the tunnel. DS hit it at 16 weeks, and it lasted till 6 months, with the worst weeks being form 16-20 weeks. I was EBF at the time and I think this actually didn't help the sleep sitruation, at 5 months i introduced solids and a bottle, he was established on solids by 6 months and ff and slept through the night without waking. I can't tell whether the formula or solids helped, whether it was either or both, but his sleeping well coincided with him being well satisfied and full (he was very poor at bf and not gaining weight so it wasn't going well at hence i gave in at 5 months). We also introduced a blankie which was a godsend and put him in his own room. All of which seemed to positively contribute to him sleeping well. Maybe the regression would have passed without us doing these things, however they seemed to work well for us. Now DS is 9 months and unless he's ill/teething sleeps through the night (from 6.30-6.30 ish).

I just wanted to give hope to anyone going through it at the minute that it will get better.

It amuses me that muser is annoyed by 7am wake up - I'd be over the moon if I got 7am!

bet I have heard/read that earlier bedtimes can improve night sleep as overtiredness causes more wakings. But who knows, they're all different! Can you not try putting him to bed for the night at 6/6.30 rather than a nap?

Have been too tired to post. Yesterday was so distraught I shouted at DD, feel so horrible... Being fed up and exhausted is no excuse. She just wouldn't nap. Did 3x half hour in the entire day. The night was Ok though, woke twice for feeding 11.30 and 3.30 and once in between stuck on tummy but only (only??!) took half an hour to resettle. Then slept til 5.55. Since I was asleep by 9 that wasn't too bad. Today back to normal napping - 1.5 hours first thing in the morning then 3 x 30 minute naps as the day goes on. There's no way I can get those naps any longer at the moment, they're 30 mins regardless of whether they're on the bed or in the pushchair or sling. Guess we'll just have to wait out the emergence of the famous afternoon nap.

Someone (sorry just too far to scroll with iPod to find out who) was saying about liking the sound of co-napping but not being able to feed to sleep - well, that's what I do. I just shush/jiggle her to sleep while she's lying on the bed.

That said, I really do think this is sleep 'regression' as she is back several weeks regarding how easy she is to get to sleep. We are now back with flailing arms and legs and all and she won't any more just lie still and calmly drop of in my arms or on the bed with me stroking her. I had been hoping to try 'drowsy but awake' for bedtime very soon, but now I somewhat despair of when I will be able to. At least she does sometimes self- settle in the night. Famous last words no doubt but I must cling to something that is ok-ish!

Good luck for tonight everyone!

I'm not annoyed by a 7am wake up! Where did I say that? Last night was GOOD.

That's the one thing I'm very grateful for about this sleep regression. The 2 hourly wakings were awful. The being awake for 2 hours at 4am was awful. But at least she never woke up for good at 5am. She'd always eventually go back to sleep for a bit. Given she is a dreadful napper in the house the thought of having to be trudging the streets with her in the pram at 8am filled me with dread. Although I did once do it at 6am in my pjs because she would not stop crying and I couldn't think of anything else to do.

13th July cluster post #1 ;-)

I agree 5am would be a killer, DD is a 6am girl, which I can live with. She has done 5am a couple of times but I just ignore her and usually she's then desperate to go to sleep next to me when I go get her after 6.

What am I doing, should be sleeping not posting!!

Oh you got me. But that was in the context of me having had about 3 hours sleep total that night! Normally 7am wouldn't bother me. But that was the night of insomnia.

7.30pm-10.30pm. 11pm-3.50am. 4.30am-8.20am

Morning all.Fifi, yes technically I could put DS to bed earlier rather than a nap, but he wakes up after 45 mins as he still treats it as a nap. Also, I'd rather he slept later in the morning so tend for a later bedtime. But didn't want DS to be overtired like he was on Thursday so was going to try an earlier bedtime last night.
In the end it didn't work out like that but night was still much better. We took him for a stroll at 7pm in the sling, then for a bath and then a bf on a pillow on my lap. He'd already had a nap from 6-6.45pm so wasn't overtired. Bed was 9.45pm in the end, and he went into his cot drowsy and straight to sleep. So for that reason, bedtime routines get my vote!
BUT, he only lasted 45 mins and then was wide awake so came in with us again. after that it was definitely a better night. Wakings were every 1.5-2 hours roughly, and in bed until 7.50am. So crap by some people's standards but good by ours!

