We've deleted the Madeleine McCann thread

[JustineMumsnet]

Because had we deleted all the posts that were worthy of deletion contained within it we would have lost half a thread, and what remained would have made no sense.

We would like to remind folks that Mumsnet's central philosophy is to make parents' lives easier. The McCanns are parents, they haven't been found guilty of anything and they have lost a child. By all means discuss the issues around this tragic case but please don't attack them personally here.
Thanks,
MNHQ

it's made me think though... it would be good if there could be a 'missing children' section on mumsnet where people could post info or links to trace missing young people and children. if you think about how many mnetters and lurkers there are and how much publicity the site gets, it would be good to use that positively rather than just for spikey 'debates'.

any thoughts? justine?

surely as mothers we should support those tracing lost children any way we can.

The original McCann threads went exactly the same way as I recall.

You know, it's really shocked me that people can be like this. When I look back to when our children were very young, dh and I made some wrong decisions and did some stupid things. I remember getting a neighbour to babysit once whilst we went out for a meal, it was whilst we still occasionally used the baby alarm. We'd booked the restaurant, got all ready, kids in bed etc and the babysitter came, she asked for the baby alarm and then bid us a good night whilst she went back off to her house, facing ours, with the baby alarm! Dh and I were in shock and went for our meal, but we didn't enjoy it at all as we thought about the risks our children were being exposed to. We finished up very quickly and rushed back home.

But that was just one of many mistakes we made as inexperienced, young parents. Luckily our children were fine, no harm has ever come to them. So when I found out about the McCanns I really did think "There but for the Grace of God go I".

It's easy to see why they did it. You're on holiday with friends, they all think nothing of going out for meals with their own kids tucked up in bed. It's a secure holiday site. You can see the apartment from the restaurant. Your children are good sleepers. You agree to check on them every half an hour.

You would never, ever, think in your wildest dreams that someone would scale up to the window and take one of your sleeping children!

No doubt, if that hadn't have happened, the McCanns would have got home and later discuss just how foolish they had been in doing that and what an unreasonable risk it was to take.

It's so easy when you are sat here, to think rationally about all the risks involved. But when you are in that moment, you can forgive humans their mistakes, their inadequacies, their foolishness. The McCanns paid very dearly for that night. Hundreds of us parents make foolish decisions that we don't pay dearly for. And I thank God for that.

But how inhuman are those who point the finger, who judge, who refuse to forgive human beings their mistakes. Who, when the heart has been ripped out of a family, want to punish them more. I wonder what kind of human beings those people are?

How very well said, Rhubarb

Am very glad thread was pulled. Wasn't on MN yesterday but read it on Sunday and thought it was just awful

Amen, Rhubarb.

no opinions on a missing children/young person section in Talk then......?

Absolutely Rhubarb.

As parents, we all make mistakes, and some of us have to pay very dearly for them but most of us don't, however the risks were still there, we were just lucky. They aren't the first and certainly won't be the last.

The utter nastiness, halo wearing judging and general apathy to what has happened to the McCanns from a lot of people on that thread was shocking. And it seems they still wish to pursue it and justify their words which is just as shocking.

It is also so interesting that declared and continued posters on women's rights and equality were so keen to abhorently judge another mother as being responsible for the tragedy, generally (and I have difficulty understanding her actual argument) because she was smiling

Ah but have you never heard of the "Delusional Professional Syndrome"?

Whenever a case like this comes up, all of a sudden you'll get posters who know everything about psychology, forensics, police detection work, psychiatry and so on.

hmmm, roundly ignored then.

Sorry blinks, you'll have to email MNHQ personally.

okay, will do.

Is that Delusional Professional-who-is-Unable-to-Understand-Simple-Facts-or-have-any-form-of-empathy- and Stands-By-an-Argument-Just for-the-Sake-of-It-even-In-the-Face-of Conflicting-Evidence-Cos-this-story-could-be-so-much-juicier-than-it-really-is-and-I-am-super-intell igent-so-I-understand-this-much-better-than-any-of-you-thickos-who-just-read-normal-newspapers-Syndr ome ?

Yup, that's the one!

They can tell at the blink of an eye whether someone is lying or not. They've had access to interview papers and know far more that those idiot policemen. They are experts on crime scenes and it's possible they are able to look back into the past and pick up clues that the idiot police have missed. They even claim to know exactly what happened and who the culprits are, even only people would take them seriously!

And are probably all thinking now "you just wait and you will see that I was right".

Because they are that delusional.

interesting, why didn't this happen with all the Jade goody threads though?

Chavs

I only remember one about Jade talking about her decisions to die in public. I don't see the comparison personally.

Jade wasn't the 'right' sort of person

People were saying her cancer was all a publicity stunt if i remember, right up to the last minute which is just as nasty

So now we have people who would like to discuss/debate, people who have empathy but also question and accusers all lumped together, being slagged off and ridiculed with head office approval, nice

Now the thread has gone no one has anyway of knowing what was on it, when in fact there was only one accuser

I\d still like to know why the subject of MM is protected and not all the other downright nasty ones

Completely agree Rhubarb, well said.

because. it's. a. child. who is probably dead. Or who might - jesus - still be alive.

what are you getting out of this? really?

scaredoflove, I never saw that on Mumsnet. What I did see were lots of people sympathising with Jade. There were one or two who thought the publicity was untactful and who felt sorry for her boys. Generally though the threads were condemning of other sites who took the piss out of Jade.

This topic is different because it concerns a minor who cannot defend herself, not to mention her 2 siblings. It's a criminal investigation - very different from a young woman contracting cancer. Speculating about what happened to Madeline, accusing the parents of being involved, condemning the parents and calling for their other children to be taken from them - all of this is slander and potentially harmful to any criminal investigation.

I think you'll also find that when it involved a child, people do get more emotionally involved and, as with the Baby P threads, people get upset and affected by what they read on Mumsnet.

I can totally understand MNHQ's decision to delete the threads.

I'm getting nothing out of it, I wasn't on the thread, I read it like many did. I didn't get the jade hysteria, nor the MM, or baby P or diana. I haven't got involved but I have read as peoples reactions interest me

It's the double standards I honestly don't get

Rhubarb, generally yesterdays thread was the same, one downright loony poster, others wanting debate, many more (regulars/oldies) wanting ALL talk quashed. Why not on the dad and the sea topic??? (which I spoke of last night) that is similar to MM but it was a free for all and at times plain nasty and I've seen others

Why this topic only?

I think, from Justine's post, that by the time they'd deleted all the posts that needed to be deleted (presumably because they were potentially libellous) that the rest of the thread didn't make any sense - so it was better to delete the whole of it.

It was one person's posts and only a few were libellous. Pointing out or asking about the fund isn't libellous, nor is stating that class and creed has had a part to play in how people have been treated

People yesterday were angry that anyone dared to speak of the topic at all, they were insulting to others asking questions....NOT others being libellous

A man suffered a tragedy, this was said on these boards

"He was so wrapt up in his piece on the side that he wasn't fucking paying attention to his young kids."

and this
"Whilst I have every sympathy for his loss - which is shattering and life altering - I have absolutely no hesitation in condemning his behaviour. His daughter died in an accident yes - but an accident that occurred because he was where he shouldn't have been and was focusing on someone he shouldn't have! He has to live with the knowledge that his daughter died because he didn't take care to prevent it - unfortunately so does the rest of their family."

That was allowed to stand as have many many others, yesterdays thread was no worse (other than the ONE accuser)

that's what I don't understand, no other topic gets this level of censorship