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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Mumsnet - please can you sort out all the Jade posts?

262 replies

PussinJimmyChoos · 22/03/2009 22:26

Its horrible. Regardless of what she did/didn't do, she was a mother. We are all mums and God forbid we will ever have to go through something like this, knowing we will leave our kids behind and not see them grow up.

Threads like this are not in the spirit of Mumsnet and yes, I can hide them if I want, but to be honest, would like to see them deleted. I know policy is to let the debates run with minimum intervention, but tonight its going too far

Thanks,

Puss

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:14

have they been deleted? i'm not getting them in my active convos. i wonder if i've somehow (happily) put the relevant topic in my hide list?

2shoes · 22/03/2009 23:15

wannaBe we still have the funeral and jack the pratt going to court to be sentanced to come

FAQinglovely · 22/03/2009 23:16

why not just one thread for everything? There was only one McCann thread wasn't there - I didn't read it but I should imagine that had people from both sides of the fence (and those sitting in the middle) on it.

And I fear it may stretch out at least 2 weeks, 1 week to discuss todays sad news, then another week to discuss the funeral,........

dittany · 22/03/2009 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KayHarkerIsPlayingWithMitchell · 22/03/2009 23:21

Aitch, it's cooled down a bit now - earlier, it was bonkers.

wannaBe · 22/03/2009 23:23

I wonder whether, instead of requests to have only one thread as has been the case a few times, whether a facility could be implemented like the search facility?

So instead of it being to search threads it could be like a filter? so you could have a box to hide threads that contained these words and perhaps have another box so you could say specify how many times a word should occur before the thread were hidden.

then click "hide threads" and voila they'd be gone.

AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:24

mnhq have met cameron, and the mn masses had a live webchat with him. there is some sense to passing on a message in that instance, but we can't all be expected never to say anything bad about a public figure in case they die.

dittany · 22/03/2009 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadow · 22/03/2009 23:39

I dont see what good passing on condolances from some parenting forum would do. She was a controversial persion. One cannot expect people to post in a manner that gratifies just so that entire threads can be passed on. What we have seen here the last week has possibly been a fairly accurate mirror image of how the population in general view her.

I dont think you can compare the Camerons and the Goodys.

AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:41

the tradition? surely forums haven't been around long enough to have real traditions? besides, i've been at plenty of funerals where people have talked openly about the character flaws of the deceased. you'd want to hear what people were saying about dh's stepdad.

what happened on these threads today? if people were saying that crying about jade goody etc was weird then... inflammatory and i wouldn't have done it today but it is a bit weird and you can't stop people from posting that tbh. plus, questioning people's reaction is not slagging off jade, surely? or were there lots of posts saying terrible things about jade? (i'd be inclined to think it'd be nothing they hadn't heard, mind you.)

AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:42

i know, qs. he was a wee boy, their son, that does seem very different.

dittany · 22/03/2009 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialShadow · 22/03/2009 23:45

I was going to say something really below the belt here about supply, demands, the capitalist ethos, profit and loss. But I restrain myself, and go to bed.

I bid thee goodnight.

AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:45

oh, i mentioned it at the time, about cameron being ghastly. i distinctly remember. he is ghastly, and he joined the tories at a time when they were particularly heinous.

doesn't mean i don't think it's tragic that he's lost his wee boy. or that jade lost her life. i don't think many people were identifying with the camerons in quite the same way as the jade stuff, though.

dittany · 22/03/2009 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 22/03/2009 23:53

on one of them, yes, i don't remember it being on a mass condolence thread though, if there was such a thing. he is not someone who i respect awfully.

BecauseImWorthIt · 23/03/2009 00:10

I posted on one of the Cameron threads, to say how sorry I was to hear about his son's death. I prefaced it by saying that I wasn't one of DC's fans, or something like that - and was (one of several) roundly criticised for it.

Seems like we're not actually allowed to express any empathy/sympathy/compassion yet also not like a particular person!

dittany · 23/03/2009 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 23/03/2009 00:19

WHY? where was this idea written down? who put dittany in charge?

nooka · 23/03/2009 02:40

Totally agree. I hate this "Saintification". I hated it at the time of Princess Di, and I hate it now. People have flaws, and if they are in the public eye, then everyone knows about them. Some people clearly feel the need to feel upset and say "oh how terrible". Others do not. I don't see why one view is more valid than the other. Obviously if people are going to be vile and start off about dancing on graves etc, then that's one thing, but otherwise I don't really see why dissenting views are not allowed. Free speech and all that.

BecauseImWorthIt · 23/03/2009 07:24

Nothing wrong in saying that you don't like someone. But it doesn't mean that you can't sympathise with them, empathise with their situation and have compassion for them.

And since when were we writing/posting on MN for the benefit of others? If it had been a thread to be sent to them, like a book of condolences, then that would be different.

It's very dubious when you start to want to prevent people from writing their true thoughts on a public forum.

beanieb · 23/03/2009 08:34

"but there are peopple who genuinely do not understand this outpouring of public grief for a total stranger. And because they do not get it they are branded discompassionate/unfeeling."

you are right, there are people who genuinely don't understand, Problem is that these people, rather than saying 'I don't get it' then sometimes go on to either have a go at people who are expressing sympathies and sadness or they end up saying some quite foul things about Jade Goody. Classic example was the thread where a couple of posters were speculating that she wasn't as ill as she said she was - the one where comments were made about her make-up ec.

those posts were so uncalled for and they were not the voice of people who don't understand other people's sympathies towards Jade Goody's family but were the voices of people who were being very mean about the whole situation. IMO.

2shoes · 23/03/2009 08:37

"doesn't mean i don't think it's tragic that he's lost his wee boy. or that jade lost her life. i don't think many people were identifying with the camerons in quite the same way as the jade stuff, though."

well I did.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 23/03/2009 08:49

how badly did the birthday thread kick off then? I reported it, as I thought the OP was in v bad taste (albiet the rest of the posts were not bad) and got an email to say it wasn't being deleted (fair enough) but it seems to be gone.

I think the issue with "one thread" is that people tend to start off with the intention of one thread (sometimes two start because people haven't checked the threads / start at the same time etc) but imo it always seems to be those anti the thread topic that start new threads.

For eg, there was two "Jade has died" threads, the first one only had a couple of posts and most people were posting on the second. But then the people who dont think posters should be allowed to say the feel sad go and start another thread, taking the piss, which kicks off and is deleted, and then this leads to more threads, and more threads...

MNHQ
JustineMumsnet · 23/03/2009 09:14

Hi all,
Just to let you know the background here... all the resurrected Jade Goody threads and a couple of troll-like ones (which we deleted) were started by the same person yesterday, using multiple nicknames. That member was, I assume, trying to make a point about hypocrisy/hysteria etc. Anyway we agree it's all in pretty poor taste given the timing and last night we had a word with the poster off-line and asked her to stop.

We don't generally delete things on the grounds of poor taste or even retrospectively delete things because someone, tragically, has died, because it really does become impossible to know where to draw the line - one person's definition of what's unacceptable is not the same as another's and we don't want to end up telling someone that the post(s) they find offensive isn't offensive enough to qualify for deletion IYSWIM, so we'd end up deleting pretty much everything that anyone found offensive - and that would mean deleting an awful lot indeed. Plus it would end up offending those who'd been deleted often when they

It's also not really feasible to combine all the Jade threads that have happened here over the years into one, but there's no reason why they can't just drop out of active conversations and be consigned to history again if folks don't contribute to them. Let's hope so.

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