Muser brilliant night. High fives all round!

My first day as a member and would love some feedback on routine (or lack of) and sleeping for my 4 month DS. Am almost EBF but topping up with formula before bed. He has never slept thru the night - wakes up every couple of hours for food, so I stick him on the boob and fall asleep til next summons. (We're co-sleeping) Have I made a rod for my own back by allowing him to eat whenever he wants in the night? He is a grand little lad, happy and friendly, but last few nights I've felt resentful that he is waking me up so often at 4 months old - he can basically only fall asleep on the boob when he wakes. How do I get out of this? Dummy no good in night....... THANKS ladies

Hi Pollock, welcome to the very little sleep club! I don't have any solutions but I'm in the same boat as you, and I'm in a positive mood today and feeling quite zen about the whole thing so here goes:
I cosleep and feed DS through the night on demand simply because it's the easiest thing to do and gets me and DP the most kip. Babies change all the time and there's really very little you can do other than adapt and cope. Things that have helped me are feeding DS to sleep for his naps on our bed and napping with him, getting DP to take him for an hour in the mornings, and realising it's much rarer than you think for babies to sleep 12 hours.
To give you something positive, DS has had two much better nights this weekend, going to sleep easily and only waking every 2-ish hours. It's taken 6 weeks to see a positive change so I'm keeping my fingers crosed. Try not to get too stressed about rods for backs etc, if you're anything like me you'll be worrying about something else soon enough!

Welcome pollockcat.

I don't cosleep but I do feed my girl every time she wakes up. She seems to be coming out of this sleep regression all by herself, so I'd keep doing what you're doing unless you really can't take it anymore. I did move my girl into her own room as I felt I had to do something, but I'm still not sure it made much difference. So I'd just do whatever is best for you to get through this.

And if I was Queen for the Day I would ban the phrase "rod for your own/my own back". I loathe it. It always seems to be attributed to the nice bits of parenting, the cuddling and the feeding and the loving. Although it's exhausting, I rather enjoy the night feeds. Me and my sleepy baby, in the half light, cuddling up. And her little sleepy face when she comes off and I lay her down. It's one of my favourite moments. I really doubt that when she's grown up and leaving home I'll regret the time I spent doing that.

Muser I love your final thought there. So true. It's so easy to beat yourself up about doing things wrong. I go through phases of getting stressed about how things are going, and when I accept that they are how they are things magically seem better. I'm hoping your post there has just converted me out of a stressed phase (due to nightmare napping phenomenon) and reminded me that actually it's quite nice to cuddle her to sleep (though I must admit I was enjoying napping next to DD on the bed and very much enjoying the fact she wasn't crying for 20 mins before each nap).

If I were queen for the day, I would ban books on sleep. I have a million of them. None of them mention regression, or help you work out what to do if "awake but drowsy" really doesn't work for your LO.

Thanks for the advice about co-sleeping everyone. I have been doing it for over a week now and it has certainly helped me. She is still waking for feeds but wakes, feeds, goes back to sleep. Which is what she was doing anyway but this way I don't have to sit in a chair trying to stay awake. And she has been sleeping in a little bit later too (six instead of five, woo!). To be honest it has made me think that all she really wants is to be next to me and not sleep on her own in the cot, so maybe I just have to go with it for the time being? I still don't sleep brilliantly as I am sleeping very lightly but it doesn't feel quite as hellish. And what is the alternative? She wakes in the night and I either respond to her or I don't, there's not really another option right now. And obviously I choose to respond, not leave her to cry. Even if I was rich and could afford a night nurse I wouldn't do it- I 'm her mum and I want to take care of her. Muser (happy birthday by the way!) I thought your post was lovely, and so true- we aren't going to look back on these times and regret being there for our babies when they needed us. And yes, there is something very magical and special about being up in the wee hours with them (some nights it is easier than others to feel like that though!). Anyway, I'm rambling a bit, just trying to get my head around the whole sleeping thing though.
Glad to hear there have been some improvements for some, it gives us all hope!
It's napping that is our biggest issue at the moment- any idea what to do when your baby cries each time you try and get them to nap? And that's napping on me, not even me trying to put her into the cot. Full on howling, legs kicking, back arching total refusal to relax. I mean, what the hell...? She will drop off in the sling but only for half an hour and she really needs a decent stretch of sleep. But if she won't have it in the sling, car, pram, cot or on me, then what can I do? Any suggestions? I've not tried the dog basket yet...

