Sleep Nightmares Part III: At 3am No-One Can Hear You Scream

[CountBapula]

I've been moaning about documenting my 8 mo DS's 'challenging' sleep patterns on MN since he was three weeks old. He's still waking every 2-3 hours at least and the other thread's full, so here's a shiny new one for all you parents of hardcore sleep refusenik babies.

Who's with me?

Snarfle fingers crossed - the 4-month regression is a killer!

Comrade hope DD is OK - must be really worrying for you :(

We waited until 6 months to wean DS with a combo of finger foods and fork-mashed stuff. Didn't bother with puree. He's taken to solids really enthusiastically, though refuses to eat 'baby food' out of a jar/pouch which is fine because I love cooking for him but it's a bit of a PITA when out. Took him to baby clinic today for his first weigh-in since we started weaning - I normally avoid it because the HVs spout such shit about sleep etc, but was curious to see how much he's put on with the solids. Well, he's put on more than two kilos and jumped two centiles the little piglet . Of course the HV was all, "Oh, that's what he must have wanted all along, no wonder he's sleeping better"

Glad ur ds likes his food Count I hope mine enjoys his as much when I start weaning him.

Comrade my friend's baby had this and was found to be a dairy intolerence. Not sure if that's something you have considered? Weaning also making no difference to sleep here. We started at 6 mo and if anything it got worse!

Yes, DS's sleep got slightly worse when we started weaning. He kept farting himself awake

That's funny Count ds has done that a few times already and it always makes me laugh!
I have heard the 4 month sleep regression can last from a few days to a few months. I am almost not wanting to ask this question but my morbid curiosity has won over so here goes: How long did it last for you? I know that we all have poor sleepers on this post but how long did the regression make things that little bit worse for? [frightened of reponses telling me months]

Am new to MN but sleep deprivation has led me here and can't tell you how happy I am to find this thread! My DD started waking up every 45mins at 4 months after being pretty good sleeper. She's not been great since and still wakes up on avg 4 times a night and is going to be 1 in a couple of weeks.... She sits herself up in her sleep and freaks herself out - amongst various other things. Not had the farting yet (though DH does regularly). Have had 3 very bad nights in a row - and today I paid congestion charge for yesterday - then after I'd paid I remembered I didn't even go out in the car - I am worried my brain has disintergrated and now beyond repair!

mustlearn you poor thing. Hello and welcome.

Snarfle look away now if you are of a sensitive disposition

DS started the four-month regression at 15 weeks when he suddenly woke every hour one night after previously doing four-hour stretches (though had always been a nightmare to settle). He woke every 1-3 hours, sometimes more frequently, and was generally a total sleep nightmare until, er, about two weeks ago. He's 38 weeks tomorrow

Sorry ...

Snarfle I don't think I even noticed the 4 month regression. dts' sleep was not too bad as newborns (up to 3-4 hours) then gradually got worse, till around 6mo it was every 1-2 hours. now at 8 months we're on max 2.5 hours, often less. there was no sudden drop, it's just been downhill all the way (although their ability to nap has improved lately, which I'm hoping heralds a positive nighttime change). sometimes if you've got a really bad sleeper, there's no room to regress, iyswim? :)

mustlearn ds1 was a 40 minute waker till about 8/9 months, then went to waking 2-3 times a night. it's truly awful, that extended sleep deprivation. if it offers you any hope he has been sleeping through, bar illnesses, since about 18 months.

Ah Count I had a horrible feeling that was going to be your reply. Thanks for your honestly and I can only hope that all babies handle this differently and mine will come out of it in a few days [hopeful, naive, on hands and knees praying emoticon]!!

I know what you mean mama - if it's that bad then there is nowhere to regress.

Well we've managed to get over 5 hour napping in today and a lot of telly and quite a good film and he was wide awake when we took him to bed!! I've lay with him and shush patted and then he is asleep now...let's see what tonight brings.....

Wishing you all a good nights sleep.

Thank you Mama & Count , it really does give me hope being reminded it won't be like this forever. Also very good to have somewhere to come and have a moan share experiences.. keeping fingers crossed for good night for all!

Hi mustlearn and welcome to the thread

Snarfle - our 4 month regression hit at 14 weeks, before that he only woke twice in te night for feeds. After ten weeks of more or less hourly waking we are only now slowly slowly coming out of it, after a LOT of hard work, full night weaning, relearning everything we were doing before, and a lot of DH and I splitting nights on the sofa! Even now he is, by anyone else's standards, a shite sleeper but I can see small improvements. For eg tonight he has been asleep 2.5 hours without waking and twice he's called out, but by the time I've got upstairs he's been asleep again .

Bet I've jinxed it now

Anyway, my point is, we've had a rough time but I'm still here joking about it and DH and I are ok. You just have to surrender to it, I think, and do literally everything you can to grab every minute of sleep availableto you. But yours will be much quicker than mine I promise!

Thanks Bigkids I hope you're right!!

Yes Mustlearn welcome to the thread Hope you have a better night tonight.

We're having a crap night. DS has just woken up for the 6th time tonight. Guess we're trying not to co-sleep but feels worse than usual and we're on the rock your baby to sleep while sucking your finger step. I thought this one would be a breeze! Bit worried my heart's not in it.
Hope your nights get better snarfle and you don't get the 4 month sleep regression - I remember joking with a friend a week before it hit that I wouldn't notice DS things were so bad anyway. I think things were really bad for us for a couple of months and got easier when I started co-sleeping. Still waiting for longer than 3 hour stretches (except when he's ill).

