So, if you ruled the world...

[JustineMumsnet]

What would you do? (in one paragraph!)
We have been asked by RED magazine what our take would be, so I need to consult the Mumsnet oracle. (Guess we should ask Harriet when she comes on too - she should have thought it through at least.)

I would delegate

A lot

Start again

I would mainly sit on my arse and eat Jaffa Cakes while my civil servants underlings ran around doing the actual work.

Or, failing that, I'd get all the world leaders together in a massive field, and put on a huge rave, with large amounts of MDMA freely available. If that doesn't bring about world peace, I don't know what will.

Make everyone swap places.

I would, most likely, have an awful lot of "least professional moments" to confess...

no one could rule the world without becoming a dictator far too many stupid people to bitch slap into place, or out of office as it were

-Distribute the world's wealth equally
-Ditto with food
-Sniff out corruption and the corrupt
-Forbid all weapons and wars
-Invite all the feuding hot countries to stay in cold countries for a bit.
-Force world leaders to get a proper job for a few days a week in order to educate them on what the people really want and need.
-Abolish the Scottish aristocracy, the 'old boy' network and unfeasibly large land ownership.

Ban the manufacture and sale of cigarettes, starting with a total ban in smoking in public places.

All people over 65 would get free heating, milk, tv licences, public transport and a free hair do/golf game once every couple of months.

Children wouldn't have to start school until they were already 5. None of this age 4 nonsense.

All mums or dads who wanted to stay at home would get an allowance for the first two years and the working parent would get a tax allowance to allow for only one wage coming in.

Ban anyone with a penis from making an important decision - they are to be made by women locked in a room with wine and jaffa cakes - world peace and harmony would be achieved in an afternoon.

lol at all these

Launch an official enquiry into God's performance as my predecessor in the role, and demand the return of all performance-related bonuses.

...or actually just not get on with world-ruling because of wasting time on MN. (Do you think this is the problem God has too?)

Tyrannical dictatorship, sustained by my use of the "Naughty Step" for all those who oppose me.

True, TW, it is commonly understood now that performance-related bonuses are the root of all evil.

Zapp all bad thoughts from every human being.

TW - 'Is God a MNer' would qualify as a whole other debate, I think...

I am clearly a natural born pessimist as all I can see are the flaws in other plans. MmeC's sounds like a nightmare to me, and youknownothing's misses the minor detail that the naughty step dictatorship depends on being a fundamentally benign dictatorship otherwise it will result in a rebellion (and putting people on the naughty step gets a whole lot more difficult when they have guns )

There - that's what I'd do - un-invent guns (and swords, sticks, stones....bugger, that won't work either)

I must confess that I have been a little distracted by AIBU and the bumsex threads recently.

If I ruled the world, then maybe - just maybe - I'd be able to get my sons to tidy their bedrooms!

----Eradicate (take that how you will but perhaps I'd just go for "making illegal") any religion that does not give women equal footing with men, not just a different kind of equality, absolute equality in all areas.

Religion whilst a blessing and comfort to many is the root of so much evil carried out in it's name.

I do see the need to redistribute wealth but lets be realistic and frank, once you'd done that some of the recipients would wantonly piss away their share and still expect their to be another redistribution as they were then poor again and so on and so on until overall resources had dwindled massively.

"there to be" - not "their to be"

I would prioritise reducing climate change - maybe I'd ground all flights for a while, force all energy efficiency measures through, invest in public transport (except flights) and cycle lanes and so on. Then I'd scrap SAtS and all faith schools. Then I'd tax all bankers huge amounts and ban any bonuses. And then I'd get going on smaller issues like making workplaces family friendly and closing the gender pay gap and scrapping any benefits for getting married. Then I'd ban advertising for children.
In fact I could just move to Sweden really.

I'd make being kind to all living things the only world religion.

All countries' leaders would share their power with a female equivalent. So we would have Gordon Brown and a female Prime Minister and Alistair Darling would have a female Chancellor of the Excheq.

I would blow up all the world's weapons with the last remaining pile of gunpowder and would make it illegal to ever produce a weapon again.

Actually what I would really do is:

1. Impeach myself, as manifestly not up to the job, and then

2. hand over to Vice President Palin, BUT

3. (this is the critical bit) it would be Michael Palin not Sarah.

He is NICE. He is good at going around the world and being cross-culturally nice. People can't help being nice back. The niceness would have ripple effects and trickle-down effects and all the other kind of spreading-out effects.

I'd send everyone out to have a good run around and calm down.