The 'newborn - sleep nightmare' continuation thread, Cosmosis, count, emo etc. Still a sleep nightmare?

[Bumperlicious]

Just thought I'd catch up with all of you from the last thread to see if now we've moved on from the newborn stage things are any better?

Dd2 is nearly 5 months and sleep is still hit and miss. She is not good at sleeping when out and about so mornings are either spent at home or I choose to socialise and spend the rest of the day fighting to get her to sleep.

She still rarely goes down in the evening despite me trying for 1.5 hours. Eventually goes down 11.30ish and still often wakes twice a night

Am knackered, no end in sight. How's everyone else doing?

Well, I had a bad night, but for once it wasn't entirely DS's fault. I've had a cold all week (DS had it, but thankfully bounced back within 24 hours and it didn't really affect his nighttime sleep - not that it could get much worse). By yesterday evening it had descended onto my chest and I spent much of the night coughing into my pillow so as not to wake DS. He fed about four times between 12 and 8, but fed straight back to sleep each time; I ended up wide awake at 5.30am, unable to sleep or even lie down due to being full of phlegm, watching him snooze away blissfully next to me. That's two and a half hours' sleep I could have had but didn't.

Bleurgh. Feel like death. Not sure how I'm going to get through today. He's gone down for his first nap without too much fuss - just wish he would sleep longer than 45 minutes in the daytime ...

hello again all. well we were doing better but we've both been ill with d&v so it's all gone to pot as he's been super clingy and will only sleep on me - which is not great when I am feeling like shit as well!

I'm back at work in april and am dreading it, but I keep repeating, he'll be 7 months then it will all be different....

Things will be coming to a head soon though as he'll have grown out of his basket in a month or so so will have to go in his own room (no room in ours for cot). He's not super tiny, my mb was mine when I was a baby and I think they made them bigger in the 70's . I am hoping that he partly wakes because we are disturbing him so maybe own room will be better? I dunno, still not done the pu.pd thing I was talking about as I read you had to do it for all naps as well and that put me right off.

Sorry for the waffle, I was actually thinking of you all as he woke for the millionth time last night and it did make me feel better that I am not the only one out there struggling.

cos hello. Yes I think we wake ds up too, vain hope he will also sleep better once in own room. Am bloody sure dh wakes me when snoring so no way ds could sleep through it! I am also back to work properly in april - kind of back now but not really - and wondering how the hell i am going to survive

We were up at 2 last night then every hour from 4. I am a fecking zombie today. He fed back to sleep quite quickly which is the consolation. Off out for a walk to see if he'll nap.

By the way hope you feel better

STOP PRESS. DS has just self settled.

that is all.

WOW. Amazing. Please reveal your secrets!

AMEN! the holy grail, Cosmosis. I have had a shit day with my two but am so happy to read some good news.

And how did you do it?

Amazing Cosmosis, it can be done!

Hope you are feeling better count :)

Dh took the night shift last night and I slept downstairs! Bliss! He is being great since I said to him 'I'm not sure how many more hints in can drop to let you know I am not coping, so I am telling you now - I'm not coping!'. Funnily enough she woke at 12.30 and he said he ignored her and she went back off to sleep. I did wonder whether she really was that hungry but I've never left her. Not at night anyway. Just left her crying for 10 minutes to see if she would go off to sleep as it has worked a couple of times, & sometimes us being there with her seems to make things worse. Not worked though so looks like another evening spent trying to feed her to sleep

Hello bump count and cosmosis I thought I should check in. DD is now nearly 5 months old and sleeps reasonably well at night, the whole arms waving and waking her up thing along with crying for hours at night through overtiredness petered out around 15 weeks. But gosh those 15 weeks were long! I wish you all the best with your babies, I am afraid I have no magic tips except that eventually she seemed to grow out of it. Sending you all virtual zzzzzzzzzzs.

DH has just spent an hour settling DS by waving him in front of the detuned radio in the kitchen. I've had a microwave meal and am in bed, just about to try and grab a couple of hours before the night-time shenanigans begin.

Well done Cosmosis - great stuff! Tell us your secret ...

Glad things just got better on their own, emo! gives me hope ...

BF, refluxer mummy here too. Oh and a whole bunch of food intolerances so BLW, but at least knowing what to avoid means the tummy issues aren't compounding the sleep ones.

And just when I thought we had got into some vague nap routine... its all gone completely to pot again! Not sure if I'm blaming teething, trying to crawl, the latest feted sleep regression or whether its a random joke the cosmos is playing on me (again)

I'm not really inspiring those with younger babies am I

Oh god....
Where do I start. If I think about sleep too much I get hysterical!!!!
My DS is now 9.5 months and wakes every hour, sometimes more throughout the night. It's just hell. We don't know what to do. My DH does one 'shift' and I do the other so that we at least get three hours of consecutive sleep each. NOT ENOUGH THOUGH!
He has never been any different. We have had the odd break through, the odd night of only one or two wakings but any little thing sets him back to stage on.
We have had a very unsettled year, many moves and changes. It's never been the right time to do any kind of sleep training - now he's teething big time but I think that at some stage we need to do something because the situation is just terrible.

It gives me a little comfort to know I am not the only one. I am so sick of everybody I know telling me about their babies who sleep through....