Sorry to hear that Judy. We practised for movig DS to his own room last night - we're considering doing it at the weekend. He slept from 6.30-6 and we only had to go in to our room three times, all between 12-1!!!! All other times he woke he self settled if we waited 30secs or so. I can't believe it!

Got distracted! We slept in the spare room with the monitor on low-ish.

Wow Bigkids that's amazing!! Hope it's turned a corner and is thew way forward for you now.
Sorry to hear that Judys - how did the rest of the night go?
Well I'm not sure that 5 hours of napping made that much difference tbh. However when we woke a quick dummy made him go back to sleep whereas recently he was taking a while to get back off. Am taking him swimming today so he'll only get about 3 hours naps so we'll wait for tonight and see what that brings.
The 3 sided cot really helps as it means we can kind of cosleep when he is twisty without having to wake fully. We were going to try anput the other side on it mext wkend but we'll see how he is next week first.

:( back to the dr again today with another bloody nappy. Thank you for all your sympathy.

Mama Dr & I did consider that it was a diary intollerance particularly as I had it as a baby and really still do to a degree it makes me fart

snarfle Ours started at 14 weeks and went on for 3 - 4 weeks for sure but those weeks knocked everything about so badly that we, like bigkids, have had to relearn everything.

Mustlearn welcome to MN and the thread. Hope it gets better for you soon.

Judy Sorry you've had such a bad night :(

Well the good news here is that DD is down for her 2nd nap of the day. A friend of mine had shocking sleep nightmares with her DD and the sleep school she went to taught her a routine that she showed me. In a nutshell you put them on their side, hold them still by holding their shoulder (DD flings her arm about so I hold arm/shoulder) and then rather firmly pat their hip/thigh/bum area and say Shhh very loudly.

BUM.

She's just woken up :( Well it was working so far.

Comrade sorry to hear you've had another bloody nappy Hope the doc can help.

comrade - sorry about your dd. Hope they work out what it is.
Congratulations bigkids and count on your good nights - long may they continue!
After my last post I had an argument with DH about the plan, fed DS for ages and he still wouldn't sleep, had a big cry and family hug in the hall, then took DS back to bed with me at 3am. Combined with him waking hourly before that it feels like we've gone back 3 months.
I was expecting DS to be harder to settle but not that he would wake more frequently. I just feel rocking him to sleep and letting him stay in our arms for ten minutes is a bad move since we've been getting him to sleep in the cot for ages. DH thinks it's just a couple of step and we'll stop foing it in 6 days but surely that's going to make it harder as we're getting rid of two things not one. Guess the idea is we can still cuddle in the cot so he is getting that comfort as we reduce the sucking.
Not sure if this makes sense without seeing the plan but it's helping me make sense of it. Had a bit of a shit day as my dad is back in hospital and DS was crying loads as he was tired and is going through separation anxiety. Also feel I'm being unfair to DH by not agreeing to cc - me deviating from the plan stresses him out and he's been really tired at work - but I just can't do it.
Sorry, think some of you ate going through a lot more than me.

Just wanted to add that DS still managed to be very cute throughout. When I had my cry in the hall he thought I was laughing so joined in which cheered me up quite quickly. Then we both lay down on the bed and he fell asleep babbling to himself holding onto my nightie with pretty much no interaction from me except me being there. He did still wake every hour but the first time settled in less than a minute and the second I pretended to be asleep and he went back to sleep himself.

Comrade sorry to hear that - hope you're OK.

Judy your experience sounds just like mine when we were doing Andrea's plan. I kept deviating from it and DH got really stressed out by it. It's so hard to have faith in it when it's the middle of the night and your baby is crying. Are you able to email/call your Millpind consultant for reassurance? Really feel for you. Hope your dad is OK too. I found DS cried in the day more when we were doing gradual withdrawal, though I always put it down to tiredness because it often made him sleep worse, not better!

We had a similar night to the last two - 8pm until 2:30 am when I settled DS v easily with a bit of a pat, then a feed at 4:30, then up at 6:15. DH told me that I coughed really loudly in my sleep at 2:30 so I must have woken DS up. So not counting that waking, it's the third night in a row he's done a long stretch from bedtime . I think he's still genuinely hungry at 4am so I just feed him straight away. Seeing as he dropped his other feeds on his own, I figure he'll drop this one in his own time too.

Judys I don't think you're being unfair not agreeing to cc - you have to do what you feel comfortable with and try all options before you do sopmething you really don't want to. It's amazing how our dc's can cheer us up with a little smile . I hope the plan starts working for you. Hope ur dad's ok too.

Judy that's so cute! DS never settled like that when we co-slept. I always had to rock or feed him back to sleep, so it was all a bit pointless really. You should take some solace from the fact that your lovely DS is obviously very reassured and comforted by your presence :)

Oh Judy you poor thing. I know that crying in the night so well. It's so hard to stick to the plan when knackered isn't it. Can you split the night with your DH? I do 7-12 and DH 12-5 because he's better at sticking to the plan in the early morning!

morning all, have been distant, I'm sorry. trying to give myself a break from thinking about how little sleep I'm getting all the time. So just catching up and lots to respond to but just had to comment on health visitor crap advice - this was mine:

me: since starting solids DD has wanted less milk, how often do I need to offer her breast/bottle?

hv: oh, she'll be too full for milk. give her some fish or chicken. that'll see her through the night.