I would definitely have co-slept if I could feed lying down. I just cannot do it.

Naps have always been a battle here. I would say sling and walk walk walk, but if she doesn't stay asleep for long then I'm not sure. Swimming always seems to make mine have a good nap, not practical to do every day though! Maybe just try to really tire her out with playtime?

Hmm, two bad nights in a row here, l

Oops, hit post by mistake somehow.

As I was saying, two bad nights in a row so looks like there's a bit more tunnel to go. I was kind of expecting last night to be bad as she was very clingy all day and cried every time we put her down. Hopefully a temporary setback rather than the good nights being temporary.

DorcasB don't worry about co-sleeping.
We are doing it every single night. Bad or not, we need to sleep and so does our baby so you do what you need to do sometimes.

I wouldn't worry. Sometimes we think Oh God, we are doing everything wrong. We put him in the cot, he wakes up, but we put him in our bed and everything is marvellous. Strange, isn't it? How old is your daughter?

There have been many times when I thought: I'm going to let you cry because I need to go to the loo but then it's like you. I think 'He needs me, i'm with him all day, so I'm here when you need me darling'.

Funny enough though, Friday wasn't a good day so my husband said I should sleep in the other room on Sat night. So, despite feeling i should let him sleep because he works all week, i agreed. He looked after the baby while i had a full night sleep. On Sunday morning, i went ot he room and he told me the baby only woke up twice so it wasn;t that bad. So, my question is...what if Jack wakes up every hour because he can feel i'm there so 'let's annoy mummy'! I can't think of anything else.

Anyway, co-sleeping, despite midwives say NOOOOOOOOO, you know what...i do it and the three of us can sleep. If he gets too annoying at around 1am, we simply put him in our bed and that is it.

Enjoy your little ones!!!!

Hi everyone, I think we all agree with the co-sleeping thing, which is nice. Why fight it? What did people do back in the mists of time before cots were invented? Slept with their babies, I'm guessing! And like many of you have found it does make the hard times a little easier. I know it has for us.
I wish I had advice on naps, but this is the one thing DS has been ok at. If its any consolation on the days when DS has or hasn't napped well it didn't seem to affect his sleep anyway.
We've had 3 better nights here. Last night was 8.45-11.45, then 5 min feed, then 1.15am for proper feed, then 3.30, 5.10, and 7am. When I write it down it doesn't look that great but believe me it's not too bad at all for DS! We're just into week 21 now so maybe I'll keep seeing improvements now. Who knows, but I bet I've jinxed it now!

Hi all. May I join your thread? DD is 16 wo today. She never slept well, has never done more than 5 hours sleep in a row (& that was only once, when 8 weeks and I wasn't asleep for all of it!) - however we used to get 3-4 hourly gaps between feeds at night which I was coping with. I was hoping that as she got older the gaps would eventually get longer. Over the last few weeks we have had 2 hourly feeds again.

That is bad enough but she has developed a habit of pooing in the middle of the night. (Too much milk that she doesn't need?) Short feed, poo and then she is awake to play for 2 hours. This is the most draining part. I try to get her back to sleep, rock her, offer a feed but she doesn't want to go back down.

Last night she was asleep at 7. Woke at 9.30, 12, 2, then awake til 4 & then awake at 6 with 7.30 being the start to the bed. The half 7 was the best thing about the night.

We are lucky that we get evenings. Sometimes DD is ready for bed at 6. However so am I! I never go to bed later than 9.30 although that can mean I sleep from 10pm as i'm feeding her.