Glad I'm not the only one using household objects to try and get my DS to sleep count. We're on night 4 of shush pat and I've been using the hairdryer again and also my mobile phone for an impromptu light show. Last night we got DS to sleep in 40 mins using shush pat but had to be resettled twice over the next 2 hours. He then did a 4 hour stretch which he hasn't done for weeks and only woke at 1.30am, 4am and 6am which is an amazing night for us. We've settled DS 3 times already tonight as well with a good solid hour of screaming along the way .I'm not sure which is worse though - the continual night waking or spending hours in the evening trying to settle a crying baby.
Hope you don't mind that I've gatecrashed this thread as well but I've lurked on serveral of you guys threads and had advice from some of you as well. Hope everyone is having relatively good evenings.

Can anybody recommend a good book to buy that has some suggestion for sleep training that is quite gentle? I think DH and I really need to formulate a plan, write it down and stick to it but I think it will easier for us to agree on something if we have some guidance.

Thanks!

Martha there is a book called ' the no-cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth pantley which has lots of gentle suggestions which take a wee while longer to work. I own it but not actually had chance to read it yet.

We are up for the first time already, possibly the shortest sleep yet. Bodes v badly for rest of night. Hope everyone ok.

before you all get over excited, it didn't stop him from waking every hour after 12.30!

As for secret, I did nothing. TBH he did it over the weekend when he was poorly but I thought that may have just been a fluke as he was shattered from vomming, also I was in the room in bed as wasn't feeling great. Anyhow I just tried it as a bit of an experiment. Fed him and he dropped off, so put him in his basket but he woke on being transferred. Sometimes he opens his eyes and shuts them again immediately, and sometimes he starts crying. This time he opened them and lay there looking at me. So I just thought ok, you're fed, you're tired, you're not upset, what will happen if I shut the door. So that's what I did, and silence.....

Now we just need to work out what to do for the night wakings....

Judy don't worry about gatecrashing, the more the merrier [bleary eyed emoticon]

That's good though cos, at least you know he can do it. Think I remember you from the Pesh thread. I was away a lot with work so ended up losing track of it.

We were up every 2 hours which wasn't great. Dh and I had mini row this morning, he thinks should just leave him to cry and see what happens. I just can't do it though. He is only up for about 15 mins which I would rather put up with than him screaming.

Yes, you will remember me from PESH :) I thought I recognised your name.

We have the same row every now and then, I just cannot leave him to cry. I don't think DH can either really, he just suggests it when we're both tired and frustrated.

We have the crying discussion too...I just couldn't live with myself of I let him cry too long knowing I could calm him down. Course dh is in the spare room most nights (he wakes the baby, the baby wakes me, I wake dh ad infinitum, separate beds is the only way anyone gets any sleep!) so he only really says it in response to how tired I am.

Another awful night here, between the jabs and ds second cold he was waking every 20mins at one point, horrible. I really hate the way I feel about him at night - after the 5th awakening or so I'm just thinking Gawd, go back to bloody sleep already! But then in the morning when he wakes and gives me a big gummy grin it's all better again. Well, until the next evening that is...

Does anyone else struggle with daytime sleep as well? Ds is still doing his naps in arms, mainly, although amazingly he slept for 30 mins in the pram today - fingers crossed a sign of things to come!

emo I'm interested to read that you had less probs with waving arms and legs waking your lo up after about 15 weeks. ATM ds is swaddled and I need to keep a hand on his tummy most of the night to help stop him startling himself awake really hoping his moro reflex disappears soon! Heard it's usually around the four month mark which chimes in with your experience.

spoon yes, daytime sleep is a struggle. DS used to sleep on me and I hated it because I never got anything done. Now he's bigger, he fidgets and wakes up within 5 minutes on the rare occasions he falls asleep on me so I have to put him down in his cot. Now I wish he would sleep on me - not only do I miss the cuddles, it also means I am pretty much confined to the house (he's a bit of a pram hater).

I swaddle him for all sleeps and he is nearly 5 months. I tried putting him down unswaddled earlier in the week but he only lasted 7 minutes before the startle reflex kicked in. Really hoping he grows out of it soon.

Count, we are the same with the swaddle. If she de-swaddles in the night and I try & put her down she won't go off. Every now and then I think I will try and put her down in the day un swaddled, but each time I'm so desperate for her to sleep I never do. Have no idea how to progress from here.

Hope you are feeling better btw.

We are on our nightly mission to get dd2 down. Don't know why I bother. I will end up sleep-feeding her for 2 hours then try and put her down bu she invariably wakes up. I hate not having an evening.

Thanks bumper. Still feeling crap but DH has taken the day off tomorrow to look after DS so I can rest.

Funny you all mention the 'leave to cry mini-row' - DH and I have just done that 10 minutes ago! I don't like the idea of it at all, but I'd be tempted if I thought it might work. I really don't think it would, though. I reckon he could keep screaming all night and not go to sleep.

I actually think I'm reaching breaking point. I'm in floods of tears every day over this and my relationship with DH is suffering. :(

Oh count, I know that feeling. Dh and I also just had the leave to cry debate. I've tried it a few times, no longer than 10 mins. You can tell when they aren't going to settle down, but yesterday when I caved in and fed her again she was all shivery and shaky :(. Dh doesn't want to leave her to cry for ages but he has started saying 'she's learning that crying gets her own way' :(

Count, I've felt like you and shall I be honest? I went to the gp and got anti depressants. Not sure that I have pnd but the tiredness is making me miserable. I can't change the tiredness so thought I could try and change how I am dealing with it.