Right MNHQ, I'm looking at you.

[ShowOfHands]

You know what I want. Enough with the delayed gratification.

I will not be moved. I have a banner.

Do it.

I don't think a hamster would cover that

They agree

I fear MNHQ are no longer listening.

I'm saddened and shocked and hurt and offended and hungry and disillusioned and disenchanted and dissatisfied and drab and dreary and discombobulated and all the d words.

Bella I know nowt about sexual practices, fetishised or otherwise. Ask serenity, she knows the purity of my heart.

Now, I must just state that I do not wish to be the Mary Whitehouse of MN, I'm younger than her for a start. And I don't want all sex shoved in the corner, way too painful. I think a smattering of light shennanigans across the board are easily tolerated but there are some threads that people would not want smeared across active convos. I ache to see them without a true home.

Right, let's have a campfire and get stoned revolutionary.

I want my topic. I'm going nowhere. You hear me MNHQ NOWHERE. Now get MP over here, she knows the bods at HQ, we may be able to use her to our advantage. We'll pay her with photoshopped pics of Chris Corcoran. I know the cut of her gib.

This would be useful for Fridays on the road

Oh. I'm a bit disappointed now.

These all say "Yea"

That's it!

I've been to the other side - you know, with the tickers and hugs and all.

They have a sex topic! In full view! It's called health, sex and contraception.

Somebody posted this about her rabbit :

Hey ladies !!
Bad news ; My Rabbit broke last night it was 8 inches, quite thick, and had the most AMAZING ears with variable speeds and functions ( I am a clit woman - Sorry in TMI )
So now I need to get a new one,but I havent any ideas. Any reccomendations .... ??
Thanks in advance
xx

Why, Jack. Why?

SoH is indeed pure of heart crosses fingers behind back
She's almost as pure as me, and I'm as pure as an angel in a trenchcoat

SOH - I do most earnestly apologise for besmirching your pure and innocent mind with my talk of fetishism.

I trust you will agree I would benefit from a good hard spanking

You see? Morning sickness and sex are compatible, so why not MN....

Hully, I will never be able to look at Daniel Craig the same way again. So disillusioned. If it had been in a Friday night topic I might have hidden it and never seen it...but no, thanks to MNHQ not providing somewhere for links such as that to be hidden it is ruined. Ruined I tell you!

Yes. With a paddle.

Oh God that trenchcoat. It screams accountant, I know, I do know that but oh the things it does to me. I'm ill aren't I, it's an illness.

serenity is Snow White, but you know, drifted a wee bit.

Right, those other ticker fetishists have a sex thread, I won't be beaten by them. It's not right.

Hully, is your google different to mine? And everybody else's?

Does every cock taste different?

Does Scottish cock taste of whiskey for instance? Russian cock of vodka? English cock of lager? Indian cock of curry?

Are there national cocks? Should we be proud of our national cocks?

What does a teetotallers cock taste of?

Does the Pope fart and if he does, will anyone notice?

Do astronauts wank?

good god, just been to the other side. Tis a veritable banquet of smut. Although sadly the thread I read was in txt spk! Arghhh. Can't help but think a call to the Daily Mail may be in order. We are being marginalised, I'm sure the Dm like a bit of bum sex in the corner.

I reckon that Justine, Helen et all are hiding under the desks, with their fingers in their ears, singing 'la la la la' at the tops of their voices, in the hopes that reality will return sooooooon!!

But seriously - if you are going to have a thread about bumsex and Friday Night Topics that's as good as this thread, can someone let me know in advance please - I'd have blown off ds3's Parents Evening if I'd known all this fun was happening.

BTW - if we can't have a Friday Night Topic, what about some Friday Evening Snickers, instead.

There once was a poster called ShowOfHands
Who found Mumsnet really quite bland
And being philanthropic
She begged a new topic
For us all to talk about flange

Now give me my fricking topic or I'll write more limericks.

no,
it must be
haiku

and they
will
hear

Friday night topic
ShowofHands politely asks
She will not be moved

SDTG wishes she'd blown off ds3's teacher last night?

I think you need a section all to yourself, love

I thought yesterday there should be one.

Maybe hq are worried about the headlines and losing ads like disney?

It's okay, LBAM - the advertisers are sorted.

Even Disney has come up with suitable merchandise

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm angels

Awwww - thanks bella!!

pmsl