Sleep Nightmares Part III: At 3am No-One Can Hear You Scream

[CountBapula]

I've been moaning about documenting my 8 mo DS's 'challenging' sleep patterns on MN since he was three weeks old. He's still waking every 2-3 hours at least and the other thread's full, so here's a shiny new one for all you parents of hardcore sleep refusenik babies.

Who's with me?

Congratulations Cos. Please don't say it's nothing you've done as you are my inspiration for night weaning. Last night I thought we hadn't done as well as I fed DS at 3.30am when he wouldn't settle - I thought this was 3.5 hours after his last feed at the time. This morning I realised that was actually his first feed of the night - probably the longest he's gone without a feed though it was the 5th time he'd woken. Hopefully we'll get there sometime. Hope it gets better bigkids - sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

No, he's never really liked them for some reason. He'd rather have the real thing!

judy hopefully he will just start to slowly drop those extra wakings, that's what DS did. And then we grew to trust that when he woke up at certain times it was genuine hunger and at other times not so we know when to resettle (which DH always does) and when to feed (which I always do).

Cosmosis what about night wakings (when you have them ) and you do feed him - is that back to sleep or is he definitely awake?

Judys your first nap of the day sounds lovely!! I'm sure that's the kind of memory you will look back on with fondness when your DS is older.

My buggy nap hasn't worked today or yesterday (30 mins only) - think this may be a sign to get both naps happening in the cot.

Andrea thinks that I ought to night wean completely as one feed at one ish isn't working. I am nervous but I think I agree. So the next three days are one three-minute feed after three and nothing else till seven. We also have to continue to focus on self settling, keep our nerve and our patience and try to keep him in the cot til seven, not let him sleep on me from five thirty which he has been doing. Patience, patience.

We made a descision that any one waking after 1 would be fed, and any before then or after the feed would be settled. We did that because we've tried feeding at the 10/11ish waking before and he just falls asleep and doesn't have a proper feed, so we figured if we woke later he'd probably be hungry. DH settles for any waking before 1 and after the one where I feed. For the ones when I feed, usually I put him back down awake and he falls alseep straight away, occasionally i'll have to rock him back to sleep.

I must start setting some boundaries with feeds again. I was down to about one feed between 11 and 5, but with staying at my mum's and us all having colds, that's gone to pot a bit.

Having said that, I've just managed to get DS to sleep in the cot rather than in my arms for the first time in a couple of weeks, and no crying, so that's something.

(yawns) helloooo, I'm still here (i was briefly on the original thread!)- 8 months on and settling or feeding several times a night! Absolutely worn down by it all now.

he did it again! We weren't expecting that. And even better went back to sleep at 5, till 7 rather than deciding 5 was playtime.

Oh wow Cosmosis - brilliant! You must feel like a million dollars.

I fed DS through the night last night. Am just too tired and ill. I fell asleep feeding him twice

He's asleep on me now - for some unknown reason he's regressed to newborn behaviour for naps and won't be put down. Seeing as he's twice as heavy as he was then, he's sort of slumped on my shoulder rather than snuggled on my chest ... it's quite sweet though.

Aww poor DS count, do you think he might be coming down with somethign? DS gets like that when he's poorly.

I managed to sleep really badly last night as we'd had a couple of glasses of wine :(

Yes, he's just getting over a cold (the one he gave to me and DH ) and the clinginess did seem to start when he was ill.

How old is your DS now?

He'll be 9m on 5th. how kind of him to share with you both

Hi, I'm new on here, its so nice to know its not just me surviving on coffee!! DS2 is 23 weeks. He was going through from 7pm until 2ish, having a feed then sleeping again in cot til about 5.30ish but that has all stopped in the last week. Last night he was awake at 11.30, 12.30, I gave in at 1.30 and fed him then had him in bed with me and fed on and off until 6am. He refused to sleep in moses basket/cot until he was 12 weeks and we seem to have regressed to those dark dark days!! However he does self settle and the start of the night and likes to nap, sucking his thumb on the floor during the day (partly on his mat, partly on the cold laminate floor - shhhh dont tell the HV!) so its not all bad!

Oh and he is BF, would it make a difference if we completely switched to formula???

Hi shuffle. Sounds like you have some good stuff to build on though. It's probably four-month sleep regression but he'll probably come out of it OK if he can self-settle (which my DS can't do at 8 months ). Feel free to vent here in the meantime though!

DS is still up. He's completely manic and hyper at bedtime these days and it takes hours of feeding, rocking or screaming (or all three) to get him to bed. I've promised DH we will consider CC when we get back from holiday - he'll be 9 months then. Really don't want to but we just can't go on like this. I took extra mat leave partly because of his sleep issues, but time is running out now and I need to go back to work in September. I have a stressful job and simply won't survive if DS still isn't sleeping :(

PS re formula - I doubt it, but have never tried it so not best person to advise. Have read quite a few threads on here where people have said it made no difference to their baby's sleep but gave them a break because their DP could do a feed while they slept (though obviously you could do that with EBM too).

shuffle welcome to the thread :) I don't think formula makes a difference to bad sleepers, my friends ds is fully ff and he is just as rubbish a sleeper as DS is.

don't feel bad about CC count we've all contemplated it and god knows you've tried everything going haven't you?

Hi all, sorry to not have caught up for ages. You know how it is when you even bore yourself with the sleep issues...

Good news is that dd's vomiting seems cold related and not dairy, so back on the dairy and no vomiting for a while. And we seem to be down to just one feed a night, around 3-5 though it's usually a half hour long one. Still some waking in between, usually just as I am drifting off, but I feel we've made progress.

But we are going camping for 2 nights tomorrow so i am going to need your most positive sleepy thoughts for all of us please!