I've tried

• working on naps. She is a 45 minute napper most of the time and often fights them. Seems to make no difference. Last few mornings i've taken her to bed so I can nap too

-co sleeping. We just do it when I can cope no more as I really prefer my own space in bed and my back is starting to ache from months of poor sleeping positions. I have the side off the cot anyway so she isn't that far away anyway.

• dummy. Helps her settle to sleep for naps but will not do in the middle of the night.

-bottle for the 9.30pm feed. She refused it and cried. I don't want to try again as I can't face the resettling time.

I feed to sleep at night and at every feed. I refuse to wake her just to see if she will self settle. I rock to sleep for naps. No way would she self settle for these.

The bf group I go to suggested I could sleep train at 6 mo. No idea what this will entail. I'm hoping I can just ride it out and that in time she will become a good sleeper as I don't want to leave her to cry and you need energy to try to cut out night feeds.

In the meantime I offer the group s and s to help us through these sleepless days.

Welcome haloflo. Hopefully the 2 hourly wakings will be short-lived. That might just be the growth spurt and once it's done she'll go back to 3 hourly. Then hopefully things will improve from there.

I have now had 3 bad nights in a row. I'm beginning to think the 2 good nights were a fluke. She woke at 4am today and didn't want to go back to sleep. Fed her, she slept for half an hour, then awake and cooing away. This is where being in her own room came into its own. I turned the sound on the monitor down and went back to sleep. She must have fallen asleep at some point as next thing it was 8am.

Welcome Haloflo, you seem to have tried all the things I did, and nothing seemed to make any difference except time. We had 45 min-1 hr wakings for a few days which was awful, but we're now into week 7 (DS is 21 weeks) and touch wood things do seem to be improving. We've had 4 better nights now (by better I mean bed at 9pm, wake at 12, 2, 4.30, 6.30, 7.30.)
We nap together on my bed for his morning nap which really helps too.
Muser, poor you. I think we did have a couple of bad nights after I thought DS was getting better, and then we had about another week before he really did get consistently better. Think you may have to go back a bit to go forward IYSWIM.
Hope everyone else is getting some good nights?

bet01 We napped together this morning too. On and off for 2 hours. I still feel awful though - its nearly 2 and I havent woken up properly yet! I'm going to carry on with that each day I think unless we have to go out. Glad things seem to be getting better for you. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

muser DD has occasionally done that too - gone back to sleep. Its amazing! DP says I should just go back to sleep when she happy but awake. Not possible for me i'm afraid - I hear every snuffle. I'm not ready for her to go into her own room yet but I bet that is better for not jumping at every squeak.

dorcas Will your DD take a dummy? That stops the crying when i'm rocking DD to sleep and gives her something else to focus on. It is a lifesaver for me.

Last night was The Worst Ever - I lost track of how many times she woke up, but it was my fault for taking her to see Harry Potter I reckon. Naps back to her norm today, though the first was only 45 mins rather than the usual hour and a half and then another three of 30-45 mins each. She went to bed easily tonight though did wake after an hour but I got her back to sleep in 2 mins (though she rolled over and had to do same again 10 mins later).

Wonder Weeks said a stormy week for week 16-17 so maybe things will be gradually on the mend now... Fingers crossed because it's been a rough fortnight. That said it won't improve dramatically until she can roll back onto her back. Who knows when that will be, she's not making much progress :(

Sorry to hear it was such a rough night fifi, hope last night was better. I am a bit jealous of that 1.5 hour nap though. Naps only happen out of the house here and are usually between 30 mins to an hour.

Last night was better here. Started off pretty standard but after the 3am wake she slept through until 7.40am. I have hope again.

She is currently laying on a cushion looking half asleep but failing to fall asleep fully. I guess it's time to get the pram out.

Middle of the night phone posting. Bedtime here was 7.15. Woke at 8.15 had a quick feed and straight back to sleep. Then at 3.15 I woke up with something I've not had for a long, long time. Sore, rock hard boobs! She woke up not long after. Think she's asleep again now. Not entirely sure though.

And of course I sat up until 11.30 waiting for her to wake up as she normally does. Sods law that. But what sleeping! I am so happy.