I can't remember if I posted On a previous thread or not, it's all a blur. :(. Sleep in general has been terrible round these parts, we occasionally get a reprieve where she only wakes every 3 hours. For the past week I've been in my own personal hell where she's waking every 1.5 hours to eat/snack/whatever. I think it might be a growth spurt because she's suddenly feeding loads during the day too. I'm completely worn out and I can't even contemplate what needs to be done so I can start working from home now that mat leave has run out.

The only nice thing about the growth spurt is that she's napping more!

She's 7mo BTW.

Invaderzim :(. Don't think you have posted before so welcome. We'd like to have a high turn around on this thread but there is generally a core of v tired people on here.

Maybe if you post in more detail your nighttime hell routine we can give you some advice, although given that we are all still here we are not necessarily the best people to give advice! However we are the best people to empathise about sleepwalking through life so it's a good place for venting :)

Still only one feed between 8 & 7 again (at 4.30) but woke up at 2.30 and struggled to resettle her. She is a bugger to get to sleep now as she just rolls over when I am trying to feeding. I have to either literally grasp her to me on the the breast or give up and put her in the cot to cry herself to sleep while she finds a comfortable position :(

Got her first tooth yesterday too! Can't say I've notice to teeth make much of a difference on her sleep, but she had been randomly bursting into tears the past few days.

Count I really feel for you at the moment. Wish I knew how to help.

Good luck with the camping bumper. Maybe all that fresh air will knock her out?
I don't think DS's sleep is going to get better anytime soon as we've had to come up to Scotland as my dad isn't very well. We drove up so on Thursday he had his bedtime routine in a service station and last night in a supermarket cafe and he's been in the car seat for 10 hours. Last night was quite bad but we're staying with my brother so I fed most of the time so as not to wake his DD and as I'm so tired.
He's really tired but was up at half five this morning - the nights are very short up here so hoping the gro-blind does it's magic.
Hope you feel better soon count.

I've just discovered these posts and I'm so glad - not that others are suffering - but that i'm not the only one. DD will not even think about sleeping til 11pm, and thats only after she has bf herself to sleep...her last nap being around 3 o'clock..every night convinced that this will be the night that she is finally tired enough to just sleep...and it works til around midnight, back up at 01:00-01:30,and at least another 5 times throughout the course of the night...i am about demented! Plus she she has discovered that she can do this really high pitched scream and she keeps waking all these other babies having nice morning naps...it is quite funny really..although its only week 2 of the screaming!

The next person who tells me to sleep when she does, may get a gesture from me,because the 3 power naps a day she has, lasting 20mins tops are not condusive to me sleeping. She hated her moses basket, crib and now is not a big fan of her cot...little darling!!

DD is 6 1/2mths, bf..done the co-sleeping thing which didnt make a difference, dont want to do controlled crying, dd will not settle for dh. Sleep deprivation means that i do what works in any way, shape or form..but reading through these posts gives me hope that this will end...cos cant remember if it was here or in previous topics that someone suffered from pregnancy related insomnia...but i havent slept for nearly a year and a half!

Going to go back now and read all the posts i can find..cos it is empowering...i could have written most of the bad experience ones!

First thing i may try is stopping the feeding to sleep...

Hope the camping is a success Bumper. Update: DS slept until 1.30am from 6.30pm, so I was Miss Smuggy McSmugpants,but he then didnt go back to sleep until after 4am - he just lay there gurgling happily, until he started to cry loudly at 4am, at which point DH woke up, nudged me and said"Cant you hear that" "Yes actually dear, I can, I have heard it for the last two hours, that and your feckin snoring" . Anyhow after giving in and feeding him again, we all slept until after 7.30am, including DS1 aged 5

Hi all,

I hope you don't mind me joining this post but i've been reading it and you all seem like a supportive lot so I was wondering if you have any advice for me please?

My ds is 14 weeks old next Tuesday, bottle fed (breastfed for two weeks at first) and due to dehydration and hunger issues in the beginning was very screamy tearful for the first few days. This led to him being held and cuddled non stop and we coslept For the first 8 weeks he was never put down to sleep. He hated his moses basket and we all needed sleep so we cuddled and held him all the time he slept. I heard a lot of 'making rod for own back' re holding all the time but I was not going to let him cry and as you'll understand we all needed sleep.

After some good advice from mn we bought a 3 sided cot and bungee roped it to the side of the bed. At 8 weeks he magically went in this at about 8pm (fed to sleep) and we feed him again at 10.45pm. Some nights there are lots of 'dummy' runs in this time and sometimes only 1! Then he sleeps in this through the night but wakes a LOT. Mostly for his dummy to be put back in and he is always back in our bed by 5am (sometimes a lot earlier). He doesn't seem to want a night feed anymore!

He naps really well through the day but only if being held, ocassionally in his pram but not really so any days out mean his naps really suffer and then he is hard to settle later.

I guess I am looking for advice on how to get him to go down on his own through the day and how to tackle the night time dummy issue.

If you have read this very long post then thank you very much (I do go on and on sometimes!).

Any advice greatfully recieved and I hope you all have a decent nights sleep tonight!

Hi people-even-newer-than-me! This is a lovely supportive thread, it has saved my sanity. I come across as a right grumpy cow on here because it's my place to let it all out, I try never to moan about his sleep to anyone other than DH in real life so I don't lose all my friends :)

If you want to look through all the posts - and let's face it you'll have lots of time in the night!- remember the two previous threads!

I don't have any advice snarfle as I suffer with the dummy too. In terms of self settling, I've been having success recently as a result of sheer persistence and consistency and gradual, gradual steps. I.e. First hug to sleep without feeding. Then hug and put down when asleep. Then put down when very nearly asleep and hug in cot to sleep. Then down when nearly asleep and stroke in cot. Etc. Have you tried that already though?